Category: limits

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Outside Your Comfort Zone

I wanted to ask you a question.

How do you deal with things outside your comfort zone?

Does it freak you out or paralyze you for a while? Or are you able to extend yourself without much effort and roll with things?

My follow up question would be…how do you think your comfort zone was created?

When I look back over the years, I suspect mine has widened and narrowed many times depending on what I’m experiencing at the time.

Next month I’ll be going to my fiftieth college graduation celebration, a milestone to be sure. I still remember how I felt on my first day. I was very worried I would never fit in, wouldn’t make any friends, wouldn’t be able to “hack it” (as I would have said at the time). And I felt that way for quite a long time. But I did meet friends and did fit in and after a miserable academic beginning I was able to redeem my grades and graduate.

There were other times too when my comfort zone was exceeded, many of them dealing with firsts…first day on the job, first time speaking to a crowd of my peers and bosses, first time I gave a sermon in church. My list goes on and on.

I bet yours does too.

It would be nice to think that I am passed all of that and that I’ve pushed my zone so far that nothing I do bothers me or challenges me. But that would not be the truth. I still do plenty of things that press hard against my perceived limits.

And that is the exact point of this post.

Pushing past our own self-imposed limits.

I’d like to encourage you to consider giving yourself permission to do something, anything that challenges you beyond what you think are your limits.

I’d like to advocate for you and tell you that you CAN do extraordinary things.

You are probably saying something out loud like, where does this person get off telling me I CAN do extraordinary things? He doesn’t even know me!

Well, in one way that is true. In all likelihood, I don’t know you personally and you’d have a case to make that therefore I cannot comment on your capabilities.

But here’s the thing…I can tell you this because you are here reading this post, which says to me that you are searching and I’m willing to bet part of your search is for someone to “see” you. To see the powerful, radiant being you are. Sure, you have your share of fears and have probably been knocked down a few times, but you likely also got back up.

I know that every person on this planet has the capacity for MORE, even if it’s only one more step. I’m here to champion the idea of your taking one more step and to tell you it could lead to the beginning of something grand and wonderful.

You need examples?

Okay, I am afraid of failure. I also happen to know the easiest way to fail…never trying in the first place. So, I gather my courage, reflect on past successes, give myself wholly to the task at hand and use a sacred formula for overcoming obstacles and moving beyond my comfort zone.

I’m going to share it with you. I spend time conceiving what I aim to experience. I know very well that if I can conceive something, it can be mine. Once I have conceived it, I sit with it until I believe it will happen for/to me. Of course there can be lingering doubts, but I tell them to step aside because I’m busy believing. And then, I take action. Often, it is a series of actions. And during the whole process I focus on my feelings and how joyful I feel that I am doing something I feel is meaningful.

So, here’s my practical example. I’m going to facilitate my own retreat on a subject that is very near and dear to me, talking with (god). I have been having personal, intimate conversations with (god) for over 27 years and I want to share the simple process I use so that others can have their OWN conversations. Stepping out and doing everything for the retreat myself is very challenging and really pushes me beyond my comfort zone.

Here’s another element that helps.

I tell myself to move forward, to take one step at a time and to keep going. There are always excuses I can offer myself, but I remind myself not to accept any of them and to keep moving forward.

I believe in you and know you can do the same thing. I hope you decide to give it a try.

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Limitless

My friend, Cheri Warren and I, created a Four Word Question Deck for Self-Discovery. It’s based on an Instagram series of four-word questions I created and beautiful background pictures Cheri designed. We created a 52-card deck that asks questions with the intention of serving as a springboard for going deeper into your inner awareness. They act as a kind of prompt for your intuitive side to tune into knowledge and wisdom you don’t normally experience. If they sound like something you’d be interested in purchasing, information is available at the end of this post.

The reason I’m mentioning this at the beginning of the post is that I recently shuffled through the deck and randomly selected one card to focus on. It read; “is your life limitless”.

