An Important Look Back

It was three years ago yesterday that I began writing these posts and I’m surprised and delighted that I’ve been doing them twice a week since then.

When I sat and thought about this, I realized that a lot has happened in the world over the last three years, especially due to COVID. And whereas that was and is hugely impactful, it’s not the only thing that matters.

If I asked you, what would you tell me about what has happened in your life? What would make it onto your personal highlight reel?

Have you found or lost someone significant in your life? Been released from a job or signed onto a new one? Have you traveled? Read a good book that still captivates you? Learned something new? Added to your family? Grown taller or shorter? I’ve lost a half inch in height, maybe you have too.

There is so much going on in our daily lives, it’s easy to lose sight of the bigger picture. We get wrapped up in all of the little stuff and sometimes miss what we ourselves say is most important to us.

When I stop for a moment and broaden my view, I find it enlightening. Opening up to a longer time span helps me to put things into better perspective. So, when I recognized that I’ve been offering my commentary through these posts for three years, I wanted to settle back and take a look at some highlights, and perhaps learn something important about myself.

I decided to write down some events and see if any patterns emerged.

Maybe you’ve done this same thing or perhaps you’d like to do it now and join me in a little life review.

Before I share some of my observations with you, I’d like to suggest a framework for us to use. It consists of four parts: 1) physical wellness, 2) human relationships, 3) creative expression and 4) spiritual connections. Of course, please feel free to use whatever framework you find most comfortable and let it guide your way.

During the last three years I’ve experienced a significant increase in my attention to my physical health and wellbeing, especially over the last year. Visiting my mom at the Nursing Home twice a week clearly had an impact on me and shifted my attention. I’ve made radical changes to my approach to health and have adopted many new (and better) practices to support my wellbeing.

While reviewing for highlights I recognized how fundamentally important human relationships are to me. Being with family and friends, sharing adventures, eating, laughing, traveling, doing arts and crafts, and just plain old spending time doing nothing together. The act of connecting is both sacred and special to me and a center piece of my existence. Despite some sadness in losing folks, there is great happiness and joy in connecting with those who are here, knowing there is deep love between us.

The last three years has been filled with meaningful creative expressions for me. During that time, I wrote three books, co-created an oracle deck, directed, and participated in a play performed at our church, and opened wide to my artistic self, creating what I consider to be beautiful acrylic art pours.

When I had finished focusing on these three aspects, I shifted my attention to the spiritual part of my life. When I am deeply connected spiritually, everything else in my life glows radiantly. Knowing I am part of the divine essence of creation (as are you) allows me to give and receive with joy and love in my heart. This is my lifeblood and I daily nourish my spiritual relationships and connections. This is what gives my life its meaning and value and I am a much better human being because of it.

So, what did you learn during your review? Are there ripe places to be explored? Gaps to be filled in? Wonderful, meaningful ideas to be pursued?

I hope that you found this to be as enlightening an exercise as I did and gained some valuable insight and inspiration.

Happiness and Joy

How do you measure your happiness?

Chances are if you are dieting, it is measured by whether you gain or lose weight. The changes may only be temporary, but they seem very important at the time. Of course, it’s possible to look deeper and evaluate according to the lifestyle changes you’ve made, even if they don’t directly impact your weight, but represent a healthier life plan for you.

Do you have other happiness measures?

Perhaps the size of your bank account, the funds in your investment portfolio, the car you drive, the number of friends you have, your athletic prowess or some other skill you possess?

Maybe your happiness is tied to something else entirely.

When I ponder this, I often land in the same place, asking myself whether my happiness is merely temporary? Is it easily stolen by someone else, based on their comments or opinions? Is my happiness too fragile or dependent on what happens to me?

These questions prompt me to reconsider the basis or source of my happiness. I confess I’ve struggled with this a lot.

I remember a time in college when my whole life seemed to be falling apart. My studies had stagnated, I had the absolute worst dorm room on campus, right next to the stairwell and common area lounge, facing the side of a hill so that little light penetrated and constantly being barraged by noise all day and all night.

Then my grandfather died. I was very close to him, and it hurt to think he was gone, and I didn’t even get to say goodbye. Not only that, but I also wasn’t invited home for the funeral. I guess my parents thought I’d miss too much school. Not one of their best decisions.

It’s likely you’ve had your own experiences of suffering, where happiness seemed a distant memory, if any memory at all.

Of course, life is balanced. There are up periods of happiness, and they are wonderful while they last, but some part of us knows they are temporary. There is an ebb and flow to happiness, and I believe everyone moves through its curve.

I wonder, what do we do when the unhappiness comes for us?

It took a long time for me to realize the problem I have with happiness is the source it arises from…my thoughts. I seem completely reliant on what I am thinking, placing my treasure there. Inside me, I know there must be a better way.

So, I do what I always do when my mind cannot solve a problem in my life, I drop into my heart to see what I am feeling, because my feelings shed light, guiding me forward.

I realize I have to wait, giving my mind a chance to release its hold and allowing my feelings to become clear. While I wait, I breathe in and out slowly, letting my heart open.

An awareness dawns on me. Happiness is fleeting because it is of the mind. It is my head telling me how I should feel. No wonder it comes and goes, because my mind wanders everywhere.

The awareness draws out a truth I have hidden inside. A truth that tells me happiness will always fluctuate.

It shares with me that what I want is…joy. Joy comes from the heart. It raises me up and cannot be stolen or destroyed.

I want to know more. I want to know the source of joy.

I am told, joy is the source. Joy and love are joined, forever in union, always available to me.

How, I ask?

I am told, remember that you are part of this joy, this love. Look outward into the world and see its reflection everywhere. Remember there is joy and love, even in those things you consider to be unhappy. Look past the surface. Look deeper and you will see the truth.

I want to believe this. I want to believe that I am a part of the joy and love that is my source. I want to remember.

For this moment, I understand I am being asked to trust this truth. It is up to me. And it is up to you too. What shall we do?