Withholding

What has been withheld from you? Is it food for your body or learnings for your mind or affection and love for your soul?

And can you answer this? What have you withheld from others? Do you keep your heart to yourself? Do you prevent compassion from leaving you? Are you holding things inside that might serve the world?

Even more importantly, what do you withhold from yourself? Do you stifle your dreams? Do you keep yourself small, to avoid detection? Do you push praise away or allow yourself to crumble when adversity comes your way?

These are hard questions and yet so very necessary to live our most magnificent life.

We need so many different things to prosper.

There is a quote from Hal Lindsay, author of the book, The Late Great Planet Earth, where he captures some of the essence of life. “Man (any one of us) can live about forty days without food, about three days without water, about eight minutes without air…but only one second without hope.”

I’m not certain of his facts because I can’t imagine being able to hold my breath for eight minutes, but I understand his critical point. We all need hope to live and if we lose it, nothing seems worth living for.

This is why I believe that it is essential to explore the idea of withholding, whether it is done to us or by us.

No doubt there are lots of reasons why withholding occurs. Things happen in our lives that create patterns, that mold us and shape us. Often, we are not even aware they are happening. They seep in and take hold and become a part of us.

What are we to do?

Of course, this is everyone’s decision. I can only speak for myself, but I know that I want to expand outward into the world and withholding prevents this. I want to freely give and receive. I want to loosen all the ties I attach to the gifts I offer. I want to be centered in love and fill up all the spaces where withholding lives.

It seems to me that I need a way to do this. Something practical.

Perhaps my first step is to become better at recognizing when withholding exists. But how?

I search my mind for an answer. Nothing arrives.

I wonder why. Are we not thinking beings, capable of discovering all sorts of solutions to our problems? Certainly, we are. There must be something, and yet nothing appears. Is this a dead-end?

Then something enters my awareness and I know what to do. I sit back and take in a fresh breath. I close my eyes and wait. I smile, because I know the answers I seek are on their way. In the quiet, I hear an inner voice. It is the voice of my feelings saying, “Let me guide you to your truth.”

I want to know more. A lot more.

So, my feelings continue, “All withholding is a form of protection. It believes that there is ‘not enough’ in the world, so it must impose limits. It relies on everyone to accept this idea, even if only in small doses.”

I feel the truth of this for me, but it seems incomplete. I ask my feelings; is there more you want to share?

“Yes, all withholding attempts to reduce your infinite size, regardless of the direction withholding travels. You are each a majestic, limitless, divine being. You have no innate need to withhold anything from anyone. The truth is you grow richer and stronger and become more vital and alive the more you share.”

“It is not necessary for you to investigate further all the areas in your life where withholding occurs. The solution is far simpler than that. I am the pathway. Being aware of how you feel will guide you. You know this already. So, when feelings of withholding appear, release them, for they are untrue. They can be cast aside, so that your magnificence shows through, and your divine light illuminates the world. Share your hope and your holiness with yourself and with all those in your life. This is how withholding vanishes.”

Note: To make a comment, please click on the Post Name, then scroll to the bottom of the page, write your comment in the box and hit enter.

When Too Much Light Comes In

Has the world ever appeared too bright to you? Too shiny, too many colors, too overwhelming?

I know this may, at first reading, sound ridiculous, but for some folks it is their truth. They find it difficult to adjust to what others feel is ‘normal’. It’s too much and they are only comfortable with soft rays of light entering their life.

Who are these people, you might ask?

The answer to your question may surprise you, because at times this may apply to everyone. Sometimes we all need a dark room to hide away in, far from the crowd and the spotlight.

A place where we can sit or lay down. A place where there is no noise to distract our circling thoughts. Somewhere to recharge our batteries.

I want to express a hope of mine.

If you sense there is too much light coming into your life, please, please, know that it is okay to separate yourself from the world and look inside, deep into your heart. It’s okay to shut out any harsh lights, whether they are from the sun or from the words and actions of others. It’s even possible there are cruel words you are speaking to yourself.

Let them all fall away.

It’s not that I don’t believe in outside help, because I do. Very much so. I know that outside helpers can reframe things and bring them into sharper focus. They can provide warmth and support and a network. They can allow you space to empty your thoughts and concerns and help create some peace in your world. They can be absolutely wonderful.

