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Am I A Victim

Am I a victim or do I have a choice?

That may seem like a simple question, but I don’t think it is, and here’s why.

It feels to me that the world tries to fill our heads with strong opinions about this and reinforces the whole idea of victimhood. So much so that it may be our first reaction. We simply accept ourselves as the victims of our circumstances.

When I sit back for a moment, I realize this may even be our default setting, an immediate prescribed reaction to events we encounter.

I wonder, how can this possibly benefit us?

My first thought is, it’s an easy escape. We don’t have to be held accountable and there’s usually someone else to blame. We don’t have to take any responsibility or even make changes to fix things.

We’re simply off the hook. After all, we’re the victim, aren’t we?

This whole thought process bothers me to my core. I understand why we might gravitate to this way of thinking, but to me no one is served by it. Not really.

I do not believe I came here to this earth to be a powerless victim of my own thinking or because of someone else’s actions.

Of course, I realize there are things outside my control. Lots of them. And many of them create situations I’d rather not experience. But that doesn’t mean I am powerless.

In fact, once it becomes obvious to me that I’m falling into the grips of victimhood, that’s the time for conscious decision making.

This starts with a giant step back and some deep breathing.

I need to take a wide view of the situation and truly consider all of the choices available to me.

I’m sure there are many ways to evaluate before choosing a path forward and everyone ought to use the one that offers them the best outcome- the one that works to achieve their ultimate benefit.

The question may be- how?

I have a suggestion you might want to consider.

Hang on, because it comes from a surprising place. As some of you know, I have certain recollections about heaven. I remember things and one of them is the ceremony that centered around me before I came to earth. During the ceremony I created a framework, a basic plan of things I wanted to experience. I think of it as my spiritual DNA. It remains flexible throughout my earth life, so I am able to make any changes I desire.

When I was constructing this basic plan, I chose to live in the world and be impacted by my cultural training, BUT I also chose to retain the ability to choose what best served me, despite what my culture believed.

In a way it doesn’t really matter if you decide to believe me about remembering heaven, because we all end up in this same place having to decide what path best suits us.

What I am suggesting is that we do not have to accept the ‘victim’ role. It is an option, not a requirement. It’s a choice.

We can acknowledge its presence, but give ourselves permission to make a better choice, one that serves our immediate and long-term aims.

I feel all decisions are open to me. I may not always like the immediate outcomes, but I do still have a choice, and I believe that it is always possible to find a wonderful path forward.

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talking with (god) retreat

I have two questions for you. Both are very important.

The first question is, are you ready for a life changing experience and the second is, would you like to discover answers to your biggest questions in life?

These are not idle questions. They are fundamental and potentially life altering, depending on how you answer them.

I am offering a retreat, the details of which appear later in the post, but for right now I want to share a few important things with you.

I have been having my own direct, intimate, personal conversations with spirit, divine, creator, or whatever name I choose for (god) at the time. After reading Neale Donald Walsch’s book, Conversations With God, I thought to myself, if he can talk with god and receive answers, so can I.

So, for the last 27 years I’ve been having my own talks with (god) and have received incredibly profound answers to my most challenging questions. During all that time, I’ve never experienced even one harsh word from god. The voice I hear is filled with love and compassion and as long as I quiet the noise inside my head, I hear answers to everything I ask. I need to point out, they are often not the answers I expected, but are always the answers I need.

If this sounds too fantastic to you and you want to stop reading, I’ll understand.

But if you’d like a deeper connection with god (or whatever name you use), please keep reading.

I am comfortable promising, that if you attend, you will be guided toward some insights you seek and feel a profound sense of love, as you work through the issues that challenge or possibly confuse you. This retreat will offer you opportunities to share your experiences with others, at your comfort level, and in a beautiful loving sacred space. Each attendee will have the freedom to explore their journey through journaling, conversations, meditation, music, art, walking and relaxation.

If this sounds appealing to you, I invite you to join us. The talking with god retreat will be held from Friday, December 13, 2024 (6:30pm registration) through Sunday, December 15, 2024 (closing at 11:30am) and will be held at the Dominican Retreat Center at 1945 Union Street, Niskayuna, New York 12309.

The cost is $295, which includes two-nights’ accommodations, four nourishing meals and a gift copy of my book, talking with (god) to the first thirty participants to register.

To register, please contact me (Rob H Geyer) at rhgeyer@gmail.com or call my cell phone (518) 469-8676.

I believe this is one retreat you will not want to miss.

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Your True Self Has No Limits

I have a confession to make. I used to believe in limits.

Others told me they knew what they were so why wouldn’t I believe them? Those who told me said that they loved me and wanted the best for me. It never occurred to me that they wouldn’t tell me the truth.

I’ve come to understand, we all do our best based on what we’ve accepted as the truth. Rarely does someone who cares about me intentionally steer me wrong. Their actions are based on what they believe to be true, whether it is or not.

Knowing this, it’s important for me to explore and discover for myself.

One day I was told it is very difficult for one person to make a real difference in this world. I suppose they were trying to keep me from reaching too far and getting hurt.

They told me we’re just too small and that we have to be reasonable about our expectations. They allowed that we could have an impact on the small stage that surrounds us, but not on the world at large.

Perhaps you’ve been told this too.

At some point I released this kind of thinking. I came to believe it is up to each of us to decide the value and reliability of this idea.

Regardless of the number of times I heard this repeated, something did not seem quite right to me about it. Why couldn’t I connect meaningfully beyond my small group?

Did others think I would feel pain if I failed? Did they think that perhaps I did not have anything worthwhile to say or that others would not want to hear it?

Maybe they did not want me to break away from them for fear they might need to change too.

I cannot know what reasons others have, but I feel I owe it to myself to see beyond my small world.

I want to tell you a few things, not to make myself look bigger, but so you can see yourself as bigger.

I am like you. I have certain talents and dreams, fears and illusions, hopes and aims. I don’t feel there is anything unique about me that favors my succeeding where you might not. I believe you are way bigger than anyone has ever told you.

You may be wondering- how can I say that?

I say it because I believe it to be so. We all have radiance and brilliance built in. We’ve had it since we arrived here at birth. It came with us and is just waiting to come forth.

One day I decided to step out of my small shell and engage my heart fully. I decided I would create a website and write posts (like this one) as a means of inviting others along on my journey. Thanks to Cheri, one of my dear friends, this site became a reality. Since beginning, almost 500 people decided there was enough value in my words to join me. And thousands have viewed my site and connected with me, representing 98 different countries in the world. Folks from thousands of miles away wanted this connection. Of course, I have no idea how my thoughts and words have influenced them, but that is not up to me. My part is to live my true self and offer it to the world.

One day, Cheri and I decided to push out further into the world. I spent a few dollars and boosted a series of posts for a month on Facebook and Instagram. We were told that a reasonable expectation for a viewing audience would be approximately five to ten thousand people. After 28 days, 1.6 million people had viewed them. Mind-boggling!

Had I listened to what others had told me or to my small self, believing I could not have an impact on the world, none of this would have happened.

Please understand, the incredible value I find in these two examples is that they represent the extraordinary reach each one of us has. I hope to reinforce you own belief that YOU are capable of making a difference in this world. It doesn’t matter if it’s one person or a hundred thousand people.

If you decide to break out and share your radiant true self with the world, please let me know. And remember, I believe in you.

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Nothing For Granted

I’ve been thinking about how often I seem to take things for granted. Maybe this happens to you too.

I began wondering why. Could it be that my mind is just too busy with other things or is there something deeper going on?

There was a somewhat melancholy feeling running through me and words started flowing onto a page in my journal. I thought I’d share them with you, so that maybe together we could remind ourselves to take nothing for granted.

Nothing For Granted

Life is precious,

Sometimes staying in one place,

Sometimes leaping head.

I want to remember it all.

I wonder to myself about things,

About moments I experience,

What if this were my last hug,

The last spoke word I’ll ever hear,

What if this were my last sunset,

Last long soothing shower I’ll ever have,

Last delicious meal I’ll eat,

Or song I’ll hear,

Or walk I’ll take,

What if it’s the last firefly I’ll see light up

On a hot summer night,

Last starlit sky,

Last new spring green explosion of leaves I’ll see,

Or the last brilliant colorful autumn extravaganza,

What if it’s the last time I’ll feel the warmth of a cozy blanket,

Or the sunshine on my face,

What if this was the last time I’ll feel my wife’s lips against mine,

Would it change what it means to me

To be alive,

Would I treasure it,

Savor it,

Breath into it.

Would I try to hold onto it for dear life.

I wonder,

What do I want my life to be like.

So,

I sit with all of this

And let it wash over me

And I know what I want,

I want everything

To mean something to me,

Every sting,

Every fall and rise,

Every illusive dream,

Hurt, hope, every breath,

Every face and heart connection,

I want the whole collection of life,

Because it all matters.

And what I want most

Is to feel alive

And connected

And

I want to take nothing for granted,

Ever

I am curious what things you’d put on your list. Maybe you are too.

Be well.

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Act of Kindness- Balloons

This is a story that I created for a contest submission about an act of kindness as told from a different perspective than my own. The part I played is true. I was the balloon man. The rest of the story is told from a small boy, Joey, and his mother, Janice’s perspective. The essence of the contest was to perhaps inspire the reader to perform their own act(s) of kindness. There part is up to you.

Joey looked up into his mother’s eyes and asked the question he’d been carrying around for a while.

“Mommy, why did this happen to me?”

She noticed the start of tears forming in the corners of his eyes, tried to smile at him and did her best to answer.

“I don’t know, honey. Sometimes there aren’t good answers for why things happen to one person and not to another.”

“Is this hard for you, sweetie?”

“Kind of,” he responded, clearing away the tears as they ran down his cheeks.

She was awed by his gently courage and sat next to him remembering the moment in the doctor’s office when the word was first spoken. Cancer.

From then on, it was a blur for her. She was so relieved that Daniel, her husband, was there to pay attention. It’s not that she didn’t want to know, especially since she’d be the one taking care of Joey, since Daniel had to leave again. He’d gotten his orders and had to report soon. Even in a situation like this, wars went on.

“Mommy,” Joey said, interrupting her thoughts, “How long will I be in the hospital this time?”

“Oh, Joey, I’m sorry but I don’t know, The doctors hope it will be shorter than last time, but they’re not sure yet.”

***

After several weeks went by Joey was released from the hospital. His mom, Janice, held his next appointment card in her hand and they left unsteadily for home.

***

“When do we go to Dr. Richard’s office?”, Joey asked.

“We leave in fifteen minutes. Can you go find your stuffed dog, Patches, so we’ll be ready to leave?”

Janice noticed how Joey held his body, hunched forward slightly with his eyes staring down at the floor.

“Are you feeling upset honey?”, she asked, already anxious about his answer.

“A little”, he said, trying to hide the fear he felt inside. Joey smiled crookedly at his mom and turned to look for Patches.

As they headed to the car, Joey tipped his head up and asked, “Mommy, could we do something special after the doctor?”

His eyes pleaded for her to say ‘yes’.

Janice tried to keep from crying, knowing how worrisome this appointment was from both of them, after all the test results were supposed to be in.

She’d promised to call Daniel as soon as they left the doctor’s office, but she wanted to give Joey something to look forward to, if such a thing was possible.

“I hope so, sweetie”, she finally responded.

***

Janice parked the car, helped Joey out of his seat and walked slowly up the staircase and into the medical building. They rounded a corner in the hallway and Joey shrieked with excitement.

“Balloons, Mommy! Can I have one? I really want one, please Mommy?”

The man holding the string of balloons turned toward Joey and smiled.

Janice knelt down next to Joey to be closer to him and said, “Honey, those aren’t our balloons”, She’d hoped to divert his attention and continue to their doctor’s office for his appointment.

Instead of continuing to walk in the opposite direction, the man turned and approached Joey and Janice. He noticed how Joey’s face brightened and how the light in his eyes radiated with the simple pleasure of seeing the balloons, and the possibility of having one for himself.

The man held out the bouquet of balloons and asked, “Which one would you like, if it’s okay with your mom?”

The man held Janice’s eyes, assuring her that he wanted Joey to have his pick.

“The blue one, no, the purple one, oh, I don’t know, they’re all so beautiful”, Joey answered, with unsuppressed joy.

The man smiled and pulled on two strings, releasing them from the bunch and held them out to Joey.

“Let’s make this easy”, the man said, “how about both?”

Joey screamed with delight, took the balloons, then looked at his mom, silently asking for her permission.

Overcome by this simple act of kindness, Janice nodded to her son and quietly thanked the man.

“You have no idea what this means to both of us”, she said.

“I think I do”, the man responded knowingly.

He turned, walked down the hall and entered a Pediatric Doctor’s office where he joyfully released the rest of his bouquet.

End

Note: This was one of my sixty-three intentional acts of kindness that took almost a month to complete. I did this in appreciation for my sixty-third birthday.

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Time to Reconsider

I have many teachers in my life, some exist in proximity to me, others are farther away. Each of them reminds me of things I want to learn to release or to be at peace with. They are predominantly things that irritate, annoy or upset me.

I guess by now I ought to be used to this, but I’m not.

If I am not careful, I get sucked into their orbit and react in kind. This does not serve me.

To be at peace, I know I need to release any attachment to my version of what is ‘right’. I wonder to myself, how is this done?

At first glance, I’m tempted to accept and embrace what my culture has taught me, which is that I deserve to feel the way I do, about anything. If I can find someone who shares my feelings or who otherwise supports my right to feel the way I do, I have no incentive to make any changes, despite the amount of conflict and internal suffering I experience.

Feeling justified is an end unto itself and it halts all other thoughts and holds me in place.

The other thing it does is it creates a host of troublesome feelings inside me and ultimately keeps me from any sense of peace or freedom.

It’s too high a price to pay.

My feelings create a crack in the doorway, a place where some light comes in. And when the light hits my feelings, I sense there is the possibility for change.

Perhaps my view of the world is wrong. Perhaps there’s another way to view my situation that would be better for me. Perhaps I don’t have to stay in the rut created by constant reinforcement.

This feels like good news to me. I try to open my eyes and heart further. What change could I make that would allow my life to be more peaceful, contented, even joyful?

The first thing that occurs to me is that I could remind myself that there are numerous ways to live in this world. This translates as, my way may not be the best or only way and others’ views might make more sense.

It takes some inner strength to say this out loud to myself. For whatever reason, it’s challenging for me to think I have it wrong, but what a wonderful opportunity it is for me to entertain this idea.

This whole concept is one of suspended belief and judgement. A sort of time out or pause, so that I can reconsider what I believe.

It’s a mind opening invitation I can give myself.

If I sit back and think about any given situation from a neutral position, maybe I’ll see a bigger picture, one that may offer me a wider view and provide space to see if what I believe still rings true.

It feels like a wise choice to make and I’m going to give it a try.

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What If Today…

I want to share something that I wrote for a dear friend of mine recently. It was intended to provide a spark to ignite a different way of viewing life. It was something that I needed. As with all of my posts, the thoughts and words arrive for me and then moved outward into the world.

The post is a dream in a way. Of a richer life. And of course, as it is in all cases, it depends on what we choose. I wonder to myself what will I choose, I wonder too, what will you choose?

What if today…

What if today…I choose to believe…to truly accept and embrace…that every single thing that happens to me is here to benefit me. What if I choose to see beyond appearances and all of the things that blind me. What if I give myself permission to believe that I am loved and cared for and know that everything I experience in my life is there to offer me something of value. That no matter what the world tells me, I can choose my own path. What if I embrace that my heart and spirit are the ones that set me free.

What if today I release any need to control the uncontrollable. What if I spruce up my ability to yield and let go of all the things that weigh me down…to set them aside and feel the precious liberation and the expansive freedom that choice creates.

What if today I collect all the most lovable parts of me and hug them and ask them to spread their joy throughout my body…my life.

What if today I allow every sorrow, pain, challenge, and concern to take the day off…to rest…what if I placed them all gently in the ocean of bliss that is my true home, where they can be washed clean.

What if, for one day, I give up needing to be in charge of anything and allow life to flow gently through me.

What if today…I breathe in peace and breathe out love.

What if today…is that day.

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A More Harmonious Way

I have a strong sense there is another way for me to live in this world, a more harmonious way.

I see more clearly now that I have been living from a sense of emptiness, led by an inner desire to fill myself up, to make myself whole.

I have accepted teachings that fostered this view, that preached lack and limit and that I am not enough…ever…and that I need what others have in order to be happy.

No amount of things others possess will make me whole.

When I live according to emptiness, with a need and desire to fill myself up, I have already chosen the long path.

When I see…feel…and know that I am already full…that every thing of value is already inside of me…it is then that my fullness becomes a sacred emptiness.

When I sit, without need for what others have, knowing they can not give me anything I don’t already possess…when I am in this place…I reveal my oneness, my connection to the divine, my fullness.

This is where joy lives.

I open to seeing that joy lives in all things when it lives in me first.

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I Know Who I Am

I want to share this with you. It’s sort of a poetic approach to releasing strong feelings that kept circling inside of me. I am grateful that I accepted this style of outlet and invite you to come along on a part of my journey. It may even stimulate you to walk a different path of your own.

