Sadness to the Source of Love

This morning I gave myself permission to feel disappointed. I didn’t fight it or try to tell myself I shouldn’t feel this way.

I am human and I want to feel loved. Part of this, for me, is that when I give love out, I hope for it in return.

I don’t give love with an expectation or at least I try not to. I don’t want there to be any strings attached. I try to let love overflow through me, as naturally I am able.

But once it is given out, I recognize there is some part of me that waits to see if any of it will come back to me and I admit, this part of me is sad when it doesn’t.

Do you ever feel this way?

The permission I give myself allows me to lean into the sadness, recognizing I cannot outrun it. By leaning in I hope to discover something, perhaps something worthwhile enough that I can keep it with me for the rest of my life.

I sense there is value beyond the sadness, a hidden treasure for me to find which is even more powerful than the love I’d hoped would be returned.

Even with this open permission it’s hard to see through my disappointment, as if it shrouds everything in a dense mist.

I ask to see through the mist and some of it clears away, but not enough.

I wonder, what else can I do?

A question forms…what are my intentions? Once I’ve accepted and embraced my sadness over the love I did not receive, what am I hoping to experience?

A mysterious answer comes to me in the form of two questions. They echo over and over. Do you feel emptied by this act of overflowing love? And do you feel a need to be refilled?

My quick response is ‘yes’ to both.

I sit back and realize; I have attached strings. Thick, strong, tight strings.

A dawning happens. My disappointment and sadness are present to help guide me to seeing more clearly this inescapable truth about myself.

I am looking outside of myself for love.

I know that I am not alone in this. I see it everywhere I look. It is as if we were taught that we are not enough and need others love to be whole.

Hold still for a moment and see if there is any truth in this for you.

My admission seems earthshaking to me…’I am not enough, therefore, I must be filled by others’. This of course makes me reliant on others, as much as a baby is reliant on its caregivers for its every need.

The analogy is not lost on me, and I wonder how far I have actually grown.

Another question forms…can I find within me an inexhaustible wellspring of love that will forever feed me?

This idea overtakes me and offers to shatter my dependence on others to be filled from their love. This idea guides me to the truth I seek, that I am a part of the divine; whole, complete, and holy. That I am never emptied of love because the divine lives within me. That I am connected to the divine, the infinitely deep, inexhaustible source of love.

I am incredibly joyful to have given myself permission to feel my feelings and to follow them from disappointment and sadness to discovering the truth that I am a part of the source of love.

The High Road

You may be unfamiliar with the whole concept of ‘the high road’, so I’d like to share my definition with you.

Contrary to the Oxford Dictionary which lists the definition as, “a morally superior approach toward something”, my version is “simply speaking your truth in a way that supports and encourages you and others”.

My concept begs that a question be answered first.

What does ‘speaking your truth’ mean? And perhaps before you are able to answer this, there is a prior question that is necessary, ‘what is true for you’?

Do you feel forced to respond to questions from others or situations you face in a certain manner? Do you feel compelled to stay within the expectations of those you’re talking to or interacting with?

These are very big questions, so it might take you a few minutes to answer.

For me, the temptation is to respond in a way I believe others will find favorable. It’s part of my people-pleasing personality. This of course does not serve me well and I’ve spent quite a bit of time shifting away from it, to approaches that do serve me. But every so often, I observe myself either responding this way or being tempted to.

It takes a lot to resist this immediate impulse and I am still lured into it, though much more aware than I used to be. I’m happy each time I catch myself because this means I’m growing.

Often it takes my full awareness to wait before I let my voice come to the surface and speak what feels like the truth, especially when I know it’s not what someone else wants or expects to hear.

For me, this is part of taking ‘the high road’.

I constantly coach myself to be sensitive to other versions of the truth, to acknowledge the potential value they may offer me, but not be overwhelmed by their expectations or speak half-truths in response.

It’s hard for me to confess/admit but I am not here to please others, although when I come from a place of love, this is often what happens.

Walking ‘the high road’ means several practical things to me.

It means searching for multiple answers instead of choosing the easiest one.

It means before acting, that I consider my choices and which one(s) represent who I am and who I want to be in this world.

It also means that, because so many others are important to me, that I take the time I need to feel comfortable with my decisions, realizing I want them to support me first and then others to the extent I am able.

And it means spending time looking inside myself and sensing where the path of love is guiding me.

I am aware enough now to recognize I can’t do all of this by myself.

I need help.

I believe we all need help.

