Outside Your Comfort Zone

I wanted to ask you a question.

How do you deal with things outside your comfort zone?

Does it freak you out or paralyze you for a while? Or are you able to extend yourself without much effort and roll with things?

My follow up question would be…how do you think your comfort zone was created?

When I look back over the years, I suspect mine has widened and narrowed many times depending on what I’m experiencing at the time.

Next month I’ll be going to my fiftieth college graduation celebration, a milestone to be sure. I still remember how I felt on my first day. I was very worried I would never fit in, wouldn’t make any friends, wouldn’t be able to “hack it” (as I would have said at the time). And I felt that way for quite a long time. But I did meet friends and did fit in and after a miserable academic beginning I was able to redeem my grades and graduate.

There were other times too when my comfort zone was exceeded, many of them dealing with firsts…first day on the job, first time speaking to a crowd of my peers and bosses, first time I gave a sermon in church. My list goes on and on.

I bet yours does too.

It would be nice to think that I am passed all of that and that I’ve pushed my zone so far that nothing I do bothers me or challenges me. But that would not be the truth. I still do plenty of things that press hard against my perceived limits.

And that is the exact point of this post.

Pushing past our own self-imposed limits.

I’d like to encourage you to consider giving yourself permission to do something, anything that challenges you beyond what you think are your limits.

I’d like to advocate for you and tell you that you CAN do extraordinary things.

You are probably saying something out loud like, where does this person get off telling me I CAN do extraordinary things? He doesn’t even know me!

Well, in one way that is true. In all likelihood, I don’t know you personally and you’d have a case to make that therefore I cannot comment on your capabilities.

But here’s the thing…I can tell you this because you are here reading this post, which says to me that you are searching and I’m willing to bet part of your search is for someone to “see” you. To see the powerful, radiant being you are. Sure, you have your share of fears and have probably been knocked down a few times, but you likely also got back up.

I know that every person on this planet has the capacity for MORE, even if it’s only one more step. I’m here to champion the idea of your taking one more step and to tell you it could lead to the beginning of something grand and wonderful.

You need examples?

Okay, I am afraid of failure. I also happen to know the easiest way to fail…never trying in the first place. So, I gather my courage, reflect on past successes, give myself wholly to the task at hand and use a sacred formula for overcoming obstacles and moving beyond my comfort zone.

I’m going to share it with you. I spend time conceiving what I aim to experience. I know very well that if I can conceive something, it can be mine. Once I have conceived it, I sit with it until I believe it will happen for/to me. Of course there can be lingering doubts, but I tell them to step aside because I’m busy believing. And then, I take action. Often, it is a series of actions. And during the whole process I focus on my feelings and how joyful I feel that I am doing something I feel is meaningful.

So, here’s my practical example. I’m going to facilitate my own retreat on a subject that is very near and dear to me, talking with (god). I have been having personal, intimate conversations with (god) for over 27 years and I want to share the simple process I use so that others can have their OWN conversations. Stepping out and doing everything for the retreat myself is very challenging and really pushes me beyond my comfort zone.

Here’s another element that helps.

I tell myself to move forward, to take one step at a time and to keep going. There are always excuses I can offer myself, but I remind myself not to accept any of them and to keep moving forward.

I believe in you and know you can do the same thing. I hope you decide to give it a try.

Engagement with Life

Do you ever wonder what it means to engage fully with life? Or, what you need to do to interact in a way that creates exactly the experiences you desire while here on this earth plane?

I’d like to share a conversation I recently had with Lia, a part of (god) that comes to me as a feminine voice filled with love.

If you’ve been with me for a while, you may already know about her, but if not, I think it would help for me to explain a little bit.

Lia is always available to me (and to everyone) and waits for me to begin our conversations, although I do believe she places a constant string of reminders in my path. I know she’s there and loves to talk with me, but I have to decide to quiet my world so that I can hear her.

Every time I do, I fall in love with my connection to her.

So, when I felt challenged by the route my life was taking, I literally stopped what I was doing and sat down. I breathed in and out and allowed my mind to slow down until it was at peace. It was then possible for me to engage with her. You see, she never overrides my free will, because this is my life.

The thought that was circling my mind was, ‘can I experience exactly what I choose here on earth’?

This question cycles around and around for me and I desperately wanted an answer. I waited, patiently (well, mostly).

I don’t actually hear an out loud voice, it’s more like I ‘know’ what she’s saying to me.

Lia began speaking, “At this point, with much of your life you are not choosing consciously, rather, you are allowing life to take its own course. This means you are not fully engaged.”

I thought about this for a bit and came up with a three-part conclusion. First, I recognized it was true, I don’t always consciously choose my path. Second, when I do, I don’t consistently choose the same path, so I don’t experience what I say I want to experience. And third, I don’t always believe in what I do choose, so I get very mixed results. I asked, “Is this what you’re talking about?”

Lia acknowledged, “Yes”, then continued, “the engagement I’m speaking about is found in the sacred formula of ‘conceive, believe and act’. This is what determines your level of success and whether you experience your intended choices.”

I needed to let that sink in. It seemed to me there was more to it, so I asked for clarification.

She paused, then told me this, “You can’t just say you want your life to be a specific way and then magically experience your request. It would be helpful if you understood an important nuance. The use of the word ‘want’ produces an experience of ‘wanting’. It does not produce ‘having’. Wanting is an action word without the power to create. It is weak because there is no conviction or action behind it. Similarly, when you express a ‘desire’ or a ‘wish’ for something, it would be wise to recognize neither leads to creation. They are ‘hollow’ words. Their only result is a buildup of more desire or wish fulfillment. Without action, they are both useless.”

I sat back and thought about this, and it became even more obvious to me that words really do matter.

Lia added, “Your cultural vocabulary plays a significant role in your life and how you choose to experience the world. You say that you want to engage fully with life and to experience exactly what you choose. Now that we’ve spoken, I’d like to ask you how you believe this will happen.”

After a moment I responded with these words, “For me to experience anything in this world, I need to consistently conceive, believe, and take action. And part of this active process is ‘claiming’ the results, rather than merely hoping, wishing, wanting, or desiring them.”

I could feel Lia smiling at me and nodding agreement.

I believe I have a pathway now and I wanted to share it with you.