This is called…I Know Who I Am…

I admit it…I feel some rage inside of me

From an early age…I knew I was not a number…or a letter…no matter what society…or schools said

And I refuse to be defined…in this way

Defined by a social security number or bank account balance

Or my GPA or retirement fund or my house’s worth

The part of me that has value…is far beyond any number or letter

Beyond my car’s trade in amount or my weight or my pledge at church

I am more than my…driver’s license number or the calories I eat or the number of friends I have…or any number or letter that attempts to limit me or contain me or define me

Ever since my beginning…others have chosen to judge me or control me or place me in a box…to identify me

I didn’t know any better…so I let them

I abided by their rules…submitted to their concepts…lived according to their choices

That’s where all of my rage comes from…from a deep place where conformity is required

Where the grades were assigned to me…limiting my growth and expansion

I’ve always carried an inner knowing that these attempts would ultimately fail

That I would break free…somehow…some way…some day

Because I am not only…earth’s child…I am heaven’s child too

Inside of me there exists…limitless possibilities…endless potential…and dreams wanting to be experienced

It’s up to me what I choose to believe…no one else gets a say…even if they think they do

I am a part of the divine…endowed with treasure…born into this world…open for exploration

I am not limited by other’s choices

I am not their number

I am my own heart and spirit

Looking inside…I find a place of peace…where rage’s fire is quenched

I can give back what others have placed upon me

They can keep it if they want it…but I can have my own peace

I can embrace…the truth of who I am…for I am a drop of the ocean of bliss that is heaven

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Tipping Point

Are you on your right path?

It’s a really important question and one I’ve been asking myself, especially recently.

I just returned from six weeks of vacation and have been struck by how wonderful it felt to have so few obligations or commitments.

It made me quite sensitive to my inner feelings and I discovered a strong desire to reevaluate my choices.

I sensed a depth to these feelings that surprised me, and I noticed a need to change some of my actions. I felt I could no longer continue doing things because it was my pattern of behavior. Rather, I needed to feel that what I chose to do was a part of my right path.

In many ways this felt intimidating to me, and I felt shaken out of my normal routines.

Have you ever experienced this? Have you experienced that out of seemingly nowhere you’re guided to reconsider your thoughts and actions?

I felt a strong realignment surging through me, but initially I did not understand what it meant or how it would change me.

I had to release my ‘need’ to understand and just sit with my feeling until I arrived at a point of knowing.

This is a very uncomfortable thing to do and very disorienting.

However, I find life shifts like this to be accompanied by bright light around the edges, offering hope in the distance.

A picture did finally appear and a fuller understanding of what all of this means. If you are experiencing this, or you have in the past, or if you do in the future, please consider being open to sitting with your feelings until the light appears. I believe it arrives to expand our lives or to clarify them in beautiful ways.

For me, I realized the sense of oppression I placed upon myself by requiring certain actions in my life. I’ve always lived with the habit of having to expand and broaden myself. This is not a ‘bad’ thing unless it reaches a tipping point. That’s the fine line between where an action, thought, dream, desire, or practice shifts from sunshine to darkness.

Perhaps you’ve experienced where there is a shift that occurs between owning a thing to being owned by a thing. For instance, you think you are enjoying living in your house then everything seems to go wrong all at once and you find yourself feeling owned by your home.

It’s not just homes that have this power. Everything does, depending on your outlook and choices.

I discovered that I made a number of decisions which have created tipping points. One of these is demanding and requiring myself to write two posts EVERY week. What began as a joyful expression shifted into writing constantly under a deadline, sapping some of the joy from the experience.

Please understand this has not impacted my desire to be of service by sharing what feels important to me to pass along.

What it has done is to make me consciously aware that I need to write when I am inspired, rather than according to a strictly keep schedule.

Realizing this has opened an important part of me and has offered a sense of peace and freedom.  I realize that adhering to my designed schedule is a source of discomfort that I’ve been feeling and has resulted in a hesitancy to make any changes in my life pattern, even though it’s the right move for me.

So, what does all of this mean?

It means I choose to continue writing posts because I love to be able to express my feelings and thoughts, but…I’ll be writing them when I feel inspired, rather than according to my originally scheduled twice a week pattern. They will come when their time is right.

I hope you will stay tuned and continue reading them as they appear.

I hope even more that you make decisions in your life which are true for you and keep you on your right path.

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Staying In Your Own Lane

While away on a break from writing original posts I thought I’d share some of my favorites with you from the past three and a half years. In mid-March I’ll return with more original posts. Until then, please enjoy these.

It’s interesting to me how various phrases come into our working vocabulary. One I’ve recently heard is the phrase, ‘stay in your own lane’, by which the person generally means, mind your own business, and stop interfering in mine.

There can be especially troublesome moments, at work and in other settings, when someone who has an insufficient knowledge or ability to handle things, attempts to interject themselves in tasks that are not assigned to them. Although it’s difficult to redirect these folks, it’s often necessary in order to inform them that you have things covered and it’s your job, not theirs.

Overstepping is particularly challenging when the person refuses to stop, either by their intentional or unintentional actions and it may require supervisory intervention.

Why all this focus on ‘staying in your own lane’?

The answer is, because I’ve been having conversations with Lia, an ethereal feminine voice of god who has been offering me wisdom and guidance about this very subject, but from an entirely different direction.

How so, you may ask?

It all started with a conversation about the challenges I felt about being able to stay connected to the divine. What I want most in my life is to feel a direct, unwavering, deep connection with the divine, so that the whole of my life revolves around it.

What I discover on a daily basis is that there are numerous distractions that push or force or entice me away from this straight line. There are so many of them that I easily get caught up in them and lose my focus. Although I tell myself that they are worth my attention, what really happens is that they sap my strength and dissipate my power, which makes it difficult and near impossible to maintain my true aim, union with the divine.

I cannot stay in my own desired lane.

No outside force is doing this to me. They may try, but because I have free will, whatever happens is either because I allow it, or I choose it.

Of course, I turned to Lia and asked for her guidance. Here is what she told me.

“Until you practice ‘staying in your own lane’ (in my case, paying attention to my most important aim of deeply connecting with the divine), you think it is not possible, but as you practice, you see that it is possible. When a distraction arrives (anything I initially perceive as not heading me toward the divine), the first and most essential step is to take notice of its arrival. Spend a moment truly seeing it for what it is, an opportunity to teach you something valuable. Allow it to offer you its insight, thank it, then move back into your lane.”

I wondered if there was more. There was.

Lia continued, “Distractions are not permanent, but rather temporary events, guideposts to help redirect you with a greater awareness, and improve your focus.”

That made sense to me, especially if after some practice, it became a relatively quick process for me. If I could make the choice to acknowledge them, see their value and release them, I would easily be able to return to my straight path and then stay in my lane.

I expressed a deep sense of gratitude to Lia for sharing these valuable insights with me and I hope they are of worth to you as well.

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Closets

While away on a break from writing original posts I thought I’d share some of my favorites with you from the past three and a half years. In mid-March I’ll return with more original posts. Until then, please enjoy these.

I believe this is the first post that I have written that forced itself out of me. The topic kept coming back and despite the fact that I resisted it, it would not be denied.

Why? What was I trying to avoid? I wasn’t sure but I knew I had to explore it.

Have there been times in your life when you knew something important was about to happen, but there was an element of concern in your mind? Maybe I ought to be clearer, I don’t mean ‘concern’, but straight up ‘fear’.

That’s the sense I had when the topic, ‘closets’, came into view.

The first thought I had was simple enough. After all we have lots of closets in our house, most of them pretty full. Some have clothes, shoes, boot, jackets, hats, and other articles of clothing. Others have towels, sheets, our vacuum, extra Kleenex and toilet paper, and a host of miscellaneous things.

Okay, no big deal there.

I did notice that closets are places to hide things you don’t want to see out in the open, because they would be too messy or take up too much space you need for other things.

This observation seemed to offer a clue, but the picture still wasn’t clear.

I remembered a saying about closets, that they are a place to store your skeletons. I checked out Wikipedia and discovered the saying came from 19th century England and was an idiom used to describe an undisclosed fact about someone which, if revealed, would damage perceptions of the person.

So, now I’m getting closer. Closets are an important hiding place for what you don’t want others to know about you. They house secrets and hide what we might describe as shameful things. I wondered; don’t we all have things we hope never see the light of day? Things we’ve thought or done that if others knew, would alter their opinions of us?

That’s closer to my fear about not wanting to write this post, but not the end point yet.

It only took a second longer to realize that closets have a much more significant reference point…’coming out of the closet’, where an individual reveals their sexuality, rather than hiding it. For those brave people who take this extraordinary step in their lives, I want to say, bravo to you.

Allowing others in society to dictate who a person can or cannot be through the use of shame, denial, stigma, humiliation, or any other form of control, devalues all humanity, especially those who refuse to continue hiding who they really are.

Unfortunately, many feel a strong sense of need to adhere to a set of religious beliefs that have been taught to them. Beliefs that are fear based rather than love based.

I fully realize this is an emotionally charged topic and is often seen as divisive, with only polar views, so that any stand I voice may be both popular and unpopular.

Okay, now it’s obvious to me why I wanted to resist this post.

But I have to take a stand.

I believe in love. Love opens, expands, embraces, forgives, accepts, is compassionate, caring and, valuing. It is the foundation of everything.

I also believe that the only role that fear plays is to be a messenger, a guide, a redirection from itself back to a state of love. Fear is meant to be temporary. Love is meant to be permanent.

I stand with all those who believe in love and encourage all those who believe in fear to use it to return to love. Everything is out in the open in love and nothing is hidden, nor does it need to be. I believe we all are meant to be who we are in this life. We have free will for this very purpose and it is not up to anyone to control another’s view of their life. I believe love offers us all a chance to embrace our lives in the ways we choose.

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A More Complete Diet Plan

While away on a break from writing original posts I thought I’d share some of my favorites with you from the past three and a half years. In mid-March I’ll return with more original posts. Until then, please enjoy these.

It certainly seems to me that there is no agreement about the best or perfect diet plan to follow. A casual glance reveals an incredible variety of approaches including ketogenic, Mediterranean, low-carb, Veganism, Carnivore and Paleolithic. I could easily name ten more I noticed during thirty seconds of research.

If you factor in specific issues and concerns, the complexity multiplies. We face so many varying physical challenges; diabetes, heart disease, dementia, cancer, allergies and so many more, all calling for modifications to any plan we choose.

It can easily become mind-boggling.

In wondering where to turn for wise counsel we seek out experts. Unfortunately for us, there are experts for every conceivable diet plan. Each has a set of facts to support their position, making it all but impossible to know what path to take.

Adding to this we may find that it is difficult to stick with whatever we do choose. Some diet plans are too restrictive or complicated or cut out all of the foods we like making it very difficult to adhere to them.

I am not a professional in the field nor would that ever be a claim I would make. It is always advisable to discuss all of your specific issues with a qualified medical professional.

What I am is a person who generates a lot of questions. I have found throughout my life that asking good questions prompts me into action, and action is what drives me forward. I am someone who tries to think into and out of issues so that I can offer perhaps a broad range of considerations which might be helpful to you.

For me, the primary question to ask before choosing any path is, ‘why’? What do you personally hope to experience? Weight loss, a fuller life, improve specific aspects of your health or simply look and feel better? Through my personal experience and that of others I know, I have come to realize that without answering the question, ‘why?’, it’s very difficult to apply any plan selected.

I sense it is also critical to take into consideration each aspect of myself; physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. If I am missing any one of these, I’m unlikely to experience success.

Before I choose a diet plan (or any other important decision) I spend time having an inner dialogue and allowing my physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual selves to voice their concerns and desires. This may sound unusual to you, but sitting back and focusing on each voice provides an opportunity to flesh out my ‘why’ and any challenges which might make it harder for me to succeed.

It also feels important to me to define what ‘success’ means to me because I have little doubt we all end up expecting certain things to happen no matter what decisions we make. Keeping our expectations reasonable and realistic will surely assist us in reaching our aims.

Once you know your ‘why’ and have listened to your inner voices for direction and given some thought to your version of success, it becomes very important to create an action plan.

No matter what diet plan you’ve chosen, there are steps you’ll need to take to shift from what you’re doing presently to how you’re going to implement your new plan. Releasing old patterns and adopting new ones requires some will power.

Is it easy for you to alter your perspectives and habits or will this create major hurdles for you? I believe this is where your ‘why’ comes into play. Once you’ve answered the question of ‘why’, hopefully you’ve armed yourself with positive motivations you can use to overcome any challenges or difficulties you encounter. Having important physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual reasons for your choices gives you power and offers you your best chance for the success you desire.

Whatever you decide, I hope you experience a wonderful life.

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Completion

While away on a break from writing original posts I thought I’d share some of my favorites with you from the past three and a half years. In mid-March I’ll return with more original posts. Until then, please enjoy these.

A while ago I mentioned to you that I had chosen a task which would significantly challenge me. My son, Tommy, had told me about something called a Misogi.

Research informed me that it is an ancient Japanese Shinto practice where monks and their student would embark on a long journey high up into the mountains in search of a waterfall. The students, wearing thin short robes, would stand under the cold streaming water performing a ritual intended to purify their bodies and their minds.

An updated version is practiced by folks desiring to challenge and perhaps in some way, purify themselves. Those interested must choose something which they believe has a fifty percent or better chance of failure, and which will not harm themself or others.

I spent a bit of time wondering about this. It felt necessary. Important. Vital to me, especially because I wanted to perform it prior to my birthday.

I cast about for a difficult task and chose to walk from one end to the other and back on a Rail Trail close to my home. I speculated the distance would be somewhere between 18 and 19 miles.

The longest distance I’d ever walked in my life was a little over 16 miles and that was many years ago when I was in far better physical shape. Nothing much hurt in my body and I felt relatively fit.

I wondered, was it even possible for me to complete this journey?

Despite understanding how challenging it would be, I knew deep inside me that it was important. I could not have told you why, I just knew.

And so, I began to figure things out. I’d need to go on some ‘practice walks’, distances that would offer me a sense of what I might experience on my Misogi and prepare my body and my mind.

My first long walk was a little over 8 miles and my second just shy of 10 miles. Each of them provided keen insights I felt would ultimately benefit me.

Tommy asked if he could join me, which I immediately jumped at, knowing the shared experience would last a lifetime.

Today is my 71st birthday and I wanted to let you know that we completed the full distance (19.5 miles) last Saturday, August 19, 2023.

The significance of this adventure is still dawning on me.

We had a wonderful time catching up and sharing our lives, further bonding us. I am so grateful that we could do this together and know it would have been so much more difficult had I done this solo. We compared notes about our physical aches and pains and often checked our mileage to the finish line. When we made it, we celebrated with orange bubble gum cigars.

During the days that followed, I wondered whether there was anything in my life that was purified? Were some ‘contaminants’ removed? Did I feel cleansed in some way?

What was the purpose of my Misogi? Did I prove something to myself? Would I do it again?

If you thought about it, what Misogi would you choose for yourself? How demanding would it be? Can you tolerate the thought of failure? Are you driven by the allure of success?

In the end, I believe I wanted to test my sense of resolve. Could I, would I complete my chosen task, or would I give in? This task became less about success or failure and more about connecting to my inner strength. A strength that could overcome obstacles and challenges, regardless of the difficulties.

I freely admit I hit a physical pain wall at about 14 miles, and there was a moment of temptation to stop and give up. But something inside me refused to seriously consider the idea. I tapped into a reserve. I willed my body to continue moving for the next 5.5 miles, one stride at a time, knowing I could do it.

I think this is why I did this. To prove to myself that I could if I willed it.

I hope you can tap into your own inner reserve and accomplish whatever you set out to achieve in your life.

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Power Sources

While away on a break from writing original posts I thought I’d share some of my favorites with you from the past three and a half years. In mid-March I’ll return with more original posts. Until then, please enjoy these.

The title to this post could imply many things. I’m curious, what was the first thing that popped into your mind?

Electricity, gasoline, wind, water, sun light, geothermal?

Or did you go a different direction?

Maybe politics, finances, athletics, social status, influence, popularity?

There are other avenues as well; food, animals, plants, bees?

And whereas all of these, and many more represent power sources, the ones I was thinking about were the internal ones that reside within us and the ones we gravitate to that exist outside ourselves.

Our cultural training offers us a host of options to choose from. Personally, I’ve found that many of these are quite unreliable. At first, they seem attractive, but they don’t offer much depth and can easily slip away.

Here’s an example.

One external power source that’s popular occurs when we listen to and value what others say to us instead of considering and deciding what we think and believe. Trading our power for the temporary power we receive from others does not seem beneficial or sustainable to me. Allowing the opinions of others to guide our lives may be helpful at times, but once we have a sense of who we are and where we want to go in life, it can be extremely counterproductive if we use it exclusively, rather than exercising our own internal power.

I admit that the power offered us by others can be very seductive. Receiving positive comments, congratulations and rewards can make us feel good, but if it happens in place of how we feel about ourselves, it robs us of our own power.

Comparing ourselves with others does the same thing, whether it’s about our weight, sales numbers, bank balances or popularity. Having someone, anyone else, determine our worth or value leads inevitably to a loss of our genuine power.

Shifting away from what others think, say, or do and embracing our own internal sources of power to enhance our lives is worth whatever amount of time it takes.

Creating our own sense of direction and pursuing our dreams and desires provides a pathway toward self-improvement. We can open doors into music, reading, connecting with others, writing, artwork, and all sorts of physical practices.

And during these experiences we can tell ourselves that we possess the ultimate power, which is the ability to use our free will to decide the course of our lives. We can set the stage for pursuing whatever direction we choose and can establish our own criteria for a satisfying life.

Holding onto our own power yields our best chance to create and experience whatever we choose, rather than be held captive to others’ expectations or demands.

Perhaps this feels like too much of a challenge to you. It could be that you’ve been conditioned to follow the lead of others and you strongly sense a need for support and guidance to help you exercise your own free will.