Sometimes help comes from friends, or family or a wonderful counselor. Sometimes it comes from someone who challenges us or annoys us or threatens us. Despite how hard it is to recognize this; it is often still the truth.

And there is another source of aid. It’s one I speak of often, so you probably already know. It is the divine, by whatever name you use. For me, the presence of the divine is not theoretical. It’s personal and tangible and magnificent and only one request away. For me and I believe, for you, the presence of the divine is always waiting patiently, ready to support you, encourage you and love you.

So, a final part of the process of taking ‘the high road’ is talking with the divine and coming to know within myself what is the truth for me. It’s also what you can do if it feels right to you.

Heaven on Earth (Part Two)

Hopefully you’ve had a chance to read Part One of this post about heaven on earth. If not, please check it out, as it will make this post more meaningful.

This is a continuation of an assignment I gave myself several years ago where the challenge was to create my best version of life here. In essence, to offer myself and the world an opportunity to come together, connecting and sharing our lives, in the hope that we could join forces and find a way to live a life of love.

Here is part two of my Heaven on Earth assignment:

(picking up from where I left off with ‘forgiveness’)

And

We would find that “community” happens naturally when we touch, hug, care, love and forgive each other- and that once we build community there will always be support for all of us- no one would ever have to feel alone or separate, that there would always be someone to help, to comfort, to teach, to encourage our dream, to reward our contribution, to love us.

And

There would be abundant and gentle humor, not filled with anger, envy or harm- a kind of humor that includes, rather than excludes- a kind of humor that joins us in laughter and connection- a kind of humor that increases joy.

And

There would be creativity of all kinds; art, music, writing, building- and everyone would be encouraged to participate, no matter what their skill level was, because creativity is individual and it would grow in a loving environment- where imagination would be given life and seen as an extension of heaven to be appreciated- a place where you could lose yourself in abandon.

And

It would be a place of “potential peace”, sometimes utterly peaceful where everything is at joyful rest; balanced, centered, open, deliriously right and when the world turns to chaos, fear, anger, worry and hurt, there would exist an awareness that peace is still possible, and people would see those in pain and come to their aid, to listen, to hold them, to help them release their fears, to touch their spirit and show their love and in this act, provide balance for both giver and receiver- a kind of sacred harmony.

And

There would be a feeling of freedom within each of us, a certain knowing that we are loved, wholly and completely by the divine- so that there would always be a center of hope within us, a light that cannot be extinguished, a flame that kindles our own love and that connects us to everyone else, our sacred family- so that joy is always present. (the end)

So, sit back for a moment or two and see how this strikes you.

Is it at all realistic? In your opinion, could it ever happen?

I confess that despite how much I wish that things could be this way, I have my doubts. Mostly, this is because each of us has received the precious gift of ‘free will’, the ability to decide for ourselves what beliefs we will hold and choose what actions we will take in the world. It seems too difficult for me to believe that every person would sacrifice their own ability to choose, regardless of how much it might benefit everyone in the process.

From what I’ve seen during my life, there are always those who will take from others. Their need or desire is so great, and their rationalizations are so strong that they feel it is right for them to enhance themselves, even at the expense of others.

If I’m entirely honest, could I say I haven’t done this myself?

This question forces me to consider my own nature, which is not an easy thing to do, once you’ve come up with a beautiful plan for creating heaven on earth.

So, where do I go from here?

As with absolutely every decision in my life, my choices create my experience. I feel it necessary to ask myself, what is the most important experience for ME? I guess this may be the same question you’d need to ask yourself.

When I feel connected to the divine, love is my choice, and it is this I hope to always choose.

Heaven On Earth

What if I asked you to tell me how you would create heaven on earth? Could you do it?

Let’s say you answered yes, where would you start?

Several years ago, I was contemplating this very question. Once I began to write my response, I realized it was far more challenging than I thought it would be and that it would demand a great deal more thinking on my part.

Also, my version of heaven on earth seemed to come in stages.

I’d like to share what eventually formed inside of me, in the hopes that it sparks something inside of you. What I would really love is if we could compare notes, and perhaps change our worlds together. I’ll leave that up to you.

Since mine turned out to be pretty long, I’m breaking it up into two parts, so please stay tuned for my next post as well.

Here then is my Heaven on Earth assignment (Part One):

My first thought/feeling is that you would be able to hug another person for as long as it took to feel balanced- that you could send love outward to them and receive love in from them- and all of this would be considered normal- that it would be so filling, rewarding, enlivening that everyone would want to do it- that it would not get confusing for anyone.

