Category: encouragement

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Time to Reconsider

I have many teachers in my life, some exist in proximity to me, others are farther away. Each of them reminds me of things I want to learn to release or to be at peace with. They are predominantly things that irritate, annoy or upset me.

I guess by now I ought to be used to this, but I’m not.

If I am not careful, I get sucked into their orbit and react in kind. This does not serve me.

To be at peace, I know I need to release any attachment to my version of what is ‘right’. I wonder to myself, how is this done?

At first glance, I’m tempted to accept and embrace what my culture has taught me, which is that I deserve to feel the way I do, about anything. If I can find someone who shares my feelings or who otherwise supports my right to feel the way I do, I have no incentive to make any changes, despite the amount of conflict and internal suffering I experience.

Feeling justified is an end unto itself and it halts all other thoughts and holds me in place.

The other thing it does is it creates a host of troublesome feelings inside me and ultimately keeps me from any sense of peace or freedom.

It’s too high a price to pay.

My feelings create a crack in the doorway, a place where some light comes in. And when the light hits my feelings, I sense there is the possibility for change.

Perhaps my view of the world is wrong. Perhaps there’s another way to view my situation that would be better for me. Perhaps I don’t have to stay in the rut created by constant reinforcement.

This feels like good news to me. I try to open my eyes and heart further. What change could I make that would allow my life to be more peaceful, contented, even joyful?

The first thing that occurs to me is that I could remind myself that there are numerous ways to live in this world. This translates as, my way may not be the best or only way and others’ views might make more sense.

It takes some inner strength to say this out loud to myself. For whatever reason, it’s challenging for me to think I have it wrong, but what a wonderful opportunity it is for me to entertain this idea.

This whole concept is one of suspended belief and judgement. A sort of time out or pause, so that I can reconsider what I believe.

It’s a mind opening invitation I can give myself.

If I sit back and think about any given situation from a neutral position, maybe I’ll see a bigger picture, one that may offer me a wider view and provide space to see if what I believe still rings true.

It feels like a wise choice to make and I’m going to give it a try.

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What If Today…

I want to share something that I wrote for a dear friend of mine recently. It was intended to provide a spark to ignite a different way of viewing life. It was something that I needed. As with all of my posts, the thoughts and words arrive for me and then moved outward into the world.

The post is a dream in a way. Of a richer life. And of course, as it is in all cases, it depends on what we choose. I wonder to myself what will I choose, I wonder too, what will you choose?

What if today…

What if today…I choose to believe…to truly accept and embrace…that every single thing that happens to me is here to benefit me. What if I choose to see beyond appearances and all of the things that blind me. What if I give myself permission to believe that I am loved and cared for and know that everything I experience in my life is there to offer me something of value. That no matter what the world tells me, I can choose my own path. What if I embrace that my heart and spirit are the ones that set me free.

What if today I release any need to control the uncontrollable. What if I spruce up my ability to yield and let go of all the things that weigh me down…to set them aside and feel the precious liberation and the expansive freedom that choice creates.

What if today I collect all the most lovable parts of me and hug them and ask them to spread their joy throughout my body…my life.

What if today I allow every sorrow, pain, challenge, and concern to take the day off…to rest…what if I placed them all gently in the ocean of bliss that is my true home, where they can be washed clean.

What if, for one day, I give up needing to be in charge of anything and allow life to flow gently through me.

What if today…I breathe in peace and breathe out love.

What if today…is that day.

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What Can You Hear

Welcome to my first post for 2024. It’s wonderful to have you here with me. I’m constantly surprised and delighted that I am still writing and connecting with you. Back in October 2020 when I began, I had no idea how this would go. I wasn’t even certain that I would be able to manage technologically to maintain my website and process posts for you to see.

So, thank you for being here and for the comments you’ve passed along to me. It really means a lot that you take the time to let me know you’re out there.

During the three plus years I’ve allowed myself to tell you my truth and to share my story, realizing that it was possible that only some of you would remain interested, because it’s not an ordinary story.

But are any of our stories ordinary? Is yours?

