Category: Jesus

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Letting Go

I made a promise to myself in October of 2020, that when I started writing these posts twice a week, I would be honest. I would tell my story without holding back. Without being afraid you, as a reader, would turn away from me.

Without the truth, what do we have?

Today I want to share a poem I wrote several years ago. It was true then and is true now.

Since I was young, I’ve felt a special connection to Jesus, who I now call, Yeshiwa (Yeshua), his name in his native tongue of Aramaic. I wrote this poem as a conversation between us, a way of gaining a better understanding of my life and finding a way of letting go.

I’m sure you have your own sense of what the truth is, and I would never ask you to accept anything I have to say (ever) if it does not feel right to you. My role in this life and with these posts is to share with you what feels true to me and invite you to decide for yourself. Being connected is its own divine gift.

So, here is my conversation.

I am connected to you

I feel it all the way through me

I know I can be you

If I am prepared

If I find the way

The narrow path

I wonder

What will I have to give up

Change, surrender, abandon

I wonder

How is it possible to open

As wide as you

What sort of strength will that take

Who can help me

Can you, do you want to

Must I make a hole in my roof

To be in your presence

I am listening closely

For your voice

Your touch

Your certain peace

My heart hears you calling me

I am invited into your courtyard

You wish to speak with me

It is hard to calm my spirit

To slow the questions

Difficult to breathe

I want to give you my heart

I volunteer it

You say that it is not necessary

That you have your own

That I need mine

You want to make sure

I am listening

So you wait

Till my eyes are soft

My heart quiet

I hear your words

Inside of me

Hard words for me to understand.

You tell me not to try to be you

There is only ever going to be

One of you

I misunderstand

I think inside me

A soft scolding

How could I think I could be you

But that’s not it

It’s not what you meant

You were clear

But I am cloudy

You try again

You ask a part of me to let go

To relax into silence

So I can truly hear you

I ask my ego

To lie down

And take a nap

And when I hear it snoring

I open as wide as I can

And you start again

You say there is only ever

One of each of us

We are different grains of sand that make up the beach

This is how it is

And it is beautiful this way

You fill me

With wonder

You tell me

That all of my trying

Has both made me who I am

And kept me from being who

I can be

And that it is time

To decide

There is no wrong decision

I can stay where I am

I love and am loved

Right where I am

And no harm will come to me

From not moving

From this place

Yet

I know

There is something ahead

Calling to me

I hear the most beautiful music

Pulling me

Gently into the light

Oh, the hallowed light

No more a dream

But real

How long I have waited

For this

You smile

You guide

You take my hand in yours

I could die happily

Right now in your arms

Oh, to be with you

I look into your eyes

I hear you

I hear you tell me

We are all each other’s saviors

There are other things

You want me to know

Am I ready

To hear them

I surely hope so

It feels as though a great deal

Depends on it

I hear you speak of freedom

Of letting my spirit go

Just simply letting go

I hear you tell me

To trust you

To trust me

That all this holding

All this planning

All this fear

About the future

About my present

It is so unnecessary

There is so much pain

Doubt

So many tears

You tell me

It was never meant to be this way

And that I never meant

To live this way

But somehow

I changed my mind

And although it has taken

A long time

I see now

Where my heart truly belongs

You ask me

If I am ready

I hear my own voice

Saying

Yes, I am ready

So ready

Now what

I ask

You breathe words into me

Give it all away

You say

Every last thing

Hold nothing

Hold nothing back

Hold nothing in

Let it all be free

Part of me understands this

Part does not

How

How is this done

I want to

I want to let go

Of everything

I can not hold the weight of it any more

I don’t want to

Are you sure

I ask myself

It’s hard to let go

Even though it is what I want

What I need

So I come to this

It is up to me to choose

And so I do

I choose to let go

And I feel

Something

Sacred happen

And

It feels like home

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A Good Friday Performance Invitation

This is a different post from my normal.

There is a special reason for this. There is something unique and beautiful that will only happen tomorrow on Good Friday, April 7, 2023, at 7:00pm (EST).

That’s when there will be a live performance of the play, Nine, A Holy Week Story of Love. This play was inspired by the events experienced by Yeshiwa (Jesus) and those involved in his life during his last week on earth. Each of the nine stories (Acts) offer an intimate view of how deeply and profoundly we are all loved by God.

If you live near Albany, New York you can attend in person at Unity Church in Albany, 21 King Avenue, Albany, NY 12206, but if you’re far away, you can watch the performance, as it will be Live Streamed on Unity Church in Albany’s website.

Go to Unity Church in Albany’s website (unityalbany.org), select Live Stream and click on the red button in the center of the graphic for the performance of Nine, A Holy Week Story of Love.

To be candid, this may not appeal to all mainstream Christian churchgoers, because there are a few significantly different interpretations of the events that occurred.

Let me offer you a little background.

I have always loved the Easter story and it touches my heart more deeply than any other story from the Bible. I feel connected to each person and sense their emotional and spiritual energy in ways my mind cannot comprehend.

