Category: love

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Sadness to the Source of Love

This morning I gave myself permission to feel disappointed. I didn’t fight it or try to tell myself I shouldn’t feel this way.

I am human and I want to feel loved. Part of this, for me, is that when I give love out, I hope for it in return.

I don’t give love with an expectation or at least I try not to. I don’t want there to be any strings attached. I try to let love overflow through me, as naturally I am able.

But once it is given out, I recognize there is some part of me that waits to see if any of it will come back to me and I admit, this part of me is sad when it doesn’t.

Do you ever feel this way?

The permission I give myself allows me to lean into the sadness, recognizing I cannot outrun it. By leaning in I hope to discover something, perhaps something worthwhile enough that I can keep it with me for the rest of my life.

I sense there is value beyond the sadness, a hidden treasure for me to find which is even more powerful than the love I’d hoped would be returned.

Even with this open permission it’s hard to see through my disappointment, as if it shrouds everything in a dense mist.

I ask to see through the mist and some of it clears away, but not enough.

I wonder, what else can I do?

A question forms…what are my intentions? Once I’ve accepted and embraced my sadness over the love I did not receive, what am I hoping to experience?

A mysterious answer comes to me in the form of two questions. They echo over and over. Do you feel emptied by this act of overflowing love? And do you feel a need to be refilled?

My quick response is ‘yes’ to both.

I sit back and realize; I have attached strings. Thick, strong, tight strings.

A dawning happens. My disappointment and sadness are present to help guide me to seeing more clearly this inescapable truth about myself.

I am looking outside of myself for love.

I know that I am not alone in this. I see it everywhere I look. It is as if we were taught that we are not enough and need others love to be whole.

Hold still for a moment and see if there is any truth in this for you.

My admission seems earthshaking to me…’I am not enough, therefore, I must be filled by others’. This of course makes me reliant on others, as much as a baby is reliant on its caregivers for its every need.

The analogy is not lost on me, and I wonder how far I have actually grown.

Another question forms…can I find within me an inexhaustible wellspring of love that will forever feed me?

This idea overtakes me and offers to shatter my dependence on others to be filled from their love. This idea guides me to the truth I seek, that I am a part of the divine; whole, complete, and holy. That I am never emptied of love because the divine lives within me. That I am connected to the divine, the infinitely deep, inexhaustible source of love.

I am incredibly joyful to have given myself permission to feel my feelings and to follow them from disappointment and sadness to discovering the truth that I am a part of the source of love.

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Heaven on Earth (Part Two)

Hopefully you’ve had a chance to read Part One of this post about heaven on earth. If not, please check it out, as it will make this post more meaningful.

This is a continuation of an assignment I gave myself several years ago where the challenge was to create my best version of life here. In essence, to offer myself and the world an opportunity to come together, connecting and sharing our lives, in the hope that we could join forces and find a way to live a life of love.

Here is part two of my Heaven on Earth assignment:

(picking up from where I left off with ‘forgiveness’)

And

We would find that “community” happens naturally when we touch, hug, care, love and forgive each other- and that once we build community there will always be support for all of us- no one would ever have to feel alone or separate, that there would always be someone to help, to comfort, to teach, to encourage our dream, to reward our contribution, to love us.

And

There would be abundant and gentle humor, not filled with anger, envy or harm- a kind of humor that includes, rather than excludes- a kind of humor that joins us in laughter and connection- a kind of humor that increases joy.

And

There would be creativity of all kinds; art, music, writing, building- and everyone would be encouraged to participate, no matter what their skill level was, because creativity is individual and it would grow in a loving environment- where imagination would be given life and seen as an extension of heaven to be appreciated- a place where you could lose yourself in abandon.

And

It would be a place of “potential peace”, sometimes utterly peaceful where everything is at joyful rest; balanced, centered, open, deliriously right and when the world turns to chaos, fear, anger, worry and hurt, there would exist an awareness that peace is still possible, and people would see those in pain and come to their aid, to listen, to hold them, to help them release their fears, to touch their spirit and show their love and in this act, provide balance for both giver and receiver- a kind of sacred harmony.

