Category: emotional health

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Mistakes

I am curious about something.

Part of me wishes you were right here so we could talk about this. But from what I can see, many of you who read these posts, live on the other side of the world.

I strongly believe it doesn’t matter where any one of us lives when it comes to being human. We have such similar tendencies, one of which seems to be the idea that it is possible to make “mistakes”.

What I want to ask you is, what if we gave ourselves permission to accept and believe that there are no mistakes? What if we opened our minds to the idea that everything that happens, including our own actions, fits in a grander order, one we generally fail to see? What if, we extended grace to ourselves?

You might be thinking that I’m trying to give us a way out of the harmful, hurtful actions we’ve taken. I’m not.

Each time we do something that hurts someone, we can take responsibility, apologize and try to make amends.

These aren’t the mistakes I’m talking about.

I’m talking about the ones that weigh us down so heavily we can barely manage to move. The ones we keep hidden or camouflaged or blame others for. The ones that weaken us, hold us, harm us.

What if we shifted our perspective and believed in the grander scale of things, where we could properly fit everything that happens? What if we could see how beauty can come from any action, any “mistake” that is made?

I’m not saying it would be easy. It wouldn’t.

What I am saying is that it would be worth it.

Imagine if mistakes we’ve made disappeared, even if it took a minute, an hour, a day, a week for it to happen. Imagine how light we would feel. Imagine if every time you felt you’d made a mistake, you replaced the feeling with love and told others you were sorry if you hurt them. Wouldn’t all of the pain and suffering of our imagined mistakes vanish?

It seems to me that what we perceive as mistakes are in fact golden opportunities. We can be right with the world. We can feel light and be the light.

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Worry

I have an idea for you.

It’s something to try next time you find yourself worrying about something. I’m going to assume if you are reading this that you are now or have in the past, worried about something. I feel this is a safe bet.

I tried this recently and it actually worked, so I thought I would pass it along to you. I know at first glance it is going to seem pretty simple. But I believe the best things in this life of ours are simple. We’re often the ones who make them complicated.

Here it is.

The next time you are worried about something (fill in the blank), ask yourself this question:

“What can I do about it right now?”

Here comes the tricky part. After you ask yourself the question…take action. Do something productive.

The trap I can fall into, and it may happen to you too, is that I focus all of my energy in unproductive ways and rarely move forward with any action. Silly really. Action is the only way to change the present. When I shift my perspective and choose some form (any form) of action, I see the whole world differently. And it changes my sense of worry into hope. Maybe it will work for you too.

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Good or Bad

I am wondering something.

Let’s say that instead of deciding right away, what if we choose to exercise an automatic time delay before we labeled anything as good or bad?

What do you think would happen?

I have a suspicion that I would profit from this experiment. Rather than applying a quick label I might see that it takes time to know for sure.

Even then, I might not be correct.

Do you have any interest in giving this a try?

Suppose you wrote down the situation and your immediate response and set it aside, promising to come back to it “later”.

And suppose, just for one time, you watched what happened, like an observer without an opinion. You simply stood off to the side and waited…for a day, a week, a month, a year. And when the time period was up, you reevaluated.

I’ve tried this from time to time and it always astonishes me. Almost every time I learn something profound. Almost every time I recognize how far from the truth my first response was and how much more I have to learn.

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What If Today…

I want to share something that I wrote for a dear friend of mine recently. It was intended to provide a spark to ignite a different way of viewing life. It was something that I needed. As with all of my posts, the thoughts and words arrive for me and then moved outward into the world.

The post is a dream in a way. Of a richer life. And of course, as it is in all cases, it depends on what we choose. I wonder to myself what will I choose, I wonder too, what will you choose?

What if today…

What if today…I choose to believe…to truly accept and embrace…that every single thing that happens to me is here to benefit me. What if I choose to see beyond appearances and all of the things that blind me. What if I give myself permission to believe that I am loved and cared for and know that everything I experience in my life is there to offer me something of value. That no matter what the world tells me, I can choose my own path. What if I embrace that my heart and spirit are the ones that set me free.

What if today I release any need to control the uncontrollable. What if I spruce up my ability to yield and let go of all the things that weigh me down…to set them aside and feel the precious liberation and the expansive freedom that choice creates.

What if today I collect all the most lovable parts of me and hug them and ask them to spread their joy throughout my body…my life.

What if today I allow every sorrow, pain, challenge, and concern to take the day off…to rest…what if I placed them all gently in the ocean of bliss that is my true home, where they can be washed clean.

What if, for one day, I give up needing to be in charge of anything and allow life to flow gently through me.

What if today…I breathe in peace and breathe out love.

What if today…is that day.

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Pumping Iron

When the idea first came to me, I thought it would be a clever way to have two disparate topics joined into one, because there are striking similarities.

I have discovered over time that clever titles don’t usually work, so I opted for what you see above.

When I go to the gym, I have lots of choices; free weights, machines, walking the indoor track, swim, sauna, hot tub, classes and more. Each one of these options offer me a workout designed to target specific body development.

According to physical trainers there are two basic ways to make improvements, for example with free weights, you can increase the number of repetitions or increase the amount of weight.

Each method allows for improvements and generally the choice you make ends up with the same outcome.

From what they told me, there are no short cuts. It’s as simple as that. You must do the work if you want the payoff.

It seems as though most people who are there at the gym understand this concept. They seem very committed, and their bodies tell the tale. Not everyone of course. There are those, like me, who are a ‘work in progress’. We’re there to challenge ourselves and see if we can accomplish the sometimes-unlikely goal of being in better shape.

For me, I need to know, or at least sense that the work I put in is going to pay off. So, I try to do my free weight routine and gradually increase the number of repetitions, in an attempt to increase my body’s ability to perform. My watch word is ‘gradually’.

One of my favorite things to do is to see if one part of my life connects to another, even if at first the idea seems preposterous.

Enter…pumping emotional iron.

Emotions can be quite unruly. They can jump up at any time and sabotage my day. This may happen to you too.

I find that sometimes I’m going along nicely with my life and BAM, I encounter an emotional response to something, and I veer off course. It’s generally not a pleasant experience and I don’t enjoy the shock or surprise when it happens.

But here’s the thing.

If I pay careful attention and consciously stop when my emotional response hits, I can name it. Once named I can sit with it and decide if it is truly how I want to respond. If it isn’t, I can consider my options and make a better choice.

Here’s where the parallel comes in for me.

Consciously making a choice is my first repetition. If and when the situation repeats, that becomes my opportunity to increase the number of repetitions. The more I consistently choose the better decision, the stronger I become.

I’ve tried this method, and it works for me. I’ve even substituted different emotions and situations and find that it still works.

I offer this as one possible way to gain some freedom from having emotions control us and hope it provides you with an idea that could enhance your life.

Remember, there are no short cuts…you have to do the work to get the payoff.