And

We could all say to each other, “I love you” and it would feel “right”- there wouldn’t be awkwardness or uncomfortable expectations attached- that saying it would be an extension of our hearts recognizing, appreciating, and connecting with each other.

And

We would feel free to give each other gifts- both large and small and it would happen spontaneously, from a center of love, not based only on acceptable events, but anytime- the gifts would not have to be equaled or paid back, they would feel good to receive and perhaps we could gain a sense of comfort with the concept that there will always be enough for everyone if we share from the heart.

And

We could cherish each other because we care and want to support and enrich each other’s lives, because we realize that it is just as important and necessary as when we were first born to be held and caressed and know we mean something to someone- that we would realize that touch fills our life with love, creates connection, expands our hearts, increases our immunity, focuses us outward, gives life and creates life.

And

We would know the beauty of giving from a calm, generous, loving heart- which raises up the giver as it supports the receiver, we’d know it is beautiful to be both giver and receiver, that it balances us, connects us- that we could give without thought of need of receiving, but just for the pure joy giving contains within itself- that we would grow in opening our hearts till it became our nature, our first action, our expanding from love.

And

We would see how forgiveness sets us free and invites others to do the same- we would open to know that everyone hurts, everyone lacks, everyone needs, everyone is in pain and that their unkind actions come from these lacks- from the lack of love, such that only love can fill their empty space- and forgiveness is born from love, the kind of love that recognizes the choice of sacrificing our own sense of pain to fill another with love- and surprisingly, in the process we are also healed.

There is so much more to say, so please join me for my next post.

Note: The entire Heaven On Earth assignment also appears in chapter three of my book, Little Buddha Book One, where one of the characters, Sam, is given this as an assignment to complete for his growth by Claire (Little Buddha).

This book is available in both print and
eBook versions on Amazon, along with the other books in the series.

Silence

When was the last time you found silence?

After a few minutes thought, I couldn’t remember my last time. You see, I believe silence is far more than the absence of noise. It is deeper and more profound. It is a gift beyond measure.

I can only hear silence if I give myself a chance to listen, to pause for my heart and my ears to be still. I need a space inside me to open for quiet, and for where everything seems to be at peace.

I wonder sometimes, do I understand silence?

Our world is so noisy with an incredible array of sources; cars, trucks, buses, planes, people talking, shouting, singing, birds, insects, wind and water, lawn mowers, clocks, chimes…the list is so long. And even if these all fall away, there is the sound of my own heart beating.

Inside me, I feel a strong need for silence. There is an indescribable value in it, beyond what I can explain with words. Perhaps you sense this too.

I wonder, how long could I sit and appreciate silence before it might become too much for me? I ask myself, what does ‘too much’ even mean? Do I need some form of noise in my life at all times?

When our children were young, they could watch TV, do their homework, and carry on a conversation, all at the same time. It seemed natural for them. Easy. I realized quickly I could never do that. It’s too much noise for me. I need breaks between periods of noise. I need a place to get away.

I wonder about this, and something comes to me.

It’s hard to explain, but I want the silence of ‘home’, which is the sound of heaven.

Silence, but not silent.

You may be asking, what does that mean, thinking that it makes no sense.

For me, it does.

Silent is the act of not speaking, while silence is a state of being, a place of peace, the essence of bliss, and yes, the sound of home, heaven.

There is movement, energy and love radiating in the silence.

This may sound appealing to you, and you may want to know how this kind of silence can be found.

The simplest answer I know is, it’s found inside of you.

My last post was about feeling loved. In it I shared that I have an intimate relationship with aspects of (god). That I invite (god) in and I ask (god) to be present and so (god) comes and sits with me, keeping me company, listening deeply to me, hearing me in a way unlike any other relationship.

It is here I find silence, in between our thoughts. It is here that bliss baths me.

It is here for all who choose it, no matter what name you choose to use for (god).

I’m reminded of the saying, ‘silence is golden’. It’s meaning for me does not come from the absence of noise in our busy world, but rather from the bliss of heaven, the magnificent place of peace that rests within each of us.

If you are searching for silence, consider going inside and asking for (god’s) presence to lead the way back to heaven.

Feeling Loved

I wonder, did anyone ever tell you that you would be loved, no matter what?

I suspect someone may have said this out loud to you, but did it turn out to be the truth?