I have a suggestion for you if this is the case. It comes from my own life experience over the last twenty-six years. If you’ve read anything I’ve written, you can probably already guess what it is.

If you need guidance, aid, and support, I recommend that you begin by engaging with whatever your concept is for (god).

In my case, I have constant conversations with Lia, a feminine, ethereal part of (god) who talks with me and provides wise council, often opening my eyes to things I do not see clearly.

I can tell you with the certainty that comes from literally thousands of conversations that she loves and supports me. She offers clarification and insight and never attempts to ‘overpower’ me. In fact, she reminds me that I am in charge of my own life and am my own greatest power.

Should you want to have your own conversation with Lia or with whatever name for (god) that feels right to you, I encourage you to take just one step in that direction and see what happens. I believe there is enormous power inside you waiting to be released.

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Overeating

While away on a break from writing original posts I thought I’d share some of my favorites with you from the past three and a half years. In mid-March I’ll return with more original posts. Until then, please enjoy these.

Overeating is a complicated affair.

Personally, I find that it happens to me when things are really challenging in my life. Part of me believes that I need more food and that it will help soothe me or satisfy some craving I have.

But what occurs instead is that I gain weight, experience painful acid reflux, and have very poor-quality sleep. You’d think these results would be enough to prevent me from continuing to overeat.

They aren’t. They don’t.

Another part of me enters the picture. I think to myself, this has to be easy to resolve, I’ll just eat more fruits and vegetables and fewer snacks and treats. Surely, this will make things better for me.

And perhaps this would be true if the part of me that wants to overeat wasn’t resistant. But it is.

There is a constant war of sorts between periods of control and excess.

I find it strange that while on vacation, I give myself permission to eat whatever and whenever I want. This of course leads to weight gain, but never as much as I would have anticipated, probably because my activity level is so high. So, maybe if I maintained this same level of activity after vacation it would be okay.

I don’t know about you, but this doesn’t work for me.

I ask myself, what’s really happening here?

I am struck immediately by one obvious answer. I am at peace on vacation. I don’t have hundreds of things I’m thinking about and feel the need to accomplish. I’m not emotional taxed on vacation.

This leads me to another observation and a more important set of questions.

What other reasons are contributing to my overeating? Are they emotionally based? Are they resolvable?

Am I hung up with my looks and how I see myself? Am I thinking about how others see me? Do I seek or need or want their approval? And if so, why?

To a degree overeating feels circular to me. There is a cause-and-effect riddle that faces me and asks to be addressed.

I’m tired of the game and want answers, so I decide to plunge in. I realize everyone’s situation is different and that you’ll want to substitute your own emotional clues, if mine don’t make sense to you. But it might prove helpful to read along and adjust where necessary.

For me, I believe overeating is emotionally based and arises inside me from different directions.

Judgements. The judgement process might begin with others, but over time I find that unless I’m very careful, I internalize others’ views and criticisms of me.

Comparisons. Whether initiated by others or ourselves, any form of comparison is damaging and unfair. We are all unique people and have our own paths to travel.

Ideals. Self-created or adopted from others, having specific ideals of exactly how we ‘should’ look, act or feel is extremely limiting and offers us no true way to feel good about ourselves.

Having considered these words, I am now more aware of their emotional impact on me and sense they are driving some of my emotional weight and desire to overeat.

If you give yourself a chance to sit and listen to your emotions, body, mind, and spirit, perhaps you’ll discover some reasons of your own.

In my next post I’d like to offer you one possible way to release any emotional weight you carry, whether from overeating or another source.

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Bucket List

While away on a break from writing original posts I thought I’d share some of my favorites with you from the past three and a half years. In mid-March I’ll return with more original posts. Until then, please enjoy these.

I was at our local YMCA recently and came across a sheet laying on the check-out table. It was their version of a summer bucket list containing fifty or so items they were suggesting for summer activities. It was wide ranging, but as you might expect, heavily slanted toward physical health.

I’ve always liked the idea of bucket lists and began my own when I was in high school and have made numerous additions to it over the years. Many of the items have been ‘checked off’ and reading them gives me great pleasure.

A few items have dropped off my list due to spousal veto’s, such as hang gliding and roller blading, as she cites ‘excess ambition and potential physical damage with extensive recuperation time’ as her reasons. I feel compelled to concede, knowing she is no doubt correct.

Other items have been released, most notably, owning a castle on the Rhine. I can perhaps visit a castle on the Rhine, if we go on a European River Cruise, which IS on my bucket list. I think that would be a great substitute, after all the heating bills in the winter must be daunting.

I would love to know what others put on their lists and their reasons for their choices.

I thought I would share a few of mine with you, maybe to get you started on your own or just for a fun read. I split the groupings up into those I’ve already done and those presently on my To Do list.

Experienced

Built a treehouse for our children with my dad.

Laid on a bed of nails (Baltimore Science Museum)

Walked 500 miles between my college (Hartwick) campus and my wife’s campus (State University at Oneonta) over a three year period

Marched in a Parade (as By Scout Den leader)

Blown an Alphorn (Switzerland)

Spent a night in a train car (during camping trip in heavy rain)

Served at a Soup Kitchen

Written a Country Western song for my wife

Helped out after 9/11 (on-site financial support and food supply)

Swam with dolphins (Key Largo)

Sponsoring two children through Compassion (Maria and Sara)

Won a stuffed animal at an Amusement Park

Skied one Black Diamond trail (mostly slid my way down)

Signed up as Organ Donor (unrelated to the black diamond trail)

Bowled over 200 (221)

Scored below 80 in golf (79)

Present Bucket List (some of them)

Attend Special Events: graduations and weddings for our three grandchildren

Hold any great grandchildren born during our lifetime

Participate in the Polar Plunge (Lake George January 2024)

Walk the Rail Trail from end to end and back with Tommy

Extensive Creek Walk with Jenny

Have 50th Wedding Anniversary party (only one requested gift-each attendee offers 50 memories)

Visit some National Parks (Zion, Bryce, Arches, Antelope Canyon)

Travel to different cities in the US on vacation

Fast for 36 hours

Make deep connections with others

Teach/facilitate a Retreat/Workshop at Kripalu

Write more Little Buddha books (perhaps a total of 10)

Get in touch with old friends

Travel to a country to see the Aurora Borealis

Learn more about nature (add ID apps to my phone)

Read a challenging book

Make new friends

Shoot a bull’s-eye in archery

These are just a few items because there are so many more I could write down. The thing I like most about doing this is that it engages me in this present wonderful life.

I can dream of anything, knowing that if I really truly want to experience it, there is a way. If I conceive it and believe it and take action, all things are possible. What a gift!

I hope that you fill up your own Bucket List with things that light you up and give meaning and purpose to your life.

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Endings and Beginnings

While away on a break from writing original posts I thought I’d share some of my favorites with you from the past three and a half years. In mid-March I’ll return with more original posts. Until then, please enjoy these.

It occurred to me recently that there are a lot of examples of endings in my life. Some of them are okay with me, but others are filled with sadness. Perhaps you face the same thing in your life, despite our examples being different.

I’ve been spending a great deal of time preparing for a garage sale that my daughter, Jenny and I are having soon. It involves a huge number of decisions on my part. Maybe like others, my basement is a certifiable disaster area. Years ago, we had a flood and I had to throw out a ton of stuff but felt other things would be safe. It turns out, they weren’t. Over the years they’ve acquired a terrible, damp, moldy smell and they have to go.

Fortunately, there are salvageable items. Enough so that I had to make literally 50 trips from the basement to the garage.

Among the items were my golf clubs, which generated my first ‘ending’. I’ve kept them in the basement even though I haven’t played in years and am unlikely to ever play again. But I kept them there because I wasn’t ready to admit to myself that I was done playing. I have very pleasant memories of playing golf, being out on the course, walking on the freshly cut grass, among family or friends, sharing both the good and bad shots. Even though my back won’t tolerate playing any more, I was reluctant to give them up. It was too sad an ending for me.

On several racks, taking up a lot of space, was all of my camping gear. My best friend, Doug, and I did a great deal of camping and canoeing together, and we both loved it. Being out in nature, testing ourselves and our skills against the challenges, was a wonderful experience. To put these things in the trash or the garage sale meant I was done with them. That it’s over. More sorrow for me.

There are other endings that surround me.

When I was seventeen and on my high school’s JV soccer team I was on the field and got hit directly in the face with a soccer ball. It hurt but I recovered. Unfortunately, my two front teeth took the brunt of the force, and both were damaged. Over the years they discolored and a couple weeks ago, my left front tooth had to be extracted. I’m now left with a big gap until it can be repaired. The surgery and recovery were quite painful, and I really miss my tooth. I can’t bite anything with my other front tooth at this point, so have to cut up my food. I miss eating like I used to, and it feels like an ending to me.

Other endings surfaced when I started thinking about this topic. Among them are the loss of friends, whether to cancer or suicide or moving away. No matter the reason, it’s hard to take because they each represent an ending to me and are filled with sadness.

I needed to sit back, to pause and consider, what does all of this mean to me? Where do I put the pain, sorrow, and sadness? What other way might I see this to gain a different perspective?

The answer that showed up was, that all endings are also new beginnings. Or they can be if I allow and encourage them to be.

I wondered what I would have to do to make this real. Perhaps it was as simple as telling myself it would serve me best to make the shift.

So, I sat and consciously, intentionally, reviewed each ‘ending’ and reframed them as new beginnings. I recognized that I could get lost in the sorrow of each of my endings, but I could also shift my perspective and view them as new beginnings and the start of new adventures.

I decided to give my golf clubs to my grandson, Evan, so that they can be his and that he can have a bit of my legacy. I decided that although I wouldn’t be camping outside in the same way as before, I could go anywhere and do anything I wanted. There are thousands of VRBOs and Air B&Bs available to me. I decided that even though I have lost some friends, I am capable and desirous of making new friends and sharing new adventures with them. And I’ve committed to believing that there will be good bone growth, so that a new tooth (crown) can be placed where there is currently a gap, restoring my dental health.

What I discovered, while allowing myself to feel the full weight of the sorrow of some endings, was that I have other choices too. I can release the sadness and embrace the enchantment of new beginnings, making my world a better place for myself.

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Chaos Transformed by Love

While away on a break from writing original posts I thought I’d share some of my favorites with you from the past three and a half years. In mid-March I’ll return with more original posts. Until then, please enjoy these.

I look at the world today and see so much chaos. Fear seems to have taken deep root and manifested intense feelings that surface in disturbing ways. The air around us seems filled with worry, heart break and anger.

What can be done to help heal all of this?

For me, I realize I cannot be at peace if I harbor animosity in my heart for another person. If I fail to see that we are one human family and that we are all made from the same love, then I am lost.

When I see the cruel and violent actions of others, I have to be able to distinguish between who they ‘appear’ to me to be and who they truly ‘are’. They are more than the show of their outward actions and beliefs.

Before I cast a stone in their direction, I have to force myself to realize they are no more who they ‘appear’ to be than I am. Beneath our surfaces, we are all a part of the one. All made from the same source of love.

What I am saying goes far beyond ‘acceptance’. If I am to help in the worlds healing in any way, I have to be able to live from a center of love. I have to embrace all of my own weaknesses and my wholeness.

None of this is about condoning the behaviors or beliefs of others that arose from their fear and hatred. Rather, it is looking beyond and seeing that all of their actions come from their separation from the truth. The truth of who they really are, beloved of (god).

If I want to experience more feelings of separation and dissonance in my life, the surest way is to believe myself separate from them or superior to them. I benefit from realizing that I have no idea what their lives have been like and what stories they’ve been told and come to believe about themselves and the world.

If I want to help heal the world, I know that I have to start with myself. And so, I ask for a shift in my focus and that I seek a sense of clarity. I ask to have my heart opened fully, so that I can understand the difficult paths others have chosen. I have to suspend my judgment and I have to listen carefully. And, as best as I can, I have to see the world through their eyes.

My task is to see and feel with a loving undivided heart, knowing I am part of the wholeness and the holiness, and see all others as the same. If I live with this kind of heart, I can be in the world, but not of the world.

For there to be any peace inside of me, the depth of my love has to be deeper than the depth of another’s fear. I need to see beyond their misperceptions and find something within them I can hold inside of me. I have to breathe into stillness, letting go of my fear, until I find my loving heart and some part of the truth that can serve as a guide toward understanding and peace.

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Retreat

While away on a break from writing original posts I thought I’d share some of my favorites with you from the past three and a half years. In mid-March I’ll return with more original posts. Until then, please enjoy these.

Have you ever gone on a retreat? It doesn’t have to have been for a specified amount of time, just long enough for you to feel separated from your normal existence. A pause, a time out, just for you.

If you haven’t, I’d like to invite you to give it a try.

I know, it can feel like there are a million reasons why you can’t do it. Not enough time, money, family coverage and I’m sure every reason is legitimate.

But what if you could spare an hour, an afternoon, or a day, and if you’re very fortunate, even more time? How might you benefit?

Okay, maybe it can’t be a block of time. Imagine if you were to be  able to separate out a half hour every day, where it was ‘your time’, able to be spent in ways that rejuvenated you or where you could map out some new and exciting directions?

This is certainly something I wished I’d paid more attention to earlier in my life. I can see now how beneficial it would have been to have had a few dedicated hours of ‘me time’.

Of course, if you’re in partnership with another or part of a family group, it’s important to make sure you’re also supporting others needs for the same thing. This mutual caring is part of a loving relationship and at the core of holding good intentions for others growth.

Maybe it would help you decide to give this a try if you knew some of the benefits, so I’d like to share some of those that have come my way.

For several years I’ve made it a point to block out time for a retreat. Often, it’s part of a formal program, but within the program there are many hours each person has to themselves. Time which can be used in whatever way brings them fulfillment.

Recently I attended a workshop (retreat) and discovered a variety of ways to enrich my life.

At the beginning I encouraged myself to be open to connecting with others, to letting them in, so that we could form friendships. This isn’t always easy for me because I have to overcome my own past history, where as a child, I went to summer camp and found it challenging to make new friends. But I recognize that releasing my fears clears the way for all that others will bring into my life and for what I might be able to offer them.

In addition to having some trouble making new friends, my childhood history includes bouts of loneliness and that comes to sit with me every time I go on a retreat. Knowing this, I try to find the courage to accept the feelings when they arrive, to let them have their say and then to move past them by taking the first step in connecting with others. I’ve discovered that taking some form of action often allows me to move through most any ‘pain’ I encounter.

During each retreat I consciously choose to explore new opportunities, try new foods, create art, write poetry, probe new thoughts, and spend time giving of myself to others, and if given to, I try to accept their gifts with grace.

Most of all, I attempt to speak my truth, to say what feels important to be shared, to support others growth and to affirm everyone’s value.

Of course, this type of group retreat provides the opportunity for connection and interaction with others. But I also do retreats by myself, and this creates different and beautiful experiences as well. So, no matter what you choose, whether you are with others or all by yourself, there are wonderful experiences awaiting you.

Early on I discovered there was only one way to truly find out if a retreat would be worth it. I had to go on one.

I hope there is some time in your busy life where there is a retreat waiting you.

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Beneath the Healing Experience

While away on a break from writing original posts I thought I’d share some of my favorites with you from the past three and a half years. In mid-March I’ll return with more original posts. Until then, please enjoy these.

Do you wonder why some folks are healed and others are not?

If you do, you are not alone. It would seem surprising that any one of us has escaped the need for healing, whether it be physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual.

No doubt there are many ideas, strategies and therapies that are available to treat any condition, but how does one know which is most likely to work?

Perhaps the simple answer is…we don’t know.

Professional health care workers, social and psychological therapists, energy workers, spiritual counselors, everyone associated with any field of study or practice, may not know.

Maybe this is because we are so complicated and the nature of our illness or discomfort crosses barriers. Maybe no one in the healing professions can treat us effectively because they may not understand our full picture.

So, you may be wondering, where do we go for help?

I leave to you that decision, but I offer you this.

I believe all healing happens within us. I also believe that help is always present to me. In my case, it is Lia, a part of god, I call upon. Lia is an ethereal feminine voice that speaks to me with sweetness and wisdom. Not only is she available to me, but she is also available to you. She waits for you to ask for her presence and once you do, she appears.

As I experience illnesses and discomforts, I wonder how I will ever be restored to health. I am a person who likes answers. I am a person who needs answers and when I am without them, it adds to my challenges.

So, I reach out to Lia for help. And she comes and speaks to me.

In the Bible, Jesus is said to heal others. There are lots and lots of stories and they center around folks who were unwell before their interaction with Jesus, but then become well.

How?

I want to know. Maybe you do too. So, I ask Lia about it, and this is what she told me. As always, I leave it up to you to feel whether there is truth in her words for you.

“Yeshiwa (Jesus) never healed anyone. They came to him with the power to heal themselves already inside of them. Yeshiwa recognized this and offered them the choice of believing and having faith in being restored to health. He saw within them those who were ready and those who were not. He knew the outcome through knowing this.”

Stunning and not at all what I was expecting.

Lia continued, “Yeshiwa asked what those who came to him were seeking so that they would confirm their desire for healing. And once they did, once they made the choice to be restored, their faith made them well.”

I was still stunned but now I understood. And yet, I wondered, how does this apply to me?

Lia heard my thoughts and said, “Choosing health and wellness is up to you. Imagine for a moment that one day you choose health, but the next you choose doubt. And imagine it goes on and on like this. Do you suppose that you will experience only wellness?”