And

There would be a feeling of freedom within each of us, a certain knowing that we are loved, wholly and completely by the divine- so that there would always be a center of hope within us, a light that cannot be extinguished, a flame that kindles our own love and that connects us to everyone else, our sacred family- so that joy is always present. (the end)

So, sit back for a moment or two and see how this strikes you.

Is it at all realistic? In your opinion, could it ever happen?

I confess that despite how much I wish that things could be this way, I have my doubts. Mostly, this is because each of us has received the precious gift of ‘free will’, the ability to decide for ourselves what beliefs we will hold and choose what actions we will take in the world. It seems too difficult for me to believe that every person would sacrifice their own ability to choose, regardless of how much it might benefit everyone in the process.

From what I’ve seen during my life, there are always those who will take from others. Their need or desire is so great, and their rationalizations are so strong that they feel it is right for them to enhance themselves, even at the expense of others.

If I’m entirely honest, could I say I haven’t done this myself?

This question forces me to consider my own nature, which is not an easy thing to do, once you’ve come up with a beautiful plan for creating heaven on earth.

So, where do I go from here?

As with absolutely every decision in my life, my choices create my experience. I feel it necessary to ask myself, what is the most important experience for ME? I guess this may be the same question you’d need to ask yourself.

When I feel connected to the divine, love is my choice, and it is this I hope to always choose.

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Heaven On Earth

What if I asked you to tell me how you would create heaven on earth? Could you do it?

Let’s say you answered yes, where would you start?

Several years ago, I was contemplating this very question. Once I began to write my response, I realized it was far more challenging than I thought it would be and that it would demand a great deal more thinking on my part.

Also, my version of heaven on earth seemed to come in stages.

I’d like to share what eventually formed inside of me, in the hopes that it sparks something inside of you. What I would really love is if we could compare notes, and perhaps change our worlds together. I’ll leave that up to you.

Since mine turned out to be pretty long, I’m breaking it up into two parts, so please stay tuned for my next post as well.

Here then is my Heaven on Earth assignment (Part One):

My first thought/feeling is that you would be able to hug another person for as long as it took to feel balanced- that you could send love outward to them and receive love in from them- and all of this would be considered normal- that it would be so filling, rewarding, enlivening that everyone would want to do it- that it would not get confusing for anyone.

And

We could all say to each other, “I love you” and it would feel “right”- there wouldn’t be awkwardness or uncomfortable expectations attached- that saying it would be an extension of our hearts recognizing, appreciating, and connecting with each other.

And

We would feel free to give each other gifts- both large and small and it would happen spontaneously, from a center of love, not based only on acceptable events, but anytime- the gifts would not have to be equaled or paid back, they would feel good to receive and perhaps we could gain a sense of comfort with the concept that there will always be enough for everyone if we share from the heart.

And

We could cherish each other because we care and want to support and enrich each other’s lives, because we realize that it is just as important and necessary as when we were first born to be held and caressed and know we mean something to someone- that we would realize that touch fills our life with love, creates connection, expands our hearts, increases our immunity, focuses us outward, gives life and creates life.

And

We would know the beauty of giving from a calm, generous, loving heart- which raises up the giver as it supports the receiver, we’d know it is beautiful to be both giver and receiver, that it balances us, connects us- that we could give without thought of need of receiving, but just for the pure joy giving contains within itself- that we would grow in opening our hearts till it became our nature, our first action, our expanding from love.

And

We would see how forgiveness sets us free and invites others to do the same- we would open to know that everyone hurts, everyone lacks, everyone needs, everyone is in pain and that their unkind actions come from these lacks- from the lack of love, such that only love can fill their empty space- and forgiveness is born from love, the kind of love that recognizes the choice of sacrificing our own sense of pain to fill another with love- and surprisingly, in the process we are also healed.

There is so much more to say, so please join me for my next post.

