Category: love

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Nothing For Granted

I’ve been thinking about how often I seem to take things for granted. Maybe this happens to you too.

I began wondering why. Could it be that my mind is just too busy with other things or is there something deeper going on?

There was a somewhat melancholy feeling running through me and words started flowing onto a page in my journal. I thought I’d share them with you, so that maybe together we could remind ourselves to take nothing for granted.

Nothing For Granted

Life is precious,

Sometimes staying in one place,

Sometimes leaping head.

I want to remember it all.

I wonder to myself about things,

About moments I experience,

What if this were my last hug,

The last spoke word I’ll ever hear,

What if this were my last sunset,

Last long soothing shower I’ll ever have,

Last delicious meal I’ll eat,

Or song I’ll hear,

Or walk I’ll take,

What if it’s the last firefly I’ll see light up

On a hot summer night,

Last starlit sky,

Last new spring green explosion of leaves I’ll see,

Or the last brilliant colorful autumn extravaganza,

What if it’s the last time I’ll feel the warmth of a cozy blanket,

Or the sunshine on my face,

What if this was the last time I’ll feel my wife’s lips against mine,

Would it change what it means to me

To be alive,

Would I treasure it,

Savor it,

Breath into it.

Would I try to hold onto it for dear life.

I wonder,

What do I want my life to be like.

So,

I sit with all of this

And let it wash over me

And I know what I want,

I want everything

To mean something to me,

Every sting,

Every fall and rise,

Every illusive dream,

Hurt, hope, every breath,

Every face and heart connection,

I want the whole collection of life,

Because it all matters.

And what I want most

Is to feel alive

And connected

And

I want to take nothing for granted,

Ever

I am curious what things you’d put on your list. Maybe you are too.

Be well.

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Life Plan

This is going to be short, but don’t let that fool you. If you give it a moment you may find something truly life changing. I say that because that’s what it is for me.

What if the plan was always to leave with what you came here with…nothing.

I sometimes get caught up with what I possess here on earth and the truth is I leave empty handed, except for one thing…my spirit. That I take with me.

I arrived on earth open and ready to be filled. But I don’t think my purpose was ever to be filled to overflowing with the ‘things’ of this world. They take up too much physical space.

Rather, I believe I came to create and experience connections, deep relationships with others and the world. Those things fill me without taking up space.

There is freedom here. A liberation. A detachment from the weight of the ‘things’ I own (or that own me). A shift in perspective to realize I am going to leave this world with nothing…except what my spirit brings with me…which is the love I found here.

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Closets

While away on a break from writing original posts I thought I’d share some of my favorites with you from the past three and a half years. In mid-March I’ll return with more original posts. Until then, please enjoy these.

I believe this is the first post that I have written that forced itself out of me. The topic kept coming back and despite the fact that I resisted it, it would not be denied.

Why? What was I trying to avoid? I wasn’t sure but I knew I had to explore it.

Have there been times in your life when you knew something important was about to happen, but there was an element of concern in your mind? Maybe I ought to be clearer, I don’t mean ‘concern’, but straight up ‘fear’.

That’s the sense I had when the topic, ‘closets’, came into view.

The first thought I had was simple enough. After all we have lots of closets in our house, most of them pretty full. Some have clothes, shoes, boot, jackets, hats, and other articles of clothing. Others have towels, sheets, our vacuum, extra Kleenex and toilet paper, and a host of miscellaneous things.

Okay, no big deal there.

I did notice that closets are places to hide things you don’t want to see out in the open, because they would be too messy or take up too much space you need for other things.

This observation seemed to offer a clue, but the picture still wasn’t clear.

I remembered a saying about closets, that they are a place to store your skeletons. I checked out Wikipedia and discovered the saying came from 19th century England and was an idiom used to describe an undisclosed fact about someone which, if revealed, would damage perceptions of the person.

So, now I’m getting closer. Closets are an important hiding place for what you don’t want others to know about you. They house secrets and hide what we might describe as shameful things. I wondered; don’t we all have things we hope never see the light of day? Things we’ve thought or done that if others knew, would alter their opinions of us?

That’s closer to my fear about not wanting to write this post, but not the end point yet.