Ouch, that kind of hit home. What it also did was open my eyes, my mind, and my heart. If I am never consistent with my thoughts and beliefs, how can I expect the outcomes I say I desire.

My answer is…I can’t realistically. I have to shift.

Since I have the power within me to heal, I see the need to make the same choice over and over again, without diluting it with contrary feelings and doubts, because once I do, my power is lost.

I need to choose to believe in the healing power I possess and to choose it each time it comes to mind. I need to choose it with my mind, my heart, and my spirit. It is only then that I will be healed.

Thank you, Lia, for your divine wisdom.

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Following Your Heart

While away on a break from writing original posts I thought I’d share some of my favorites with you from the past three and a half years. In mid-March I’ll return with more original posts. Until then, please enjoy these.

Have you heard the expression, ‘follow your heart’?

What does it mean to you? How would you go about explaining it to someone else?

If you were asked whether you follow your heart or not, what would you say?

Since we can’t have a two-way dialogue at the moment, I’ll share what it means to me and then ask you another few questions.

A defining idea surfaces.

Is there a practical way to tell the difference between what your mind wants and what your heart wants? That feels like a tricky question for sure.

To me, the things that satisfy my mind bring me happiness, while those things that nourish my heart bring me joy. These two sensations feel entirely different. And while I like the ones that offer happiness, I love the ones that bring me joy.

Following my head (mind) prompts me to accomplish things by way of meeting or exceeding my objectives. I admit I have a tendency to grade or rate each of my experiences and I spend time evaluating them, wondering if I could have done better.

Unfortunately, when I don’t achieve what I set out to accomplish, I am often unhappy and can at times question my worth. While this is happening, I do recognize what a poor choice I’m making, so I try to create triggers within the experience. The triggers are sort of like check points, where I can shift away from my head and view things from my heart and my spirit.

But what does this mean and how can one shift?

A way that works for me is to stop once I recognize a trigger and observe how I am feeling. Is an experience making me angry, anxious, afraid, irritated? Is it providing me with a sense of temporary pleasure or a fleeting glimpse of happiness which I know will not last? If so, these signal me that I am focused on my mind and it’s time to adjust, to shift toward something more real.

When I follow my heart, I notice I set up aims, which are looser than goals. They flex and adapt, and I can experience life, finding what feels like open, free, flavorful experiences. Ones that I can savor and not lose. They last. They become ‘keepers’.

Recently I’ve been struggling with a set of decisions regarding which projects from my list I want to move forward with. Every time I begin the process I’m faced with a series of obstacles. They block my path, and I cannot see over, around or beyond them.

Fortunately, a knowing part of me realizes that obstacles represent triggers too, so I allow myself to move deeper into my heart, knowing it is my mind that is having the problem.

As so often happens, I call out for help from Lia, a divine feminine voice that lives within me. She awaits me at all times and is ever present in my life. I believe she is awaiting each of us, ready to share once we ask for her assistance.

Although I ordinarily gain valuable insights quickly, I discovered that I needed a series of conversations over several days to reach far enough below the surface to unveil what I needed to hear. Lia is always patient with me, giving me time to uncover for myself what I so desperately feel I need. In this case, she led me forward until I could see with crystal clarity. She offered me an image I could hold on to and use whenever I felt at a crossroad.

It was a bracelet with two charms hanging from it. One was labeled, ‘fear’ and the other, ‘love’. She said that no matter what I encountered in my life, my experience would be guided by the choice I made between fear and love.

I wanted to know more. I wanted to feel what kind of difference this choice would make, particularly when I reimagined the projects I’d been considering. So, I found my list and asked myself what would be the outcome if in each case I chose to look at them with love.

I know this sounds simple. I also know simple things are often profound.

When I reviewed my list, everything fell into place. Rather than feeling confused, everything was clear to me, and I now know what to do.

So here are my follow up questions for you.

Is there a way for you to imagine wearing a bracelet with two charms, one ‘fear’ and the other ‘love’? Can you use love to find a way forward, no matter what the situation is? Can you use your heart (and your spirit) to lead your way forward?

I hope you can.

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A Different Diet Plan

While away on a break from writing original posts I thought I’d share some of my favorites with you from the past three and a half years. In mid-March I’ll return with more original posts. Until then, please enjoy these.

Does anyone know how many diets plans are out there?

It’s likely to be a big number and there may be lots of folks who’ve tried several. It’s tempting to assume that if someone has tried more than one, it means the first one didn’t work. Naturally, there may be a host of reasons for this, with some completely outside our control.

I am personally not an advocate for any specific diet plan, so you won’t find that kind of advice here, but what I would like to share is a belief that a successful diet plan is far more than which types of food you do and don’t eat.

It’s also about more than how much or when you eat. Of course, those things matter. So does the amount of exercise you get and how much water you drink.

Here’s what I wonder.

What about all the other things we take in daily and their impact on our physical, emotional, and spiritual bodies? What is the weight we carry from our continual exposure to a hurting world?

I’m curious about the effects created by our concerns, whether it’s our debts, relationships, jobs, money, health issues. Do they add weight?

I sense the answer is…yes, and in more ways than we suspect.

If you consider that we may work at a job that does not fulfill or reward us, have challenges managing our own or others physical issues, or are heavy laden with family responsibilities that don’t seem to end, it’s pretty clear why some diet plans fail.

Add to this that we often live in a fear-based world as reflected by our news and social media content.

Okay, let’s say we accept that the world can be a challenging place to live, especially if you’re adding the idea of losing weight to your to do list, isn’t our next question, what do we do about it?

I’d like to offer you a few ideas. Only you will know if any will work for you.

There are a lot of people in the world who would like to see you succeed in reaching your goals, whatever they might be. If you know who they are already, that’s wonderful news.

If you don’t have someone like that, perhaps right now is the time to find them. Whether it’s an existing or new friend, family member, counselor or another professional, you deserve to have support in your life. You are a unique and beautiful being and are meant to thrive in all ways. Sometimes for this to happen, you have to ask for help.

So, take a moment and consider, what do you want your life to be like? Are there some practical things you could change that would make it easier for you? Could it be as simple as beginning some new routines, like keeping a gratitude journal? Or maybe giving yourself five or ten minutes each day that’s just yours?

Perhaps your top concern is losing physical weight, but it might be helped along by losing the emotional or spiritual weight you are carrying. And maybe once you lose these, the physical weight can be released.

I confess, asking for help has always been difficult for me. Maybe it’s the same for you.

I am an eternal advocate for asking help from the divine. I know things can get a little messy here because there are so many names and concepts, but I ask only that you choose the one that feels most comfortable to you.

When I ask for help now, I offer my gratitude in advance because I know that the divine loves me and will always provide care and support, so I am thankful even before asking.

It’s a simple process…sitting quietly, closing my eyes, breathing slowly and evenly, and opening my mind and my heart, then asking for the help I need. If it feels right to you and you wish to try this, my profound hope is that you are able to release the weight of the world.

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Self-Acceptance

While away on a break from writing original posts I thought I’d share some of my favorites with you from the past three and a half years. In mid-March I’ll return with more original posts. Until then, please enjoy these.

I’ve found that I cannot grow without first accepting who I am. When I fail to do this, there are inevitable conflicts that arise.

Let’s say, for example, that I want to lose some weight. Some part of me has already determined that I am not acceptable the way I am. Maybe this would be okay if my health was at stake, and I truly needed to lose weight to save my own life.

But that’s not my case right now.

I want it for other reasons. I’m not sure I even know what they all are. A couple pop into my mind. I believe I would be physically more comfortable shedding some pounds. My clothes would fit better. And I would look better.

Hold on, wait a minute. I need to ask myself an important question.

Who would I look better to? Who do I feel I need to please? What benefit is it to me to please someone else? What do I need from them, that would cause me to alter how I look at myself?

I have to stop and answer these vital questions.

If I am trying to lose weight for someone else, haven’t I already contaminated my purpose?

There’s more to it. If I am trying to lose weight and get on the scale every day and am disappointed with my results, a part of me refuses to accept me as I am. There is a sense of sadness and maybe anger.

I am forced to wonder; will I ever be able to accept me as I am? Is there some magic number on the scale that will satisfy me?

Let’s say for the sake of argument that there is a magic number and that I convince myself that I will always be happy with this number. The obvious challenge now is, how do I stay there? What amount of time and energy and commitment will it take to remain at this ‘ideal’ weight? This arbitrary number I’ve chosen, becomes my prison sentence.

So, I ask, what is it going to take to release this kind of thinking?

A companion question comes up. What is the comparison between remaining at this restrictive target weight and seeking and finding self-acceptance of who and what I am and, in this case, what I look like to myself?

Which is the far greater prize?

If I listen carefully, I hear my answer. ‘You are loved, just the way you are.  You do not need to do anything to be worthy of love.’

The voice goes on to say, ‘Love is yours for the asking. You are acceptable just as you are. Once you know this as true for you, you can change anything in your life. You can change anything, not because of fear, but because of love. You can add more love into your life and shift whatever you choose, not because you feel you need to, but because you see new possibilities and hold new dreams.’

This is what I was waiting for. A way to release my fears and embrace self-acceptance, knowing it belongs to me.

I hope that you know it belongs to you too.

As you’ve been reading this, our focus has been on weight loss, but self-acceptance is so much more than this. It applies to every aspect of our lives, and the answer is always the same. ‘You are loved just the way you are.’

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Was Buddha Worried About His Weight

While away on a break from writing original posts I thought I’d share some of my favorites with you from the past three and a half years. In mid-March I’ll return with more original posts. Until then, please enjoy these.

One day I was wondering about all of the diets there are around, so I decided to investigate a little. A quick search of the internet produced thirty-nine diets, identifying their strong and weak points.

It was mind boggling.

How could anyone ever hope to understand all of the differences between them and conclude which would be the best to try, if in fact, you wanted to try one at all?

The specifics of each diet change depending on the emphasis of the plan. Many diets support the idea of increasing fruit, vegetables, fish and plant-based foods. Others capitalize on certain foods groups to counter physical conditions like, high blood pressure, diabetes, cardio concerns or to improve mental functioning. In all the cases I read about, nutrition and safety play a major role, but there seems to be a significant difference of opinion, depending on the expert who is providing the information.

Some diets are notoriously difficult to follow, while others make it too challenging to understand the differences between good and bad food items or some other key components.

In many cases there are supporting statements made to attempt to convince a potential dieter of the values or reasons for the individual plans. For instance, some report that the Paleo Diet says, “that if cavemen didn’t eat it, you probably shouldn’t either.”

It wasn’t until my mid 60’s that I felt the need for a diet. A gradual increase in my weight each year suggested I would be in trouble if I didn’t make some immediate changes.

So, off I went to Weight Watchers.

Their program stresses adherence to certain point goals (each food is assigned a point value) and highly recommends attendance at weekly meetings, to monitor weight and participate in conversations with other members, guided by an instructor.

I did, in fact, reach my goal and have been mostly successful in maintaining it, within a reasonable range.

What all of the instructors say is, that to be truly successful, you have to change your mind-set about your relationship with food. Merely altering what you eat for a short time, even though it might produce some results, will fail in the long run.

I believe they are correct.

I believe there is a lot more involved that allows a person to achieve their weight goals. Or, for that matter, any goals they might have.

This is where Buddha comes in.

Have you ever seen a picture of a slender, trim Buddha? I doubt it. Do you think Buddha spent any time concerned about his weight? I also doubt this.

Bear in mind here (BIG DISCLAIMER), I am not suggesting or recommending that you ignore the sound advice from your health professionals regarding any diet ideas they have, especially, if you have an obvious health concern.

What I do want to share is a thought about our ‘beliefs’, especially in relation to what we experience in life.

Considering all dieters, could the difference between those who are successful and those who are not, be their belief about the outcome they would experience, rather than the particular diet they were on?

If you substituted a different concept for dieting (academic, career, relationship, finances…), would it work the same way, meaning your outcome would be directly related to your belief about your outcome, rather than one of the individual steps you took?

It certainly feels to me like an important idea to consider, mostly because it alters the dynamic, shifting it from a conceptual form to one of belief, particularly if the belief is deep seated.

This idea is creating a shift in my mind-set about my food intake and maintaining my weight. What if I had a strong belief that it is not so much about what I eat, as it is about what I believe about what I eat?

That’s something I think Buddha would have something to say about.

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Somehow Everything Serves Me

While away on a break from writing original posts I thought I’d share some of my favorites with you from the last three and a half years. In mid-March I’ll return with more original posts. Until then, please enjoy these.

Does this seem like a radical statement and unlikely to be true? Is it enough to shy away from even reading this post or is there a chance that you hope that it is true and want to know more?

For the majority of my life I would have said ‘yes’, it is a radical statement and ‘yes’, it’s unlikely to be true. I would have followed that up with answering that ‘yes’, it is enough to make me move on and ‘no’, I don’t want to know any more. I know enough already.

I felt it would take a major shift to change my outlook, one I did not believe was possible.

I’d suffered numerous outcomes in my life that I could broadly describe as ‘bad or negative’. Things had happened that hurt me and distanced me from others. I’d fallen and failed and frozen in place and thought to myself, what good can ever come from ‘this’, whatever ‘this’ was.

Perhaps you’ve experienced your own challenges, pain, frustration and resentments in your life. Many are probably the ‘fault’ of others or fall loosely into the category, ‘it is what it is’. Some problems may be the result of actions you’ve taken or not taken. Others are because of words exchanged, sometimes in the heat of the moment.

When I first considered the statement that, ‘somehow everything serves me’, I wondered, how could this be true? How could something so painful or which felt so wrong, ever offer me any benefit or value?

I discovered that asking this question out loud or thinking it inside of me was a part of the wall that separated me from an answer. Asking this implies, at least to some extent, that I don’t believe that everything could possibly serve me. And, if I already held that opinion, there was no room for any benefit or value to show itself.

There was another hurdle to jump over.

What did the statement mean to me when it said, ‘serves me?’ Did that mean that there should be some obvious connection I could see that linked a ‘negative’ experience with an eventual ‘positive’ result? And, how exactly would I be ‘served’? Would I even notice?

I find I learn best when I have an example to follow. I promised myself to remain open to the idea that it could be possible that somehow everything serves me. I promised to be observant, during the search and afterward, in watching for the benefit or value as it was brought my way.

I felt it would be a good idea to choose something big as my example. Something with a little meat on it. It turns out that wasn’t all that difficult.

I lost my job. By lost, I mean that it was taken away from me. One day I had it and the next day I didn’t. I’ve read that this rates as the #5 most stressful experience in life and I can see why. It changes everything; financial, emotional, social, intellectual, physical, you name it.

I confess my initial reaction was one of being totally overwhelmed, and I believe that tears were involved. There was only the very smallest part of me that held out any hope that this might ‘serve me’.

I came to realize that it’s possible to stand too close to a situation and that you have to take a few steps backward to be able to see clearly.

As the days went by, I kept my promise to remain open. I allowed myself to grieve and release the heavy weight of my emotions then move on with a watchful eye. I found that I could stand far enough away and make decisions that would help move me forward. I took a critical look at our finances and made sweeping changes. I opened to receive an offer for a new job, even though it wasn’t a part of my original plan. I made concessions and tried to rewrite my story.

Months passed and there they were, sitting right in front of me. A whole host of benefits. I had a new job which offered me the chance for achievable results. I had dramatically reduced my work stress level and responsibilities. I had the chance to revise our finances, which set us up for a better future forecast. And best of all, I found a way to retire years before I would have, had I stayed at my old job. This allowed me to spend more time with Maureen and to share in the radiance of babysitting our granddaughter, and then our grandson.

I’ve discovered that, no matter what example I choose, the outcome is the same. I am served by everything that happens to me in my life. This doesn’t mean that everything is rosy and bright. It’s work, most of the time. But, it is work with a huge payoff, far greater than I’d ever thought possible.

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Sitting For Ideas

While on a break from writing original posts I thought I’d share some of my favorites with you from the past three and a half years. In mid-March I’ll return with more original posts. Until then, please enjoy these.

Can you imagine finding a quiet comfortable place to sit, then closing your eyes and peacefully waiting for marvelous ideas to arrive inside your mind? Ideas that would improve your life, offer you specific direction and help you to navigate the world.

There is such a place and it’s inside of every one of us.

One of my favorite mentors is Napoleon Hill. I’ve written about him before and probably mentioned that, when he was a cub reporter, he was given the opportunity to interview Andrew Carnegie, who was one of the wealthiest men in the world.

Carnegie took a liking to Napoleon and extended to him introductions to many of the most successful people in business, finance, and the scientific world. Napoleon would spend his next ten years assembling their best ideas and placing them in his book, Think Big and Grow Rich, which is still one of the top ten best-selling self-help books ever published.

Elmer Gates was one of Napoleon’s interviews. Elmer was a prolific inventor and at the turn of the 20th Century owned the largest private laboratory in the world. Napoleon was curious to know where all his ideas came from. When he arrived at Elmer’s office, the secretary asked him to take a seat and told him it might be a while, because Mr. Gates was ‘sitting for ideas’.

Eventually Elmer came out to meet Napoleon and invited him into his office and explained about his delay. He told Napoleon that when confronted with a problem or seeking a solution for a workable invention, he would ‘sit for ideas’. By this he meant that he would enter a darkened room which had only a desk, a chair, a pencil, a pad, and a flashlight. Without distractions, he would sit and wait for ideas, and when something came to him, he would write it down, then go back to sitting until the next idea came. Elmer told Napoleon that this was how he was able to discover answers and solutions that had evaded his busy waking mind.

