Category: aims

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Your True Self Has No Limits

I have a confession to make. I used to believe in limits.

Others told me they knew what they were so why wouldn’t I believe them? Those who told me said that they loved me and wanted the best for me. It never occurred to me that they wouldn’t tell me the truth.

I’ve come to understand, we all do our best based on what we’ve accepted as the truth. Rarely does someone who cares about me intentionally steer me wrong. Their actions are based on what they believe to be true, whether it is or not.

Knowing this, it’s important for me to explore and discover for myself.

One day I was told it is very difficult for one person to make a real difference in this world. I suppose they were trying to keep me from reaching too far and getting hurt.

They told me we’re just too small and that we have to be reasonable about our expectations. They allowed that we could have an impact on the small stage that surrounds us, but not on the world at large.

Perhaps you’ve been told this too.

At some point I released this kind of thinking. I came to believe it is up to each of us to decide the value and reliability of this idea.

Regardless of the number of times I heard this repeated, something did not seem quite right to me about it. Why couldn’t I connect meaningfully beyond my small group?

Did others think I would feel pain if I failed? Did they think that perhaps I did not have anything worthwhile to say or that others would not want to hear it?

Maybe they did not want me to break away from them for fear they might need to change too.

I cannot know what reasons others have, but I feel I owe it to myself to see beyond my small world.

I want to tell you a few things, not to make myself look bigger, but so you can see yourself as bigger.

I am like you. I have certain talents and dreams, fears and illusions, hopes and aims. I don’t feel there is anything unique about me that favors my succeeding where you might not. I believe you are way bigger than anyone has ever told you.

You may be wondering- how can I say that?

I say it because I believe it to be so. We all have radiance and brilliance built in. We’ve had it since we arrived here at birth. It came with us and is just waiting to come forth.

One day I decided to step out of my small shell and engage my heart fully. I decided I would create a website and write posts (like this one) as a means of inviting others along on my journey. Thanks to Cheri, one of my dear friends, this site became a reality. Since beginning, almost 500 people decided there was enough value in my words to join me. And thousands have viewed my site and connected with me, representing 98 different countries in the world. Folks from thousands of miles away wanted this connection. Of course, I have no idea how my thoughts and words have influenced them, but that is not up to me. My part is to live my true self and offer it to the world.

One day, Cheri and I decided to push out further into the world. I spent a few dollars and boosted a series of posts for a month on Facebook and Instagram. We were told that a reasonable expectation for a viewing audience would be approximately five to ten thousand people. After 28 days, 1.6 million people had viewed them. Mind-boggling!

Had I listened to what others had told me or to my small self, believing I could not have an impact on the world, none of this would have happened.

Please understand, the incredible value I find in these two examples is that they represent the extraordinary reach each one of us has. I hope to reinforce you own belief that YOU are capable of making a difference in this world. It doesn’t matter if it’s one person or a hundred thousand people.

If you decide to break out and share your radiant true self with the world, please let me know. And remember, I believe in you.

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Following Your Heart

While away on a break from writing original posts I thought I’d share some of my favorites with you from the past three and a half years. In mid-March I’ll return with more original posts. Until then, please enjoy these.

Have you heard the expression, ‘follow your heart’?

What does it mean to you? How would you go about explaining it to someone else?

If you were asked whether you follow your heart or not, what would you say?

Since we can’t have a two-way dialogue at the moment, I’ll share what it means to me and then ask you another few questions.

A defining idea surfaces.

Is there a practical way to tell the difference between what your mind wants and what your heart wants? That feels like a tricky question for sure.

To me, the things that satisfy my mind bring me happiness, while those things that nourish my heart bring me joy. These two sensations feel entirely different. And while I like the ones that offer happiness, I love the ones that bring me joy.

Following my head (mind) prompts me to accomplish things by way of meeting or exceeding my objectives. I admit I have a tendency to grade or rate each of my experiences and I spend time evaluating them, wondering if I could have done better.

Unfortunately, when I don’t achieve what I set out to accomplish, I am often unhappy and can at times question my worth. While this is happening, I do recognize what a poor choice I’m making, so I try to create triggers within the experience. The triggers are sort of like check points, where I can shift away from my head and view things from my heart and my spirit.

