Feeling Loved

I wonder, did anyone ever tell you that you would be loved, no matter what?

I suspect someone may have said this out loud to you, but did it turn out to be the truth?

When you did something ‘wrong’ and were punished for it, did you feel loved or was this the beginning of your concerns about the world?

It’s only in retrospect that I’ve been able to see the truth in this for me. And it led to several other conclusions. I understood in a new way, that the world is not safe. And I came to believe that I could not fully trust others. I wanted to, but I couldn’t.

We are all creatures who observe. Not only do we hear what others say, we see what they do. We watch as they role model for us and then, we decide how to act. But I wonder, is it really a decision or is it a reaction?

If we want to feel safe and loved, aren’t we likely to act as others want or expect us to behave? That certainly feels true to me.

What also feels true to me is that I use this same reactive thinking and apply it outwardly to the rest of the world in all my relationships, the work world and everywhere I go.

My beliefs are formed around the principle of whether I feel loved. Beneath the surface I worry about whether I am meeting others’ expectations of me. Am I doing enough for them to love me?

This is what has been modeled for me.

There is no blame here. I don’t resent those who placed this expectation on me, and I don’t blame myself for accepting their expectations. Neither of us know any better. We’re just passing along what we’ve been taught, from one generation to the next.

I pause for a moment to consider.

How is this to change? What enlightenment will come into my life to show me a better way?

I know an answer, one that works for me, and I want to share it with you, in the hopes that it might work for you too.

I’ve talked a lot about it, if you’ve been reading my posts.

It is my relationship with (god). I bracket the word (god) because I want to distance us from standard definitions. To me, (god) has many forms and feels. For me, there is abba (father), na’a (mother), yeshiwa (brother), lia (sister) and essence (the foundation of all heavenly bliss),

When I invite them in, they come. They do not force their way in, ever. They wait for my invitation, then come and share their wisdom, insight, and love with me.

They are reflections of (god), each a part of the divine for me.

Yours might be different. I honor that. We all see and feel the truth in different ways. What seems important to me is that (god) is available to each of us, waiting for our decision to reach out with an invitation.

As soon as I open and ask and prepare myself to be quiet and listen, (god) appears. We now have two-way dialogues whenever I ask. Wonderful, honest, personal conversations.

It is here I know I am loved. It is here there are no expectations, conditions, or requirements. No matter what I have done or left undone, I feel loved.

Please know this relationship is yours as well, whenever you decide to choose it.

NOTE: If you’d like to know more about my relationship with (god) and how you can have your own, please feel free to read my book, talking with (god), available on Amazon in print and eBook versions.

Love As A Prayer

I admit that I have felt quite challenged about the whole nature of prayer. Perhaps you do as well.

When someone asks you to pray for them, what does that mean to you? Do you think they mean for you to request a specific outcome to occur in their life? Are you comfortable with this?

I confess, this has plagued me for a long time.

Of course, I want them to experience their best possible life. I want them to be free from painful obstacles and difficult and challenging decisions.

But how can I possibly know what the right choice is for them?

Even on my best day I do not possess enough insight for this.

It seems to me that part of our cultural training includes the idea that we can pray for someone and that our prayers will create the specific desired outcomes. And what I hear most is that when we pray to God (or the universe) the expectation is that God will listen to us and bring about the resolution of whatever problem(s) we’ve brought to God’s attention.

This approach seems to imply that there is only one ‘right’ outcome, the one the requester of the prayer wants to happen.

What if there is more to it than this? What if there is an even better answer?

There are problems with this whole approach, because should the prayer not be answered in the way requested, the requester is left wondering several things. Is my prayer not worthy of God’s attention or approval? Or perhaps, God is not listening to me. Or that God wants me to experience this difficulty, despite my prayer and the prayers of others.

It is easy to end up feeling like a victim if the specific prayer request is not answered.

Add to this the cultural phenomenon where there are two teams competing to win a game and folks praying for each side to be the victor. If you were God, how would you grant both prayers?

So, where does this leave us and what is God’s role in granting answers to prayers?

What if we looked at this from a very different point of view?

If you’ve been reading my posts for a while, you’ll know my beliefs can border on the radical, so be prepared.

Imagine that God does not take sides, nor does God have a stake in specific outcomes. Since God has given everyone free will, God does not listen to one prayer and ignore another, nor dictate particular actions and outcomes.

So, what does God do and who is God?

What has been shared with me, which is of course up to you to decide for yourself, is that God is unconditional love. And unconditional love is the purest form of energy. It gives and supports all of life. It is non-directional and non-judgmental. It is open hearted, free, and available to everyone at all times.

God, as unconditional love, lives inside each person and is always available. Its pure energy can be offered and shared with anyone at any time.

And once given to another, it combines with their energy and creates sparks to help them light their path, so that they can see more clearly.

This non-directive, non-judgmental, open hearted, unconditional love supports and encourages the receiver, giving them strength and insight to move through whatever situation they are facing. It allows their spiritual plan to unfold, no matter what challenges appear on the surface.

When I am asked now to pray for another, I pause to remember this and dive deep into my heart and offer unconditional love as my prayer.

God’s Will

Are you familiar with the concept of God having a ‘will’ for you?
A specific plan for things God wants you to accomplish? A way to move through your life according to a long list of do’s and don’t’s?

The folks that seem to talk about this give the impression that you should know what God’s will is and comply with it, because after all, it’s God we’re talking about.

The incredibly tricky part is that although you are supposed to abide by God’s will, there are almost never any clear indications of precisely what God’s will is for you. This leaves you in a powerless position and opens the door for others to be the authority and speak on God’s behalf.

How can one person know what God’s will is for another? What source of wisdom allows them the clarity to inform and dictate what another person is to do with their life? Is their claim that God speaks directly to them and provides specific insights about all the people of this world and what each one should be doing?

You may have guessed by my questions and word choices that I don’t see life this way.

I’ve had many conversations with god and am a true believer in one of god’s greatest gifts, ‘free will’.

Free will is an open invitation from god to experience everything possible in this life. No are no exceptions, expectations, demands, requirements or strings attached. Free will is pure.

I believe logic would like to have a say in this discussion. If one of the tenets in life is that we each have ‘free will’, how can it be that there is another force called God’s will? The two would be mutually exclusive by nature, since surely there will always be conflicts, and any override of free will, voids it completely.

What proponents of God’s will have to offer is that God’s will is supreme, therefore, any instance where we use our free will in opposition to God’s will, must be abandoned or relinquished.

Of course, our free will allows us to make choices that create pain and suffering for ourselves and for others. It also provides us with the power to make choices that create healing and loving actions.

How we use our free will is entirely up to each of us.

I fully recognize there are dilemmas involved here.

How is anyone to know the truth?

How is anyone to know what God’s will is for them?

How does free will work if it conflicts with what one is told is God’s will? How does God’s will work if it is in conflict with our free will?

The answers depend greatly on what one has been told during their life and their willingness to explore new territory. If there is a strong belief that God’s will is sacrosanct and that someone else has been given the wisdom to explain what it is, there may be little room for an alternative view.

However, if one has been told these things but has never felt comfortable with them, there may be an open door to enter to consider the importance of free will.

Ultimately, I believe that having your own conversation with god, whatever your concept is for god, is the pathway to your own certainness.

I am a firm believer that sitting in stillness, breathing in and out, until a calm center is reached, and opening our mind and heart creates an opportunity for divine connection.

This is the place where all is known.