Category: connections

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Time to Reconsider

I have many teachers in my life, some exist in proximity to me, others are farther away. Each of them reminds me of things I want to learn to release or to be at peace with. They are predominantly things that irritate, annoy or upset me.

I guess by now I ought to be used to this, but I’m not.

If I am not careful, I get sucked into their orbit and react in kind. This does not serve me.

To be at peace, I know I need to release any attachment to my version of what is ‘right’. I wonder to myself, how is this done?

At first glance, I’m tempted to accept and embrace what my culture has taught me, which is that I deserve to feel the way I do, about anything. If I can find someone who shares my feelings or who otherwise supports my right to feel the way I do, I have no incentive to make any changes, despite the amount of conflict and internal suffering I experience.

Feeling justified is an end unto itself and it halts all other thoughts and holds me in place.

The other thing it does is it creates a host of troublesome feelings inside me and ultimately keeps me from any sense of peace or freedom.

It’s too high a price to pay.

My feelings create a crack in the doorway, a place where some light comes in. And when the light hits my feelings, I sense there is the possibility for change.

Perhaps my view of the world is wrong. Perhaps there’s another way to view my situation that would be better for me. Perhaps I don’t have to stay in the rut created by constant reinforcement.

This feels like good news to me. I try to open my eyes and heart further. What change could I make that would allow my life to be more peaceful, contented, even joyful?

The first thing that occurs to me is that I could remind myself that there are numerous ways to live in this world. This translates as, my way may not be the best or only way and others’ views might make more sense.

It takes some inner strength to say this out loud to myself. For whatever reason, it’s challenging for me to think I have it wrong, but what a wonderful opportunity it is for me to entertain this idea.

This whole concept is one of suspended belief and judgement. A sort of time out or pause, so that I can reconsider what I believe.

It’s a mind opening invitation I can give myself.

If I sit back and think about any given situation from a neutral position, maybe I’ll see a bigger picture, one that may offer me a wider view and provide space to see if what I believe still rings true.

It feels like a wise choice to make and I’m going to give it a try.

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Special Connections

One of the most beautiful things about life to me is that anything can become a beautiful divine moment.

It may be momentary, like a dew drop laying on a spider web glistening in the sun. Or it could be a lifetime friendship that begins with one word.

Never knowing feels like part of the magic and mystery. I’ve had lots of these moments during my life. I wait and I watch for them. I encourage them and it feels like more come when I am paying attention to life, rather than getting caught up in daily routines.

I worked for a non-profit agency and one of the opportunities each employee was offered was to wrap Christmas and Hannukah gifts at a local bookstore. Whatever the purchaser paid would be given to our agency to help fund our outreach into the community.

There was a sign-up sheet posted so I decided to book myself for an hour or two. I didn’t know very many of our staff at the time since I was new to the organization. That didn’t matter really because it seemed like such a nice thing to do and maybe I’d get to know someone better.

Well, imagine two strangers sitting waiting for folks to stop by and ask them to wrap presents. What else is there to do but talk? Ordinarily talk is about the weather or what you did over the weekend, not about things that really matter. Not about sharing from your depth with someone you barely know. Not about meeting somewhere in the middle of our earthly existence to see past everything else, to someone’s core. And not about saying out loud what you’ve never said before. Not about showing trust and not about believing someone could care enough to hear what you have to say.

These things just don’t happen.

But, in this case, that’s exactly what did happen.

I met a new friend, Carla, who would become one of my all-time favorite people and despite the fact that we live over a thousand miles away from each other and don’t talk very often, I still know in my heart we are deeply connected.

No subject seemed to be off the table that day while wrapping presents. We moved easily from one subject to the next. And we thoroughly enjoyed interacting with our customers, feeding of each other’s pleasure and the magic of the season.

I enjoyed the experience so much that I cut out a section of the paper we were using to wrap presents and wrote our names and the date on it and placed it on my bulletin board at work. It remained there for the thirteen years I worked there and came home with me.

Is it possible for me to tell anyone else how I’ve changed because someone else trusted me enough to be honest with me? Did I know then what beauty would be mine today because someone shared their truth with me?

It is one of those rare times when the giving and receiving mixed so thoroughly that we could not tell one from the other.

So, what did I learn that day?

Plenty. I learned that when you offer yourself the freedom to be a part of someone else’s life, you always profit, even if for only a moment. I learned that sharing is one of life’s most treasured gifts. I learned that taking one step can lead to a whole lifetime of rewards. I learned that by allowing myself to be honest, open, and trusting, I gain trust, openness, and honesty in return.

And I learned that there is magic and mystery in every moment I am prepared to give myself. I believe this is something worth remembering.