I strongly tend to doubt it. We all live such fantastic lives no matter how common they seem at times. When we choose to open ourselves and let our divine essence run free, to explore and experiment, to offer honesty and light to each other, all of our worlds expand.

It took me a lot of years to let go of being small and hiding my light from all but a few. For me, it became necessary to release, to let go of everything that was holding me back.

I wonder, do you ever feel this way? Do you sense an absolute joy deep inside you, but are reluctant to bring it out in the open?

Does that feel too threatening somehow? Too intense? To revealing?

That is actually a large part of why I write these posts. I want to encourage you to step into your own magical, mystical, brilliant light. I know it’s there inside of you waiting. Waiting for you to decide what’s to be gained or lost.

I want to know what you can hear if you listen closely to your heart.

I had to know, no matter what the potential cost would be to me. I had to know for sure. And so, I wrote and wrote and wrote some more, until all of the fluff was gone. Until I was deep enough for the truth to come out, the honesty.

Maybe you need an example, a possible route to follow. When I gave myself permission to reveal my true feelings, this is what happened. I came into contact with god. We spoke to each other. This time it was a male voice. Without having to ask, I knew the voice was also a part of me, not separate, but the same.

I offer this conversation as one way you could begin. There are so many ways, enough so that anyone can find their own depth, their own center and balance.

I wonder what you hear

When you lean in close

Is it the sound of a sweet voice

Can you feel he loves you

Are you filled with hurting

Do you overflow with pain

Do you want to be close

Taken under his wing

Do you dream of belonging

Do you have hope for the future

Has the world often crushed you

Has it broken your heart

Do you need some salvation

Have you trusted the wrong ones

Have you hit lots of dead ends

Is your faith in the dust

Time to know something new

Time to let go this life

Time to open in all ways

To see his beautiful face

Nothing required

And nothing demanded

Just say one word

Just open the door

He is always waiting

He walks beside you

His hand is wide open

To take yours and mine

The dream is for real life

To spend it connected

To love every other

As much as we can

May your pathway become clear, and your truth be revealed. Without needing to know you directly, I can tell you, I love you.

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How You Love Me

If you’ve been reading my posts already, you’ll know that I have a very intimate relationship with the divine. We have conversations all the time. It can be when I have loads of time on my hands and we can have an hour or two long dialogues or it can be a brief inner talk while waiting in line somewhere.

I often wonder what you as a reader think when I say things like this.

Do you have your own conversations with the divine, so it seems normal to you? Or do you want to have a dialogue, but aren’t sure if it would work or what you would say or whether the divine would respond to you?

Do you think I am out of my head?

I probably am because I’m more fully in my heart and connected to spirit. I’ve been having conversations for so many years that I don’t think about whether they are real or possible or normal. They just happen.

One of the benefits of this is that I get to share them with you. If you’d like to engage in your own, please do. For me, all that is ‘required’ is to conceive the conversation is possible, to do your best to believe it and then give yourself some time to open, be quiet, then ask the divine to speak with you.

Often, I am overwhelmed with a sense of awe, wonder and a deep connection of love between us. I’d like to share one such ‘conversation’, which was really a love poem offered to me.

“How you love me”

