Category: attitude

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Nothing For Granted

I’ve been thinking about how often I seem to take things for granted. Maybe this happens to you too.

I began wondering why. Could it be that my mind is just too busy with other things or is there something deeper going on?

There was a somewhat melancholy feeling running through me and words started flowing onto a page in my journal. I thought I’d share them with you, so that maybe together we could remind ourselves to take nothing for granted.

Nothing For Granted

Life is precious,

Sometimes staying in one place,

Sometimes leaping head.

I want to remember it all.

I wonder to myself about things,

About moments I experience,

What if this were my last hug,

The last spoke word I’ll ever hear,

What if this were my last sunset,

Last long soothing shower I’ll ever have,

Last delicious meal I’ll eat,

Or song I’ll hear,

Or walk I’ll take,

What if it’s the last firefly I’ll see light up

On a hot summer night,

Last starlit sky,

Last new spring green explosion of leaves I’ll see,

Or the last brilliant colorful autumn extravaganza,

What if it’s the last time I’ll feel the warmth of a cozy blanket,

Or the sunshine on my face,

What if this was the last time I’ll feel my wife’s lips against mine,

Would it change what it means to me

To be alive,

Would I treasure it,

Savor it,

Breath into it.

Would I try to hold onto it for dear life.

I wonder,

What do I want my life to be like.

So,

I sit with all of this

And let it wash over me

And I know what I want,

I want everything

To mean something to me,

Every sting,

Every fall and rise,

Every illusive dream,

Hurt, hope, every breath,

Every face and heart connection,

I want the whole collection of life,

Because it all matters.

And what I want most

Is to feel alive

And connected

And

I want to take nothing for granted,

Ever

I am curious what things you’d put on your list. Maybe you are too.

Be well.

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Pep Talk

I have two questions for you. Don’t worry, they’re pretty easy.

The first is…do you believe you know when someone is not telling you the truth?

I can’t say with any sense of confidence that I always can. I think there are many times when others fool me. I might have an impression one way or the other, but I’m not one hundred percent sure.

I wonder what your answer is and how sure you are.

My second question is…do you know when you are telling yourself something untrue?

This one is easier for me, how about you?

I believe I almost always know when I’m trying to convince myself that something is true. There is a certain feeling I experience. A kind of ‘knowing’.

I wonder if you experience this same inner sense.

Okay, so you may be wondering why I asked you these two questions and what it has to do with a ‘pep talk’.

I’ll start by introducing two concepts that are popular in our culture. The first is the idea of ‘fake it until you make it’ and the second is the notion that ‘you can make something come true merely by attempting to manifest or attract it’.

Let me first say that if these work for you, please ignore everything I’m going to say. Somehow, you’ve discovered a way to reap the rewards of this kind of thinking.

But for me, neither idea works as advertised and the main reason is that they both represent lies I would be telling myself. Because I can tell when I’m not being truthful with myself, I cannot create fake feelings or manifest anything I don’t believe possible.

I simply won’t buy this kind of story without some evidence to support it, no matter how much I might want it. If you’re like me, telling yourself a fictional story (ie: that you are rich beyond your wildest dreams) does not make it so. And similarly, trying to convince yourself that you can attract anything just because you would like it to be so, does not work.

Certainly, I have hopes and dreams and want things but in order for me to experience them I need to find a different way.

Here’s the pep talk part.

I believe each of us has incredible promise and potential, in some part received at birth, in other parts taught to us or discovered by us. Capitalizing on what we already have and taking the next step, that is a way forward for each of us.

Asking for help, putting forth effort, taking advantage of opportunities, either presented to us or pursued by us, these are ways to experience what we want in life.

Expecting it to come to us by some mysterious means or without effort on our part seems to me an entirely unrealistic notion.

I firmly believe each of us in capable of taking the next step, whatever it might be, either with others help or because we actively pursue it ourselves. Taking one step leads to taking another and before you know it, you’re taking aim toward what you intend to experience.

I’d like to cheerlead you in this process. I encourage you to take action, no matter the size, then take some more. Don’t worry if the steps are sometimes sideways or backwards, just keeping moving. Congratulate yourself for what you accomplish and savor the experience. And once in a while tell yourself ‘BRAVO’ for your efforts…you are a superstar.

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Changing an Attitude

Are you task focused, or can you go with the flow?

I recognize that many times I become very task oriented as I’m sure folks who know me best would confirm. They’d probably tell you about my To Do lists, several of which are color coded. That should give you a pretty clear picture.

Fortunately for my peace of mind and sanity, I’ve altered my views about my lists. I now use them more as guides, rather than as mandatory self-assignments. They currently stand as reminders of things I need to attend to (doctor and dentist appointments) or people I’m getting together with or meetings I have. Things I don’t want to forget.

To be completely open, I do have other lists too, the kind that can become overwhelming and oppressive, if I let them. Maybe you have a few of these too.

Over the course of time an antidote arrived in the form of a complete sentence.

“Aim for progress, rather than completion.”

What an incredible freedom this offers. It allows me to keep an item on my list and make strides with it, but without the burden of feeling like I have to finish it (or else). It helps let me off the hook.

I also discovered a companion to accompany this antidote.

“There is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ way.”

For me, this one takes a lot of getting used to, especially considering the amount of cultural training I’ve received. My entire educational and work experience demanded and rewarded the completion of tasks be done in the ‘correct’ way. Thinking outside the box was often punished and there were only rewards for compliance with the ‘right’ way. It took an abundance of years for me to understand there are other possibilities and more than ONE right answer.

Then I was struck with a novel question. What if there was no such thing as a ‘right or wrong’ way, only the way I chose? This idea encouraged me to reexamine my entire thinking process and question the underlying assumption of there being ‘one right way’. I came to discover that in many cases, perhaps in all cases, I’d never know until I experienced the final outcome. There are just too many connections along the way to know the truth about any of my choices.

Then came another idea to join the group, a helpful suggestion designed to shift my attitude and attention.

“Focus on feelings, rather than on accomplishments.”

I love this one because it reorders my world and focuses my awareness on what’s most important to me…my feelings.

It’s entirely likely I will not accomplish every one of my aims. For whatever reason, I might get only so far and have to stop or redirect my attention elsewhere. However, the progress I did make and how I felt along the way, I get to keep and savor.

As it turns out, my feelings are the truest barometer of my satisfaction with life. They connect me with my source (divine nature) and with others, all those I love and whom I want to share my life with.

One final idea came along, and it enhances all the others before it.

“Come to a place of peace and joy with everything.”

And, I think to myself, isn’t this what I am really after? And my answer is YES.