Your True Self Has No Limits

I have a confession to make. I used to believe in limits.

Others told me they knew what they were so why wouldn’t I believe them? Those who told me said that they loved me and wanted the best for me. It never occurred to me that they wouldn’t tell me the truth.

I’ve come to understand, we all do our best based on what we’ve accepted as the truth. Rarely does someone who cares about me intentionally steer me wrong. Their actions are based on what they believe to be true, whether it is or not.

Knowing this, it’s important for me to explore and discover for myself.

One day I was told it is very difficult for one person to make a real difference in this world. I suppose they were trying to keep me from reaching too far and getting hurt.

They told me we’re just too small and that we have to be reasonable about our expectations. They allowed that we could have an impact on the small stage that surrounds us, but not on the world at large.

Perhaps you’ve been told this too.

At some point I released this kind of thinking. I came to believe it is up to each of us to decide the value and reliability of this idea.

Regardless of the number of times I heard this repeated, something did not seem quite right to me about it. Why couldn’t I connect meaningfully beyond my small group?

Did others think I would feel pain if I failed? Did they think that perhaps I did not have anything worthwhile to say or that others would not want to hear it?

Maybe they did not want me to break away from them for fear they might need to change too.

I cannot know what reasons others have, but I feel I owe it to myself to see beyond my small world.

I want to tell you a few things, not to make myself look bigger, but so you can see yourself as bigger.

I am like you. I have certain talents and dreams, fears and illusions, hopes and aims. I don’t feel there is anything unique about me that favors my succeeding where you might not. I believe you are way bigger than anyone has ever told you.

You may be wondering- how can I say that?

I say it because I believe it to be so. We all have radiance and brilliance built in. We’ve had it since we arrived here at birth. It came with us and is just waiting to come forth.

One day I decided to step out of my small shell and engage my heart fully. I decided I would create a website and write posts (like this one) as a means of inviting others along on my journey. Thanks to Cheri, one of my dear friends, this site became a reality. Since beginning, almost 500 people decided there was enough value in my words to join me. And thousands have viewed my site and connected with me, representing 98 different countries in the world. Folks from thousands of miles away wanted this connection. Of course, I have no idea how my thoughts and words have influenced them, but that is not up to me. My part is to live my true self and offer it to the world.

One day, Cheri and I decided to push out further into the world. I spent a few dollars and boosted a series of posts for a month on Facebook and Instagram. We were told that a reasonable expectation for a viewing audience would be approximately five to ten thousand people. After 28 days, 1.6 million people had viewed them. Mind-boggling!

Had I listened to what others had told me or to my small self, believing I could not have an impact on the world, none of this would have happened.

Please understand, the incredible value I find in these two examples is that they represent the extraordinary reach each one of us has. I hope to reinforce you own belief that YOU are capable of making a difference in this world. It doesn’t matter if it’s one person or a hundred thousand people.

If you decide to break out and share your radiant true self with the world, please let me know. And remember, I believe in you.

Take Aways

Are you someone who likes a challenge? Are you someone who invests themselves deeply in life and reaches for meaning in every experience? If you are, I have something for you to try.

It’s the modern-day version of an ancient Shinto practice called, Misogi. The idea is to choose a physical challenge that has less than a 50% chance of success and does not hurt you or anyone else (obviously trying to distance this experience from the extreme sports world).

Last year, my son, Tommy, and I decided to walk a nearby rail trail from one end to the other and back again. The distance turned out to be 19.5 miles, which is farther than I’d ever walked before in one stretch, and that was many years ago. It took us eight hours and included a long downhill grade of about 2 miles and consequently the same uphill grade. For a reference, I should mention that I was 70 years old at the time and had several physical limitations.

This year we decided to swim the circumference of Mirror Lake, a small body of water that lies just behind the Main Street in downtown Lake Placid. We estimated the distance as between 2.2-2.7 miles.

The farthest I’d ever swam was perhaps 1.0 mile and I took a big break in the middle.

My plan was to train over a period of 8-10 weeks, increasing my distance to at least 1 mile comfortably. That plan was scrapped due to a significant knee issue requiring a cortisone shot and a challenging right shoulder problem. For many weeks I wondered if I would even be able to participate.

But that’s a part of the process, recognizing that things are not going to be ideal. Life simply does not line up to make all things easy for us. In fact, I’ve come to believe, that at least in part, the challenges we overcome offer far greater meaning to us than a simple easy pathway would.

Beyond getting ready physically there is a major mental component to the preparation. I spent several weeks questioning myself. I wanted to know why this was so important to me. Why did I need to challenge myself and what did I have to prove?