Given Elmer Gates enormous success it makes me wonder what I can gain from this strategy.

I’m not immediately drawn to the darkened room approach, and you may not be either, but I feel there is something of significant value here.

Perhaps it is that, releasing distractions, creating a peaceful open environment, and embracing an attitude of expectation are key components to success.

I have little doubt that each of us would be well served by distancing ourselves, for even short periods of time, from life’s distractions. Shifting our environment, whether that is a darkened room, a long hot shower, a walk in nature or a meditation period, would give us time and space that could be greatly beneficial.

For me, there are many mornings when I wake up filled with thoughts and ideas. So many, that I have to begin writing them down the moment they come to me. That’s why there are pads all over my house, so that none of my ideas escape. I refer to this process as my overnight download.

I don’t know where the ideas come from. I could speculate, but what feels important to me is their arrival, not their source.

Elmer Gates is not the only person to take advantage of seeing beyond the observable world. Michelangelo said that every block of stone has a masterpiece inside of it and that the job of the sculptor is to let it out.

I believe that in order to find the masterpiece living inside of each of us we need to open ourselves to a truth. A truth that we are a part of the divine, whole and holy. A truth that every answer exists within us, and it is our task to set it free. Believing this and expecting to discover our answers is the gateway to all ideas becoming real.

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Pep Talk

I have two questions for you. Don’t worry, they’re pretty easy.

The first is…do you believe you know when someone is not telling you the truth?

I can’t say with any sense of confidence that I always can. I think there are many times when others fool me. I might have an impression one way or the other, but I’m not one hundred percent sure.

I wonder what your answer is and how sure you are.

My second question is…do you know when you are telling yourself something untrue?

This one is easier for me, how about you?

I believe I almost always know when I’m trying to convince myself that something is true. There is a certain feeling I experience. A kind of ‘knowing’.

I wonder if you experience this same inner sense.

Okay, so you may be wondering why I asked you these two questions and what it has to do with a ‘pep talk’.

I’ll start by introducing two concepts that are popular in our culture. The first is the idea of ‘fake it until you make it’ and the second is the notion that ‘you can make something come true merely by attempting to manifest or attract it’.

Let me first say that if these work for you, please ignore everything I’m going to say. Somehow, you’ve discovered a way to reap the rewards of this kind of thinking.

But for me, neither idea works as advertised and the main reason is that they both represent lies I would be telling myself. Because I can tell when I’m not being truthful with myself, I cannot create fake feelings or manifest anything I don’t believe possible.

I simply won’t buy this kind of story without some evidence to support it, no matter how much I might want it. If you’re like me, telling yourself a fictional story (ie: that you are rich beyond your wildest dreams) does not make it so. And similarly, trying to convince yourself that you can attract anything just because you would like it to be so, does not work.

Certainly, I have hopes and dreams and want things but in order for me to experience them I need to find a different way.

Here’s the pep talk part.

I believe each of us has incredible promise and potential, in some part received at birth, in other parts taught to us or discovered by us. Capitalizing on what we already have and taking the next step, that is a way forward for each of us.

Asking for help, putting forth effort, taking advantage of opportunities, either presented to us or pursued by us, these are ways to experience what we want in life.

Expecting it to come to us by some mysterious means or without effort on our part seems to me an entirely unrealistic notion.

I firmly believe each of us in capable of taking the next step, whatever it might be, either with others help or because we actively pursue it ourselves. Taking one step leads to taking another and before you know it, you’re taking aim toward what you intend to experience.

I’d like to cheerlead you in this process. I encourage you to take action, no matter the size, then take some more. Don’t worry if the steps are sometimes sideways or backwards, just keeping moving. Congratulate yourself for what you accomplish and savor the experience. And once in a while tell yourself ‘BRAVO’ for your efforts…you are a superstar.

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Blame

I have to admit it…being blaming for something is one of my least favorite things. I don’t like it when I AM the reason for something going wrong and get blamed, but I especially don’t like it when I am NOT the reason.

It seems so unfair, and it hurts. Partly I suppose because it damages my self-image.

And then there are the times I blame others.

One such instance happened recently. My wife and I were away and when we returned our driveway was full of snow. Okay, no problem, we’d just park in the road, I’d get the snowblower going and make quick work of clearing our driveway so we could park safely and unload our stuff.

The problem occurred in my very first pass down the driveway because underneath all of the snow was our newspaper which had been canceled while we were away. It wasn’t supposed to have been there. Naturally snowblowers and heavy newspapers do not get along. Before I could do anything, the newspaper was sucked into the snowblower and jammed beyond my ability to dislodge. Result = one useless snowblower and time to get some physical exercise shoveling.

My first reaction was yelling out loud. Not words exactly, but a lot of loud noise. This has happened before!

This reaction came with a great deal of blame. My wife had called the newspaper to cancel so they either didn’t cancel, or the newspaper carrier delivered one anyway. As far as I was concerned, the newspaper and carrier were both at fault.

And they were both the cause of several unfortunate results; having to shovel heavy wet snow, need to contact snowblower repair folks, cost of the repairs and length of time without it so that if it snows before I get it back, more shoveling for me. All because someone didn’t do their job.

I wanted to hold someone accountable. A part of me wanted them to have to pay for my inconvenience and the repair costs.

I confess it took a while for me to sit back far enough from the blaming to recognize what effect it was having on me. I was angry, frustrated and fuming, all things which prevented me from seeing clearly.

Once I gained a little distance, I saw how my upset was prolonging my negative feelings and delaying me from finding a resolution to the problem.

I had to stop and ask myself an important question. What if life is offering me something of benefit wrapped up in this problem? What if its value is far greater than the cost of the upset and the snowblower repair?

But what could that be?

I really had to work hard to shift my perspective. What made it possible for me was my ultimate belief that everything in my life actually ‘serves’ me in some way. Everything benefits me, no matter how it first appears. These ideas fueled my inner search.

I wondered, what if I accepted that sometimes things happen PERIOD. No one did it on purpose. No one was trying to harm or upset me. What if I just accepted that it happened and could be resolved? What if I did this quickly so that I avoided feeling angry and gave others the benefit of the doubt and didn’t blame them?

How would that change my world?

What if instead of blaming others I forgave them? How much would that save me from suffering? How much better would that be for my mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual wellbeing?

My answer is…it would fantastic. It would be an extraordinary decision.

I’m not saying that I’m adept at this yet. Clearly not. But what I did discover was that there is another way, a better way and hopefully I’ll choose that next time and save myself a whole lot of misery.

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What is Your Word Worth

On Christmas day I bet my grandson, Evan, $100 that he couldn’t throw his new basketball off their second story deck into his basketball hoop forty feet away. Mind you I’d already tried this twenty times without success, so I didn’t really think there was a strong chance that he’d be able to make the shot. But all sorts of things happen in this world.

After his third unsuccessful attempt he asked me how many more tries he could have. I told him he could keep going as long as he wanted.

On his next shot the ball whisked through the air headed right for the basketball hoop and swished through the net. As expected, he was overjoyed, both because he’d made a difficult shot and because he would be $100 richer.

We both whooped and screamed at his triumph. It was a great moment for each of us to savor.

Of course, you may be wondering what happened next.

Well, I don’t usually carry an extra $100 in cash in my wallet, so I couldn’t give it to him when he ran up to me and asked for his payout. He knew we’d be seeing each other the next day, so I told him he could have it then, which seemed to appease him.

Now, $100 is a pretty significant amount of money and there are those in the world who like to offer promises but have no intentions of delivering. They find ways to wiggle out of their agreements. Adults are particularly adept at this, especially when it comes to comes to children. They make a case that they didn’t really mean it or that they were just kidding, or they’d be happy to pay some lesser amount.

I did not want to be one of these adults.

I want my word to mean something, so that when I give it, others can rely on it, especially children. They are often told untruths, led on with the sole purpose of getting them to comply or they are given something less than promised. This breeds a deep lack of trust and erodes good foundations.

I knew that delivering on my promise was entirely up to me. No one could make me pay up and I could have chosen to convince myself that I was joking about my offer. But what would that teach him about me? What would it teach me about myself?

The next night our extended family was going out to dinner together. When everyone sat down, I asked Evan to come over to me. I took out five twenty-dollar bills and handed them to him. His face lit up. I could tell his nine-year-old brain was contemplating what he could do with his winnings.

I asked him if he thought that I would actually pay him the $100. He looked at me and responded with a ‘yes’. I wanted to satisfy my curiosity, so I asked him what he would have thought if I didn’t keep my word and pay him. He looked straight into my eyes and said, “I would have thought that you don’t tell the truth.”

And there it was. Exactly what I thought. He would have lumped me in with all those who lie to him or those who cannot be trusted.

Deep inside me, I knew without hesitation that this was a defining moment for us. He may not always believe me, but for right now, our foundation is strong, and our eyes can see each other’s truth.

To me, $100 is a small price to pay for his belief in me.

What is your word worth to you?

Does it represent who you are as a person in this world? Can you be counted on to deliver what you promise? Is it important that you live up to your own truth?

My hope is that I can always answer these questions from a place of inner conviction, knowing I have a strong foundation.

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What Can You Hear

Welcome to my first post for 2024. It’s wonderful to have you here with me. I’m constantly surprised and delighted that I am still writing and connecting with you. Back in October 2020 when I began, I had no idea how this would go. I wasn’t even certain that I would be able to manage technologically to maintain my website and process posts for you to see.

So, thank you for being here and for the comments you’ve passed along to me. It really means a lot that you take the time to let me know you’re out there.

During the three plus years I’ve allowed myself to tell you my truth and to share my story, realizing that it was possible that only some of you would remain interested, because it’s not an ordinary story.

But are any of our stories ordinary? Is yours?

I strongly tend to doubt it. We all live such fantastic lives no matter how common they seem at times. When we choose to open ourselves and let our divine essence run free, to explore and experiment, to offer honesty and light to each other, all of our worlds expand.

It took me a lot of years to let go of being small and hiding my light from all but a few. For me, it became necessary to release, to let go of everything that was holding me back.

I wonder, do you ever feel this way? Do you sense an absolute joy deep inside you, but are reluctant to bring it out in the open?

Does that feel too threatening somehow? Too intense? To revealing?

That is actually a large part of why I write these posts. I want to encourage you to step into your own magical, mystical, brilliant light. I know it’s there inside of you waiting. Waiting for you to decide what’s to be gained or lost.

I want to know what you can hear if you listen closely to your heart.

I had to know, no matter what the potential cost would be to me. I had to know for sure. And so, I wrote and wrote and wrote some more, until all of the fluff was gone. Until I was deep enough for the truth to come out, the honesty.

Maybe you need an example, a possible route to follow. When I gave myself permission to reveal my true feelings, this is what happened. I came into contact with god. We spoke to each other. This time it was a male voice. Without having to ask, I knew the voice was also a part of me, not separate, but the same.

I offer this conversation as one way you could begin. There are so many ways, enough so that anyone can find their own depth, their own center and balance.

I wonder what you hear

When you lean in close

Is it the sound of a sweet voice

Can you feel he loves you

Are you filled with hurting

Do you overflow with pain

Do you want to be close

Taken under his wing

Do you dream of belonging

Do you have hope for the future

Has the world often crushed you

Has it broken your heart

Do you need some salvation

Have you trusted the wrong ones

Have you hit lots of dead ends

Is your faith in the dust

Time to know something new

Time to let go this life

Time to open in all ways

To see his beautiful face

Nothing required

And nothing demanded

Just say one word

Just open the door

He is always waiting

He walks beside you

His hand is wide open

To take yours and mine

The dream is for real life

To spend it connected

To love every other

As much as we can

May your pathway become clear, and your truth be revealed. Without needing to know you directly, I can tell you, I love you.

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New Year Love

I’ve chosen to repeat my post from the end of 2020 because I still believe it represents the truth and I wanted to remind you about it. So, here it is.

I wonder what you want from this life. If you were given a notebook or a journal or a clean slate, what would you write on it?

Here’s a choice…you can stop reading this post for a few minutes and write down the first things that come to you or you can keep reading and perhaps, if you’re interested, do this later (although I may spoil it a little with the rest of this post).

This isn’t the typical New Year’s resolutions, nor a list of challenging items to attempt to accomplish. Rather, it’s a wish list of the experiences you most want to have this time around.

Now, what would happen if I asked you to narrow your list down to only one thing. Would that be difficult for you?

I think it is often the case that we have so many options it becomes challenging to sort through them and choose only the ones that we think will make us happy.

Years ago, Maureen and I were in San Diego and went to brunch at the Hotel Del Coronado. It was incredible. I think they boasted that they had over 130 selections to choose from. It was overwhelming and almost everything looked delicious. I seriously doubt whether anyone left there without a massive stomach ache. They should have handed out Tums as folks walked out the door.

That’s how it can be when we’re given too many choices. Often, we want more things than we can manage. That’s my reason for asking you to narrow your list to only one item. To gain some clarity and focus.

I want to share with you what I chose.

I want to feel loved and that it makes a difference that I’m here on this earth.

I am profoundly grateful that there are those in my life who tell me that they love me and that I make a difference in their lives.

But sometimes, I only hear long after the fact that what I did or said, reached someone. I long to be a part of others’ lives, connecting deeply them. I want them to know that I love them.

From time to time, there is an aloneness that comes to join me. When this happens, it is hard to feel others love for me.

In one of those moments, I asked Lia (a feminine part of god I know as Love In Action) about this and was surprised by her answer.

She said, “YOU are always free to do this…to offer love to yourself and to others. And you can always talk with me and I will tell you the truth…you are made from pure love.  You needn’t be troubled by your own misperception that you are anything else but love. The truth remains the truth, that you and I are ONE. One pure love.”

I don’t know about you, but for some reason it’s hard for me to tell myself that I love me. It’s only on my wisest days, that I can hold still, take a calming breathe and tell myself that I love me and that I know it matters that I’m here. That I have a purpose and a mission.

Lia offers this reminder, “It is the same for every one of you. You all want to know and feel love. I ask that you believe me, that you are love.”

My hope for you, heading into this new year, is that you know love and feel loved. It’s truly the reason why I write these posts.

Thank you for allowing me to repeat this. My next post will be new, I promise.

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What Will You Remember Most

I ran across an email about Charles Schultz philosophy on life. In case the name didn’t register right away, Charles Schultz is the creator of the comic characters of Peanuts…think Charlie Brown, Lucy, Snoopy and the gang.

If you’ve read his comic columns, you’ll know he packs a lot of wisdom into a few short entries. Clearly his work is beloved by millions, as evidenced by the long tenure of its appearance around the world.

I’m not sure if the quiz in the email is his or someone else’s but either way, it’s pretty valuable and I wanted to pass it along to you.

It starts with a series of questions. See if you can answer any of them.

  1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
  2. Name the last five Heisman Trophy winners.
  3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America contest.
  4. Name ten people who have won the Noble or Pulitzer prize.
  5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.
  6. Name the last decade’s worth of World Series winners.

How do you think you did? I’m sure my score would be abysmal, but that’s exactly the point.

We’re not very good at remembering the headliners of yesterday, despite the fact that they were the best in their fields at the time.

Their applause died. Their awards have perhaps become meaningless. Their achievements mostly forgotten.

There is a second quiz and I’m sure you’ll do very well on it.

  1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.
  2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
  3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.
  4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.
  5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.
  6. Name a half dozen heroes whose stories have inspired you.

How did that go?

For me, it was not only easier but was much more pleasurable. I loved being able to bring such beautiful, special, blessed people back into my mind. To travel a little more with them.

But one more thing happened. It made me want to reconnect with some of them in person, or at least by email or phone, if they live far away.

The initiator of this quiz, whether it was Charles Schultz or someone else, helps us see that the people who make a difference in our lives are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money or the most awards.

They are the ones who care about us. Who spend time in our presence, help nourish us with food or ideas or their divine essence.

And I believe the same is true of us. We are involved in others’ lives because we love them and want them to have a healthy, meaningful, joyous life.

So, here’s my addition…a third quiz for you (and for me).

  1. Who do you want to spend more quality time with?
  2. When do you want to make that happen?
  3. What joy do you want to enter your life?
  4. What are you prepared to give and to receive?

Because the New Year is coming, it feels like a great time to make some new things happen.

When I think about it, it matters what I choose, because when my life draws down toward the end, I want to know what my answers will be to the question…what will you remember most.

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The Greatest Good

Have you ever wondered what the ‘greatest good’ actually means and how it applies to your life?

In the circles I run in, it’s a pretty commonly used term. Most who use it point to things that happen in life that may at first appear to be ‘negative’, but when viewed from a different perspective, are actually ‘positive’ and yield desirable outcomes.

The trick is to see how this could possibly be true.

Appearances are usually very strong and hard to see beyond and our idea of ‘fairness’ enters the picture, sometimes with a vengeance. We often can’t accept the negative events as integral parts of our lives and don’t see that they can lead to some pretty fantastic results.

This whole process requires a mind shift. In order to see how life is always serving us, we have to be open to new perspectives. That’s a very hard thing when what we’re experiencing is a life that feels so painful.

I’ve struggled with this concept. I’ve had some successes, but also some abysmal failures at seeing into the distance far enough to accept or embrace the challenges I’ve faced as being part of a ‘positive’ path.

I’ve found that it requires constant reminders for me to remain open to the idea that all things work toward my greatest good. One day I decided to write a poem about this so that I’d have something to refer to when times were difficult for me.