But what does this mean and how can one shift?

A way that works for me is to stop once I recognize a trigger and observe how I am feeling. Is an experience making me angry, anxious, afraid, irritated? Is it providing me with a sense of temporary pleasure or a fleeting glimpse of happiness which I know will not last? If so, these signal me that I am focused on my mind and it’s time to adjust, to shift toward something more real.

When I follow my heart, I notice I set up aims, which are looser than goals. They flex and adapt, and I can experience life, finding what feels like open, free, flavorful experiences. Ones that I can savor and not lose. They last. They become ‘keepers’.

Recently I’ve been struggling with a set of decisions regarding which projects from my list I want to move forward with. Every time I begin the process I’m faced with a series of obstacles. They block my path, and I cannot see over, around or beyond them.

Fortunately, a knowing part of me realizes that obstacles represent triggers too, so I allow myself to move deeper into my heart, knowing it is my mind that is having the problem.

As so often happens, I call out for help from Lia, a divine feminine voice that lives within me. She awaits me at all times and is ever present in my life. I believe she is awaiting each of us, ready to share once we ask for her assistance.

Although I ordinarily gain valuable insights quickly, I discovered that I needed a series of conversations over several days to reach far enough below the surface to unveil what I needed to hear. Lia is always patient with me, giving me time to uncover for myself what I so desperately feel I need. In this case, she led me forward until I could see with crystal clarity. She offered me an image I could hold on to and use whenever I felt at a crossroad.

It was a bracelet with two charms hanging from it. One was labeled, ‘fear’ and the other, ‘love’. She said that no matter what I encountered in my life, my experience would be guided by the choice I made between fear and love.

I wanted to know more. I wanted to feel what kind of difference this choice would make, particularly when I reimagined the projects I’d been considering. So, I found my list and asked myself what would be the outcome if in each case I chose to look at them with love.

I know this sounds simple. I also know simple things are often profound.

When I reviewed my list, everything fell into place. Rather than feeling confused, everything was clear to me, and I now know what to do.

So here are my follow up questions for you.

Is there a way for you to imagine wearing a bracelet with two charms, one ‘fear’ and the other ‘love’? Can you use love to find a way forward, no matter what the situation is? Can you use your heart (and your spirit) to lead your way forward?

I hope you can.

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Try Something New

Here’s an idea for you, an invitation, now that we’re about to change seasons. Maybe the folks that manage the calendar don’t agree, but it always seems to me that as soon as the leaves start turning and kids go back to school, it’s a season change.

Anyway, here’s my idea.

Try something new. Maybe even several new things.

It’s one of the most beneficial things you can do for yourself. It sparks your sense of wonder, offers intellectual stimulation, creates interest, tests your powers, and invites exploration and excitement.

It doesn’t matter what it is as long as it catches your fancy. It doesn’t have to be expensive or time consuming or require lots of planning. It can be spur of the moment or a new ritual that attracts your interest.

My wife and I just returned from three days in Boston, Massachusetts. It was a fabulous spot to engage our sense of adventure and try new things.

We went for a harbor cruise and learned a lot of interesting facts about Boston, especially about the development of the city as an important seaport. We walked a lot and had dinner in the North End at a couple of nice Italian restaurants.

I am one of the least adventurous eaters around. Plain is the name of my game, but I challenge myself to try new foods while on vacation. This time it was artichoke hearts and cannoli. And no, I don’t mean together. I consider myself one for two, since the cannoli was good.

We also visited two art museums, the Isabella Stewart Gardner Palace, and the Museum of Fine Arts. The first museum had an interior courtyard that rose from the ground floor to a glass ceiling six stories straight up. The flowers in the courtyard were gorgeous and the overlooking windows provided great views from each of the three floors we checked out. The MFA had art from many different periods, including one contemporary exhibit where the canvases were made from various grasses. Yes, actual grass grew on the canvas, covering a photo of a person’s face. Pretty cool.

I’m offering these as examples, but feel free to choose your own ideas to pursue. That’s how this whole thing works.