It only took a second longer to realize that closets have a much more significant reference point…’coming out of the closet’, where an individual reveals their sexuality, rather than hiding it. For those brave people who take this extraordinary step in their lives, I want to say, bravo to you.

Allowing others in society to dictate who a person can or cannot be through the use of shame, denial, stigma, humiliation, or any other form of control, devalues all humanity, especially those who refuse to continue hiding who they really are.

Unfortunately, many feel a strong sense of need to adhere to a set of religious beliefs that have been taught to them. Beliefs that are fear based rather than love based.

I fully realize this is an emotionally charged topic and is often seen as divisive, with only polar views, so that any stand I voice may be both popular and unpopular.

Okay, now it’s obvious to me why I wanted to resist this post.

But I have to take a stand.

I believe in love. Love opens, expands, embraces, forgives, accepts, is compassionate, caring and, valuing. It is the foundation of everything.

I also believe that the only role that fear plays is to be a messenger, a guide, a redirection from itself back to a state of love. Fear is meant to be temporary. Love is meant to be permanent.

I stand with all those who believe in love and encourage all those who believe in fear to use it to return to love. Everything is out in the open in love and nothing is hidden, nor does it need to be. I believe we all are meant to be who we are in this life. We have free will for this very purpose and it is not up to anyone to control another’s view of their life. I believe love offers us all a chance to embrace our lives in the ways we choose.

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Chaos Transformed by Love

While away on a break from writing original posts I thought I’d share some of my favorites with you from the past three and a half years. In mid-March I’ll return with more original posts. Until then, please enjoy these.

I look at the world today and see so much chaos. Fear seems to have taken deep root and manifested intense feelings that surface in disturbing ways. The air around us seems filled with worry, heart break and anger.

What can be done to help heal all of this?

For me, I realize I cannot be at peace if I harbor animosity in my heart for another person. If I fail to see that we are one human family and that we are all made from the same love, then I am lost.

When I see the cruel and violent actions of others, I have to be able to distinguish between who they ‘appear’ to me to be and who they truly ‘are’. They are more than the show of their outward actions and beliefs.

Before I cast a stone in their direction, I have to force myself to realize they are no more who they ‘appear’ to be than I am. Beneath our surfaces, we are all a part of the one. All made from the same source of love.

What I am saying goes far beyond ‘acceptance’. If I am to help in the worlds healing in any way, I have to be able to live from a center of love. I have to embrace all of my own weaknesses and my wholeness.

None of this is about condoning the behaviors or beliefs of others that arose from their fear and hatred. Rather, it is looking beyond and seeing that all of their actions come from their separation from the truth. The truth of who they really are, beloved of (god).

If I want to experience more feelings of separation and dissonance in my life, the surest way is to believe myself separate from them or superior to them. I benefit from realizing that I have no idea what their lives have been like and what stories they’ve been told and come to believe about themselves and the world.

If I want to help heal the world, I know that I have to start with myself. And so, I ask for a shift in my focus and that I seek a sense of clarity. I ask to have my heart opened fully, so that I can understand the difficult paths others have chosen. I have to suspend my judgment and I have to listen carefully. And, as best as I can, I have to see the world through their eyes.

My task is to see and feel with a loving undivided heart, knowing I am part of the wholeness and the holiness, and see all others as the same. If I live with this kind of heart, I can be in the world, but not of the world.

For there to be any peace inside of me, the depth of my love has to be deeper than the depth of another’s fear. I need to see beyond their misperceptions and find something within them I can hold inside of me. I have to breathe into stillness, letting go of my fear, until I find my loving heart and some part of the truth that can serve as a guide toward understanding and peace.

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What Can You Hear

Welcome to my first post for 2024. It’s wonderful to have you here with me. I’m constantly surprised and delighted that I am still writing and connecting with you. Back in October 2020 when I began, I had no idea how this would go. I wasn’t even certain that I would be able to manage technologically to maintain my website and process posts for you to see.

So, thank you for being here and for the comments you’ve passed along to me. It really means a lot that you take the time to let me know you’re out there.

During the three plus years I’ve allowed myself to tell you my truth and to share my story, realizing that it was possible that only some of you would remain interested, because it’s not an ordinary story.