It is also often the case that we want to relieve other’s suffering and pain, either directly or indirectly. We want to pray it away or wish it away. The problem is we don’t know what their greatest good is, no matter how perceptive we are.

Today, I’d like to share a poem with you, in the hopes that it might help you on your journey, both for yourself and for those you love.

Here it is, my friends.

There is a real beauty to our lives

Which sometimes fades

In the face of hardship

We feel the loss

And seek to restore our body

And make whole our spirit

Others open to us

Such loving

Beautiful souls

They want to share from their heart

Yet they too face a challenge

How do they live through their expectations

I hear them

They talk about letting go of the outcome

They speak about our highest, our greatest good

This is the tricky part

How is one to know another’s highest good

How is one to know that the greatest good may require

Descending deeper into suffering or sorrow

To follow a dark path before

Arising into bright light

How is one to know what is right for another

Since it can be so hard to see beyond the small slice of life

We become aware of

How do we rise above the challenge of the hoped for improvements

The desire for the lessening of another’s suffering

And the hope for reduction of their pain

Someone offers a consideration for us

They ask us

What about the idea

That the seeker is the one in charge

Of how much healing occurs

They ask us

What about the idea

That it is not the case of what

One is able to channel

As it is what the seeker chooses to allow in

And what of the idea

That the seekers spirit knows

What is best for their body and mind and heart

And that it always chooses wisely

That it is eminently trustworthy

And that the seeker will receive exactly

The right amount of energy

To sustain them

And what of the idea

That it is possible for both the seeker

And the channeler

To trust that the perfect plan is at work

For each of us

All the time

And therefore

To know

To feel certain

That no matter how it seems

Whether the outside pain

Grows or lessens

Intensifies or vanishes

That everything happens

Exactly as it ought

Is that amount of trust within us

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How You Love Me

If you’ve been reading my posts already, you’ll know that I have a very intimate relationship with the divine. We have conversations all the time. It can be when I have loads of time on my hands and we can have an hour or two long dialogues or it can be a brief inner talk while waiting in line somewhere.

I often wonder what you as a reader think when I say things like this.

Do you have your own conversations with the divine, so it seems normal to you? Or do you want to have a dialogue, but aren’t sure if it would work or what you would say or whether the divine would respond to you?

Do you think I am out of my head?

I probably am because I’m more fully in my heart and connected to spirit. I’ve been having conversations for so many years that I don’t think about whether they are real or possible or normal. They just happen.

One of the benefits of this is that I get to share them with you. If you’d like to engage in your own, please do. For me, all that is ‘required’ is to conceive the conversation is possible, to do your best to believe it and then give yourself some time to open, be quiet, then ask the divine to speak with you.

Often, I am overwhelmed with a sense of awe, wonder and a deep connection of love between us. I’d like to share one such ‘conversation’, which was really a love poem offered to me.

“How you love me”

I felt you speak to me

In answer to the opening of my heart

You let me know that the eventual

And ultimate outcome is already certain…

I come back to you

There is nothing quite as beautiful as this

In all of the world

To know you love me so much

That you want me back

In the meantime

It is so wonderful to know that

You do not require, expect or demand

Anything from me

And that your advice

Is just that…

Advice

It is meant to aid me in being happy

For that is what you want

What our dream and reality is about

You suggest

That I treasure each moment

That I accept and love

This moment

The only moment that actually exists

And if there are things I don’t like

To kiss them and let them go

Your voice is soft in saying

Love the moment

And let it go

You hear the noise inside me

And ask me to recognize

That when I feel weight on me

To see it, breathe it and release it

And know that you are not the source of this weight

You are never the source of it

You remind me again

If you don’t like it

Love it and let it go

You counsel

Be attentive

Be aware

Breathe

Remember always to breathe

Remember too

You get to choose

And choosing creates your reality

If it is not what you want

Or who you want to be

Simply choose differently

Until it is consistent

With whom you want to be

And what you want to experience

It may sound too simple

But I hear clearly you say,

Choose on purpose

Choose what you do

And be a reflection of the best you

You can be

And please know this

It is okay

To do it your own way

There is no need to please others

Just be you

And feel good about being you

I know that you know everything

And I am so happy to finally realize

That

I am enough

I have enough

I do enough

And

There is enough of everything

I am content now

Even though

I see only a small piece of the puzzle

I don’t need to know everything any more

What liberation that is to me

I am not responsible to judge anyone

What freedom this brings to me

I thank you for these dawning’s

They help me float above the surface

Of the world

And draw me closer to you

To love

My heart soars

With gratitude.

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Good Advice

I love reading the thoughts and advice of folks who have been around the block a time or two. I’m fast approaching their age and have seen for myself how valuable listening to others wisdom can positively impact my life.

I’d like to share something written by Regina Brett, a 90-year-old woman from Cleveland, Ohio. Her advice was printed in the local newspaper, The Plain Dealer.

She offers 45 lessons life has taught her. Obviously, they may not all apply to each of us, but there are so many good ones. I thought I’d pass them all along to you and you can decide for yourself which ones might make your world a better place.

Occasionally, I’ve added my own editorial comment in parentheses after her suggestion.

Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good

When in doubt, just take the next small step.

Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will. Stay in touch.

Pay off your credit cards every month.

You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.

It’s okay to get angry with God. He can take it. (or substitute ‘She’ or other pronoun or your word for God)

Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up your present.

It’s okay to let your children see you cry. (even if you are a man)

Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.

Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry, God never blinks.

Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.

Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger. (Not so sure about this one)

It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is you to you and no one else.

When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer. (as long as it doesn’t hurt others)

Burn the candle, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie, don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

Over prepare, then go with the flow.

Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.

The most important sex organ is the brain.

No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

Frame every so-called disaster with these words, “In five years will this matter?”

Always choose life.

Forgive everyone everything.

What other people think of you is none of your business.

Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

Believe in miracles.

God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.

Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

Growing old beats the alternative– dying young.

Your children get only one childhood.

All that truly matter in the end is that you loved.

Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.

Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

The best is yet to come.

No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

Yield.

Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s a gift.

So, there they are. I hope some of them are worth taking along on your life journey. Be well.

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Special Connections

One of the most beautiful things about life to me is that anything can become a beautiful divine moment.

It may be momentary, like a dew drop laying on a spider web glistening in the sun. Or it could be a lifetime friendship that begins with one word.

Never knowing feels like part of the magic and mystery. I’ve had lots of these moments during my life. I wait and I watch for them. I encourage them and it feels like more come when I am paying attention to life, rather than getting caught up in daily routines.

I worked for a non-profit agency and one of the opportunities each employee was offered was to wrap Christmas and Hannukah gifts at a local bookstore. Whatever the purchaser paid would be given to our agency to help fund our outreach into the community.

There was a sign-up sheet posted so I decided to book myself for an hour or two. I didn’t know very many of our staff at the time since I was new to the organization. That didn’t matter really because it seemed like such a nice thing to do and maybe I’d get to know someone better.

Well, imagine two strangers sitting waiting for folks to stop by and ask them to wrap presents. What else is there to do but talk? Ordinarily talk is about the weather or what you did over the weekend, not about things that really matter. Not about sharing from your depth with someone you barely know. Not about meeting somewhere in the middle of our earthly existence to see past everything else, to someone’s core. And not about saying out loud what you’ve never said before. Not about showing trust and not about believing someone could care enough to hear what you have to say.

These things just don’t happen.

But, in this case, that’s exactly what did happen.

I met a new friend, Carla, who would become one of my all-time favorite people and despite the fact that we live over a thousand miles away from each other and don’t talk very often, I still know in my heart we are deeply connected.

No subject seemed to be off the table that day while wrapping presents. We moved easily from one subject to the next. And we thoroughly enjoyed interacting with our customers, feeding of each other’s pleasure and the magic of the season.

I enjoyed the experience so much that I cut out a section of the paper we were using to wrap presents and wrote our names and the date on it and placed it on my bulletin board at work. It remained there for the thirteen years I worked there and came home with me.

Is it possible for me to tell anyone else how I’ve changed because someone else trusted me enough to be honest with me? Did I know then what beauty would be mine today because someone shared their truth with me?

It is one of those rare times when the giving and receiving mixed so thoroughly that we could not tell one from the other.

So, what did I learn that day?

Plenty. I learned that when you offer yourself the freedom to be a part of someone else’s life, you always profit, even if for only a moment. I learned that sharing is one of life’s most treasured gifts. I learned that taking one step can lead to a whole lifetime of rewards. I learned that by allowing myself to be honest, open, and trusting, I gain trust, openness, and honesty in return.

And I learned that there is magic and mystery in every moment I am prepared to give myself. I believe this is something worth remembering.

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Another View of Death

I realize that death is a very difficult topic for many people, both when thinking about the death of others and as it pertains to themselves.


We’re generally steeped in our cultural and religious views and tend to accept whatever we’ve been told since we were children. Perhaps every so often we’ll challenge some of what others told us, but mostly I think we run on autopilot, treating the whole issue of death based on how our parents or other influential people in our lives trained us.

I’m not sure exactly why, but I don’t automatically accept what others tell me. I’ve had to figure most things out for myself, to have them fit together in a way that makes sense to me or at least line up in some kind of order.

So, when I think about the subject of death, I challenge myself to see it from different perspectives.

One example of this is a poem I wrote. I wanted to explore with an open mind, so I sat and allowed thoughts, ideas, and pictures to form.

Here’s what came through me.

Death

God’s most misunderstood child

A child I’ve known and come to love completely

A guardian of the gate, a part of the dark mist before the veil

The first to welcome you back

before any of the bright lights appear

A beautiful poet with words that are music

An usher toward your own destination

according to your own beliefs

A friend who has waited patiently

for the moment of your choosing

How divine to know that true life begins with this child

What peace to know love and bliss share this child’s name

How thankful for this I am.

I feel a need to explain a little and to give you some context.

I have memories of life in heaven before I came to earth. They are mostly images and feelings and very difficult to translate into words. I think that’s the way it is with some things, they transcend what we are able to communicate to each other.

The poem attempts to offer an alternate view by sharing that death is a transition back to a place of love and bliss. I absolutely believe this. I know this because I’ve been there and will return once this earthly life is over. There is enormous peace in this.

I fully recognize that we all have your own set of beliefs surrounding death and that many of them are based on how deeply we miss those who have died, especially if it was under horrible circumstances.

I’m not saying that the associations with death are not painful or are easy to manage, but I do feel there is something important about knowing where we and those we love go to next, that can alter how we feel about death.

From my perspective of having been in heaven before coming here, I understand there is something very important to remember.

It may not feel right to you, because we judge things solely from our earth world perspective, but what I remember is that every essence is there in heaven. No essence is excluded, regardless of what role they played while on earth. We all came from heaven, and we all return to heaven, pure and sacred. And because of this, death means something different to me. Not an end, but a new beginning. A reunion with the divine.

There is a guardian at the gate who never judges, never refuses. They always welcome every essence back, because it is everyone’s home. Death is just the doorway we enter from.

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Teachers

Do you have a favorite teacher?

I’d be curious what it is or was about them that made them your choice. Maybe they brought something out of you that you didn’t think you had. Maybe they encouraged you, gave you emotional support as well as knowledge or perhaps they demonstrated a belief in you that inspired you. It could also be they lead by example, showing you what was possible.

When I think about the teachers from my past, there are several who stand out.

When my family moved from Watertown to Delmar, New York when I was eight years old, I was signed up to go to Elementary school a couple blocks from our house. Although I’d completed third grade, my new school wanted me to repeat it because I’d missed too many days. They were adamant, regardless of the fact that all of the days were due to excessive snow fall during the winter.

I was not happy and didn’t want to repeat third grade. After a week or so it was apparent that I had learned the third grade material, so I was allowed to move back up to fourth grade. Since I was new to the school, I didn’t know anyone, either in third or fourth grade and that made the situation even more difficult for me.

But things changed for me the moment I met my fourth grade teacher, Mrs. Hosey. She treated me as if she’d known me all my life. I didn’t get preferential treatment, I got the same love, caring and devotion she gave to all of her students.

The whole year was magical. She helped make everything interesting and she found a special place in my heart.

I guess I made an impression on her too because about eighteen years later she made a special trip to open up a new account with me at a bank I was working at. She said she wanted to support me in my career. What an incredible gift she gave me, to know that I was loved.

When I went to college I felt completely out of water. Everything seemed challenging and I relied on my college advisor to smooth some of the way. Unfortunately, she recommended a four-credit science class more suited to pre-med students than to me for my first term. I got a D minus which wreaked havoc with my cumulative average. In fact, it landed me on academic probation. If I didn’t get my act together, I was going to Viet Nam.

Here’s where things changed again. Enter another one of my favorite teachers, Dr. Keiter from the Religion department. He taught a fascinating course and we clicked. I got an A minus and dug myself out of the hole I was in. Better than that, I found a kindred spirit. I took every course I could with Dr. Keiter and found them all extremely worthwhile. He was approachable, thoughtful, curious, and appreciative, all qualities every great teacher possesses.

The other college professor who helped change my life was, Dr. Bocher, who taught a course titled, Conversations In Biology. If I had taken that course first, I might have pursued a career in science, because she made it both intriguing and delightful. With her passion and teaching style I understood at a basic level, then was able to extend to more and more complex concepts. She was also approachable and would answer all my questions, often remaining after class to do so.

Many years after graduating I saw a notice in my college newsletter stating that Dr. Bocher was in an Assisted Living facility and would love to hear from past students. I jumped at the chance to tell her how much she meant to me. I never received a response but am trusting that she got my letter and knew how important she was to me and how significantly she’d influenced my life.

So, when you think back about the teachers in your life, are there some who helped inspire you or changed your life in certain ways? Perhaps you are a teacher and do this for others. If so, bless you.

I think in many ways we are all each other’s teachers.

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Feel Good Opportunity

I confess, I look forward to any opportunity to increase my sense of happiness and joy. Perhaps you do to.

Well, I have a suggestion for you. But first I want to preface by saying that I received this idea one day via email at work. I was so impressed and excited, I decided to invite my coworkers to join me in giving it a try.

Here’s the email I received.

One day a teacher asked her students to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving space in between each name. Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down. It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed in the papers. That Saturday the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a separate piece of paper. And listed what everyone said about that individual. On Monday, she gave each student his or her list. Before long the entire class was smiling. “Really?”, she heard whispered. “I never knew I meant anything to anyone!” and “I didn’t know others liked me so much”, were most of the comments. No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. She never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn’t matter. The exercise accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and with one another. That group of students moved on. Several years later, one of the students was killed in Viet Nam and the teacher attended his funeral. She had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin. He looked so handsome and mature. The church was packed with his friends. One by one those who loved him took a walk by his coffin. The teacher was the last to bless the coffin. As she stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as a pallbearer came up to her. “Were you Mark’s math teacher?” She nodded, “yes”. Then he said, “Mark talked about you a lot.” After the funeral, most of Mark’s former classmates went together to a luncheon. Mark’s mother and father were there, obviously waiting to speak to his teacher, “We want to show you something,” his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket. “they found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it.” Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded, and refolded many times. The teacher knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which she had listed all the good things Mark’s classmates had said about him. “Thank you so much for doing that,” Mark’s mother said. “As you can see, Mark treasured it.” All of Marks’ former classmates started to gather around. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, “I still have my list. It’s in the top drawer of my desk at home.” Chuck’s wife said, “Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album.” “I have mine too,” Marilyn said, “It’s in my diary.” Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group, “I carry this with me at all times. Vicki said without batting an eyelash, “I think we all saved our lists.” That’s when the teacher finally sat down and cried. She cried for Mark and for all his friends who would never see him again.

This story had such a profound impact on me that I decided to try it at work. I had no idea whether my coworkers would participate, but I hoped they would. I explained the idea and provided an employee list of everyone at our agency, leaving space for them to make positive comments and telling them they could use the back of the paper too, if they wanted. I gave them some time to complete it and return it to me and told them I would give each of them their custom list with everyone ese’s comments once I had a chance to write them out.

I wondered if there would be any crazy comments that I might feel compelled to edit but there weren’t. They were all wonderful and very complimentary. It was a joy to complete each employees list and to see what they all said about me.

I handed each person their list.

As with the teacher, I didn’t hear much feedback, only that it was a nice thing to do.

Personally, I love my list. There were so many complimentary things said about me. I immediately posted on my office bulletin board and often stood in front of it and reread them all, especially on some of my tougher days at work.

Many years later, I still have my list and every once in a while, I’ll run into a former coworker, and they’ll tell me they still have theirs too. So cool!

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Letting Go

I made a promise to myself in October of 2020, that when I started writing these posts twice a week, I would be honest. I would tell my story without holding back. Without being afraid you, as a reader, would turn away from me.

Without the truth, what do we have?

Today I want to share a poem I wrote several years ago. It was true then and is true now.

Since I was young, I’ve felt a special connection to Jesus, who I now call, Yeshiwa (Yeshua), his name in his native tongue of Aramaic. I wrote this poem as a conversation between us, a way of gaining a better understanding of my life and finding a way of letting go.

I’m sure you have your own sense of what the truth is, and I would never ask you to accept anything I have to say (ever) if it does not feel right to you. My role in this life and with these posts is to share with you what feels true to me and invite you to decide for yourself. Being connected is its own divine gift.

So, here is my conversation.