What I am saying is there are other ways too. Other resources. And they also have a place in your life, if you want them.

I want to share one of mine with you.

For me she has a name, it’s Lia, which stands for Love In Action. She is an aspect of (god). I place god in parentheses because I want folks to feel free to use their own name for the divine. This is one of the most incredible gifts we have…to be able to use our own name for god. And to be free to embrace a relationship in whatever way feels right to us.

When I am blinded by too much light, I shy away from the world and open to Lia’s presence. The moment I do, she is there. I don’t see her, but I always feel her presence.

Mostly she listens. She knows why I want her, need her, but waits patiently for me to release all that I am carrying. She waits for me to lay it all down. She waits for me to be empty. And ready.

Sometimes it seems like she fades from my presence, but that’s because of me, not her.

She knows I can’t hear her when my head is full. It’s too noisy, too congested, too bright with the shiny things of the world.

I’m so glad that she waits for me.

When I finally run dry, she comes to fill me back up. She gives me heavenly water for my spiritual thirst. She asks me divine questions and my answers to her, are my answers to me.

Does this appeal to you?

Would you like to meet her, know her, have her in your life?

The good news is that you can.

She is only a heartbeat away. One decision on your part and I believe she will appear. She asks little. Only your calm breathing, your quieted voice, your willingness to spend time with her and your open heart. She awaits these things, patiently, lovingly.

Ever since I first met her, she has come to me. Always with love, ever faithful.

Note: To make a comment, please click on the Post Name, then scroll to the bottom of the page, write your comment in the box and hit enter.

SPECIAL NOTE: If you would like to know more about having a relationship with Lia, please see the BOOKS section of this website and scroll down to my book, talking with (god). Should you wish, you may purchase a print copy or ebook through Amazon.

Starving Your Inner Demons

Do any inner demons haunt you? Are they offering to rule your whole world for you?

If they are, what are you feeding them? Is their diet giving them their strength?

These may seem like unusual questions to ask, but there is a serious side to them.

Have you ever wondered how much of your behavior is prompted by your inner demons? Are you courageous enough to ask?

I don’t think I know anyone who is completely free. No one that doesn’t hear inner voices calling to them, asking them to come closer.

Perhaps, you are afraid to shorten the distance between you and these voices. That’s one way to approach things, but it has never worked for me, nor for others I’ve spoken with. Maybe you’d like to try another way.

I’ve talked before about the necessity of first feeling your feelings, because without doing so, you are running blind. You can’t see what is right in front of you. And you can’t follow any path forward.

Realizing that the feelings you are experiencing are there to serve you is one way to start. They are not in front of or behind you to threaten you. They merely want to walk along side of you and be acknowledged. They have a message for you.

If you gather your strength and release your attachment to your fear, your feelings will open you to a new perspective. And they will have a chance to deliver their golden message to you.

It is the same with inner demons.

We may think it wise to try to defeat them in battle. We may choose to pick up a weapon to hit them, but they become ferocious with us and will not back down.

If we tell ourselves, they are not there and try to ignore them, they bound around us and stare at us face to face. They taunt us and will not go away.

But perhaps we wish to alter our course and refuse to feed them. Maybe our choice is to without any food from them.

You may be wondering, how is this done?

I have my very own inner demons. It pains me to say so, but it is the truth. Maybe it’s the same for you.

My inner demons have various names. One of them is called abandonment, while another is rejection. They are sort of twins and often work together.

They say they are with me to protect me. I wonder who they believe they are protecting me from.

They cause a great deal of pain, for as long as I allow.

I need to repeat that last sentence, so you don’t miss it.

They cause a great deal of pain, for as long as I allow.

When they arise, sometimes out of nowhere, I now choose to stand still, open my eyes wide, slow my breathing and ask them to speak to me. They don’t want to. They would rather that I become angry, so that they can feed from me. Or withdraw, so they can have my energy. But I make them talk to me and tell me how my feelings of abandonment or rejection can serve me, rather than sap me.

No matter what they desire, I am still the one in charge, so they must share their wisdom with me. The harsh voices they use no longer scare me, because despite themselves they are here to help me. Abandonment tells me that I don’t have to feel or be alone. Rejection says that, although not everyone will hear what I have to say, there are those who want my words and my heart.