But are any of our stories ordinary? Is yours?

I strongly tend to doubt it. We all live such fantastic lives no matter how common they seem at times. When we choose to open ourselves and let our divine essence run free, to explore and experiment, to offer honesty and light to each other, all of our worlds expand.

It took me a lot of years to let go of being small and hiding my light from all but a few. For me, it became necessary to release, to let go of everything that was holding me back.

I wonder, do you ever feel this way? Do you sense an absolute joy deep inside you, but are reluctant to bring it out in the open?

Does that feel too threatening somehow? Too intense? To revealing?

That is actually a large part of why I write these posts. I want to encourage you to step into your own magical, mystical, brilliant light. I know it’s there inside of you waiting. Waiting for you to decide what’s to be gained or lost.

I want to know what you can hear if you listen closely to your heart.

I had to know, no matter what the potential cost would be to me. I had to know for sure. And so, I wrote and wrote and wrote some more, until all of the fluff was gone. Until I was deep enough for the truth to come out, the honesty.

Maybe you need an example, a possible route to follow. When I gave myself permission to reveal my true feelings, this is what happened. I came into contact with god. We spoke to each other. This time it was a male voice. Without having to ask, I knew the voice was also a part of me, not separate, but the same.

I offer this conversation as one way you could begin. There are so many ways, enough so that anyone can find their own depth, their own center and balance.

I wonder what you hear

When you lean in close

Is it the sound of a sweet voice

Can you feel he loves you

Are you filled with hurting

Do you overflow with pain

Do you want to be close

Taken under his wing

Do you dream of belonging

Do you have hope for the future

Has the world often crushed you

Has it broken your heart

Do you need some salvation

Have you trusted the wrong ones

Have you hit lots of dead ends

Is your faith in the dust

Time to know something new

Time to let go this life

Time to open in all ways

To see his beautiful face

Nothing required

And nothing demanded

Just say one word

Just open the door

He is always waiting

He walks beside you

His hand is wide open

To take yours and mine

The dream is for real life

To spend it connected

To love every other

As much as we can

May your pathway become clear, and your truth be revealed. Without needing to know you directly, I can tell you, I love you.

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New Year Love

I’ve chosen to repeat my post from the end of 2020 because I still believe it represents the truth and I wanted to remind you about it. So, here it is.

I wonder what you want from this life. If you were given a notebook or a journal or a clean slate, what would you write on it?

Here’s a choice…you can stop reading this post for a few minutes and write down the first things that come to you or you can keep reading and perhaps, if you’re interested, do this later (although I may spoil it a little with the rest of this post).

This isn’t the typical New Year’s resolutions, nor a list of challenging items to attempt to accomplish. Rather, it’s a wish list of the experiences you most want to have this time around.

Now, what would happen if I asked you to narrow your list down to only one thing. Would that be difficult for you?

I think it is often the case that we have so many options it becomes challenging to sort through them and choose only the ones that we think will make us happy.

Years ago, Maureen and I were in San Diego and went to brunch at the Hotel Del Coronado. It was incredible. I think they boasted that they had over 130 selections to choose from. It was overwhelming and almost everything looked delicious. I seriously doubt whether anyone left there without a massive stomach ache. They should have handed out Tums as folks walked out the door.

That’s how it can be when we’re given too many choices. Often, we want more things than we can manage. That’s my reason for asking you to narrow your list to only one item. To gain some clarity and focus.

I want to share with you what I chose.

I want to feel loved and that it makes a difference that I’m here on this earth.

I am profoundly grateful that there are those in my life who tell me that they love me and that I make a difference in their lives.

But sometimes, I only hear long after the fact that what I did or said, reached someone. I long to be a part of others’ lives, connecting deeply them. I want them to know that I love them.

From time to time, there is an aloneness that comes to join me. When this happens, it is hard to feel others love for me.

In one of those moments, I asked Lia (a feminine part of god I know as Love In Action) about this and was surprised by her answer.

She said, “YOU are always free to do this…to offer love to yourself and to others. And you can always talk with me and I will tell you the truth…you are made from pure love.  You needn’t be troubled by your own misperception that you are anything else but love. The truth remains the truth, that you and I are ONE. One pure love.”