When you did something ‘wrong’ and were punished for it, did you feel loved or was this the beginning of your concerns about the world?

It’s only in retrospect that I’ve been able to see the truth in this for me. And it led to several other conclusions. I understood in a new way, that the world is not safe. And I came to believe that I could not fully trust others. I wanted to, but I couldn’t.

We are all creatures who observe. Not only do we hear what others say, we see what they do. We watch as they role model for us and then, we decide how to act. But I wonder, is it really a decision or is it a reaction?

If we want to feel safe and loved, aren’t we likely to act as others want or expect us to behave? That certainly feels true to me.

What also feels true to me is that I use this same reactive thinking and apply it outwardly to the rest of the world in all my relationships, the work world and everywhere I go.

My beliefs are formed around the principle of whether I feel loved. Beneath the surface I worry about whether I am meeting others’ expectations of me. Am I doing enough for them to love me?

This is what has been modeled for me.

There is no blame here. I don’t resent those who placed this expectation on me, and I don’t blame myself for accepting their expectations. Neither of us know any better. We’re just passing along what we’ve been taught, from one generation to the next.

I pause for a moment to consider.

How is this to change? What enlightenment will come into my life to show me a better way?

I know an answer, one that works for me, and I want to share it with you, in the hopes that it might work for you too.

I’ve talked a lot about it, if you’ve been reading my posts.

It is my relationship with (god). I bracket the word (god) because I want to distance us from standard definitions. To me, (god) has many forms and feels. For me, there is abba (father), na’a (mother), yeshiwa (brother), lia (sister) and essence (the foundation of all heavenly bliss),

When I invite them in, they come. They do not force their way in, ever. They wait for my invitation, then come and share their wisdom, insight, and love with me.

They are reflections of (god), each a part of the divine for me.

Yours might be different. I honor that. We all see and feel the truth in different ways. What seems important to me is that (god) is available to each of us, waiting for our decision to reach out with an invitation.

As soon as I open and ask and prepare myself to be quiet and listen, (god) appears. We now have two-way dialogues whenever I ask. Wonderful, honest, personal conversations.

It is here I know I am loved. It is here there are no expectations, conditions, or requirements. No matter what I have done or left undone, I feel loved.

Please know this relationship is yours as well, whenever you decide to choose it.

NOTE: If you’d like to know more about my relationship with (god) and how you can have your own, please feel free to read my book, talking with (god), available on Amazon in print and eBook versions.

Deserving

Do I deserve to experience what I want in this life? Do you?

I don’t believe this is a simple or straightforward question. The concept of deserving is far too complicated for that.

I need a place to start.

The place I’m choosing has to do with whether I deserve to lose weight, but you can substitute any other objective or goal if you’d like.  

So, do I deserve to lose weight? Actually, the better question is do I believe I deserve to lose weight? If I can’t answer ‘yes’ to that question, it’s doubtful I’ll ever achieve what I’m setting out to accomplish.

I also need to focus on what the word ‘deserve’ means. Here’s what the Oxford dictionary definition says, “to do something or have or show qualities worthy of (reward or punishment)”.

So, to me it’s an action word requiring me to essentially earn a reward. I feel there is also an implication involved that I must give something up in exchange for the reward, in this case, most of the foods I enjoy.

And what I hear myself say is that if I can’t or don’t do this all the time, then I don’t deserve to lose weight.

What a terrible idea to hold on to.

I sense there is a part of me that is keeping track of everything, especially those things that relate directly to my stated goal. So, whenever this part observes me thinking that I ate some forbidden treat, the obvious conclusion is that I do not deserve to lose weight.

I believe the mere thought (belief) that I do not deserve to lose weight creates its own reality, despite any of the other positive things I have done.

I call this process, ‘putting on mental weight’. And I’ve noticed it results in also putting on physical weight.

Does this make any sense to you?

I wonder, might this same principle apply to other areas in my life? To my relationships, finances, mental health, work life or family concerns?

I wonder too, is there a part of me that has already established criteria based on some form of a ‘deserving model’ that I’ve built or accepted?

It takes only a moment to decide the answer to this question.

YES, clearly over the course of time I’ve created numerous models that rest firmly under the surface of my life. I’m sure it would be enlightening if I understood how they were formed, but I’ve learned from experience that to uncover them would be time consuming and ultimately not worth the investment.

What seems far more important is what I choose to do right now, which leads me back to my original question about deserving. Do I or don’t I deserve to lose weight (or anything else in life)? After a few moments, a one word answer comes to me…sometimes.