They have no choice but to serve me. Everything does, even them. Given no food or energy, they are starved for my attention and willingly lay down and go to sleep at my feet.

Note: To make a comment, please click on the Post Name, then scroll to the bottom of the page, write your comment in the box and hit enter.

There Is No Gravity in Heaven

In heaven, nothing holds you down. Of course, this is not a provable phenomenon. And you might be thinking, what does it really matter anyway?

Here’s why I mention it.

Because, in heaven you are free, untethered to any cultural ideas, moral obligations, or conditional responses. There are no biases to uphold, no borders to defend and no positions to protect.

There is only love.

And, although you can do anything, there is only one thing you want to do. You want to be fully in this love.

It’s not an active ‘giving and receiving’ of love. Those are conscious decisions we make here on earth. Instead, you ARE love. You rest inside love as a state of being.

How do I know this? Why do I believe this or, better yet, why would you believe this?

That’s a very fair question.

The other question that arises quickly is, so what? What if you believed every word I say, what then, after all we’re here on earth, so why would it matter what happens in heaven?

First things first.

I understand that nothing I say to you can possibly convince you that I know anything about heaven. If you’ve been with me for a while, you might have a sense of my sincerity and genuineness and feel there is a degree of honesty in me and perhaps be open to entertaining the notion. But even this probably isn’t enough to believe I know anything about heaven.

I believe there is only one way for you to know if this is true. You have to FEEL it inside of you.

For the moment, I’m going to ask you to suspend any judgement about this, so that you can hear the rest of the story.

Ever since I was a young child, I knew there was something different about me. I knew when certain things were going to happen. And, I had what felt like distinct memories of heaven, but never talked about them until I was an adult. It was then that the memories became clearer. It wasn’t so much about what I saw, as it was about what I felt. I felt completely wrapped in love. I was one drop in an ocean of bliss. Everything, everywhere, was love.

It’s okay if you don’t believe me. I understand. It’s not every day someone shares something like this with you. It’s beyond logic and probably feels pretty mysterious.

I’m sharing it now because it matters. Definitely to me and maybe to you.

It took me many years to fully accept my memories from heaven. It wasn’t until I began having my own personal intimate two-way conversations with (god) that I discovered answers to all my questions. The BOOKS page on this website references my book, talking with (god), where I share about my journey and how you can discover your own answers through your own relationship with (god).

One answer I received was that I left heaven and came to earth to create and experience whatever I chose. And, that my choices were unlimited and that each choice created an outcome.

What I have experienced is that when my choices are made from love, they create more love. When I give with an open heart, I expand outward and remember the beautiful sense of bliss I experienced in heaven.

When I make choices that are from fear I experience challenges, pain, and suffering. I hurt inside and it travels out into the world, and I end up hurting others. Fortunately, I’ve been told that each challenge, each feeling of pain and act of suffering is a message to me. It is love disguised as a guidepost, showing me the way home to love.

This is what is so important for me to share with you. Love is everything, always and forever. I believe that somewhere in your heart you already know this. And this place inside of you will help guide you every step of the way, if you let it. I hope you do and that your life becomes all that you want it to be.

Note: To make a comment, please click on the Post Name, then scroll to the bottom of the page, write your comment in the box and hit enter

Intuitive Nudges

When you don’t know the right direction in life to take, what do you do? Do you seek someone else’s advice or try to brainstorm all the ideas you can think of and then choose what you believe is the best answer? Or because of some uncertainty, do you just choose whatever comes to your mind first and hope things turn out okay?

It can often feel challenging and somewhat overwhelming, especially if you haven’t resolved the first question or situation before the next one pops up.

Wouldn’t it be helpful if we’d come here with our very own owner’s manual? A guidebook that laid out the best answers to all our questions or some neat flow chart we could follow to get where we want to go.

Here’s an idea to consider.

I believe we do have something we can always rely on to provide direction and insight. You may have already guessed it. It’s our intuition.

One of the difficult things about the intuitive process is our general lack of awareness about its existence and how to use it. Of course, there are numerous references to it culturally. One of these is ESP, or Extra Sensory Perception, which is our ability to know things without having any idea how or why we know them.

