I wonder, did anyone ever tell you that you would be loved, no matter what?
I suspect someone may have said this out loud to you, but did it turn out to be the truth?
When you did something ‘wrong’ and were punished for it, did you feel loved or was this the beginning of your concerns about the world?
It’s only in retrospect that I’ve been able to see the truth in this for me. And it led to several other conclusions. I understood in a new way, that the world is not safe. And I came to believe that I could not fully trust others. I wanted to, but I couldn’t.
We are all creatures who observe. Not only do we hear what others say, we see what they do. We watch as they role model for us and then, we decide how to act. But I wonder, is it really a decision or is it a reaction?
If we want to feel safe and loved, aren’t we likely to act as others want or expect us to behave? That certainly feels true to me.
What also feels true to me is that I use this same reactive thinking and apply it outwardly to the rest of the world in all my relationships, the work world and everywhere I go.
My beliefs are formed around the principle of whether I feel loved. Beneath the surface I worry about whether I am meeting others’ expectations of me. Am I doing enough for them to love me?
This is what has been modeled for me.
There is no blame here. I don’t resent those who placed this expectation on me, and I don’t blame myself for accepting their expectations. Neither of us know any better. We’re just passing along what we’ve been taught, from one generation to the next.
I pause for a moment to consider.
How is this to change? What enlightenment will come into my life to show me a better way?
I know an answer, one that works for me, and I want to share it with you, in the hopes that it might work for you too.
I’ve talked a lot about it, if you’ve been reading my posts.
It is my relationship with (god). I bracket the word (god) because I want to distance us from standard definitions. To me, (god) has many forms and feels. For me, there is abba (father), na’a (mother), yeshiwa (brother), lia (sister) and essence (the foundation of all heavenly bliss),
When I invite them in, they come. They do not force their way in, ever. They wait for my invitation, then come and share their wisdom, insight, and love with me.
They are reflections of (god), each a part of the divine for me.
Yours might be different. I honor that. We all see and feel the truth in different ways. What seems important to me is that (god) is available to each of us, waiting for our decision to reach out with an invitation.
As soon as I open and ask and prepare myself to be quiet and listen, (god) appears. We now have two-way dialogues whenever I ask. Wonderful, honest, personal conversations.
It is here I know I am loved. It is here there are no expectations, conditions, or requirements. No matter what I have done or left undone, I feel loved.
Please know this relationship is yours as well, whenever you decide to choose it.
NOTE: If you’d like to know more about my relationship with (god) and how you can have your own, please feel free to read my book, talking with (god), available on Amazon in print and eBook versions.