I don’t know about you, but for some reason it’s hard for me to tell myself that I love me. It’s only on my wisest days, that I can hold still, take a calming breathe and tell myself that I love me and that I know it matters that I’m here. That I have a purpose and a mission.

Lia offers this reminder, “It is the same for every one of you. You all want to know and feel love. I ask that you believe me, that you are love.”

My hope for you, heading into this new year, is that you know love and feel loved. It’s truly the reason why I write these posts.

Thank you for allowing me to repeat this. My next post will be new, I promise.

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How You Love Me

If you’ve been reading my posts already, you’ll know that I have a very intimate relationship with the divine. We have conversations all the time. It can be when I have loads of time on my hands and we can have an hour or two long dialogues or it can be a brief inner talk while waiting in line somewhere.

I often wonder what you as a reader think when I say things like this.

Do you have your own conversations with the divine, so it seems normal to you? Or do you want to have a dialogue, but aren’t sure if it would work or what you would say or whether the divine would respond to you?

Do you think I am out of my head?

I probably am because I’m more fully in my heart and connected to spirit. I’ve been having conversations for so many years that I don’t think about whether they are real or possible or normal. They just happen.

One of the benefits of this is that I get to share them with you. If you’d like to engage in your own, please do. For me, all that is ‘required’ is to conceive the conversation is possible, to do your best to believe it and then give yourself some time to open, be quiet, then ask the divine to speak with you.

Often, I am overwhelmed with a sense of awe, wonder and a deep connection of love between us. I’d like to share one such ‘conversation’, which was really a love poem offered to me.

“How you love me”

I felt you speak to me

In answer to the opening of my heart

You let me know that the eventual

And ultimate outcome is already certain…

I come back to you

There is nothing quite as beautiful as this

In all of the world

To know you love me so much

That you want me back

In the meantime

It is so wonderful to know that

You do not require, expect or demand

Anything from me

And that your advice

Is just that…

Advice

It is meant to aid me in being happy

For that is what you want

What our dream and reality is about

You suggest

That I treasure each moment

That I accept and love

This moment

The only moment that actually exists

And if there are things I don’t like

To kiss them and let them go

Your voice is soft in saying

Love the moment

And let it go

You hear the noise inside me

And ask me to recognize

That when I feel weight on me

To see it, breathe it and release it

And know that you are not the source of this weight

You are never the source of it

You remind me again

If you don’t like it

Love it and let it go

You counsel

Be attentive

Be aware

Breathe

Remember always to breathe

Remember too

You get to choose

And choosing creates your reality

If it is not what you want

Or who you want to be

Simply choose differently

Until it is consistent

With whom you want to be

And what you want to experience

It may sound too simple

But I hear clearly you say,

Choose on purpose

Choose what you do

And be a reflection of the best you

You can be

And please know this

It is okay

To do it your own way

There is no need to please others

Just be you

And feel good about being you

I know that you know everything

And I am so happy to finally realize

That

I am enough

I have enough

I do enough

And

There is enough of everything

I am content now

Even though

I see only a small piece of the puzzle

I don’t need to know everything any more

What liberation that is to me

I am not responsible to judge anyone

What freedom this brings to me

I thank you for these dawning’s

They help me float above the surface

Of the world

And draw me closer to you

To love

My heart soars

With gratitude.

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Letting Go

I made a promise to myself in October of 2020, that when I started writing these posts twice a week, I would be honest. I would tell my story without holding back. Without being afraid you, as a reader, would turn away from me.

Without the truth, what do we have?

Today I want to share a poem I wrote several years ago. It was true then and is true now.

Since I was young, I’ve felt a special connection to Jesus, who I now call, Yeshiwa (Yeshua), his name in his native tongue of Aramaic. I wrote this poem as a conversation between us, a way of gaining a better understanding of my life and finding a way of letting go.

I’m sure you have your own sense of what the truth is, and I would never ask you to accept anything I have to say (ever) if it does not feel right to you. My role in this life and with these posts is to share with you what feels true to me and invite you to decide for yourself. Being connected is its own divine gift.

So, here is my conversation.