Note: The entire Heaven On Earth assignment also appears in chapter three of my book, Little Buddha Book One, where one of the characters, Sam, is given this as an assignment to complete for his growth by Claire (Little Buddha).

This book is available in both print and
eBook versions on Amazon, along with the other books in the series.

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Feeling Loved

I wonder, did anyone ever tell you that you would be loved, no matter what?

I suspect someone may have said this out loud to you, but did it turn out to be the truth?

When you did something ‘wrong’ and were punished for it, did you feel loved or was this the beginning of your concerns about the world?

It’s only in retrospect that I’ve been able to see the truth in this for me. And it led to several other conclusions. I understood in a new way, that the world is not safe. And I came to believe that I could not fully trust others. I wanted to, but I couldn’t.

We are all creatures who observe. Not only do we hear what others say, we see what they do. We watch as they role model for us and then, we decide how to act. But I wonder, is it really a decision or is it a reaction?

If we want to feel safe and loved, aren’t we likely to act as others want or expect us to behave? That certainly feels true to me.

What also feels true to me is that I use this same reactive thinking and apply it outwardly to the rest of the world in all my relationships, the work world and everywhere I go.

My beliefs are formed around the principle of whether I feel loved. Beneath the surface I worry about whether I am meeting others’ expectations of me. Am I doing enough for them to love me?

This is what has been modeled for me.

There is no blame here. I don’t resent those who placed this expectation on me, and I don’t blame myself for accepting their expectations. Neither of us know any better. We’re just passing along what we’ve been taught, from one generation to the next.

I pause for a moment to consider.

How is this to change? What enlightenment will come into my life to show me a better way?

I know an answer, one that works for me, and I want to share it with you, in the hopes that it might work for you too.

I’ve talked a lot about it, if you’ve been reading my posts.

It is my relationship with (god). I bracket the word (god) because I want to distance us from standard definitions. To me, (god) has many forms and feels. For me, there is abba (father), na’a (mother), yeshiwa (brother), lia (sister) and essence (the foundation of all heavenly bliss),

When I invite them in, they come. They do not force their way in, ever. They wait for my invitation, then come and share their wisdom, insight, and love with me.

They are reflections of (god), each a part of the divine for me.

Yours might be different. I honor that. We all see and feel the truth in different ways. What seems important to me is that (god) is available to each of us, waiting for our decision to reach out with an invitation.

As soon as I open and ask and prepare myself to be quiet and listen, (god) appears. We now have two-way dialogues whenever I ask. Wonderful, honest, personal conversations.

It is here I know I am loved. It is here there are no expectations, conditions, or requirements. No matter what I have done or left undone, I feel loved.

Please know this relationship is yours as well, whenever you decide to choose it.

NOTE: If you’d like to know more about my relationship with (god) and how you can have your own, please feel free to read my book, talking with (god), available on Amazon in print and eBook versions.

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A Simple Act of Caring

Do you usually dream at night?

When you do, do you remember them or do they just disappear, leaving a trail that’s too hard to follow?

Sometimes I remember them, but they don’t make any sense to me. They’re so full of places, events, and people, all jumbled together.

Recently though I came across a fantastic book titled, Infinite Purpose by Liv Lane and Lori Portka. One chapter is devoted to dreams and the emphasis it focused on surprised me. Rather than attempting to decipher all the parts of an individual dream, the suggestion was to take the dream as a whole and follow the theme to see where it led.

The authors recommended that you try it for a week and see what you experience.

I decided to take their suggestion and discovered a whole new world. I was able to capture the essence of the dream and find some profound insights.

This morning I woke up and was able to remember an entire story. Many of the details remained fresh and clear, but it was the central theme that was important to me.

There was an elderly lady who was conducting a transaction, perhaps in a bank and she was extremely dissatisfied with the service and the outcome and demanded that her voice be heard. A meeting was scheduled for the next day to attempt to review her transaction and a member of senior management was called in for support.