I felt you speak to me

In answer to the opening of my heart

You let me know that the eventual

And ultimate outcome is already certain…

I come back to you

There is nothing quite as beautiful as this

In all of the world

To know you love me so much

That you want me back

In the meantime

It is so wonderful to know that

You do not require, expect or demand

Anything from me

And that your advice

Is just that…

Advice

It is meant to aid me in being happy

For that is what you want

What our dream and reality is about

You suggest

That I treasure each moment

That I accept and love

This moment

The only moment that actually exists

And if there are things I don’t like

To kiss them and let them go

Your voice is soft in saying

Love the moment

And let it go

You hear the noise inside me

And ask me to recognize

That when I feel weight on me

To see it, breathe it and release it

And know that you are not the source of this weight

You are never the source of it

You remind me again

If you don’t like it

Love it and let it go

You counsel

Be attentive

Be aware

Breathe

Remember always to breathe

Remember too

You get to choose

And choosing creates your reality

If it is not what you want

Or who you want to be

Simply choose differently

Until it is consistent

With whom you want to be

And what you want to experience

It may sound too simple

But I hear clearly you say,

Choose on purpose

Choose what you do

And be a reflection of the best you

You can be

And please know this

It is okay

To do it your own way

There is no need to please others

Just be you

And feel good about being you

I know that you know everything

And I am so happy to finally realize

That

I am enough

I have enough

I do enough

And

There is enough of everything

I am content now

Even though

I see only a small piece of the puzzle

I don’t need to know everything any more

What liberation that is to me

I am not responsible to judge anyone

What freedom this brings to me

I thank you for these dawning’s

They help me float above the surface

Of the world

And draw me closer to you

To love

My heart soars

With gratitude.

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Praise and Miracles

Do you receive praise for the things you do? Does it feel important to you? Do you offer praise to others?

I have a story to share with you. It’s part a book, Little Buddha Book Six, which is the most recent in a series I’ve written. The story comes about because one of the characters, Natalie, wants to see if she can write an engaging story that will appeal to a reader, to offer an important message and at the same time, limit the story’s length to less than three hundred words. Quite a challenge.

She used a picture to inspire her story of a stone roadway with homes on the left and right sides and poles with electrical wires connecting them.

One house has an exterior house light lite which casts a reddish glow on the stones.

Natalie’s story about a young boy goes like this…

I woke up on my mat next to my brothers and sisters and waited. My mother came in shouting, “Get up, get up, there is much work to be done.”

I stood, went to the stairs, climbed into the loft, reached for the broom, and began sweeping. I knew there would be an inspection, so I was careful.

I heard a noise and watched a mouse cross the floor. It tried to jump into a hole in the wall, but because it had eaten well, it could not fit. It leapt again, knocking a chunk of wall onto the floor, then ran in the opposite direction.

I went over to look inside the hole. I saw two disconnected wires and wondered about them. I twisted them together and finished sweeping the floor.

Later that night my father came home, “It’s a miracle,” he said, as he came through the door. “The light is on outside. How did this happen?”

My brothers, sisters and I stood in a line as we did each night, awaiting his approval.

“It was I father. I am your miracle.”

“This cannot be. You are just a boy.”

Hungry for a kind word from him, I said, “I twisted two wires together and the light came on. Are you pleased with me?”

He looked sternly at me and spoke, “Is it not enough that you know what you did, must you receive praise for it? A man knows what is important inside himself and does not need others to tell him. This is what my father taught me and what his father taught him.”

I felt downcast and pondered his words. I decided something in that moment. This would not be what I taught my son. I would teach him that he is a miracle.                  …end story

Even though I wrote the story, the ending completely surprised me, as if it had been supplied by someone else. I could feel the depth of the young boy’s reaction to the lack of praise he received, and the way his father’s words were spoken.

What I love about his reaction is that he promises he will live a different life and teach his son a different lesson. I can almost hear him speaking to his future son, telling him that he is precious to him and to the world, and that he is in fact, a miracle.

Imagine what kind of life that would create for his son, and also for his daughters. Imagine being regarded in such a positive manner, supported, encouraged, believed in.

I want to more than just imagine this in my life. I want to live it. I want to recognize the beauty and miracles that surround me every day.

Imagine what a difference this could make in the world if we treated each other as the miracles we are.

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Effective Affirmations

Is there a difference between types of affirmations? From my point of view there is a significant difference.

But before I explore this with you, I thought it might be helpful to start in the same place, with a workable definition of the word- affirmation.

According to one internet source there are two definitions of note. In the first case it is an action or process of affirming something. In the second case, it is a state of offering emotional support or encouragement.

From the beginning of my usage of dictionaries I’ve found it troublesome and annoying when the word you are looking to understand is used in the definition. It always makes me wonder what the dictionary writers were thinking?

Fortunately, in this case several synonyms were offered for the word affirmation; assertion, declaration, statement, guarantee, to name a few.

In popular culture there are many folks who use affirmations as a way of obtaining something in specific, an outcome they want to occur. It may be to improve their health, increase their money or investments, get a new or better job, find a spouse or friend, afford a new car or house or just about anything.