I am connected to you

I feel it all the way through me

I know I can be you

If I am prepared

If I find the way

The narrow path

I wonder

What will I have to give up

Change, surrender, abandon

I wonder

How is it possible to open

As wide as you

What sort of strength will that take

Who can help me

Can you, do you want to

Must I make a hole in my roof

To be in your presence

I am listening closely

For your voice

Your touch

Your certain peace

My heart hears you calling me

I am invited into your courtyard

You wish to speak with me

It is hard to calm my spirit

To slow the questions

Difficult to breathe

I want to give you my heart

I volunteer it

You say that it is not necessary

That you have your own

That I need mine

You want to make sure

I am listening

So you wait

Till my eyes are soft

My heart quiet

I hear your words

Inside of me

Hard words for me to understand.

You tell me not to try to be you

There is only ever going to be

One of you

I misunderstand

I think inside me

A soft scolding

How could I think I could be you

But that’s not it

It’s not what you meant

You were clear

But I am cloudy

You try again

You ask a part of me to let go

To relax into silence

So I can truly hear you

I ask my ego

To lie down

And take a nap

And when I hear it snoring

I open as wide as I can

And you start again

You say there is only ever

One of each of us

We are different grains of sand that make up the beach

This is how it is

And it is beautiful this way

You fill me

With wonder

You tell me

That all of my trying

Has both made me who I am

And kept me from being who

I can be

And that it is time

To decide

There is no wrong decision

I can stay where I am

I love and am loved

Right where I am

And no harm will come to me

From not moving

From this place

Yet

I know

There is something ahead

Calling to me

I hear the most beautiful music

Pulling me

Gently into the light

Oh, the hallowed light

No more a dream

But real

How long I have waited

For this

You smile

You guide

You take my hand in yours

I could die happily

Right now in your arms

Oh, to be with you

I look into your eyes

I hear you

I hear you tell me

We are all each other’s saviors

There are other things

You want me to know

Am I ready

To hear them

I surely hope so

It feels as though a great deal

Depends on it

I hear you speak of freedom

Of letting my spirit go

Just simply letting go

I hear you tell me

To trust you

To trust me

That all this holding

All this planning

All this fear

About the future

About my present

It is so unnecessary

There is so much pain

Doubt

So many tears

You tell me

It was never meant to be this way

And that I never meant

To live this way

But somehow

I changed my mind

And although it has taken

A long time

I see now

Where my heart truly belongs

You ask me

If I am ready

I hear my own voice

Saying

Yes, I am ready

So ready

Now what

I ask

You breathe words into me

Give it all away

You say

Every last thing

Hold nothing

Hold nothing back

Hold nothing in

Let it all be free

Part of me understands this

Part does not

How

How is this done

I want to

I want to let go

Of everything

I can not hold the weight of it any more

I don’t want to

Are you sure

I ask myself

It’s hard to let go

Even though it is what I want

What I need

So I come to this

It is up to me to choose

And so I do

I choose to let go

And I feel

Something

Sacred happen

And

It feels like home

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Seeing Clearly

Do you know who you are?

Perhaps you get lost in the grand illusion of this life, making it difficult to see yourself clearly. Maybe you keep track of all of the events in your life, many of which you criticize yourself for, so that you experience challenges, and your true self remains hidden.

It is so easy to see only the surface of our lives, to score every perceived failure, to lament very unattained goal. We are tempted to regret every harsh word and gesture done by us or done to us.

Perhaps your anger holds you tightly in its grasp or you feel closed off from the world, drawn inward, needing to protect yourself. Maybe you are afraid to open to love, to be loved. Maybe the surface of your life is too real for you, and you find it hard to imagine knowing you are more than this. So much more than this.

Would you like to see with new eyes? With a new heart, one that sees the truth, the truth of who you really are?

Close your eyes for a moment. Imagine your eyes being washed, cleaned, refreshed, ready for new vision. Open your eyes and open your heart. Imagine you are facing a mirror. Allow your gaze to fall upon your reflection. Look deeply into your own eyes and know there is a depth to them that is infinite and that is connected to the one source of all power and love. To the divine center of all creation.

This is who you are…the eyes of love, able to see into every darkness and bring it light. Able to renew and refresh, to start again. And this time, to start with the awareness that you are made entirely of love. A radiance and brilliance beyond your present imagining. You are connected to the source of love. Connected in such a way that you will always be able to feel it.

This is who you truly are, love incarnate in the world. You are a part of the divine, living and moving in this beautiful world. In all things, you can choose the path of love. You are love.

Because you have been in this world for some time now and have listened carefully to what it says, you may be having a hard time believing this.

You might be asking yourself, how can such a claim be made? Where is the evidence…the proof of this?

You might not be prepared to take my word for it. I understand this. We’ve received so much training that opposes this perspective. We look around and notice how people are treated and can not reconcile how, if we are all love, how can so many hurtful things be happening?

So let me ask a question.

How can we see clearly that we are love and came from love when our observations of this world show us hatred, jealousy, contempt, oppression…and other manifestations of fear?

My answer is straightforward…we choose what to see and what to believe. And once the choice is made, we experience the outcome.

I believe that before we came to this earth, we existed as pure love. It is our true essence. However, since we have the gift of free will, we can choose any experience here on earth. If we choose fear, in any of its forms, we release our awareness of love and are trapped inside fear. From this place love appear unreal.

So, I invite you to choose wisely. When a decision point is reached, consider what you would like to experience the most in this world. Do you want to live in fear, or do you want to choose a loving path, one that connects you with others, supports you, encourages you, makes your life better?

It really is all about the clarity of our vision. Can we see what will come of our decisions? The better we can, the more wonderful a life we will lead. And knowing we are made of love can help us make an aligned choice, one that comes from our loving heart.

I hope you live seeing clearly.

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Everyone Is Worthy

I want to share a story from my life with you.

I know from personal experience, as I’m sure you do too, that sometimes we’re not treated as if we are worthy. It isn’t a very good feeling. I try to remember this and acknowledge the innate value we each possess.

One day many years ago, during a particularly hot summer, a man rang our doorbell. As I opened the door he stepped back and began his speech. He was trying to sell magazines to fund his tuition for college. He said it was a special program designed for people like him. Before I could ask, he told me who ‘people like him’ were. He’d had a tough youth, which was another way of saying he’d been in trouble all his life. He told me he’d grown up in the projects in downtown Albany and used to sell crack. He said he was really good at it, but not good enough. He finally learned you couldn’t survive very long doing that.

I think it’s possible to tell if another person is lying to you by looking into their eyes, if you can look long enough. I also think there are people who can stand the stare for a long time without showing the truth. I knew I wouldn’t have the length of time it would take, so I just decided to believe him.

I wasn’t the only one home that day. My son, Tommy, was there too. He was playing games in his bedroom, like any other eight-year-old would do and waiting for me to come back. I guess I was gone too long, so he came looking for me. He found me sitting on the front porch talking with a man he didn’t know. He watched and listened to us through the screen door. After a couple of minutes, he came out, sat next to me, and asked what we were doing. The man showed him the magazine choices we could make and made sure Tommy saw the one all about video games. He told Tommy that the subscription prices were the best and it would help him to be able to go to college and change his life. He told Tommy a bit about how it was for him growing up and how much trouble he’d gotten into. And that he’d been really bad but was hoping to get another chance. The order form had other people’s names on it, and he hoped we’d sign up for a couple of magazines. Tommy and I looked the form over. Tommy quietly looked up at me and said, “are we really going to order these Dad?”. I told him we were, and he looked at me with a funny, questioning expression.

The man seemed pleased with our order and told me he’d accept cash or a check. I asked him if he was thirsty and when he said yes, I offered him a soda, which he happily accepted. I went inside to get the soda and a check. I gave them to him, and we talked about things for a while. He wasn’t in a big hurry and seemed to like hanging around with us. Somehow, we got on to the subject of birthdays. I asked him if he could wait a minute because I had something for him, but I had to get it from inside the house. He said he’d wait. After a minute I was back and he eyed me kind of sideways, trying to figure out what I was doing.

I handed him some folded bills and told him it might help with his second chance. He looked at me in a way no one else ever had. It was part surprise and part disbelief. A look I’ll never forget.

He asked me why I was doing this. I asked if he had a birthday and he said, “sure.” I told him that as far as I was concerned, today was his birthday and this was his birthday gift.

He just sat there shaking his head for a long, long time. His eyes got a little misty and he looked away. When he looked back at me, he said, “nobody has ever done anything like this for me.” It apparently was beyond him to understand why anyone would do such a thing for someone they didn’t even know. In that moment, truth came into his eyes. The truth about the magazines and the truth about his second chance. He left a little while later. As he walked away Tommy asked me whether we were ever going to see the magazines. I told him that I didn’t think so. That same puzzled look came back to him, and he looked up at me saying, “then why did you give him the money?”

The man, who was almost to the corner by now, turned back to us. He smiled and waved. I looked down at Tommy and said, “that’s why.”

We never did get the magazines. And I never saw the man again. But it really doesn’t matter to me because we all changed that day and it is still one of my favorite days ever.

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Contradictions

How do you deal with contradictions in your life?

Are they easy for you to separate into decipherable components or do they pose serious challenges for you? Navigating contradictions seems to be a part of our lives, whether we like it or not.

Here are two examples of contradictions in the English language.

The word sanction can mean either to give official permission or approval OR conversely, to impose a penalty. Imagine the difficulty that would be created if someone used the word, sanction, and you weren’t sure what they meant.

Then there is the word, oversight, which means both to oversee or supervise someone or something OR to fail to see, observe, or to disregard or ignore something.

This is only one challenge faced by those attempting to learn English. There are so many others, but I’m focusing on the particular dilemma created when the same word has two opposing meaning.

You may be wondering, does this happen in our daily lives or you may see the connection immediately.

The messages we receive every moment of our lives can have this same kind of effect on us, forcing us to determine which meaning we are supposed to understand.

Often, we have to listen to the tone of voice used or the volume of the speaker or the gestures they use when they talk, further complicating the situation.

I find that I confuse people sometimes. I think I’m being clear, but they don’t respond the way I expect. Either it’s me or it’s them or there are just too many ways to interpret the words I used.

On the receiving end, it’s the same thing. Even when I listen carefully, I sometimes don’t get what they’re saying and sometimes it seems contradictory, especially if they aren’t patient. If either one of us gets angry or frustrated, things seem to go off track.

Okay, so I’ve illustrated a problem I encounter and perhaps you do too, so now what?

One answer that comes to me is not one I used to be good at, but after having practiced a lot, I’m getting better.

Ask.

I find that it’s unrealistic for me to be clear every time I speak and it’s equally unfair to expect this of anyone else. We have lots of things on our minds. We have different goals, patience levels, available time, and communication skills.

But we can each ask questions. If something is unclear, we can pause the conversation and ask what the other person means. We can paraphrase what they’ve said and ask if we understand correctly. And we can ask as soon as we have a question, so that we don’t get lost before the next step in the conversation.

I know this seems simple and it is, but we may feel that we ‘should’ understand already and by asking a question we risk giving the other person the impression that we are not smart enough to follow what they’re saying. Or that they may get annoyed with us for interrupting them.

To me, some of the most important benefits of asking questions during conversations is that we can feel in sync with others, and better understand them so that we receive valuable information or become more sensitive to their feelings or to convey our feelings to them.

Without asking questions how else can we do that?

During my life I’ve discovered the incredible power that questions possess. They invite and offer depth of connection with others and it only takes a second to ask a question.

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Biases

I wonder, how many of my biases am I in charge of? Can I escape any of them? Can I blame them on my cultural training or the belief systems I’ve adopted from those who’ve influenced me?

Part of me wants to accept this, but another part responds simply with an old-time expression which dates me, “what a cop out”, which loosely translates as, I’m in charge of my own decisions and can’t blame anything or anyone else. I have to own it.

I don’t like the way I feel when my biases get out of their cages. It rattles me and fills me with a sense of unhappiness.

It’s as if there is some tiny war being fought inside of me, with opposing forces that clash with no clear winner, just a repeating dynamic where one part is upset with a person or action, while another part preaches tolerance and acceptance.

I desperately want to break this cycle, but how?

To begin with, maybe it would be helpful to reframe my aim. Using the word, ‘break’, implies a struggle and I find that when any internal struggling is involved it creates its own challenge, because a part of me seems to know I can’t fix anything while still divided within myself.

I think, maybe I can shift my perspective and find a way to create a collaborative approach, one that seeks a peaceful solution, free from blame or shame. That feels better.

Where to start?

I wonder if it would help me to know where each bias comes from or why I still hold on to them.

I sit back and ponder this.

As with so many other things, I realize that trying to locate the source is a rabbit hole for me, a dead-end that only serves to delay addressing the real issue. Perhaps it works the same way for you.

A better way for me is to ‘head into the storm’ and focus on my bias directly. What are they really saying to me, what are they saying about me.

Why have I accepted some biases as truth? Why do some live inside of me, others do not?

I look at my biases one by one to see if there is some commonality that offers me insight and a way forward. I’m shocked by how unaccepting I can be of others’ behaviors. I didn’t think that kind of intolerance lived inside of me.

But it does.

I try to avoid blaming myself for it, knowing this will not help me or fix anything. In fact, it only complicates matters.

One striking similarity is that my biases represent my desire for others to conform to my belief system and to act the way I think they should.

WHAM! I feel the crushing weight of my word choice…SHOULD. I thought I’d dropped that word from my vocabulary, but no, it popped right out. I tried to retire the word…should…because it implies that there is only one acceptable way to do or see things and I don’t believe that. Given that I am trying to understand my predisposition regarding my own biases, it’s the perfect word to appear. It clearly shows me what I need to see.

All of my biases are about conformity with beliefs I’ve adopted. Whenever I observe actions or behaviors outside my limits, a bias kicks in.

Now I can shift my perspective and can consciously expand my range. I can loosen my hold over beliefs that don’t serve me or others. I can realize that rarely is anyone doing anything TO me. They’re just living their own lives, based on their own choices and it’s not necessary or helpful for me to have or exercise an opinion about their choices. Even more to the point, I don’t know what their life is like and have no reasonable basis for forming any opinions about them.

One final insight washes over me. It comes in the form of a question…what is the most loving action I can take?

The answer is clear to me. I can love them just as they are. That is certainly something I want to do, so I’m going to refocus my energy and try my best to do just that.

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Our Essential Nature

I believe that if we are open to learning, everything can teach us and that there is meaning in all that we experience. I also believe that there are valuable implications to everything in our lives.

Here’s an example from the other day. I grant you that at first glance it may not seem like much, but it helped me see deeper into my life.

I went to retrieve the newspaper from our front lawn. I opened the plastic bag our newspaper comes in to find that somehow the overnight rain had found its way through the bag and saturated one whole end.

Disappointed, I decided to hang each section on one of our drying racks, hoping it would be readable later in the day.

What struck me was the idea that each element, water and air, acts according to its nature.

The rain came and the water flowed naturally in all directions. It found the tiny pin hole in the plastic bag and seeped in, making part of the newspaper wet.

Water seeks to make all things wet.

Hanging the wet newspaper on the drying rack created space for the air to circulate, surrounding the paper from all directions. The air did what air does, it dried the paper.

Air seeks to make all things dry.

What has this got to do with you or me?

Quite a lot actually.

I wondered, what is my essential nature? What do I do regardless of my circumstances? How do I decide what directions to travel or what decisions to make about my life?

Fire seeks to burn everything. Earth seeks to return all things to itself.

What do I do? What governs my behaviors? What governs yours?

I want to feel joy, give and receive love, have adventures, connect deeply with others.

I want to do good things, be productive, help others, allow my heart to open wide.

What do you want to do in this world? What makes you feel most alive? What lifts you up and sets you free?

I want to be like water, air, fire, and earth. I want to move freely and act from my essential nature.

But what is my essential nature? Is it what I want, or what I feel I need or is it something else? Is it what rises out of me without any conscious thought?

For me, I believe I am here on earth to be an expression of the divine. I realize that may seem like a bold statement. That’s okay with me because I believe we’re all here for this reason, to live lives of connection, to be each other’s kin (family) and to live a joy-filled life.

I believe this is our essential nature.

Sure, other things get in the way. We become distracted by life’s events and demands. We become influenced by other’s actions and behaviors. But, if we look a bit deeper inside ourselves, I believe we’ll notice our essential nature is to be at peace, live in harmony, love and be loved. Acting from this place, we can naturally flow, just like water, air, fire, and earth.

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Facing the Right Direction

I learned an amazing fact recently about sunflowers that has a lot to do with how to live a rich, centered, balanced life.

Imagine a field full of sunflowers. Can you see it in your mind? If you need a little help, the internet has lots of photos.

If the sun is out, take a second and see what you notice.

If you said, they’re all facing the same direction, you’re correct. And the direction they’re facing is always toward the sun. Each of their faces is upturned to capture as much sunshine as possible. They’re known as heliotropic because their heads follow the sun as it arcs through the sky.

In the morning sunflowers face east and as the day progresses, they end up facing west. Even more fantastic to me is that once the sun goes down, each sunflower turns and faces east again, waiting for the sun to come up in the morning.

What I find so compelling about this is that sunflowers know instinctively what their energy source is and orient themselves around it. They know the sun will feed them, so they follow it the whole day.

What if we oriented ourselves around what truly feeds and nourishes us?

What kind of life would that provide us?

The question that arises for me is, what is the best source of nourishment? I realize that what I choose will make all of the difference in my life. This idea makes me want to choose very carefully.

If you sat back in this moment, what would you choose?

There are a lot of things to pick from. Money, fame, job advancement, athletic excellence, social influence, strong relationships, popularity.

How do you decide what to choose? Maybe, you don’t want to choose only one. Maybe you want or need more. Maybe you want them all.

Thinking about my answer prompts me to consider whether the list is complete. Are there other things more important than the ones that first came to me?