The meeting time arrived, and all were assembled. At first the staff tried to explain, but soon discovered the elderly lady was not interested in hearing their rationales. A different tact was taken, and a more general conversation ensued. This pleased her and it soon became apparent that she had no desire to discuss the transaction from the prior day. What she did seem interested in was being heard and seen, as a person.

Toward the end of the conversation, she became very quiet and closed her eyes. Her breathing slowed, then ceased.

The staff were concerned and tried to wake her, but she did not respond. One attempted to take her pulse, but there was none. It was then that they realized she had died.

One staff member looked at her carefully and was surprised to find she’d died with an enormous smile on her face.

I’m sure there could be many interpretations for this dream, but what jumped out at me was this…everyone wants to be listened to, to be valued, to matter to someone, anyone, even if they have to be angry and demand attention to make it happen, as the elderly lady did.

All she really wanted was to be seen, heard and at a deeper level, loved.

There is a powerful message in this dream for me, one I would have previously missed.

During my working life I was involved in two ‘relationship’ fields, the first in banking and the second in human service. One thing they both centered on was recognizing the inherent value and worth of each individual. Demonstrating caring, support and encouragement meant everything to the customers and folks being served.

Simple acts of caring feed both the giver and receiver.

I try to remember this and am often granted opportunities to show caring, whether it’s reaching for a product on a high shelf for an elderly person, opening a door or looking into the eyes of someone I thank for their service. There are a million ways to connect and each one offers tangible ways to care, should we choose them.

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How It Can Be

I have to admit it. I’m sad about a lot of things happening in the world right now. I suspect you are too.

Do you wonder what can be done? Does it seem that one person’s actions are lost in the shuffle and that change is unlikely to ever happen?

I’m certainly catching that sense.

The magnitude of events feels overwhelming, and I need to find some balance. I need to catch my breath. I wonder, where am I going to go for some answers and direction?

I put myself on pause, to give myself time to consider.

My answer becomes obvious.

Inward.

Inward into my spiritual home, to a place of divine connection.

I ask, “Where has it all gone wrong and how is it ever going to change?”

The answer I receive astounds me.

“It starts at the beginning.”

I don’t know what this means, so I ask for more details.

What I receive takes four whole pages to write, more than I think you might want to read at this time. I need to summarize it, for you and for me.

I hear words that make me think about how our lives are not the same, from one person to another, from one place to another.

There are disparities in justice, opportunities, resources, and all of the basics in life. How can there be peace when this is the case?

Since we are each given free will, we are offered the choice to map our own direction, regardless of how it impacts others. So, the strong are able to take advantage of the weak, those with money and power are allowed to decide for those with little or none. Those in command are able to set up all the rules, most of which favor themselves.

My head shakes at all of this. I am only one person, what can I do about any of this?

The divine pulls me back to the present from the faraway place in my head.

“Start with you.”

“What do you mean?”, I ask.

“You cannot solve the problems of the entire world. What you can do is be your best self. You can do what you think the world ought to do. You can shift your mindset, your heart-set and your actions.”

I need to know what this really means and ask for more.

“You know the ‘answer’ is always ‘love’.”

I know I’m supposed to understand this. To know exactly what that means I ought to do, but I don’t. I find it challenging to apply the concept of love to practical things.

“You are making this too complicated. The answers you seek are always simple, even this, especially this. Ask yourself one question.”

“And what would that be?”, I respond, desperately wanting to know.

“What would serve all equally?”, was the response.

Wow, I wasn’t prepared for that.

I am struck by the idea of equality and how much of it is missing in this world. I wonder, how much of it happens because of me. And for a moment, I imagine the radical changes in the world if equality existed for everyone.

And I see within this, the heart of ‘love’, that the divine brought into focus. It makes something real that was cloudy.

Every day I can choose to use my voice, my words, my actions to speak for me. I can use my heart as my guide. I can give freely, vote for ideas that create sharing opportunities, support those who propose changes to make all lives better. And hundreds of other real, tangible ways I haven’t even thought of yet. And I can choose to encourage others to do the same.