That’s a terrible answer and it leaves me hanging.

Fortunately, I hear another voice inside me. It is insistent, yet gentle and commands my attention, drawing me in. It is Lia, a part of god who speaks to me in an ethereal feminine voice, and she has come to tell me the truth.

“You are a radiant being filled with love and light. This is your true nature. You can accept what the world tells you, if you choose, but nothing it says will change this fundamental truth. There is no such thing as deserving or not deserving. It is merely an arbitrary decision, a reflection of what the world views as real. If you decide to abide by what the world tells you, you will suffer needlessly. I encourage you to release all thoughts and beliefs that govern or limit your decisions and grant yourself the freedom to experience your life fully. This is why you came here, to live a full life, unhindered by self-limitations and with all things open to you.”

After a pause, Lia added these words, “Whether it is your weight, or any other aspect of your life, you may experience it in any way that you choose.”

I sat, blown away by the grace of this.

Ideas

Here’s a mystery for you to consider.

Where do ideas come from?

Sometimes I am overwhelmed with the number of ideas that come to me. Far more arrive than I feel I can actually accomplish, despite wanting them all to become real.

At other times, no single idea stands out. There is just a swirl of activity inside me, but no clarity whatsoever.

It’s hard to make sense of this phenomenon.

Recently I was experiencing a wave of wonderful ideas and wondering what to do with them all. I found it very challenging to prioritize them or organize them in any meaningful way.

Maybe there are times when this happens to you too.

As usual I decided to ask my divine guide, Lia (which stands for Love In Action), a part of god who speaks to me in an ethereal feminine voice, to help me understand what was happening.

She told me to think of ‘ideas’ as menu choices and to choose the one (or ones) that most appeal to me. The ones that deeply absorb me or that I feel drawn to create or simply find the most joy in.

She went on to say that it was very important to realize that I might feel a sense of obligation or stress or some other negative emotion during the process of bringing an idea to life. She counseled me to release any idea that produced these feelings.

I guess Lia felt it would be helpful to provide an example that would stand out for me, and she did.

She said it would be like my going to a delightful restaurant and ordering liver and onions, which I can’t stand, and forcing myself to eat it. Ugh! Point taken.

Lia went on to say that all of the ideas I receive are flowing ‘to me and through me’ to have a voice in the world, if I choose to give them one. And before I could respond, she added, that if I chose not to act on any of the ideas, they would travel on and find a ‘home’ elsewhere. No worries.

This prompted a question in my mind about the nature of ideas.

“So, all these ideas are on a journey of their own, headed into reality, but not necessarily by or through me?”

Lia responded, “Yes, ideas have a life of their own and will seek out those that wish to bring them to into reality. Remember, even though you don’t like liver and onions, someone else thinks it’s a wonderful meal.”

This put an entirely different spin on things for me. I’d been feeling pressure to give every idea that came my way a life. And here was Lia telling me that it was not necessary, nor even beneficial for me to feel this way.

She encouraged me to consider how often it happens that the same movie or book themes take center stage or that the same invention happens, but in different countries across the globe.

Lia explained that ideas are energy in movement. They seek out those that are likely to be receptive, sometimes appearing once and other times coming back repeatedly.

I confessed that, at times, I feel so limited and can only help a few ideas become realized.

Lia responded by saying, “This is not true, you are not limited, but if it feels true for you, it becomes true for you. I encourage you to allow yourself the emotional freedom to give life to what moves you with joy and release anything that does not come from joy. When you use this principle as your barometer, all is well.”

Good Commands

There seems to be a battle going on inside of me and perhaps this happens to you as well.

It seems to center around the role of my ego, which spends a great deal of time feeling conflicted. On the one hand it wants to expand and grow larger and on the other hand, it wants and needs to protect what it has created.

As it expands, its defensible area requiring protection grows, creating more pressure. In effect, by its very nature, it is making its life (my life) more challenging with each expansion, no matter how small the bite.

It feels like a losing proposition, and I wonder how I will ever gain any sense of peace, if this continues?

I want peace in my life. I want to feel whole and complete and release any need to protect myself from everything around me.

I imagine you may feel the same way and that you too probably want to feel a sense of freedom.

I recognize I need help and I know where I need to go for it.

So, I ask my divine guide, Lia (which stands for Love In Action), a part of god who speaks to me in an ethereal feminine voice, for her counsel.