It only takes a second to reveal my answer. None of these is what I want most. None of these will nourish me over the course of my life and I would be wise to look deeper.

So, I do and discover that what truly is the source of everything valuable in my life is love. If I connect to love in every situation, like the sunflowers connect to the sun, I will always have what I need and want. I will always be fulfilled.

Recently my nine-year-old grandson asked me a fascinating question. He was in the living room and called out to me in the kitchen asking, “What’s the most powerful thing in the world?”

I thought for a moment and said, “love”.

My thirteen-year-old granddaughter overheard both his question and my answer and said to me, “I knew you’d choose that.”

So, there it was, perhaps 30 seconds of elapsed time to reveal some magic and magnificence. He asked an incredibly important question and she reflected to me her awareness, her insight into me, with my answer. I felt ‘seen’. I was touched deeply by this impromptu exchange, and I thought about sunflowers and the way they move with the sun and recognized I am like them because I move to see and feel love.

Love centers me, balances me, and gives me everything I could ever hope for.

If I was ever asked, I would encourage anyone to find their sources of love and follow them throughout the day, then sit waiting for them to appear the next morning, like the sun gazing down on a field of sunflowers.

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What Are You Looking For

Do you suppose that everyone is looking for something? Some extra portion of life? Some new spice, experience, dimension, or transition?

Are you?

If you are, do you know where to look?

This seems like a simple question, but it’s more than that. It’s the essential question. We have so many places and directions we can move, but how do we know for sure which will lead us toward what we want?

As you’ve observed by now if you’ve been with me for a while, asking questions is one of the main ways that helps me plot my course through life. Without questions, I wander, moving about aimlessly. I need focus and questions create pathways for me.

So, if you are willing, I’m going to take you on one of my journeys. In this case, it’s a somewhat poetic journey which starts with an important question. Because none of us is more important than another, sometimes it seems we don’t feel we can share what feels true to us.

I am taking a step. A step beyond my comfort level and placing words on a page, with the idea in mind that they may offer you something of value.

Who am I to speak to you?

And yet, who do I have to be?

Who do any of us have to be?

We all know a part of the whole.

I am wondering…

What do we look for in each other?

To be someone to help fill us up,

Someone to hear us,

To know why our heart beats?

Someone to touch our soul,

Someone to stand next to,

Or lean up against,

To help weather life’s storms?

Someone to remind us about love,

About why we’re here,

To ask us about our dreams,

To lead us forward,

And to catch us when we fall?

Someone to remind us that we are family,

That we’ve chosen each other,

To support, to suggest,

To increase our range and

Help us see beyond ourselves?

And someone to help us know love

Through both human and divine touch.

To me, what each of us may be looking for is found both inside of us and inside of others. When we connect, we’re bigger, brighter, bolder than we are alone. We need each other. We want each other.

Solely looking outside doesn’t work for me. Neither does looking only on my inside. I need both. I need insight and reflection.

How about you?

What do you need and where are you looking?

After years of searching, I settled back, relaxed my mind and heart, and waited for an answer. A divine connection appeared, and a voice spoke.

“You can look wherever you like, but there is one sure, true path.”

“Tell me please,” I asked, “what is this path?”

“Always choose love. Open your heart and offer love, to yourself and to all others. From here you will find all that you seek.”

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Making A Difference

I wanted to share some thoughts about making a difference. It could be in someone else’s life, but the one that really, truly matters, is making a difference in your own life.

To me the reason for that seems to be because once you find the inner strength to make shifts in your own life, it automatically changes the way you approach life…and everyone you come into contact with benefits from this.

I’m not saying this is easy. I know it’s not, but when you see value and worth in shifting some of your beliefs, everything can change for you in a good way. There might be some discomfort as you adjust, but life can be so much better than we imagine it.

My offering comes by way of a poem I wrote many years ago.

Imagine you had a chance

To make a difference in someone’s life

Would you take it?

(or) would you stand back

At a Distance

And ask yourself questions?

What would you need to know?

Would it matter what they were like?

(or) what they believed in?

If they were nice to their friends?

If they were mean to their enemies?

Would it matter

If they paid you

With money or

With kind words?

Would your eyes ask any questions?

Would your heart move you forward

Or hold you back?

Would you question your skill?

(or) wonder about your motives?

Would you ask yourself

If you were

Good enough?

Or do you know

That you already are?

Do you know how precious,

How priceless you are?

How every good thing is within you already?

How we are meant to be connected

To everyone else

With no lines,

No fences

And no hesitation

We are all a part of the same dream,

The same human form

The same essential heart

Imagine

You gave yourself

The chance to make a difference

In someone’s life

Imagine

That you realize

You always can.

A hope of mine is that you choose to shift and open to a wider world, one where you offer yourself a chance to make a difference in your own life and the lives of others. Bon voyage.

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Sacred Timing

I’m going to admit something right up front…I’m frustrated with an issue I think ought to be going a certain way and isn’t.

Does this happen to you? Maybe a little? Maybe a lot?

Whenever I’m faced with this kind of situation, I know I need to dig deeper and I sense a need to explore, even if I don’t have any idea which direction to move.

This same kind of experience has happened many times in my life. Certainly, enough times for me to recognize the telltale signs.

Maybe you face the same thing and maybe it’s difficult for you to make any headway too. If so, here’s a few thoughts that might assist you or provide some clarity.

The first thing to show up is an increasing sense of annoyance and frustration at not being able to make sense of something or fit it together properly. It’s rapidly followed by a realization that I feel blocked by some inconvenient, inexplicable obstacle in my way. Regardless of logic, reason, or any amount of brainstorming, I cannot uncover any solution.

It’s a terrible feeling for someone who likes order (like me).

Right at the moment there is a small spark igniting inside me providing a tiny amount of light, just enough for me to see. Just enough for me to believe there is an answer somewhere if I only look in the correct place.

But where is the right place? When you are faced with your own situations where answers are out of reach, where do you look?

A little light bulb goes off and I hear a small voice inside me saying, “You’re not finding the solution because it’s not time yet.”

What does that mean? Is there really a right and wrong time for any of us to experience something? Is there such a thing as “sacred timing”?

I want to know the answer, so I say to my small voice, “I don’t understand why. I sense you are telling me the truth, but I need to know more. I’m not good with mysteries like this. Can you please give me a little direction here?”

There is silence and I know I’ll benefit from calming myself down and preparing to listen carefully. I quiet my breathing and wait.

I believe ALL answers are open and available to me, but that doesn’t mean they will appear according to my perceived or expected timetable.

“There is sacred timing with all things,” the voice tells me. “When no solution appears, despite your best attempts, that’s a clue for you that you are not ready for the answer.”

I resist wanting to hear this and ask, “Not ready according to who?” I realize my response is a little edgy, but I can’t help it. Okay, I don’t choose to help it (which is different).

The voice takes no offense at my tone and offers me sweetness in return. “Not ready according to you”, it says, followed by “who else?”

This change of direction unbalances me, so I ask, “Am I to believe that I am blocking my own way forward and that I am manufacturing my own obstacles?”

“Yes. Sit back and let that sink in.”

I sit back and try to loosen my defensiveness and release my narrow thinking. I truly want to know what’s happening and somehow this change in my attitude opens a door. It swings away from me revealing something I had not expected.

What I originally wanted would have focused me on a priority that does not serve me. By that I mean, I might have achieved an intellectual goal, but I would have missed my true spiritual aim. By delaying, I offered myself time to see clearly what is most important to me.

The voice speaks softly to me, “You see now what I’m saying, that inside you there is a true voice that always offers you your best, most beautiful life. And it does this in accordance with sacred timing. You can always trust in this. Should you forget upon occasion, let a spark light your way and remember this conversation.”

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Giving Thanks

I’ve had to radically shift my diet, so much so there are only a few treats I can eat.

I have a decision to make now.

Do I feel bad that so much has been taken from me OR do I give thanks for what I still have to savor?

Which do you think profits me the most?

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Outside Your Comfort Zone

I wanted to ask you a question.

How do you deal with things outside your comfort zone?

Does it freak you out or paralyze you for a while? Or are you able to extend yourself without much effort and roll with things?

My follow up question would be…how do you think your comfort zone was created?

When I look back over the years, I suspect mine has widened and narrowed many times depending on what I’m experiencing at the time.

Next month I’ll be going to my fiftieth college graduation celebration, a milestone to be sure. I still remember how I felt on my first day. I was very worried I would never fit in, wouldn’t make any friends, wouldn’t be able to “hack it” (as I would have said at the time). And I felt that way for quite a long time. But I did meet friends and did fit in and after a miserable academic beginning I was able to redeem my grades and graduate.

There were other times too when my comfort zone was exceeded, many of them dealing with firsts…first day on the job, first time speaking to a crowd of my peers and bosses, first time I gave a sermon in church. My list goes on and on.

I bet yours does too.

It would be nice to think that I am passed all of that and that I’ve pushed my zone so far that nothing I do bothers me or challenges me. But that would not be the truth. I still do plenty of things that press hard against my perceived limits.

And that is the exact point of this post.

Pushing past our own self-imposed limits.

I’d like to encourage you to consider giving yourself permission to do something, anything that challenges you beyond what you think are your limits.

I’d like to advocate for you and tell you that you CAN do extraordinary things.

You are probably saying something out loud like, where does this person get off telling me I CAN do extraordinary things? He doesn’t even know me!

Well, in one way that is true. In all likelihood, I don’t know you personally and you’d have a case to make that therefore I cannot comment on your capabilities.

But here’s the thing…I can tell you this because you are here reading this post, which says to me that you are searching and I’m willing to bet part of your search is for someone to “see” you. To see the powerful, radiant being you are. Sure, you have your share of fears and have probably been knocked down a few times, but you likely also got back up.

I know that every person on this planet has the capacity for MORE, even if it’s only one more step. I’m here to champion the idea of your taking one more step and to tell you it could lead to the beginning of something grand and wonderful.

You need examples?

Okay, I am afraid of failure. I also happen to know the easiest way to fail…never trying in the first place. So, I gather my courage, reflect on past successes, give myself wholly to the task at hand and use a sacred formula for overcoming obstacles and moving beyond my comfort zone.

I’m going to share it with you. I spend time conceiving what I aim to experience. I know very well that if I can conceive something, it can be mine. Once I have conceived it, I sit with it until I believe it will happen for/to me. Of course there can be lingering doubts, but I tell them to step aside because I’m busy believing. And then, I take action. Often, it is a series of actions. And during the whole process I focus on my feelings and how joyful I feel that I am doing something I feel is meaningful.

So, here’s my practical example. I’m going to facilitate my own retreat on a subject that is very near and dear to me, talking with (god). I have been having personal, intimate conversations with (god) for over 27 years and I want to share the simple process I use so that others can have their OWN conversations. Stepping out and doing everything for the retreat myself is very challenging and really pushes me beyond my comfort zone.

Here’s another element that helps.

I tell myself to move forward, to take one step at a time and to keep going. There are always excuses I can offer myself, but I remind myself not to accept any of them and to keep moving forward.

I believe in you and know you can do the same thing. I hope you decide to give it a try.

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What Were You Made For

It’s likely that you watched, listened to or heard about Billie Eilish’s song, What Was I Made For, which was the Official Music Video for the film, Barbie.

No doubt everyone has their own opinions about the song. I find it eerily haunting and beautiful. The undercurrent feels eye opening to me, especially when you consider how it fits into the movie.

Of course, you can take the song and movie at face value, but there is so much underneath of benefit and worth.

What would you answer if I asked you this deceptively simple question…what were you made for?

Perhaps you’ve already arrived at your answer.

But for those of you who have not previously considered this, what are you inclined to respond?

I always feel it’s fair that I answer the questions I ask, so here’s my response.

I need to back up a little.

I still carry with me some memories from heaven. There was a ceremony I participated in, and many choices were made. I do not remember all of them, but there are some that are clear to me. I probably ought to say, they become clear to me as my life goes on.

I believe I chose where, when and to whom I was born. It feels obvious to me that the experiences I’ve encountered fit neatly into my life plan. I realize and believe that each choice is fully and completely under my control because I have free will. This is not to say that I haven’t been manipulated or coerced or brainwashed into making choices others wanted. But the truth for me is that I allowed or sanctioned or surrendered and accepted the path others wanted me to take in order to please them or keep me from their wrath.

That is until I decided to put my self first. You may be thinking, that’s kind of selfish, isn’t it? And you would be correct.

I realized I am here, on this earth, to create and experience my life. MY life.

I love others here and I certainly want to show love, support, and encouragement, but not at the cost of losing myself in the process.

I don’t believe that is what I was made for.

I was made to explore, discover, absorb, create, connect, give and receive love. I was made to be able to make my own choices, follow my own path, and share whatever radiance that burns inside of me.

I believe you have this same birthright. It’s part of your spiritual DNA. It’s one of the reasons you were given free will, so you could choose and chart your own path.

However, for you to answer this really important question has nothing to do with what I think or what I say. It’s entirely up to you.

So, what were you made for?

Whatever the answer is, I believe it already exist inside of you and if you give yourself a chance to listen, you’ll hear the sweet quiet voice guiding you toward your own answers and choices.

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Kicked Out of the Nest

I’ve always heard that if young birds don’t leave the nest, one of their parents will kick them out, forcing them to fly.

Apparently, this is a myth. According to experts, this doesn’t happen, although young birds are definitely coaxed into flying. Despite thinking it’s safe in the nest, having a group of loud squawking birds sitting together is an invitation to many predators, so it’s in the young bird’s interest to jump out and fly away.

The moral of this story has become self-evident to me over the years.

I like to stick around where it feels safe. I know the rules, even if I don’t always like them all. I have a good idea what I can and cannot do and my options seem pretty clear. Part of me isn’t interested in venturing outward, where everything seems confusing and uncertain.

But, like a young bird, it isn’t always safer in the nest and taking flight and finding new and better places to be is to my advantage, no matter how difficult or challenging it can be.

Recently, I experienced this situation again. For me, there is a period of discomfort that occurs, mostly on an emotional level. When I feel ousted from my nest, my first reaction is either fear or anger. When I gain a little distance, I see that fear and anger are really the same emotion, just acted out differently.

Many years ago, our wise minister (Jim Fuller) mentioned how important it was for all of us to feel our feelings. I understood his point but was not very good at accepting or processing my feelings. I was a ‘thinker’, so feelings seemed to take second place, which really meant no place at all.

I decided I ought to give it a more serious try, so I began a feelings journal where I promised to be honest and write down exactly what I was feeling and then sit with them. Not try to change my feelings or ignore them or discount them. Just be with them. As time went on, I came to learn that my feelings were guides for helping me navigate a better life course.

So, back to the nest.

Each time I am forced out of my cozy nest, which happens with regularity, I allow myself to feel my feelings, then sit and rest with them. Once the initial energy subsides, I can see there is a purpose and a new direction for me to travel. A direction that opens me up and offers me a prosperity I would never have known if I’d chosen to stay in the nest.

I know this is hard. I know you might think there is nothing out there beyond your comfort zone…but there is.

I’m writing this to invite you to give yourself a chance to discover a bigger, brighter, bolder world.

Every time this has happened to me, I have grown and experienced satisfaction and joy.

If you give yourself a chance, I hope you find new dimensions and beautiful experiences waiting for you.

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One More Day

Have you ever been in a rainstorm that was so hard you had to use your fastest wiper blade setting and even then, it was difficult to see?

I was in one of those recently. Usually, I’m not overly concerned but I found this storm a bit nerve wracking. And then I came upon a section of the road that had high walls on both sides. Despite the drainage built into the road, all of the water from the heavy downpour was trapped and flooding the highway.

There was nothing I could do except to keep going.

The car next to me hit a wall of water and splashed it up and over my minivan, burying me inside the wave. I couldn’t see anything but water cascading over me. One second, two, three. Nothing.

I held on to the steering wheel in hopes that I would come out the other side and still be in my lane. And that there wouldn’t be anyone there. And that the car behind me wouldn’t run into the back of me when it appeared. And that the car to my left, that began the shower, wouldn’t veer over into my lane.

I kept my eyes open and said, “Oh, my God!” three times before the wall of water fly off my windshield.

Surprisingly, no other cars were on the road anywhere near me. I drove along, hands on the wheel, eyes starring disbelieving ahead of me to a clear wide-open road, as if it was any other day.

Wow!

I’ve never experienced anything like that and frankly, I hope I never will again.

I continued on, expressing my gratitude for coming through that experience safely. I tried to slow my breathing and take it all in.

A question formed in my mind.

How was it possible for all of the cars to make it safely through that dangerous place?

I’m sure there are a host of ideas and explanations, but what I really wanted to know was, would that experience change me? Would I reflect on it as a turning point in my life? A dividing line of some sort? A second chance?

I’ve been thinking about that lately.

I know there have been other times in my life where I skirted death. Maybe the same thing has happened to you. Maybe more than once.

Did it change you? Did you step back and wonder?

After considering this for a little while I’ve come to the conclusion that I can change my outlook any time I want to. Any time I choose to. I don’t need a hugely significant frightening experience like this to prompt me into action.

I can give myself a second chance any moment of my life. And so can you.

No matter what is happening, you have the power to choose your attitude. You can take one step, and then another. You can build a new you.

Every time you wake up, you have one more day. You can make it count. You can let joy fill you and overflow, if you choose.

Seeing the open road in front of me after the water fell away reminded me that I have more time and that it’s up to me to decide what to do with it.

So, I’ll leave you with a question…what are you going to do with one more day?