This disconnection creates a sense of disbelief. We don’t recognize the thread; therefore, we tend to downplay or ignore its importance. And, without a direct relevant connection, we are unlikely to trust our intuition, especially if the situation we’re faced with is very important to us.

I wonder, would it be possible for us to stop and take a closer look? What would happen if we paid very close attention to all the inner messages we receive? What might change in our lives?

I’d like to suggest an opportunity.

How about the next time you don’t have an immediate, well thought out answer for something that comes up in your life, you pause and sit back for a minute. You close your eyes and slow your breathing and allow your mind to calm down. And you ask for an answer to form in your mind. You allow yourself to be nudged into seeing and feeling what your inner guidance has to say.

There is enormous wisdom inside of you just waiting to come to the surface. It has always been present and will always be available to you.

One of the prerequisites though, is a level of trust. Will that be possible for you?

You might be asking, trust in who, or trust in what?

My answer, after many years of making my way through this amazing process is, trust in YOU. Some folks decide to place their trust in the universe or the divine or substitute other names. In essence, I believe it’s all the same, because you are part of the universe and part of the divine.

So, let’s say you are willing to give this a chance and have allowed yourself to be in a quiet space and opened yourself up to listen carefully to whatever comes your way in the silence. For this one time at least, say to yourself that you are going to trust what comes to you and take action according to what you hear and feel. Give in and accept it as your inner wisdom passing along a divine message to you.

You may want to write some of this down and note what happens, to give yourself some convincing evidence, so that next time it’s easier. Or you may just want to go with the flow and let things unfold whatever direction they do.

Either way, I hope that you begin to see that you are a deep well of knowing and that your inner wisdom is always present in your life.

Note: To make a comment, please click on the Post Name, then scroll to the bottom of the page, write your comment in the box and hit enter.

Altruism

What motivates someone to perform a selfless act which benefits another? Perhaps there are many reasons why this might happen. I would be fascinated to know the answers.

According to Wikipedia, altruism is described as the principle and moral practice of concern for happiness of other human beings or other animals, resulting in a quality of life both material and spiritual.

It feels like this is a fancy way of saying that a person’s primary concern is for someone else, rather than their own gain.

I believe I witness this to some degree every day. I see folks letting others get in line in front of them in traffic. I see people open doors for others, especially when they are weighed down with something. And I have seen folks pay for the coffee of the next person in line.

I enjoy observing these intentional acts of kindness and usually join in some way. It makes me feel alive and engaged in the world around me.

And then there are the incredibly beautiful and sensational acts that show up in the news and social media.

They are about everyday people who come to the aid of others, often with no concern given to their own safety.  They do it because they feel it’s the ‘right’ thing to do at the time.

They ran into traffic to push someone out of the way of an onrushing bus. Or they help shove a car off the railroad tracks before a train crushes it. Or they swim into the ocean to pull someone to shore. These are heroic acts of love and compassion and wonderful statements about the character of human beings.

But the altruism I’m thinking of right now transcends these marvelous actions. It moves beyond, to the level of sacrificial, heart-centered majesty.

In my travels in this life, I have only encountered one person who demonstrated this kind of altruism. She donated one of her kidneys.

She was reluctant to share much about this, but I discovered that she didn’t even know the recipient. They were not close family to her, nor a dear friend. In fact, she had no relationship with them at all, other than knowing that their life was in jeopardy.

I don’t know all the facts, so I can’t tell you a great deal about her story or that of the person she saved. I’m not sure that’s even relevant, because what has stayed with me all these years is her uncomplicated view of the situation. They would die without a kidney, and she was a match for them. That was enough for her.

I don’t know of a greater sacrifice than this.

Recently I signed up to be an organ donor…when I die. She signed up to be an organ donor…while alive. That’s a big difference to me.

I wonder to myself, could I do this? I realize we have two kidneys and humans can live with only one, but how do you get past the idea that you have two for a good reason. They function together. They keep your body healthy and if, for some reason one fails to function properly, the other is able to continue your life.

I am amazed at her courage, her compassion, her strength, and her love.

It seemed as though the sharing of this selfless act with me slipped out of her. A momentary lapse. I truly do not believe she had intended to tell me about this, nor has she told others. It’s her personal story.

She remains one of my hero’s, not because of what she has done, but because of who she is and the love she carries inside of her. I live in awe of her.

