Category: competitive

Are you a competitive person?

I wonder how quickly you were able to answer that question. As quickly as others might be? If you’re wondering, you probably are competitive.

I know that I am, even though it’s not across the board or evenly divided between things. Being honest, I would not say it was one of my better traits.

It’s lead to both positive and negative outcomes. I needed it for the workplace, to survive and thrive. But I don’t actually need it during my day-to-day life and often find that it works against me.

When I feel I need to be the fastest, smartest, most hard working, funniest or anything else, I’ve come to the conclusion…I lose.

If I pay closer attention, I can easily see that by feeling the need to be better, I set up a competition between myself and someone else and there is usually a clear winner and loser. Someone is always going to be unhappy.

I’m no longer a fan of this process. Instead, I’d like to find a way for everyone to be mutually satisfied.

I want to borrow an idea from the legal community. Instead of the title I’ve given this post of ‘no compete clause’, there is a legal document known as a ‘non-compete agreement’, whose purpose is to prevent an employee from competing with their prior employer. The employee is prohibited from certain things, such as revealing proprietary information or stealing clients.

It’s a way of limiting competition and that’s what I’d like to do for myself.

As I thought about this, I wondered how I could manage to rein myself in. I wondered how I was going to be able to go from being pretty competitive to valuing mutual happiness. It didn’t seem realistic to believe I could make this switch in one step, so I decided to break it down and start slowly.

I wondered, what if I choose a relatively short period of time and committed to a ‘no compete clause’, where I consciously decided to release any inner drive to ‘compete’ with anyone about anything? Could I see myself being able to do this? And, if I did, what would the results be? Would it impact me in a favorable way?

So, I decided to begin today and focus on this one simple idea and see where it takes me.

Early this morning I went to the YMCA to workout. Swimming in the pool drew my interest first, so I put on my bathing suit, grabbed my towel and flip-flops, and headed through the glass door to the pool. Incredibly, there was one open lane, so I jumped in and began backstroking my way to the other end. You might assume this free swim would not invoke any competitive urges in me, but that’s where you’d be wrong. Every time I’m in a swim lane, something inside me wants to get to the other end faster than the people in the lanes next to me.

I’m a reasonably good swimmer, but certainly not as fast as most of those at the pool. But ordinarily that doesn’t stop me from trying. And yes, there is a part of my brain that screams at me, saying, ‘what are you doing, they’re not racing you, you silly fool’?

Because I’m challenging myself to find a better way of moving through this life, and I’ve committed today to not competing, I tried to ignore the other swimmers. It was hard at first, but then something else took over my thoughts. The force that usually attempts to ‘win,’ released itself and gave in.

It surprised me and created real joy inside of me. I felt free, liberated from one of my customary competitive rules. I allowed myself to be aware that other swimmer surrounded me but was unconcerned with their speed or position. I allowed myself to feel the cool softness of the water, the strength in my arms and legs, the distance I was covering, the sensations of my environment.

It felt like winning without competing.

It encourages me to consider how this might apply to other aspects in my life. I wondered; how could I continue my idea of the ‘no compete clause’?

Now that it’s here, I think there will be numerous ways to use and profit from this. If this appeals to you, I hope you profit as well.