Interestingly, this prompted some major inner dialogues.

If you haven’t been reading my posts this may come as a shock to you, but I have conversations with (god) all the time. The voice of (god) often changes but the essence remains the same. In this particular case, it was a feminine voice, and she suggested I call her, Misogi.

After expressing some of my issues surrounding this whole challenge, I became quiet enough to listen to her.

She explained to me that the challenge of a Misogi has absolutely nothing to do with the beginning or destination, and everything to do with the journey. She counseled me to pay attention during the swim to what was happening inside of me. There would be observations and revelations waiting for me, she promised.

She was right.

I wrote some of them down to share with you. I did this so that you could see there is depth here. And there will be depth for you, as you contemplate your own versions of a Misogi. I believe we learn from each other, then go off and create and experience our own beautiful lives. We are steppingstones for each other.

One- doing this with my son swimming by my side was fantastic. Sharing a vision and a practice with someone important to you always makes any experience grander and more valuable.

Two- being in the water for five hours felt immersive, like we were a part of nature, an intimate participant and observer and it allowed us to swim within twenty feet of a beautiful loon gliding across the surface of the lake.

Three- the scenic splendor of the high peaks was awesome, especially the clear unobstructed views we had from the water.

Four- finding out what we were capable of, surmounting obstacles, and maintaining focus and purpose despite painful leg cramps (even my leg cramps had leg cramps there were so many).

Five- although I’d reduced my emphasis on completing the full distance, I recognized that I still wanted to succeed and pushed myself over my limits to see what doing so would feel like. It was so worth the effort. We completed the full 2.2 miles in five hours. No one’s record pace, but we had done what we set out to do, and there was, in fact, some real sweetness to that.

I personally don’t think it matters what you choose as your Misogi. What does matter is that you choose something that feels important to you. An if you do decide to choose a Misogi of your own, I hope you find values and benefits awaiting you during your journey.

Inspiration

If I gave you a minute and asked you to tell me the name of the first person who comes to mind when you hear the word, “inspiration”, who would it be?

Did the name come quickly to you, or did you have to stretch a bit?

Did fantastic memories of the person flood your mind and make your heart feel more alive? Or did it take several moments for the connections to happen?

Maybe there are a lot of folks in your life who jump into your mind, so it took a few minutes to see which one ended up topping your list.

And now here’s a twist of a question…are YOU on your own list?

I asked myself this question and was somewhat shocked to find that it was my name that appeared at the top of my list. I realize I risk something by saying this to you. You could think that I am self-absorbed or conceited or something else with negative connotations. But…

I’m saying it anyway.

The main reason is because I have (mostly) released the idea of being small in this world. I know that’s what the world tends to do to us. It wants us to submerge ourselves and not stand out. It’s one way of keeping us safe. But at what cost?

It forces us to look outside ourselves for everything, as if we are not enough or don’t count for anything.

I will not accept this.

I don’t need others to think I am important or to focus on me. I don’t need (or want) others to single me out or place me on any kind of pedestal.

But I do want to acknowledge my own inner worth and value. For me. Not for anyone else, as if this earth world is some type of contest I need to win.

I choose to speak what feels like the truth to me. I choose to shine as brightly as I can, to light up my portion of the world with brilliance. I choose to be on fire and to do all of the things that make me feel alive.

I choose to be inspired by my own actions and to give the best of myself to the world.

What If Today…

I want to share something that I wrote for a dear friend of mine recently. It was intended to provide a spark to ignite a different way of viewing life. It was something that I needed. As with all of my posts, the thoughts and words arrive for me and then moved outward into the world.

The post is a dream in a way. Of a richer life. And of course, as it is in all cases, it depends on what we choose. I wonder to myself what will I choose, I wonder too, what will you choose?

What if today…

What if today…I choose to believe…to truly accept and embrace…that every single thing that happens to me is here to benefit me. What if I choose to see beyond appearances and all of the things that blind me. What if I give myself permission to believe that I am loved and cared for and know that everything I experience in my life is there to offer me something of value. That no matter what the world tells me, I can choose my own path. What if I embrace that my heart and spirit are the ones that set me free.

What if today I release any need to control the uncontrollable. What if I spruce up my ability to yield and let go of all the things that weigh me down…to set them aside and feel the precious liberation and the expansive freedom that choice creates.

What if today I collect all the most lovable parts of me and hug them and ask them to spread their joy throughout my body…my life.

What if today I allow every sorrow, pain, challenge, and concern to take the day off…to rest…what if I placed them all gently in the ocean of bliss that is my true home, where they can be washed clean.