On Good Friday in 2018, I spent three hours, from noon to 3:00pm, standing, sitting, and walking around the sanctuary of Unity Church in Albany (NY), with the hope that I would be able to connect spiritually and come to a greater understanding of the events surrounding Easter. I sensed a strength, peace and clarity and felt a ‘knowing’ arrive within me, as if I were present during that time. It felt intimate and real and I wanted very much to capture each of the stories so that they could be shared with the world. Over the next several weeks I received the words to this play.

But more than the words, I felt the beauty, grace, and loving heart of Yeshiwa (Jesus’s name in his native language of Aramaic) that was and is the center of each of these stories. I do not ask you to believe me. I ask only that you listen to the words and let them reveal to you what truth they have to share.

I cannot have any vested interest in the outcome of your decision. It is yours alone.

What I am vested in is making this available to you so that you can hear, feel, and know what incredible power and love is present and available for you. Every one of you, with no exceptions.

Each of the stories (Acts) focuses on Yeshiwa’s message, which is always about forgiveness, the power of redemption, and the divine intimacy of love.

My sole responsibility was to channel the words as I received them and to be true to their content. You might think that was an easy task. It was not. Imagine for a moment that you felt you had to relate a truth you knew could inflame others. Would you go ahead?

Despite how incredibly powerful these stories are, I agonized about placing them in front of others. Surrendering and trusting was extremely difficult for me. And yet, I knew in the deepest part of me that they belong to the world and so, along with other brave souls, we are offering them to you.

If you are curious to hear them for yourself, please join us. I know their power and I believe you will too.

Should you desire to have a copy for yourself, print and eBook versions are available on Amazon, which you can access on Amazon/Books, then enter, Nine, A Holy Week Story of Love, by Rob H Geyer. The blue background book contains the Cast Version and the sunburst yellow book is the full version.

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The Greatest Among You

I want to share an incredible experience with you. It may stretch your beliefs a bit, but I think it will be worth your time.

I realize it’s up to each person to find their own way in this world. I do not ask you to believe me. I ask only that you read the following words I am writing and let them reveal to you the truth they have to share.

Beginning on Good Friday in 2018, I started receiving an intimate understanding of the events surrounding Yeshiwa’s life (Jesus’ name in his native language of Aramaic). I sensed a strength, peace and clarity and felt a ‘knowing’ arrive within me, as if I were present during the events which occurred during Yeshiwa’s last week on earth. I felt the entire story channel through me. So much so, that I wrote it all down.

It took a great deal of courage for me to share this dramatic portrait with others, especially because there are some elements which differ widely from the traditional Easter story. But I did, and with the help of many others, the play Nine, A Holy Week Story of Love, was performed live on Good Friday at Unity Church in Albany (NY) in 2019. The congregation sat in rapt attention while each part was spoken. It was the quietest congregation I’ve ever experienced.

Recently I was rereading the play and one section jumped out at me. I could tell instantly why it did because it was an answer to a series of questions that have been troubling me.

I understand that you, as a reader, may have different religious and spiritual beliefs and I honor that. I wanted to share this with you, because I believe that no matter what faith you embrace, there is profound wisdom in these words.

As a part of the story, Yeshiwa is speaking to his disciples at the Last Supper and is explaining the meaning of his washing their feet.

Here is the passage:

“And I responded, because I love you and care for you and to show you the way to live. Others have told you that the greatest always receives rich treasure and reward. But I tell you that the greatest among you will open their hearts wide and will serve others. They will draw love from the deep well inside them and let it overflow into the world. This will be their service and reward.”

For me, there is enormous relevance in this passage and a great deal of clarity.

I’d failed to fully understand that ‘others’ refers to all those who surround me, but specifically to all of the cultural training I’ve received from others since day one. And I recognized in a new way that the reference to the ‘greatest’, were those I’d considered as the most popular, prettiest, most famous, those that have the most followers or influence or who have received the most complements and praise. They were the ones with great wealth, premium cars, big mansions, and those who received major awards and recognition. And even though I intellectually understand none of this necessarily bring joy or happiness, I felt attracted to it.

After rereading the passage, I felt a huge shift. A very welcome huge shift.

I sensed the usage of the word “I” to mean the divine (in this case, Yeshiwa) and that the ‘greatest’ refers to those who are the most joy-filled, happiest, most open. And that when a person chooses to ‘open their hearts wide’, they naturally offer others love, compassion, aid, hugs, encouragement, companionship, and they give freely from their strength. When one chooses to ‘serve others’, they offer themselves freely and fully, they provide support and care. They donate their time, talents, and treasures.

Those who decide to live this way in the world will find they can always draw from the deep well inside. And this well never runs dry because when one lives this way they are connected to the divine source.

This is what I want most in my life and I needed this reminder to help me shift away from what ‘others’ may feel is important and center in on what I know in my heart is important to me.

SPECIAL OFFER There will be a live performance of Nine, A Holy Week Story of Love at Unity Church in Albany on April 7, 2023, at 7:00pm. This performance will also be livestreamed on YouTube. I’ll provide more details a few weeks prior to the event