How can it be?

Any way we all choose.

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Love As A Prayer

I admit that I have felt quite challenged about the whole nature of prayer. Perhaps you do as well.

When someone asks you to pray for them, what does that mean to you? Do you think they mean for you to request a specific outcome to occur in their life? Are you comfortable with this?

I confess, this has plagued me for a long time.

Of course, I want them to experience their best possible life. I want them to be free from painful obstacles and difficult and challenging decisions.

But how can I possibly know what the right choice is for them?

Even on my best day I do not possess enough insight for this.

It seems to me that part of our cultural training includes the idea that we can pray for someone and that our prayers will create the specific desired outcomes. And what I hear most is that when we pray to God (or the universe) the expectation is that God will listen to us and bring about the resolution of whatever problem(s) we’ve brought to God’s attention.

This approach seems to imply that there is only one ‘right’ outcome, the one the requester of the prayer wants to happen.

What if there is more to it than this? What if there is an even better answer?

There are problems with this whole approach, because should the prayer not be answered in the way requested, the requester is left wondering several things. Is my prayer not worthy of God’s attention or approval? Or perhaps, God is not listening to me. Or that God wants me to experience this difficulty, despite my prayer and the prayers of others.

It is easy to end up feeling like a victim if the specific prayer request is not answered.

Add to this the cultural phenomenon where there are two teams competing to win a game and folks praying for each side to be the victor. If you were God, how would you grant both prayers?

So, where does this leave us and what is God’s role in granting answers to prayers?

What if we looked at this from a very different point of view?

If you’ve been reading my posts for a while, you’ll know my beliefs can border on the radical, so be prepared.

Imagine that God does not take sides, nor does God have a stake in specific outcomes. Since God has given everyone free will, God does not listen to one prayer and ignore another, nor dictate particular actions and outcomes.

So, what does God do and who is God?

What has been shared with me, which is of course up to you to decide for yourself, is that God is unconditional love. And unconditional love is the purest form of energy. It gives and supports all of life. It is non-directional and non-judgmental. It is open hearted, free, and available to everyone at all times.

God, as unconditional love, lives inside each person and is always available. Its pure energy can be offered and shared with anyone at any time.

And once given to another, it combines with their energy and creates sparks to help them light their path, so that they can see more clearly.

This non-directive, non-judgmental, open hearted, unconditional love supports and encourages the receiver, giving them strength and insight to move through whatever situation they are facing. It allows their spiritual plan to unfold, no matter what challenges appear on the surface.

When I am asked now to pray for another, I pause to remember this and dive deep into my heart and offer unconditional love as my prayer.

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I Am My Dad Today

Has anyone faded away from you?

I know I am not alone. I know there are many others who share the loss I feel because someone they love is fading away from them.

Whether the reason has a name like dementia or Alzheimer’s or is nameless, whole parts of them seem to be missing and it creates a huge hole in their world. And my world too.

To watch this happen, whether bit by bit or all of a sudden and know there is nothing you can do to stop it, brings a cascade of tears.

How are we, the ones left empty and dry by their departure, to sit with this sense of loss?

I can only answer this for myself, but perhaps by sharing a part of me, there might be something valuable for you.

I write.

And through the writing, I allow my heart to bleed words onto the page.

For me, this is a way to vent the grief I feel and once it is outside of me, I can breathe again. I can let go of what I’m holding inside that rests on my chest and smothers me.

By writing, I open to wisdom and peace and let words flow through me into the open air.

Here is the poem I wrote.

I Am My Dad Today

I am my dad today.

At least that’s what my mother thinks.

She calls me by his name, her only connection to this world.

She asks me (him) where she is. I tell her but it doesn’t sink in.

She asks again.

I offer another answer and it falls into the same dark hole with everything else I say.

For a moment, I am not my father, and she asks me who I am.

I brace myself and tell her, I am your son.

A look crosses her face.

I wonder, could it be recognition?

She looks up at me and tells me she has no children.