The focus becomes very directed toward a specific result. The process to achieve the desired outcome is generally to phrase an ‘affirmative statement’ in a way that confirms the wish, want or desire.

Inherent in the process is a conviction that whatever is the subject of the desire will in fact come about, so the language becomes an important part. In many cases that I am familiar with, the person making the affirmative statement does so in a way that states they already possess the desired outcome.

Here’s an example.

“I am wealthy, and money naturally and effortlessly comes to me.”

The expectation is that making this statement alone will produce the results the individual wants. There are of course different ways to phrase affirmations, but the idea remains that a definitive statement made to a perceived power source capable of granting the request, is expected to happen. The power source might be God, the universe, an angel, or something specific to the affirmer.

I do not subscribe to this style of affirmation and here’s why.

I do not believe we can deceive ourselves. We in fact know whether we are or are not wealthy and whether money ever comes naturally or effortlessly to us. We are eminently capable of detecting a lie, from others and from ourselves. If we are not wealthy, merely telling ourselves that we are does not make it true. This kind of affirmation to me is a deception and will rarely result in any type of success.

What do I propose instead?

I believe strongly that we are capable of creating and experiencing any kind of life we choose. We always know if we are leading the life we desire and cannot fool ourselves. What we can do is focus our attention and make statements of what we are willing to do in order to experience something specific.

For example, “I am becoming healthier daily by (insert the actions you are prepared to perform).”

Shifting from wishful thinking to an action-based affirmation contains real power. Identifying specific actions you are willing and prepared to take in support of your affirmation will create tangible results. As long as you take these actions consistently and modify (if necessary) you will experience your affirmation statement.

Using this kind of affirmation statement and taking action is a winning formula for success that you can rely on.

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Going Wrong

You know by now if you’ve been reading my posts for a while that I constantly wonder about things.

Here’s my latest.

Is going ‘wrong’, only going ‘right in disguise’? Is it possible that I am misperceiving a situation and that I’m just not far enough down the road to realize the ‘rightness’ involved?

Maybe I would be served by standing back a bit and asking myself, “is it true or just my perception of the truth”?

Perhaps it would help if I took a brief inventory of the facts. Or recognized that what I might consider to be mistakes are just segways, not ends to themselves.

Another thought jumps in and joins the party.

How do I define wrong? From what point of view? From what chronological reference? Do I base it on my own thoughts or what I perceive to be my cultural training? Or am I starting from an ideal, so that any deviation becomes a problem?

The narrower my definition, the harder it is for me to consider things as being right and the easier for them to be wrong. Either way can be a slippery slope.

As is so often the case, I searched for an example or two, hoping to provide myself with some clarity. Fortunately, two good examples spring to mind that I thought I’d share with you. Perhaps they will spark some insight as you think about your own life.

The very first event in my life that felt ‘wrong’ in every way was when my parents told my sister and me that we were moving from Watertown to Delmar, New York. Immediately I realized my whole world would be tipped upside down. I wouldn’t get to see all of my friends, go to the same school, know how to get anywhere and a host of other upsetting things.

There was no way I was interested in changing my life. How could they just up and move us 185 miles away from where I wanted to be? More maddening still, I did not even have a vote. They decided and it was done.

I don’t know if you ever had to leave a place you wanted to stay, but it’s a hard thing and it felt truly ‘wrong’ to me.

But here’s where some time and distance becomes a key.

Were it not for moving, I would never have met my amazing, wonderful wife. And without her in my life, we would not have our two incredible, joyful children. And without our children, we would not have our delightful, gorgeous grandchildren.

And the list of blessings spirals out in all directions, other family members, friends, church life, our house. I would have none of these beautiful things in my life.

In light of this, how could I ever think my parents’ decision to move my sister and me was wrong?

My other example is also obvious to me, once I step away for a better view.

My job was eliminated. I had not planned on retiring for another couple of years and I wasn’t ready to leave, but I wasn’t given a choice. I was told I was done, no longer employed! It was a crushing blow, especially the way it was done. It felt ‘wrong’ to me.