Note: To make a comment, please click on the Post Name, then scroll to the bottom of the page, write your comment in the box and hit enter.

When Things Break

I suppose it is inevitable that all things will break, but when many of them happen at once, I begin to wonder, is there a message for me?

Recently, I’ve experienced a sequence of events that has both surprised and upset me. First, it was my car. It needed over a thousand dollars’ worth of repairs. I guess I ought to be prepared for this, since it’s almost ten years old, but once I got it home, it made a new noise and had to go back for more repairs.

Then it was our new storm door. The mechanism that allows it to stay closed malfunctioned. It took several weeks before it was fixed. And, then our new computer lost its mind requiring all sorts of adjustments before it would work again.

I thought we were done. You know the common thought about things coming in threes. But not so. Yesterday morning I woke up to a very cold house. I hadn’t switched over from summer to winter, so I moved the thermostat button to the ‘heat’ cycle. Nothing happened. No beautiful furnace sound delivering warmth to our house. I investigated, only to find a blank digital computer screen on the unit. It had power, but wouldn’t and didn’t do anything.

After numerous calls, we finally managed to get a technician to come. He diagnosed the problem and relayed the remedy to us. We needed parts. He told us they would be ordered on Monday, three days from now. Then they would have to schedule an appointment to complete the repairs. Translation- no heat for several days.

Many thoughts ran through my head. And many feelings ran through my body. On one level, I find this string of events to be very frustrating, and certainly inconvenient and expensive. But I’m curious too.

Do they mean something more than what they are, a collection of occurrences that could be random? Is there some inherent value in them for me? Is it worth my digging into their depths to see?

I wonder first about what feelings they bring up in me. So, I allow myself to open and accept whatever comes to me. I’ve discovered that when I do this, I am able to release whatever I no longer want to keep inside. But, I have to see it first though. And I have to realize that even though it is difficult to be honest with myself, it is always worth it.

So here goes. I wonder why this is happening TO me. It doesn’t seem fair at all. I wonder, did I do something to deserve these things? It occurs to me there may be more events to come. Because there are four, will I have to experience two more to end the second string of three things.

I note my level of anger and frustration and it becomes obvious to me that I am looking at this from only one direction. I could just as easily ask myself a series of other questions.

I have beautiful, wonderful things in my life. I have a car, a door, a computer, a house and so much more. So many in this world have none of these things and may never have them. They don’t have enough food, clean water, fresh air, shelter of any kind, people who will help them, a place to call home, a family.

My questions and concerns shift abruptly. I begin to express my gratitude for what I have and release those feelings and thoughts about what I don’t. My heart opens wide and breaks for all those in the world who have so little. For them abundance means a bite of food, a sip of water, a tarp to sleep under, a kind word from someone, from anyone.

I live in such privilege. I have so much and yet am concerned and afraid when some of it fails to work. I see that much more clearly now. Beyond shifting my attitude about this, I wonder what else can I do?

I know I can’t fix the whole world, but I don’t want that to stop me from trying to fix what I can. So now, each time my focus is drawn to something that doesn’t work in my life, I’m going to shift my attention and decide what I can do to help others. I know there are an infinite number of things that can be done. So I’m going to let my gratitude lead the way.

New Growth

There comes a point when I realize I need to let go of something in order experience new growth. Although this can be very difficult, I know it’s what I want and need. The hard part is deciding what to surrender in order to find a way forward.

In our upstairs bathroom I have an ivy plant. It’s really the first plant I’ve ever personally taken care of. It’s a job I take seriously. My ivy and I have a routine, a little ritual ceremony. Every Sunday, I pour a small cup of water on the dirt that surrounds the plants stems. After this I place my hands under the flowing water from the tap and then allow the excess water to drip from my fingers onto each ivy leaf. As I do this, I offer it wishes for good health. Then I close my eyes and let my hands hover just above the ivy’s outstretched leaves and send it loving energy.

Once in a while, when I open my eyes, I notice the leaves quivering a bit. I like to see this. It feels like a response. A connection between us. It’s beautiful and I feel closer to my ivy.

It seemed to thrive, sending up new shoots at the base and new leaves on the older stems. When the new leaves sprout, they are such a gorgeous shade of green, far different than the mature leaves. They are tiny at first, but then spread out and grow, unfurling and swelling in size.