I guess that makes my sister and me orphans. It’s certainly the way a part of me feels.

I wonder what string attaches her to this earth. I can’t see one. It must be some sort of magic.

It’s time for me to go. I tell her I need to go home to make dinner.

She asks me when she will see me again.

I try to calm myself.

I tell her that my sister, her daughter, will be with her tomorrow and that I’ll see her again the next day.

She turns away.

I walk out of her room wondering who I will be to her then. I cannot possibly know.

The one thing I do know is she will still be my mother.

I try to find some peace in this.

I love you mom.                             (end)

I know that I cannot change what is happening to her or to me, but I need to find a way to live in this new space.

I’m sure that others who have experienced this might be able to shed some light on this for me, but I want to know what god has to tell me.

So, I ask.

My answer comes from a part of god I know and love. It’s a part of god I know as Lia, which stands for Love In Action. She has a distinctly feminine voice and always speaks loving truth to me.

I try to calm myself and let go of the distractions that surround me. I breathe in and out, slowing and softening, so I can hear her voice clearly. When I find some peace, she speaks.

“The solace you seek comes when you release and accept.”

She continues, “Yes, of course, you feel deeply for the living loss of your mom, who is both here and not here. Rest easy and remember this…when she is with you, she is yours AND when she drifts beyond you, she is mine. She slips past the veil between worlds, and she comes to be with me. We sit together with the most precious love surrounding us and we rest in this beautiful state of bliss.”

I take heart and she tells me more.

“I know that all you see is a woman you love who appears to be here with you, but you cannot seem to reach her, and she seems disconnected and far, far away from you. I encourage you to see beyond this surface view. I ask you to accept my blessed assurance that she is with me and is always covered in my love.”

I sit with this revelation and let it fill me with peace. I do still feel the loss of connection with my mom, but something deeply profound has change inside of me and I now know she will always be taken care of, not by me, but by the sweetness of the divine.

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Resurrection of Love

This is a companion to my previous post, One Path to Love.

On Good Friday in 2018 I spent three hours, from noon until 3:00pm, standing, sitting, and walking around the sanctuary of Unity Church in Albany (NY) with the hope that I would be able to connect spiritually and come to a greater understanding of the events surrounding Easter.

I sensed a strength, peace and clarity and felt a ‘knowing’ arrive within me, as if I were present during that time. It felt intimate and real, and I wanted very much to capture each of the stories so that they could be shared with the world. Over the next several weeks I received the words you are about to read. But more than the words, I received the beauty, grace and Yeshiwa’s (Jesus’s) loving heart that was and is the center of each of these stories. The full text appears in my book, Nine, a Holy Week Story of Love.

I do not ask you to believe me. I ask only that you read the words and let them reveal to you what truth they have to share.

This part of the story tells of an encounter between Yeshiwa and Mary Magdalen at Yeshiwa’s burial site following his resurrection.

Chapter Eight: Resurrection (excerpt)

Yeshiwa’s narrative:

I watched from afar as the one I loved most sought after me. She approached the tomb where I had been laid, trembling with fear. Fear that I had been taken and would be lost to her forever.

She touched my burial linens, so lovingly placed upon me by Joseph after I’d been taken from the cross. She traced every impression and quietly sang a sweet song to the memory of me.

One of my angels came and spoke to her asking her, “Why do you seek the living among the dead?”

His garments shown with brilliance, and she fell back away from him. Then gathering herself, she said, “I am searching for my master. I wish to honor and anoint him. Please, if you know where he is, please tell me.”

The angel’s heart opened to her, and he said, “Fear not, for all is well. Your master has risen, as he told you he would. Go and seek, so that you may find him.”

She left, her heart quickening and her love revived. And she came and found me, and we held each other’s gaze and she said to me, “Oh beloved, I was so afraid. I remembered your words to us, yet still did not believe you would return. Please forgive my faithlessness. You know my love for you, and you know my great joy at seeing you, you the most precious gift to us all.”

