Another View of Death

I realize that death is a very difficult topic for many people, both when thinking about the death of others and as it pertains to themselves.


We’re generally steeped in our cultural and religious views and tend to accept whatever we’ve been told since we were children. Perhaps every so often we’ll challenge some of what others told us, but mostly I think we run on autopilot, treating the whole issue of death based on how our parents or other influential people in our lives trained us.

I’m not sure exactly why, but I don’t automatically accept what others tell me. I’ve had to figure most things out for myself, to have them fit together in a way that makes sense to me or at least line up in some kind of order.

So, when I think about the subject of death, I challenge myself to see it from different perspectives.

One example of this is a poem I wrote. I wanted to explore with an open mind, so I sat and allowed thoughts, ideas, and pictures to form.

Here’s what came through me.

Death

God’s most misunderstood child

A child I’ve known and come to love completely

A guardian of the gate, a part of the dark mist before the veil

The first to welcome you back

before any of the bright lights appear

A beautiful poet with words that are music

An usher toward your own destination

according to your own beliefs

A friend who has waited patiently

for the moment of your choosing

How divine to know that true life begins with this child

What peace to know love and bliss share this child’s name

How thankful for this I am.

I feel a need to explain a little and to give you some context.

I have memories of life in heaven before I came to earth. They are mostly images and feelings and very difficult to translate into words. I think that’s the way it is with some things, they transcend what we are able to communicate to each other.

The poem attempts to offer an alternate view by sharing that death is a transition back to a place of love and bliss. I absolutely believe this. I know this because I’ve been there and will return once this earthly life is over. There is enormous peace in this.

I fully recognize that we all have your own set of beliefs surrounding death and that many of them are based on how deeply we miss those who have died, especially if it was under horrible circumstances.

I’m not saying that the associations with death are not painful or are easy to manage, but I do feel there is something important about knowing where we and those we love go to next, that can alter how we feel about death.

From my perspective of having been in heaven before coming here, I understand there is something very important to remember.

It may not feel right to you, because we judge things solely from our earth world perspective, but what I remember is that every essence is there in heaven. No essence is excluded, regardless of what role they played while on earth. We all came from heaven, and we all return to heaven, pure and sacred. And because of this, death means something different to me. Not an end, but a new beginning. A reunion with the divine.

There is a guardian at the gate who never judges, never refuses. They always welcome every essence back, because it is everyone’s home. Death is just the doorway we enter from.

What Writing My Own Obit Taught Me

Have you ever wondered about the marvelous truths that could be revealed by one simple act of writing? In this case, I’m talking about writing your own obituary notice.

Okay, let me explain.

I know this may sound a little crazy and you needn’t be concerned because, in order to write your own obit, you have to be alive, so all is well. What I want to share with you is that this can be an incredible celebratory experience, quite the contrary to what you might be imagining.

I’ll start at the beginning.

Several years ago, I attended a workshop at the Kripalu Center in Lenox, Massachusetts. Our class was given a number of challenging writing assignments. Writing your own obit was not one of them, but the material we covered generated a spark that led me to consider the idea.

I didn’t do it right away. It felt too threatening somehow, so I filed it for later consideration. But like so many things in life that beg for attention, it wouldn’t sit still. So, after a few weeks of trying to ignore it, I gave in.

Because of what I discovered, I’m very glad that I did.

Many things became clearer to me about my life. The first one is that many obits focus on how a person died rather than how they lived. It isn’t as important to me how I leave this world, but I care deeply about how I live while I am here, and I would want others to know something about me. Writing gave me a chance to do a life review and choose some meaningful events and I had an absolutely wonderful time sorting through my memories and soaking up the joy.

Several obits I encountered concentrated on lengthy lists of milestones and life achievements. I wondered; did this truly give value to the person’s life?

What I decided to write about were all the moments of celebration that occurred during my life. The events that gave my life deep meaning and connected me with others. I realized I had lots of my own milestones and a host of noteworthy accomplishments, but they all paled in comparison with the simple moments of sharing with the people I held dearest.

Another aspect of most obits is the listing of relatives who either passed away before the person or who survived them. They are often shown in chronological order and seem, at least to me, somewhat perfunctory. What I decided was to list everyone who brought heart-felt meaning into my life. I wanted to acknowledge them and tell them how much they meant to me. Listing everyone was an intensely beautiful experience for me and I glowed for weeks thinking about so many things we’d shared.

This self-assigned task also provided me with another shift in focus. I noticed a tendency to consider that a life could be defined by a list of the things a person accumulates during their earthly existence. A house, cars, artwork, seasonal property, bank and brokerage accounts, jewelry, titles, memberships. When I started thinking about this, I gravitated to the exceptional opportunities I encountered in my life that led me to deep spiritual connections with others. It became an adventure in cherishing experiences and releasing my attachment to things.

I also realized that the purpose of the money I earned or was given was that it allowed me to trade it for the value of worldly experiences, especially when others were involved. Others who at first were acquaintances, then friends, then kin to me (those I loved the most).

I found this writing exercise to be life changing because it allowed me to alter my perspective and see life as one continual celebration of events.

I wonder, if you chose to accept this assignment, if you would find that true as well.