Besides eating new foods, seeing new sites, and learning interesting facts, there are lots of ways to try something new.

If you’re looking for some suggestions, I came prepared.

Is there a skill you’ve been thinking about but haven’t gotten around to trying, like pickle ball, painting, gardening, building with Legos or photography?

Is now the right time for exploring a new interest, perhaps yoga, meditation, Pilates, or starting a collection, maybe stamps or coins?

And just maybe, now is the time to make a change in the way you’re managing your life.

Could it be simpler? Could you release some tension in your life? What would happen if you started a smiling practice, where instead of allowing frustrating moments to rule your life, you chose to smile.

Would your life be more interesting if you stopped once in a while to count your blessings and offer gratitude for all that you do have. That one appeals to me because I know what a difference it makes in my life when I shift my focus.

What kind of a change would happen inside you if the new thing you tried was to give yourself and others love every chance you could? When the car in front of you is moving at a snail’s pace or you pick the wrong check-out lane again could you step back, let go and think of a wonderful memory in your life to fill the open space.

Whatever you choose, I wish you well and I hope it rewards you in many ways.

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Following Your Heart

Have you heard the expression, ‘follow your heart’?

What does it mean to you? How would you go about explaining it to someone else?

If you were asked whether you follow your heart or not, what would you say?

Since we can’t have a two-way dialogue at the moment, I’ll share what it means to me and then ask you another few questions.

A defining idea surfaces.

Is there a practical way to tell the difference between what your mind wants and what your heart wants? That feels like a tricky question for sure.

To me, the things that satisfy my mind bring me happiness, while those things that nourish my heart bring me joy. These two sensations feel entirely different. And while I like the ones that offer happiness, I love the ones that bring me joy.

Following my head (mind) prompts me to accomplish things by way of meeting or exceeding my objectives. I admit I have a tendency to grade or rate each of my experiences and I spend time evaluating them, wondering if I could have done better.

Unfortunately, when I don’t achieve what I set out to accomplish, I am often unhappy and can at times question my worth. While this is happening, I do recognize what a poor choice I’m making, so I try to create triggers within the experience. The triggers are sort of like check points, where I can shift away from my head and view things from my heart and my spirit.

But what does this mean and how can one shift?

A way that works for me is to stop once I recognize a trigger and observe how I am feeling. Is an experience making me angry, anxious, afraid, irritated? Is it providing me with a sense of temporary pleasure or a fleeting glimpse of happiness which I know will not last? If so, these signal me that I am focused on my mind and it’s time to adjust, to shift toward something more real.

When I follow my heart, I notice I set up aims, which are looser than goals. They flex and adapt, and I can experience life, finding what feels like open, free, flavorful experiences. Ones that I can savor and not lose. They last. They become ‘keepers’.

Recently I’ve been struggling with a set of decisions regarding which projects from my list I want to move forward with. Every time I begin the process I’m faced with a series of obstacles. They block my path, and I cannot see over, around or beyond them.

Fortunately, a knowing part of me realizes that obstacles represent triggers too, so I allow myself to move deeper into my heart, knowing it is my mind that is having the problem.

As so often happens, I call out for help from Lia, a divine feminine voice that lives within me. She awaits me at all times and is ever present in my life. I believe she is awaiting each of us, ready to share once we ask for her assistance.

Although I ordinarily gain valuable insights quickly, I discovered that I needed a series of conversations over several days to reach far enough below the surface to unveil what I needed to hear. Lia is always patient with me, giving me time to uncover for myself what I so desperately feel I need. In this case, she led me forward until I could see with crystal clarity. She offered me an image I could hold on to and use whenever I felt at a crossroad.

It was a bracelet with two charms hanging from it. One was labeled, ‘fear’ and the other, ‘love’. She said that no matter what I encountered in my life, my experience would be guided by the choice I made between fear and love.

I wanted to know more. I wanted to feel what kind of difference this choice would make, particularly when I reimagined the projects I’d been considering. So, I found my list and asked myself what would be the outcome if in each case I chose to look at them with love.

I know this sounds simple. I also know simple things are often profound.