We’ve been together now for many years and recently it needed a new container. It had outgrown the original smaller one and wanted more room to spread out. So, my wife repotted it, she being better at plant things than I am.

Everything went well and my ivy continued to flourish. That is, until we went on an eight-day vacation. I thought to myself, it should be okay, after all it’s only one more day than usual.

I watered it before we left and gave it a tiny bit extra.

We returned home and I went upstairs to check on it.

Disaster.

It looked so unhappy. Many of the leaves had dried out and no matter how much extra care I gave it, the leaves didn’t come back to life. Of the five stems, three looked really bad. I wondered what I should do. I felt as though the soil could no longer support all five stems and that if I didn’t do something soon, all of them would die.

Whether it was the right or wrong thing, I decided to cut the three stems that were withering. I felt I needed their surrender so that the remaining two could thrive.

So far, it’s worked. The two stems now have some healthy new beautiful green leaves forming. I am so happy to see them and welcome them into our world with love.

I wonder what would have happened if I couldn’t allow myself to surrender the dying stems. I think the whole plant would have died.

After some reflection, it became clear to me that this same process exists inside of me. What am I holding onto that is withering my spirit? What do I need to let go of or release?

It’s kind of hard to know the answer to this. I can’t just look at my outside world and see, like I can with the plant leaves.

It’s trickier than that and I wonder what gauge I can use to measure with.

So, instead of looking outside, I glance inward. I move beyond appearances and my thinking mind, to a place where my feelings reign. When I arrive, I ask one simple question, ‘how do I feel?’

I realize this sounds pretty general, but it’s not. If I am quiet, answers float to the surface. All of the things that concern me bob up and down waiting to be noticed. I come to understand that this is a process that is aided by my patience. I am helped by the inner knowing that all will be revealed, if I slow down and wait.

And there they are, lined up together, waving at me. My feelings of desire for control, the weighty sense of having to please other people and the chains that cling to my internal measures of success.

I see them as clearly as a dying leaf on my beautiful ivy plant. And I know my best answer is to surrender them. Releasing them gives me my best chance to thrive. I want that. I want that for me, and I want that for you, if that’s what you decide.

Note: To make a comment, please click on the Post Name, then scroll to the bottom of the page, write your comment in the box and hit enter.

Expectations, the Thief of Joy

It seems that I am constantly at odds with myself over the expectations I have. Does this happen to you too?

I set them up in my mind and then when they don’t come true as I expected, it creates a cascade of emotions. There is sadness, anger, disappointment, frustration, and confusion. All of them, thieves of joy.

I don’t like this part of my earthly adventure.

The obvious question I need to ask myself is, ‘why do I continue this thoroughly unenjoyable experience?’

There must be a better way.

Perhaps if I chose not to have any expectations about anything, maybe that would solve the problem. But how likely is that?

For me, not likely at all. I’ve tried this repeatedly without success. It ends with the same result. Even though I say to myself that I’m not going to care about the outcome of something, some part of me ignores this ‘suggestion’. It has already recorded my expectation and won’t let it go. So, when it becomes obvious that my expectation is unmet, it repeats the cascade.

I know this doesn’t make sense, but it is what happens. At least, most of the time.

I do believe that experiences, such as this, will continue to arrive in my life because they bear messages for me. They hint at things I would benefit from and that would improve my life. They come to offer me gifts.

So far, I’ve missed their value. And because of this, I continue to suffer. I realize this is my choice and that if I opened myself up, I might be able to see more possibilities and maybe some real answers.

How is this to happen?

I know there are numerous excellent self-help books that probably address this issue. They no doubt have many valuable suggestions to make and have provided a great deal of assistance to those prepared to try them. I sincerely congratulate those who read them and adopt their recommendations. It would be wise if I would join them, but something stops me.

It may not be the wisest approach for me to take, but it appears that I like to struggle. That may sound foolish, but I know it is the case with me. I have to personally confront whatever issue stands before me. I have to feel the weight of it. And, I have to wrestle with it until it breaks apart and shows me some truth.

So, I lay myself open and I ask for divine guidance to enter and assist me with finding a way forward.