But it opened doors for me. I had the opportunity to join my wife in babysitting our two local grandchildren. I consider this to be my favorite, most rewarding, best of all possible careers. To spend quality time with them has been a sheer delight and something I will remember forever.

Again, I had to ask myself, how could this event in my life have been ‘wrong’ when I have loved it so much? My answer is simple. The happenings to me were not wrong, they were just the right things wearing a disguise that took time to see through. I only needed to shift my perspective a little and see the clarity that was there all along

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Allowing

What do you allow into your life?

This word may mean several different things to you since ‘allow’ is an open word. Allow, as in, let happen. Or allow, as in, give your permission to. Allow could mean to authorize or admit or even, to accept and believe in.

And depending on which meaning you choose; it alters the way your life proceeds.

When I considered this topic, one of my first thoughts is how the things I allow into my life might not work in my favor. They might not go right or to a place I am comfortable.

Why would I think this?

It could just as easily be the opposite, that things I allow into my life will benefit me and even bring me happiness.

My simple answer is that I have a default setting that points toward imagining that things I allow into my life will create challenges for me or work against me, instead of for me.

Where did this concept come from?

The first thing that occurs to me is that I learned it from someone. That it was a part of my cultural training. And although this may be entirely true, it doesn’t help me. In fact, it can become another part of the problem because it may trap me into thinking there is someone else to blame or that I am a victim. Neither of these things work for my greater good.

I certainly recognize how unfortunate a default this is for me, and I have tried to reprogram myself. I’ve tried to let go of what my cultural training has taught me and shifted toward a smarter, more beneficial approach.

When I encounter something new, I envision the positive outcomes it could bring into my life and then consciously allow them into my world.

I train my inner being to recognize the lies I tell myself, that allowing things into my life is dangerous. It’s only dangerous if that is what I believe.

It takes constant reminding to live with the truth that all things can work to my benefit, even and sometimes especially, the ones that at first appear challenging or difficult.

As with so many other things in my life, I feel I need an example to help me shift my consciousness. I want to see how the whole idea of ‘allowing’ will open my world and bring me joy.

So, I sit back and allow myself to breathe into a state of relaxation and see what comes to fill the open space.

An awesome thought pops in.

Allowing opens a door. As I keep breathing, the door swings wider. I begin to feel the presence of possibilities. I have no conscious opinion about whether they are positive or negative and am at peace believing they are just open possibilities, available to me to experience, if I choose to allow them in.

I sense the presence of faith and trust, which feel like very necessary ingredients in the process, because without them, it feels as if nothing will happen.

A part of me wonders, faith and trust in who, in what?

But I know the answer to that. Faith and trust in me and in my inner divine nature.

The more I breathe, the deeper the resonance with knowing that what I choose to allow, will serve me. There is a knowingness and I sense that this same essence exists in everyone. We are all divine, and we all have a choice what to allow in.

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Release

What are you holding on to that weighs you down or causes you pain and suffering?

What would your life be like if you let them go?

I have a pretty long list as it turns out. It sparks me to wonder why I hold so tightly to ideas and opinions that clearly no longer serve me, if they ever did.

How about you, can you say the same thing? Can you feel how wonderful it would be to loosen your grip and release things that clutter your life?

Perhaps right now you might want to take a moment and join me by creating a list of thoughts and observations. And once created, explore the idea of letting them go.

Here are some of mine to help you get started. If something ignites your own awareness, please feel free to follow it and see where it leads you. Remember there are never any ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ answers.

I believe I would be well served by releasing the following:

** my need to be, feel or think that I am ‘right’ (about anything).

** my idea that I need to be ready to say the next thing when I am in a dialogue with someone (rather than just being present with them).

** the idea I have about all of my past ‘mistakes’ (especially since I cannot possibly know what was or wasn’t a mistake).

** the inner need I feel about ‘my’ team having to win in order for me to be happy.

** anything that I am holding inside my body which causes pain, suffering or discomfort (because I cannot feel safe, whole, or complete without letting go).

** any need I have to make comparisons (which hurt all parties).

** any value judgements I make (because they lock in the notion that I am ‘right’ and that others are ‘wrong’ and I don’t/can’t see far enough or wide enough to know the truth).