I’ve pulled several cards in the past for review since we made the deck and each time it starts out as a mystery why the card appeared. I began with an assumption that they would always make immediate sense to me, but they don’t. And now that I’ve had a chance to reflect on it, I’m glad they don’t, because it encourages me to engage more deeply with them.

In this case, my first reaction to the card, “is your life limitless” was that it depends on what I choose to believe about the whole concept of limitlessness.

I could defer my choice and allow my cultural training to govern my answer and my life path, or I could make an entirely different decision. It was difficult for me to get beyond the idea that my answer has to be, ‘no, my life is not limitless’, regardless of how much I want it to be otherwise.

There are in fact plenty of limits for me to contend with. I have obvious physical, emotional, and mental limits. I cannot defy gravity and fly on my own. I cannot imagine being able to emotionally handle losing family and friends because of a war or other tragedy. And I cannot understand calculus or quantum physics. There also happens to be other significant things I feel limited in performing, which makes me wonder how the answer could be anything but, ‘no’.

And yet I want my answer to be ‘yes, my life is limitless.’

How can I justify this outrageous claim?

I thought about this for quite a while and asked myself, what are my life limits? Can I become a millionaire, walk on the moon, travel around the world, be kind to everyone I meet, sit under a waterfall in the mountains?

It occurred to me that one of the values of considering this question is because it assists me in determining what’s important enough to me to push my limits. Sure, it’s easy to see I have defined limits, but am I allowing my assumptions about them to control the outcomes I experience in my life?

The answer to that for me is ‘yes, I am’. So, I have to wonder, why is this my choice? Am I afraid to push beyond what I believe is possible? How is that worthwhile for me?

So, despite my initial reaction to the appearance of this card, that of course my life is not limitless, I want to shift my awareness and make a conscious choice to test my limits to see which of them are real. I want to collect up all of my assumptions, place them in a bag and tie a tight knot at the top so they can’t escape.

I want to explore the magnitude of my capabilities. How else will I ever know what my actual limits are? If I answer too quickly, I know I will feel smaller than I am. If I listen to everyone else around me, I will fall prey to those who don’t want me to experience too much success. And, if I resist trying to grow, I fail before I even begin.

The value of this card has shown itself to me. Within these four words there lies the promise of expansion outward into the greater world. My life may not be entirely limitless but there is still so much beauty, magic, and radiance for me to experience.

In my heart, I believe the same is true for you.

Should you be interested in purchasing your own Four Word Question Deck for Self-Discovery, please visit my website:

www.messagesforinspiration.com and click on the Four Word Question tab, then click on the picture of the box. From here you can place your order directly.

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Misogi Challenge

When was the last time you challenged yourself?

Was it a long time ago? Was the challenge difficult or easy to complete? Did it truly stretch you and demand something special from you?

Recently my son, Tommy, told me about the ‘Misogi Challenge’. He pointed me to a blog by John Gamades, called Depth Not Width, in which he quoted Jesse Itzler.

According to the blog, Jesse says, “The notion around the misogi is you do something so hard one time a year that it has an impact the other 364 days of the year.”Jesse adds,“Put one big thing on the calendar that scares you, that you never thought you could do, and go out and do it.” 

There are of course other ways to view this experience.

In traditional Japanese culture, misogi involves immersing oneself in cold water or standing beneath a waterfall to purify the body and mind.

But in contemporary times, misogi has taken on a broader meaning. It’s a challenge that pushes you to your limits and forces you to confront your fears, doubts, and weaknesses. The choice or focus of your misogi is expected to have a 50% or greater chance of failure. In addition, a misogi should not kill you or harm others.

Once you complete the challenge, it’s a reminder that you are stronger than you believe and that more is possible than you can imagine. Misogi is an opportunity to reset yourself for the year to come.

I’ve been thinking about this idea for a while now and wondering what I could do to push my own limits.

This brings up several questions. What are my limits? How do I know what they are until I try to do something? Even then, how can I tell whether I can push past them?

I like the idea of challenging myself and I’ve done a lot of things that went far beyond what I initially thought was possible for me.