And, what comes is this, I want joy. I want it as a centerpiece in my life. Joy goes far beyond happiness. Happiness is fleeting, but joy is truth. I believe each of us came here to earth filled with joy. It is a part of our natural state and a reflection of love.

I see how setting expectations puts limits on joy. It declares there is only one right solution and when it is not met, there is a price to pay. I see how setting expectations is looking for value outside of me. And my sense of satisfaction with life becomes dependent on what happens outside of me. Is there anything more fragile than this?

And so here is the message I’ve been waiting for. It is always about what is ‘inside’ of me. I can never reliably find what I’m looking for outside of me. This is at the heart of all my expectations, a desire to be fulfilled by what lies beyond me.

This will never happen because it is what is inside of me that matters. The wonderful news is that this is where all the good stuff is. We came here with all of it. If I close my eyes and slow my breathing and look inside and remember who I truly am, a part of the divine, I can awake to the knowing that I am made of love. I am whole and complete, just as I am. No outward fulfilled expectations will make me more than I already am.

So, when the next one comes, I will remind myself of this truth and release the expectation and in remembering to do this, will center on the joy inside of me.

Note: To make a comment, please click on the Post Name, then scroll to the bottom of the page, write your comment in the box and hit enter.

How Do I Love Me

Who taught you about love? It might be hard to remember. It may go back so many years that you’re not even sure.

I believe all babies come to earth filled with love, ready to be held, so that they can share their overwhelming sense of wonder with anyone who picks them up.

I certainly felt this when I held my children and grandchildren. I looked into each of their eyes to see if they could remind me what heaven was like. I gazed at them and felt a beautiful sense of oneness and closeness. And I fell into their bright, shiny faces, absorbed in their afterglow.

I felt as much coming into me as I was sending into them. Each of them taught me about love.

Sometimes I wish I could remember what it felt like to arrive here on earth. To be the one held. I imagine what a difficult trip it must have been, having my first breath squeezed out of me and needing desperately to have my lungs filled with air. Then trying to adjust to all the open space around me and the chill and bright lights and commotion. It’s no wonder that many babies scream. I want to, just thinking about it.

As a baby’s days pass and their experiences deepen, I wonder, how are they to learn about life? Who will listen to them for the clues that they are ready to learn? Who will be their teachers?

Will it be an interaction, an exchange of the meanings of life or will the baby have to do all the receiving and not be allowed to do any of the teaching?

As the baby becomes a child, the lessons begin. All sorts of things must be learned. What ‘hot’ means. That food belongs in your mouth, not on your head or the floor. That scissors are pointed, and that most animals have soft fur, but very sharp teeth.

After a while the lessons shift from being primarily about safety and become about understanding the world. There is a process of discovery. What a color is and what letters are and how numbers work together.

All of this is important. Necessary even.

But what about love? Who teaches us about this? Is it someone who knows what it means and how it is shared? Or do we sometimes learn from someone, who themselves, was never taught and can therefore not teach?

Are we shown examples to follow? And if so, what do they tell us about love? Is there harmony between what we are told and what we see happen in the world?

Often there are wide discrepancies, and we are expected to behave according to other’s words and ignore their conflicting actions.

But we know the truth somehow. We can feel it.

And whether we like it or not, it becomes up to each of us to decide about love, especially, the love we feel for ourselves. We may be fortunate enough to have had wonderful role-models to follow, but if not, we owe it to ourselves to be our own source of love.

I believe that deep inside each of us there is an inexhaustible wellspring of love. It’s inside already, waiting to be tapped. We don’t have to look outside to find it. And we don’t have to wait for anyone else to give it to us. We can give it to ourselves.

I believe this is the truth because we all came here with it. Each of us was wrapped up in love.

We show our self love by giving ourselves permission to release all the lessons we’ve been taught by others that do not feel true to us, and recognize that they may have meant no harm while teaching us. They just didn’t know better.

We show our self love when we forgive those who failed to help us understand, that the most important love, is that which we show ourselves. Then we can move on.

We show our self love when we accept that we are all beautiful, radiant beings, able to embrace the truth that we are all lovable. And in this way, we take charge of answering the question, how do I love me.

Note: To make a comment, please click on the Post Name, then scroll to the bottom of the page, write your comment in the box and hit enter.