I am connected to you

I feel it all the way through me

I know I can be you

If I am prepared

If I find the way

The narrow path

I wonder

What will I have to give up

Change, surrender, abandon

I wonder

How is it possible to open

As wide as you

What sort of strength will that take

Who can help me

Can you, do you want to

Must I make a hole in my roof

To be in your presence

I am listening closely

For your voice

Your touch

Your certain peace

My heart hears you calling me

I am invited into your courtyard

You wish to speak with me

It is hard to calm my spirit

To slow the questions

Difficult to breathe

I want to give you my heart

I volunteer it

You say that it is not necessary

That you have your own

That I need mine

You want to make sure

I am listening

So you wait

Till my eyes are soft

My heart quiet

I hear your words

Inside of me

Hard words for me to understand.

You tell me not to try to be you

There is only ever going to be

One of you

I misunderstand

I think inside me

A soft scolding

How could I think I could be you

But that’s not it

It’s not what you meant

You were clear

But I am cloudy

You try again

You ask a part of me to let go

To relax into silence

So I can truly hear you

I ask my ego

To lie down

And take a nap

And when I hear it snoring

I open as wide as I can

And you start again

You say there is only ever

One of each of us

We are different grains of sand that make up the beach

This is how it is

And it is beautiful this way

You fill me

With wonder

You tell me

That all of my trying

Has both made me who I am

And kept me from being who

I can be

And that it is time

To decide

There is no wrong decision

I can stay where I am

I love and am loved

Right where I am

And no harm will come to me

From not moving

From this place

Yet

I know

There is something ahead

Calling to me

I hear the most beautiful music

Pulling me

Gently into the light

Oh, the hallowed light

No more a dream

But real

How long I have waited

For this

You smile

You guide

You take my hand in yours

I could die happily

Right now in your arms

Oh, to be with you

I look into your eyes

I hear you

I hear you tell me

We are all each other’s saviors

There are other things

You want me to know

Am I ready

To hear them

I surely hope so

It feels as though a great deal

Depends on it

I hear you speak of freedom

Of letting my spirit go

Just simply letting go

I hear you tell me

To trust you

To trust me

That all this holding

All this planning

All this fear

About the future

About my present

It is so unnecessary

There is so much pain

Doubt

So many tears

You tell me

It was never meant to be this way

And that I never meant

To live this way

But somehow

I changed my mind

And although it has taken

A long time

I see now

Where my heart truly belongs

You ask me

If I am ready

I hear my own voice

Saying

Yes, I am ready

So ready

Now what

I ask

You breathe words into me

Give it all away

You say

Every last thing

Hold nothing

Hold nothing back

Hold nothing in

Let it all be free

Part of me understands this

Part does not

How

How is this done

I want to

I want to let go

Of everything

I can not hold the weight of it any more

I don’t want to

Are you sure

I ask myself

It’s hard to let go

Even though it is what I want

What I need

So I come to this

It is up to me to choose

And so I do

I choose to let go

And I feel

Something

Sacred happen

And

It feels like home

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Seeing Clearly

Do you know who you are?

Perhaps you get lost in the grand illusion of this life, making it difficult to see yourself clearly. Maybe you keep track of all of the events in your life, many of which you criticize yourself for, so that you experience challenges, and your true self remains hidden.

It is so easy to see only the surface of our lives, to score every perceived failure, to lament very unattained goal. We are tempted to regret every harsh word and gesture done by us or done to us.

Perhaps your anger holds you tightly in its grasp or you feel closed off from the world, drawn inward, needing to protect yourself. Maybe you are afraid to open to love, to be loved. Maybe the surface of your life is too real for you, and you find it hard to imagine knowing you are more than this. So much more than this.

Would you like to see with new eyes? With a new heart, one that sees the truth, the truth of who you really are?

Close your eyes for a moment. Imagine your eyes being washed, cleaned, refreshed, ready for new vision. Open your eyes and open your heart. Imagine you are facing a mirror. Allow your gaze to fall upon your reflection. Look deeply into your own eyes and know there is a depth to them that is infinite and that is connected to the one source of all power and love. To the divine center of all creation.

This is who you are…the eyes of love, able to see into every darkness and bring it light. Able to renew and refresh, to start again. And this time, to start with the awareness that you are made entirely of love. A radiance and brilliance beyond your present imagining. You are connected to the source of love. Connected in such a way that you will always be able to feel it.

