Category: difficulty

Posted on

Adversity

What’s the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear the word adversity? Do you attach an immediate feeling to it? If so, is it a positive or negative sense?

I’d be willing to bet that the word adversity has a negative connotation for you. According to an internet source the word adversity comes from the Latin word ad versus, which literally means “turned against” and figuratively means “hostile or unfavorable.” The example that’s given to illustrate this is that when things seem against you — circumstances or a stroke of bad luck — you are facing adversity.

How often would you say you encounter adversity in your life?

I wonder if each one of us could say- every day!

Does it seem possible to experience a day without some form of adversity? Imagine, you get up late, are stuck in traffic or a long line at a check-out counter, your boss is in a bad mood, you don’t know what to have for dinner, there are too many activities to go to during your day, you are feeling physically or emotionally drained, or mental fatigued. The list can be pretty daunting some days.

There are folks who will tell you to just settle down and not get so bothered, after all none of your issues are…as bad as theirs or others in the world. So much for unhelpful advice.

When you are faced with some form of adversity what do you do? Where do you turn for help? Perhaps you have a trusted family member or friend who dispenses good, sound, wise counsel. If you do, you are very fortunate. If you don’t have someone in your life like this, maybe you’d like a few hints.

As with any advice offered it has to feel right to you, so please take what works and ignore the rest.

I read a quote from Maya Angelou that feels like a very helpful place to start.

“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.”

Admittedly, she is taking a proactive stance and is acknowledging a perceived end benefit where adversity is a good thing. She draws out the benefits and offers encouragement. However, this might not feel true to you during your encounter with what feels like adversity to you.

I think that is what’s most difficult about this process. It requires a shift before things feel better. When you are down, unhappy, or depressed, shifting can be too difficult.

Perhaps it would be more helpful to start closer to the beginning. When adversity strikes, consider stepping back a bit to gain a clearer view. Take an honest look at your situation. Is the issue inside or outside of you? What do you know about what’s happening? Can you see it from different directions than your own? Are there a range of reactions for you to choose from on how to move forward? Are there skills you could work on that would help you?

I derive a lot of lessons from simple things in my life when I’m paying attention. I was looking out at the backyard through my screened porch. I noticed the view was unclear because I was standing too close to the screen. As I stepped back, the view changed and become much clearer.

I think adversity is like that. The closer you are, the more difficult it is to see, so that when you take a step back, you gain better perspective.

It also helps to let go of your first reaction, especially if it is keeping you stuck in negativity. Sometimes I have to tell myself that it isn’t ultimately helpful to be in that place. So, I invite myself to suspend those feelings temporarily, so I can investigate my other options.

Can I see anything beneficial for me? Are there simple things I can do that would change my situation, even a little? Are there others who might be willing to help me if I reach out? Is there anything for me to be grateful for? Can I develop some useful skills by recognizing I am often stronger and more resilient after the hardship is over?

How I answer these questions makes all the difference to me. I suspect the same might be true for you too.

Posted on

Misogi Challenge

When was the last time you challenged yourself?

Was it a long time ago? Was the challenge difficult or easy to complete? Did it truly stretch you and demand something special from you?

Recently my son, Tommy, told me about the ‘Misogi Challenge’. He pointed me to a blog by John Gamades, called Depth Not Width, in which he quoted Jesse Itzler.

According to the blog, Jesse says, “The notion around the misogi is you do something so hard one time a year that it has an impact the other 364 days of the year.”Jesse adds,“Put one big thing on the calendar that scares you, that you never thought you could do, and go out and do it.” 

There are of course other ways to view this experience.

In traditional Japanese culture, misogi involves immersing oneself in cold water or standing beneath a waterfall to purify the body and mind.

But in contemporary times, misogi has taken on a broader meaning. It’s a challenge that pushes you to your limits and forces you to confront your fears, doubts, and weaknesses. The choice or focus of your misogi is expected to have a 50% or greater chance of failure. In addition, a misogi should not kill you or harm others.

Once you complete the challenge, it’s a reminder that you are stronger than you believe and that more is possible than you can imagine. Misogi is an opportunity to reset yourself for the year to come.

I’ve been thinking about this idea for a while now and wondering what I could do to push my own limits.

This brings up several questions. What are my limits? How do I know what they are until I try to do something? Even then, how can I tell whether I can push past them?

I like the idea of challenging myself and I’ve done a lot of things that went far beyond what I initially thought was possible for me.

But what about now? What is so big that it has a 50% chance of failure, but won’t kill me or harm others?

An idea crystalized for me.

I happen to live across the street from the Helderberg Hudson Rail Trail in Albany County. According to the official website, the trail runs from Grove Street in Voorhessville to South Pearl Street in Albany, a one-way distance of 9 miles. One portion of the trail is a steady, fairly long, steep grade that runs for about 2 miles.

I immediately thought about walking the full length of the trail, but that seemed too short to push me beyond my limits, since I already walk 2-3 miles a day.

So, I decided the challenge would be to walk from one end to the other and back again, a total of 18 miles. Plus, I would wear a backpack filled with lots of water, my break and lunch food and some added weight, to make the walk more difficult.

I should add that my feet are not in the best shape. I have arthritis in each of my toes and neuromas in both feet, which cause pain due to swelling around the nerves. I am currently having laser treatments and hope for significant improvement, but I may not know for sure prior to my walk.

I asked myself, “how do I rate the difficulty of this challenge and how does that translate to the benchmark of less than a 50% chance of completion?”

It certainly feels daunting. I’ve never walked that far at one time before and definitely not carrying any weight. I have no idea whether the pain in my feet will be too intense or whether the weather will be too hot and drain and fatigue me.

You could legitimately ask…then why attempt it?

I’ve thought about that too.

And here is what I decided. I want to prove to myself that I am stronger than I think I am, and more capable and determined. I want to feel the boost in physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual energy and excitement that comes from achieving something beyond myself. And something beyond limits that I’ve accepted. I want to embrace new visions for my future, knowing I possess everything it takes to succeed.

Although the task may be rated as less than 50% chance of completion, I believe I have a 100% chance of success, since Tommy will be walking next to me.

So, what challenge do you accept from yourself?