What if, for one day, I give up needing to be in charge of anything and allow life to flow gently through me.

What if today…I breathe in peace and breathe out love.

What if today…is that day.

Was Buddha Worried About His Weight

While away on a break from writing original posts I thought I’d share some of my favorites with you from the past three and a half years. In mid-March I’ll return with more original posts. Until then, please enjoy these.

One day I was wondering about all of the diets there are around, so I decided to investigate a little. A quick search of the internet produced thirty-nine diets, identifying their strong and weak points.

It was mind boggling.

How could anyone ever hope to understand all of the differences between them and conclude which would be the best to try, if in fact, you wanted to try one at all?

The specifics of each diet change depending on the emphasis of the plan. Many diets support the idea of increasing fruit, vegetables, fish and plant-based foods. Others capitalize on certain foods groups to counter physical conditions like, high blood pressure, diabetes, cardio concerns or to improve mental functioning. In all the cases I read about, nutrition and safety play a major role, but there seems to be a significant difference of opinion, depending on the expert who is providing the information.

Some diets are notoriously difficult to follow, while others make it too challenging to understand the differences between good and bad food items or some other key components.

In many cases there are supporting statements made to attempt to convince a potential dieter of the values or reasons for the individual plans. For instance, some report that the Paleo Diet says, “that if cavemen didn’t eat it, you probably shouldn’t either.”

It wasn’t until my mid 60’s that I felt the need for a diet. A gradual increase in my weight each year suggested I would be in trouble if I didn’t make some immediate changes.

So, off I went to Weight Watchers.

Their program stresses adherence to certain point goals (each food is assigned a point value) and highly recommends attendance at weekly meetings, to monitor weight and participate in conversations with other members, guided by an instructor.

I did, in fact, reach my goal and have been mostly successful in maintaining it, within a reasonable range.

What all of the instructors say is, that to be truly successful, you have to change your mind-set about your relationship with food. Merely altering what you eat for a short time, even though it might produce some results, will fail in the long run.

I believe they are correct.

I believe there is a lot more involved that allows a person to achieve their weight goals. Or, for that matter, any goals they might have.

This is where Buddha comes in.

Have you ever seen a picture of a slender, trim Buddha? I doubt it. Do you think Buddha spent any time concerned about his weight? I also doubt this.

Bear in mind here (BIG DISCLAIMER), I am not suggesting or recommending that you ignore the sound advice from your health professionals regarding any diet ideas they have, especially, if you have an obvious health concern.

What I do want to share is a thought about our ‘beliefs’, especially in relation to what we experience in life.

Considering all dieters, could the difference between those who are successful and those who are not, be their belief about the outcome they would experience, rather than the particular diet they were on?

If you substituted a different concept for dieting (academic, career, relationship, finances…), would it work the same way, meaning your outcome would be directly related to your belief about your outcome, rather than one of the individual steps you took?

It certainly feels to me like an important idea to consider, mostly because it alters the dynamic, shifting it from a conceptual form to one of belief, particularly if the belief is deep seated.

This idea is creating a shift in my mind-set about my food intake and maintaining my weight. What if I had a strong belief that it is not so much about what I eat, as it is about what I believe about what I eat?

That’s something I think Buddha would have something to say about.

Sitting For Ideas

While on a break from writing original posts I thought I’d share some of my favorites with you from the past three and a half years. In mid-March I’ll return with more original posts. Until then, please enjoy these.

Can you imagine finding a quiet comfortable place to sit, then closing your eyes and peacefully waiting for marvelous ideas to arrive inside your mind? Ideas that would improve your life, offer you specific direction and help you to navigate the world.

There is such a place and it’s inside of every one of us.

One of my favorite mentors is Napoleon Hill. I’ve written about him before and probably mentioned that, when he was a cub reporter, he was given the opportunity to interview Andrew Carnegie, who was one of the wealthiest men in the world.

Carnegie took a liking to Napoleon and extended to him introductions to many of the most successful people in business, finance, and the scientific world. Napoleon would spend his next ten years assembling their best ideas and placing them in his book, Think Big and Grow Rich, which is still one of the top ten best-selling self-help books ever published.

Elmer Gates was one of Napoleon’s interviews. Elmer was a prolific inventor and at the turn of the 20th Century owned the largest private laboratory in the world. Napoleon was curious to know where all his ideas came from. When he arrived at Elmer’s office, the secretary asked him to take a seat and told him it might be a while, because Mr. Gates was ‘sitting for ideas’.