This is who you truly are, love incarnate in the world. You are a part of the divine, living and moving in this beautiful world. In all things, you can choose the path of love. You are love.

Because you have been in this world for some time now and have listened carefully to what it says, you may be having a hard time believing this.

You might be asking yourself, how can such a claim be made? Where is the evidence…the proof of this?

You might not be prepared to take my word for it. I understand this. We’ve received so much training that opposes this perspective. We look around and notice how people are treated and can not reconcile how, if we are all love, how can so many hurtful things be happening?

So let me ask a question.

How can we see clearly that we are love and came from love when our observations of this world show us hatred, jealousy, contempt, oppression…and other manifestations of fear?

My answer is straightforward…we choose what to see and what to believe. And once the choice is made, we experience the outcome.

I believe that before we came to this earth, we existed as pure love. It is our true essence. However, since we have the gift of free will, we can choose any experience here on earth. If we choose fear, in any of its forms, we release our awareness of love and are trapped inside fear. From this place love appear unreal.

So, I invite you to choose wisely. When a decision point is reached, consider what you would like to experience the most in this world. Do you want to live in fear, or do you want to choose a loving path, one that connects you with others, supports you, encourages you, makes your life better?

It really is all about the clarity of our vision. Can we see what will come of our decisions? The better we can, the more wonderful a life we will lead. And knowing we are made of love can help us make an aligned choice, one that comes from our loving heart.

I hope you live seeing clearly.

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Facing the Right Direction

I learned an amazing fact recently about sunflowers that has a lot to do with how to live a rich, centered, balanced life.

Imagine a field full of sunflowers. Can you see it in your mind? If you need a little help, the internet has lots of photos.

If the sun is out, take a second and see what you notice.

If you said, they’re all facing the same direction, you’re correct. And the direction they’re facing is always toward the sun. Each of their faces is upturned to capture as much sunshine as possible. They’re known as heliotropic because their heads follow the sun as it arcs through the sky.

In the morning sunflowers face east and as the day progresses, they end up facing west. Even more fantastic to me is that once the sun goes down, each sunflower turns and faces east again, waiting for the sun to come up in the morning.

What I find so compelling about this is that sunflowers know instinctively what their energy source is and orient themselves around it. They know the sun will feed them, so they follow it the whole day.

What if we oriented ourselves around what truly feeds and nourishes us?

What kind of life would that provide us?

The question that arises for me is, what is the best source of nourishment? I realize that what I choose will make all of the difference in my life. This idea makes me want to choose very carefully.

If you sat back in this moment, what would you choose?

There are a lot of things to pick from. Money, fame, job advancement, athletic excellence, social influence, strong relationships, popularity.

How do you decide what to choose? Maybe, you don’t want to choose only one. Maybe you want or need more. Maybe you want them all.

Thinking about my answer prompts me to consider whether the list is complete. Are there other things more important than the ones that first came to me?

It only takes a second to reveal my answer. None of these is what I want most. None of these will nourish me over the course of my life and I would be wise to look deeper.

So, I do and discover that what truly is the source of everything valuable in my life is love. If I connect to love in every situation, like the sunflowers connect to the sun, I will always have what I need and want. I will always be fulfilled.

Recently my nine-year-old grandson asked me a fascinating question. He was in the living room and called out to me in the kitchen asking, “What’s the most powerful thing in the world?”

I thought for a moment and said, “love”.

My thirteen-year-old granddaughter overheard both his question and my answer and said to me, “I knew you’d choose that.”

So, there it was, perhaps 30 seconds of elapsed time to reveal some magic and magnificence. He asked an incredibly important question and she reflected to me her awareness, her insight into me, with my answer. I felt ‘seen’. I was touched deeply by this impromptu exchange, and I thought about sunflowers and the way they move with the sun and recognized I am like them because I move to see and feel love.

Love centers me, balances me, and gives me everything I could ever hope for.

If I was ever asked, I would encourage anyone to find their sources of love and follow them throughout the day, then sit waiting for them to appear the next morning, like the sun gazing down on a field of sunflowers.