** the inner desire I feel for more food than my body needs (which can feel like a competition and one that profoundly impacts me).

** any restriction I place on experiencing JOY (there are times I feel I have to ‘earn’ joy, rather than knowing it is a part of my spiritual essence, always yearning to be freely felt).

I’m sure I could go on, but I bet you get the idea.

Now for the hard part…how do I make this happen? How do I effectively release all these things I seem to realize are not helpful for me?

It strikes me I’m not starting in the most beneficial place, because I used the phrase, “now for the hard part”. Maybe you were quick and picked right up on this. To begin any process with the thought that it will be difficult or challenging or ‘hard’, prejudices you and sets the stage for self-fulfilling prophecies to come true.

So, now for the easy part. I know it might sound simple, but I believe it is also quite true. YOU CHOOSE. If it’s obvious to you that your thoughts are complicating your life in any way, you simple choose new thoughts. You replace the ones that restrict you or run contrary to what serves you (makes you happy, fulfilled or joyful).

As soon as you recognize the appearance of conflicts or judgements entering your life, you make a conscious choice to release them, knowing it is you who profits from this. You place your sense of self-worth above what you imagine others expect or demand of you.

And, you keep doing this, decision after decision after decision. The constancy of choosing to release that which does not serve you, will create new patterns in your life, ones that do serve you.

Choosing is always up to you. I hope you choose well.

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Problem Solving

Are you a good problem solver? Does it depend on the problem or set of problems that you face?

Maybe you’re good at puzzles or crosswords but feel challenged by issues you face in life. Or maybe you’re fairly skilled at dealing with difficult people but not financial or medical situations.

One of the obstacles I’ve encountered while trying to solve problems is that I hit a ‘wall’. I seem to be making great progress and then something comes up and stops me in my tracks. I try to figure out what went wrong and am forced to restart the process over again.

The funny thing is I get to the same point and hit the same ‘wall’. I’ve explored some options and thought through some potential challenges but haven’t been able to reach any solid conclusions.

And the whole process can become even more difficult if I’m interrupted, which increases my inability to make any progress.

Time for a break.

I sit back and wonder about this whole thing. Don’t I want to arrive at a conclusion? I think I do, but perhaps there’s some reason or reasons I don’t.  Maybe I’m afraid of the unknown. Maybe I’m afraid of failure. Maybe I’m even afraid of success. Or could it be I don’t think there is an answer and that’s why I keep hitting the same wall?

I’d like to float an idea for your consideration.

Often it feels as though we get bogged down with problems because we feel we have to create their solutions from scratch.

What if this is not true. What if, what IS true, is that every solution to every problem ALREADY exists? If we accepted this, then problem solving would merely be a matter of claiming the solution, not creating it.

But you say, how can I claim a solution I cannot see?

A very good question indeed.

So, here’s a three-step process I’d like to propose.

Step One is to open your mind and conceive that the solution to your problem already exists, despite it not being immediately obvious.

Step Two is to believe you have the power to find the answer, either by yourself or with the help of others.

Step Three is to take action, to move beyond the wall by releasing any attachment you have to the idea that an answer does not exist. Let that go and instead, embrace the idea that an answer not only DOES exist but that you are capable of finding it and claiming it.

Here’s a quick case in point. Imagine you’re on an explorer ship leaving Europe and sailing eastward across the ocean, headed to the ‘New World’, which no one knows about yet. You’ve made preparations (conceived of the New World’s existence, stretched into beliefs that it must be there) and are now taking action, sailing with the wind. Day after day you continue and after several months, land ho, you arrive!

I think to myself, what if those sailors believed as others did, that they would sail off the edge of the world? Talk about a problem solving ‘wall’ (or rather no wall, since they’ve already fallen off the edge).

Somehow, they found a way to trust they would be successful. After they conceived and believed, they took action.

In the same manner, I’m suggesting each of us can discover (and claim) answers for any and all problem(s) we encounter. I’m not suggesting that every answer will come immediately, certainly not. But what I am suggesting is that our attitudes and beliefs play a vital role in all of our life’s successes.