When I reviewed my list, everything fell into place. Rather than feeling confused, everything was clear to me, and I now know what to do.

So here are my follow up questions for you.

Is there a way for you to imagine wearing a bracelet with two charms, one ‘fear’ and the other ‘love’? Can you use love to find a way forward, no matter what the situation is? Can you use your heart (and your spirit) to lead your way forward?

I hope you can.

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Staying In Your Own Lane

It’s interesting to me how various phrases come into our working vocabulary. One I’ve recently heard is the phrase, ‘stay in your own lane’, by which the person generally means, mind your own business, and stop interfering in mine.

There can be especially troublesome moments, at work and in other settings, when someone who has an insufficient knowledge or ability to handle things, attempts to interject themselves in tasks that are not assigned to them. Although it’s difficult to redirect these folks, it’s often necessary in order to inform them that you have things covered and it’s your job, not theirs.

Overstepping is particularly challenging when the person refuses to stop, either by their intentional or unintentional actions and it may require supervisory intervention.

Why all this focus on ‘staying in your own lane’?

The answer is, because I’ve been having conversations with Lia, an ethereal feminine voice of god who has been offering me wisdom and guidance about this very subject, but from an entirely different direction.

How so, you may ask?

It all started with a conversation about the challenges I felt about being able to stay connected to the divine. What I want most in my life is to feel a direct, unwavering, deep connection with the divine, so that the whole of my life revolves around it.

What I discover on a daily basis is that there are numerous distractions that push or force or entice me away from this straight line. There are so many of them that I easily get caught up in them and lose my focus. Although I tell myself that they are worth my attention, what really happens is that they sap my strength and dissipate my power, which makes it difficult and near impossible to maintain my true aim, union with the divine.

I cannot stay in my own desired lane.

No outside force is doing this to me. They may try, but because I have free will, whatever happens is either because I allow it, or I choose it.

Of course, I turned to Lia and asked for her guidance. Here is what she told me.

“Until you practice ‘staying in your own lane’ (in my case, paying attention to my most important aim of deeply connecting with the divine), you think it is not possible, but as you practice, you see that it is possible. When a distraction arrives (anything I initially perceive as not heading me toward the divine), the first and most essential step is to take notice of its arrival. Spend a moment truly seeing it for what it is, an opportunity to teach you something valuable. Allow it to offer you its insight, thank it, then move back into your lane.”

I wondered if there was more. There was.

Lia continued, “Distractions are not permanent, but rather temporary events, guideposts to help redirect you with a greater awareness, and improve your focus.”

That made sense to me, especially if after some practice, it became a relatively quick process for me. If I could make the choice to acknowledge them, see their value and release them, I would easily be able to return to my straight path and then stay in my lane.

I expressed a deep sense of gratitude to Lia for sharing these valuable insights with me and I hope they are of worth to you as well.

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Releasing Outside Validations

Do you look outside yourself for validation from others? Or, are you fully content to gauge your own successes and sense of worth?

While I’d love to say that this is not a problem for me and that I’ve graduated to not caring what others think, I’m not there yet.

But I want to be, so when something triggers me, I turn to Lia, the feminine ethereal voice of god who speaks with me and offers wise counsel.

If you struggle with this same issue perhaps, you’d like to hear the things she told me recently. Here are her words to me.

“All numbers (think grades, bank balances, job title, and other external measures of ‘success’) are outside validations which you presently use to rate yourself and your value. They were conceived as part of your cultural training, but none of these represent the truth which is that you came from heaven as a divine being and no number can make you any more or less perfect.”

That’s a huge statement for me to consider, but I understand the essence of it because I see my true worth is inside of me, planted there before I came here.

She continued, “Your cultural training is dedicated to localizing you, to keep you separate from all other entities here, so that you are seen as an individual. It does this through the collective ego (the sum total of all egos of those living on earth with you). The collective ego then stratifies all entities by means of ‘numbers and grades’ and other identifiers (skin color, IQ, skill sets…). The collective ego uses a great deal of energy to accomplish this, just as your personal ego does for you. The energy your ego uses is drawn from your other individual aspects (physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual) and drains them of the energy they need in order to perform. The collective ego also does this, but on a much larger scale.”