But what about now? What is so big that it has a 50% chance of failure, but won’t kill me or harm others?

An idea crystalized for me.

I happen to live across the street from the Helderberg Hudson Rail Trail in Albany County. According to the official website, the trail runs from Grove Street in Voorhessville to South Pearl Street in Albany, a one-way distance of 9 miles. One portion of the trail is a steady, fairly long, steep grade that runs for about 2 miles.

I immediately thought about walking the full length of the trail, but that seemed too short to push me beyond my limits, since I already walk 2-3 miles a day.

So, I decided the challenge would be to walk from one end to the other and back again, a total of 18 miles. Plus, I would wear a backpack filled with lots of water, my break and lunch food and some added weight, to make the walk more difficult.

I should add that my feet are not in the best shape. I have arthritis in each of my toes and neuromas in both feet, which cause pain due to swelling around the nerves. I am currently having laser treatments and hope for significant improvement, but I may not know for sure prior to my walk.

I asked myself, “how do I rate the difficulty of this challenge and how does that translate to the benchmark of less than a 50% chance of completion?”

It certainly feels daunting. I’ve never walked that far at one time before and definitely not carrying any weight. I have no idea whether the pain in my feet will be too intense or whether the weather will be too hot and drain and fatigue me.

You could legitimately ask…then why attempt it?

I’ve thought about that too.

And here is what I decided. I want to prove to myself that I am stronger than I think I am, and more capable and determined. I want to feel the boost in physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual energy and excitement that comes from achieving something beyond myself. And something beyond limits that I’ve accepted. I want to embrace new visions for my future, knowing I possess everything it takes to succeed.

Although the task may be rated as less than 50% chance of completion, I believe I have a 100% chance of success, since Tommy will be walking next to me.

So, what challenge do you accept from yourself?

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Limited Words

I have a question for you. If you let it, it could be a really important question, because your answer may end up guiding your life.

Here it is.

If you could only speak one hundred words from now until the end of your life, what words would they be, when would you speak them and to whom would you say them?

I ask you to avoid the temptation to answer right away. Instead, pause a moment to reflect.

Sit still and let the essence of this question take hold of you. Breathe in and out a few times.

Give your mind some room to consider.

One hundred words is not very many, so you may need a few minutes or a few hours to decide which ones are the most important to you.

Not only which words to choose, but who to say them to and when.

Would you spread them out, speaking only a few now, in order to save some for the years to come?

Or would you gasp a little and spill some words carelessly?

Stepping back like this could provide enough distance to take full measure of the importance of the words you use.

A while ago, I asked a variation on this theme. I asked that if you only had seven words you could use, what would they be? This time I’ve shifted, but the intention is similar because there is a limit. Whenever I feel the weight of some heavy limit upon me, I find it forces me to go deeper. I sense a need to clarify who I am and what is important to me.

The idea that I could only speak one hundred more words in my life is incredibly challenging and feels overwhelming.

I don’t like it at all. But the truth is, I know there is value in my asking.

One idea hits me. Maybe I could be clever and find ways to save some words. I could learn sign language or develop my own shorthand of signs. That way, I could still communicate, just not using words.

Still, being limited to one hundred words would be very difficult for me. Maybe for you too. Especially considering that a fairly common sentence could easily be seven to ten words. That’s only 10-14 sentences for my life.

If this situation was real and I truly had this limit, I believe I would want my family and friends to know I love them and that I care about them and their future.

I would want others to know how important they were to me and how much I hoped they would succeed and experience their dreams as reality.

I think I would skip all gossip, judgements, expectations, and admonitions. I would let others live their lives without commenting or giving my opinions because I would want to conserve my words for the good stuff.

I’m pretty sure my facial expressions speak volumes for me. I could replace my words with a variety of smiles and my body language could assist with conveying messages.

Even so, I think I would parse my words very carefully, which I see now that I don’t do at present. I take them for granted. I think this is a mistake on my part.

I think I will keep this idea in mind and let it guide my words for the future.