Eventually Elmer came out to meet Napoleon and invited him into his office and explained about his delay. He told Napoleon that when confronted with a problem or seeking a solution for a workable invention, he would ‘sit for ideas’. By this he meant that he would enter a darkened room which had only a desk, a chair, a pencil, a pad, and a flashlight. Without distractions, he would sit and wait for ideas, and when something came to him, he would write it down, then go back to sitting until the next idea came. Elmer told Napoleon that this was how he was able to discover answers and solutions that had evaded his busy waking mind.

Given Elmer Gates enormous success it makes me wonder what I can gain from this strategy.

I’m not immediately drawn to the darkened room approach, and you may not be either, but I feel there is something of significant value here.

Perhaps it is that, releasing distractions, creating a peaceful open environment, and embracing an attitude of expectation are key components to success.

I have little doubt that each of us would be well served by distancing ourselves, for even short periods of time, from life’s distractions. Shifting our environment, whether that is a darkened room, a long hot shower, a walk in nature or a meditation period, would give us time and space that could be greatly beneficial.

For me, there are many mornings when I wake up filled with thoughts and ideas. So many, that I have to begin writing them down the moment they come to me. That’s why there are pads all over my house, so that none of my ideas escape. I refer to this process as my overnight download.

I don’t know where the ideas come from. I could speculate, but what feels important to me is their arrival, not their source.

Elmer Gates is not the only person to take advantage of seeing beyond the observable world. Michelangelo said that every block of stone has a masterpiece inside of it and that the job of the sculptor is to let it out.

I believe that in order to find the masterpiece living inside of each of us we need to open ourselves to a truth. A truth that we are a part of the divine, whole and holy. A truth that every answer exists within us, and it is our task to set it free. Believing this and expecting to discover our answers is the gateway to all ideas becoming real.

Blame

I have to admit it…being blaming for something is one of my least favorite things. I don’t like it when I AM the reason for something going wrong and get blamed, but I especially don’t like it when I am NOT the reason.

It seems so unfair, and it hurts. Partly I suppose because it damages my self-image.

And then there are the times I blame others.

One such instance happened recently. My wife and I were away and when we returned our driveway was full of snow. Okay, no problem, we’d just park in the road, I’d get the snowblower going and make quick work of clearing our driveway so we could park safely and unload our stuff.

The problem occurred in my very first pass down the driveway because underneath all of the snow was our newspaper which had been canceled while we were away. It wasn’t supposed to have been there. Naturally snowblowers and heavy newspapers do not get along. Before I could do anything, the newspaper was sucked into the snowblower and jammed beyond my ability to dislodge. Result = one useless snowblower and time to get some physical exercise shoveling.

My first reaction was yelling out loud. Not words exactly, but a lot of loud noise. This has happened before!

This reaction came with a great deal of blame. My wife had called the newspaper to cancel so they either didn’t cancel, or the newspaper carrier delivered one anyway. As far as I was concerned, the newspaper and carrier were both at fault.

And they were both the cause of several unfortunate results; having to shovel heavy wet snow, need to contact snowblower repair folks, cost of the repairs and length of time without it so that if it snows before I get it back, more shoveling for me. All because someone didn’t do their job.

I wanted to hold someone accountable. A part of me wanted them to have to pay for my inconvenience and the repair costs.

I confess it took a while for me to sit back far enough from the blaming to recognize what effect it was having on me. I was angry, frustrated and fuming, all things which prevented me from seeing clearly.

Once I gained a little distance, I saw how my upset was prolonging my negative feelings and delaying me from finding a resolution to the problem.

I had to stop and ask myself an important question. What if life is offering me something of benefit wrapped up in this problem? What if its value is far greater than the cost of the upset and the snowblower repair?

But what could that be?

I really had to work hard to shift my perspective. What made it possible for me was my ultimate belief that everything in my life actually ‘serves’ me in some way. Everything benefits me, no matter how it first appears. These ideas fueled my inner search.

I wondered, what if I accepted that sometimes things happen PERIOD. No one did it on purpose. No one was trying to harm or upset me. What if I just accepted that it happened and could be resolved? What if I did this quickly so that I avoided feeling angry and gave others the benefit of the doubt and didn’t blame them?

How would that change my world?

What if instead of blaming others I forgave them? How much would that save me from suffering? How much better would that be for my mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual wellbeing?

My answer is…it would fantastic. It would be an extraordinary decision.

I’m not saying that I’m adept at this yet. Clearly not. But what I did discover was that there is another way, a better way and hopefully I’ll choose that next time and save myself a whole lot of misery.