I took a moment to absorb this, and Lia went on, “Both your ego and the collective ego pursue protection and expansion of you as their mission. They assess risks and take actions to protect their territories, both at rest and during expansion.”

“Your ego creates an external image of you, which it attempts to maintain and enhance, and it uses ‘numbers and grades’ as one of its main power sources. This is where outside validations come in. They are two-edged swords. If allowed, your ego will spend a great deal of time drawing power from what it sees as positive outside validations from others, but it will also expend much energy defending against criticisms it receives to its created image.”

This is making sense to me in a way I’d never considered before, and a question crystalizes for me.

What kind of life do I want to lead? Is my desire to live a joy-filled life? If so, I need to be aware of what drains my energy and what enhances it. If I allow myself to be subject to outside validations, I now more fully realize the kind of life this will create.

I realize too it would be wise for me to choose carefully and to pay attention to how and where I use my energy. Releasing any need or desire I have for outside validations will prevent any unnecessary energy drains.

I understand this may be easier said than done, but I know it’s important enough to try. As in the past, I recognize the value of shifting toward my aims. So, I consider, what are my aims?

What draws me forward, lights me up, gives me hope, and fills my heart? What feels divine to me and creates joy?

I spent time writing down answers to these questions and discovered a wonderful list of inside ‘validations’. Validations that are reflections of who I am, a divine being living an earth life. I found answers that touch my spirit and set me free.

My hope is that you create your own personal list and that it helps guide you toward experiencing your own sense of joy and best life.

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Aims and Objectives

Do you have any aims and objectives in your life? If you were to list them, what would they be?

This question intrigued me, and I wanted to pursue it, but felt that first I needed to define both terms. Were they different or versions of the same idea?

After some thought I came up with the following.

Objectives felt like solid goals. They are definitive expectations which I pursue with the firm conviction of accomplishing them. They are measured by ‘completion’.

Aims felt more fluid. They are intentions that I set, with the hope of experiencing them. My aims are movements toward ‘progress’.

Once I sat back a bit, I could easily see how different these two concepts are. One is heavy and the other is light.

For me, aims and objectives set up a basic framework for my approach to life. What I have to share may connect with some of you, either because you feel the same way or because you know someone else who is like this.

When applying these concepts, I found that they have to become practical to mean anything to me. There has to be something specific to sink my teeth into.

I though back over my life and one truth became apparent to me.

In almost every case, objectives only felt valuable if I accomplished them all. Whenever there was something left undone, it plagued me and reduced my sense of self-worth.

In contrast, aims offered me flexibility, room to grow, and a way to alter my perspective about my pursuits. In short, they gave me freedom and allowed me the opportunity to enjoy the progress I experienced.

I thought I’d share an example with you from my life.

I used to be a White Knight.

A white knight is someone who feels the need to be a savior on some level. Although a white knight can be helpful to have around, they end up stealing other’s ability to stand on their own and only offer the white knight a sense of self-worth if they are rewarded by someone else.

As a white knight I felt it was my responsibility to save people, to please people, to right wrongs, and to protect the ‘little people’. These responsibilities created all of my objectives. And as you can probably guess, I was never wholly successful and as a consequence, I always experienced frustration and a continual depletion of my own worthiness.

It took many years for me to see clearly how this approach to life did not benefit me or anyone else. And yet, seeing something and doing something about it are two very different things.

I’m sure it wasn’t a change that happened in one singular moment, but that’s how it felt. There was a dawning and a major shift because at once, I knew that embracing ‘aims’ was my way forward. That, and being honest with myself, even if that meant moving into uncharted territory.

I realize my aims might sound unusual to you, but it’s truly what I feel, and it represents the light I aim to step into.

I aim to be a divine messenger. I aim to invite people to experience new thoughts and ideas. I aim to aid, encourage, and support folks during their earth walk. I aim to assist others with finding their own clarity and making choices which benefit them on their path through life. And I aim to experience JOY while in the flow of my own life.

Releasing objectives and embracing aims offers me a world of freedom and opens me fully.

My hope is that you find your own right path.