Her presence warms me immediately. I know she will help me find a clear path, so I begin to calm and slow my breathing.

She tells me it is up to me to make decisions about my way forward.

I want to know more, so she offers me this advice.

“Nothing happens in your life without you choosing it. It is important to remember that ‘choosing’ is a ‘command’ word to your whole being (essence), therefore, as you use it, you must apply it to all parts of you, including and especially, your ego.”

Lia tells me that her use of the word, ‘must’, is not meant as a requirement, but rather is used to note what I ‘must’ do, if I want to experience a certain outcome.

As usual, I need some clarification, so Lia continues, “What I am saying is that, if you believe and desire to feel whole, complete, happy, joyful, or any other feeling, you must ‘command’ (choose) that this belief is your reality.”

She knew I still needed more, and went on, “You do this all the time, as with so many other decisions and it becomes who you are, no longer who you want to be.”

She asked me if this made sense to me.

I responded, “Yes, and it would seem that this is what affirmations do, when they are honest, true and believable commands, from my inner to my outer self.”

“Exactly,” Lia agreed, “as you speak it (a choice which is commanded by you), so it shall be (what you accept into your life and experience in the world).”

“It is within this practice that all things come forth in your life. Without any conscious commands, nothing happens. You remain motionless, which allows all your defaults to appear and guide your direction.”

I began to understand what she was really saying. I am the maker of my life. Because I have so many programs running in the background, my life can run on autopilot.

I have enough experience with this to know it does not create the life I desire, so it is up to me to consciously choose what to command in my life.

This makes me fully responsible for the life I experience and as difficult as that may sound, it is exactly the way I want it to be.

I am grateful for her presence in my life and tell her so.

No Missing Pieces

Do you feel as though you are missing something in your life, that there are pieces of you that you need in order to make your life work?

And perhaps you are wondering how you are ever going to be at peace within yourself?

There are periods in my life where these questions have confused me and circled me and found a home inside of me.

One of these periods happened this morning. But unlike my past, I did something rare and incredibly worthwhile.

I asked for help.

I asked my divine guide, Lia (which stands for Love In Action), a part of god who speaks to me in an ethereal feminine voice.

She told me I was trying too hard, which was no doubt true. It’s what I usually do, especially when I can’t seem to find an answer that fits.

Lia said to me, “A shift that would help you is to think of yourself as ALREADY WHOLE and that nothing you can ever do will make you MORE whole.”

What a stunning statement, if I could find a way to believe it. I imagined the amazing changes that could make in my life.

Already whole. Wow, does that take the pressure off!

I told her that sounded wonderful, but from my current mindset, I asked how could I come to believe it and accept it as my truth?

There was a moment of silence. I knew what this meant. It was time to clear my mind of distractions. I don’t know about you, but I cannot hear anything from the outside, if my inner dialogue is too loud. So, I paused and waited.

Lia felt me slow into stillness and spoke again, “As always, you CHOOSE it as your reality and once chosen, you repeat this (thought/feeling) as your reality. You do this over and over again.”

She waited a moment, then continued, “I know you tend to think there has to be some bigger, more extravagant concept or practice, but there isn’t. It is this simple. Try to remember, the best things in life are all simple.”

Being a slow learner sometimes I wanted to paraphrase what she’d said to me, to ensure I really understood. “So, I CHOOSE to tell myself I am WHOLE already and once I accept this and live this truth, I feel whole, and this changes me?”

A simple one word reply, “Yes.”

“But” I said, “I find this choice difficult to make when I don’t believe it. How can I when there feels like there are missing pieces to me?”

Clearly, I needed reinforcement, which is what I received as Lia spoke again, “Missing pieces are figments, mental mirages, but not the truth. You are seeing/observing the ‘outer’ layer only. It is your ‘inner’ layer that is your truth and where you are whole.”

I questioned, “So, I have to look deeper inside?”

She told me, “Yes” and I asked another question, “But what about my outside?”

Lia allowed me to settle down, sensing my inability to fully grasp what she was saying to me.

“Your conscious choices define your experience of everything in this world, both inner and outer. Your inner world already knows this and has used this power to create your magnificent life. Your outer layer, that which sees, but fears the world, needs to know that there are no real missing pieces and that you are already truly and completely whole. This happens through your ‘choosing’ to see the truth. The proof you seek happens every time you make this choice and believe the results. It really is that simple.”

I sit back and try to absorb this message to me, and it becomes clear, I will only know the truth if I give myself to this simplicity.