Cease Fire

So, you have your story about yourself or more likely, you have a handful of stories. In order to manage your life, perhaps you try to use one of your stories to suit different situations you face. Maybe that works and maybe it doesn’t.

What I sometimes find is that my story seems out of sync with life, forcing me to make some adaptations. When this happens, there can be challenges within me. I’ve come to recognize and accept that there are distinctly separate parts to me. There are my physical, emotional, mental, spiritual and ego parts. No doubt there are others, but these are the ones that raise their heads first.

When one or more of these parts are in conflict, the whole of me is pushed off center and a sense of unhappiness can take over. Often, it’s only for a brief period of time, but occasionally, it lasts for an uncomfortable span.

Here’s a quick example.

When my family and I were on vacation last summer, I moved wrong and hurt my back. Physically, I needed to rest, gently stretch and take it easy. Emotionally, I was torn between knowing I needed to give my body time to heal, and feeling sorry for myself for the fun I would be missing. Mentally, I wanted to figure out how to heal faster or decide how I could have fun while recuperating. Spiritually, I wondered about the mind-body-spirit connection and about the healing process. Would it be possible for me to marshal energetic forces to heal more quickly? And, my ego, well it had a field day, offering plenty of advice and opinions all aimed at self-protection. It also chided me that I should have been more careful. Thanks, really helpful!

Maybe you are wondering where the cease fire comes in. Actually, right here. Well, almost.

One quick reference. According to Wikipedia, cease fires date back to the Middle Ages, when warring factions decided they needed a break in the battle. They were supposed to be reconsidering the need to fight and whether resolution was possible, but often each side used the time to resupply, as preparation for more fighting. Curiously, it was also known as a ‘truce of God’.

To me, a cease fire is extremely important because it creates an intentional ‘pause’. A pause, not to resupply inner arguments as part of the ongoing war, but to allow the story to be reconsidered. And perhaps to find a resolution, hopefully where all parties are satisfied with the proposed outcome.

You can think about it as a ‘reset button’. Imagine what a relief it would be, in the middle of a fight, an argument, or an internal battle, to be able to hit the ‘reset button’ and pause the conflict. Imagine the pause giving you time to start over, to see the conflict from another perspective or to allow the intense energy to dissipate and drain away. Imagine the freedom this would create inside of you and how it could change your story.

I’d like to say that my vacation experience provided me with an immediately effective cease fire, but it didn’t. I had to spend time working through a few things before it leveled out. I discovered it takes practice.

I also learned that the practice is worth it and that each time I hit the reset button to call a cease fire, it becomes easier.

It also creates a wonderful opportunity for me to claim my best life, which I’ll talk about in the next post. See you then.

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4 Replies to “Cease Fire”

  1. I very much see myself in this. I really like the way you separated it into the different aspects – physical, mental, spiritual, and ego. For me, it always felt like it was just my mind playing all those parts – and my mind has a way of looking at things from every possible angle. Next time I’m at war with myself, I’ll try to think about it this way instead.


  2. Rob,

    Thank you for your post, Cease Fire!
    Responding as I so often do I’m looking at Cease Fire from a backwards view.
    Having to spend so much time in the house I have concentrated on reading, Using the computer in new ways and participating in Zoom Meetings. All of which
    you will note are sedentary activities.
    For a short time (a very short time) I attempted to add some daily exercise.
    However, I developed an aversion to think about exercise. I may have thought
    about physical exercise but nothing materialized.

    Today I took on physical exercise in a way I’ve often done in the past.
    Too much, too long driven to take care of physical duties that I have been putting off for months.

    Am I exhausted? Do my bones ache? YES, YES, YES.
    Will I sleep well tonight? Will I stay motivated to get off my ass? YES, YES,YES.


    1. Always challenging to make ourselves do certain things, even those things we have a strong feeling would be ‘good’ for us. I hope that somehow you find a way to succeed.


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