“Mary,” I said, “there is no need for forgiveness. You have wronged no one, least of all, me. Come to me, heart of my heart.”

And she came and we embraced. As we parted, I gently held her face in my hands and looked into her eyes and placed the wholeness of my love deeply into her heart and because it was her greatest desire, she came fully awake.

I spoke to her, “My beloved, it is yours now, to teach as I have taught. To sow ripe seeds among the many. To guide the sheep and the shepherds. To you I have given the keys to the kingdom, that all might inherit everlasting life. Know that my love for you is eternal, remember me in each moment and in each breath.”

She gazed at me, and tears fell from her eyes and down her cheeks. “I will do as you ask. I will be mother to all and servant wherever I stand. I will feel you in each moment and remember you in each breath, you my master and beloved.”

“Go now and tell the others. Tell them I will meet them on the road. Remind them of my words and my promises and my love for them.”

She leaned back into me and softly said, “It will be done as you ask. I will tell them, and their hearts will rejoice.”

Then Mary and the others with her departed, running, that they might bring my good news to all who loved me.

—

These words show the love between Yeshiwa and Mary and the bond they shared. While channeling them, I was surrounded by their love and knew beyond any earthly knowing that this love belongs to every one of us. Freely given, offered with no expectations or demands. Ours without exception.

I hope that within these words there is something of value for you, something worth keeping for the rest of your life.

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One Path to Love

On Good Friday in 2018 I spent three hours, from noon until 3:00pm, standing, sitting, and walking around the sanctuary of Unity Church in Albany (NY) with the hope that I would be able to connect spiritually and come to a greater understanding of the events surrounding Easter.

I sensed a strength, peace and clarity and felt a ‘knowing’ arrive within me, as if I were present during that time. It felt intimate and real, and I wanted very much to capture each of the stories so that they could be shared with the world. Over the next several weeks I received the words you are about to read. But more than the words, I received the beauty, grace and Yeshiwa’s (Jesus’s) loving heart that was and is the center of each of these stories. The full text appears in my book, Nine, a Holy Week Story of Love.

I do not ask you to believe me. I ask only that you read the words and let them reveal to you what truth they have to share.

This part of the story tells of an encounter with one of Yeshiwa’s tormentors who was present during his whipping.

Chapter Six: Path (excerpt)

Yeshiwa’s narrative

And I was given over to the pain of men. To men whose hearts had long ago left them, leaving them free to release all of their harshness upon me without limit. And yet in their desire to exalt over me, they suffered as I did, with every lash and cruel word, as they brought more pain into their lives and mine. When they had exhausted all of their strength, they dropped their whips and let me lay upon the coolness of the earth.

I could feel the emptiness of their spirits and I wept tears for them, for their lost lives. One, a man named Aaron, came over to me, grabbed my hair and pulled it back, so that my face tilted up toward his. I knew he meant to mock me further, but when our eyes met, he found he could not move or speak. In that single loving moment, his heart came alive. Came back fully to him. The light that had left him was born anew and was fanned into full flame and he fell down beside me and wept until he was as dry as the desert.

He gazed at me beseechingly and said, “I am so sorry master, so very sorry. I know I deserve nothing good, for I am a most wicked man, but please, please forgive me.”

I placed my hand over his heart and looked into his eyes, holding his gaze, and said to him, “My son, you are forgiven, go in peace and show love to the world. Show them the love I have shown you.”

He bowed at my feet, continuing to cry, and said, “Thank you my lord, this I will do all the days of my life,” and he helped me to my feet and walked the path to the cross with me.

—-

The words above flowed easily through me, channeled in a way I cannot fully comprehend, yet believe without even a shadow of a doubt. Each time I read them I cry tears when Aaron’s heart is changed and becomes alive again.

What a wonderful thing, to have your heart revived, to have your life changed, to want to share what you received with others, to give away your gift.

To me, this is the radiant message here. It is the redeeming nature of love. A free gift, available to everyone who chooses it.

That is what channeled through me and stays with me. I hope there is something here for you too.