Category: obstacles

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Nothing For Granted

I’ve been thinking about how often I seem to take things for granted. Maybe this happens to you too.

I began wondering why. Could it be that my mind is just too busy with other things or is there something deeper going on?

There was a somewhat melancholy feeling running through me and words started flowing onto a page in my journal. I thought I’d share them with you, so that maybe together we could remind ourselves to take nothing for granted.

Nothing For Granted

Life is precious,

Sometimes staying in one place,

Sometimes leaping head.

I want to remember it all.

I wonder to myself about things,

About moments I experience,

What if this were my last hug,

The last spoke word I’ll ever hear,

What if this were my last sunset,

Last long soothing shower I’ll ever have,

Last delicious meal I’ll eat,

Or song I’ll hear,

Or walk I’ll take,

What if it’s the last firefly I’ll see light up

On a hot summer night,

Last starlit sky,

Last new spring green explosion of leaves I’ll see,

Or the last brilliant colorful autumn extravaganza,

What if it’s the last time I’ll feel the warmth of a cozy blanket,

Or the sunshine on my face,

What if this was the last time I’ll feel my wife’s lips against mine,

Would it change what it means to me

To be alive,

Would I treasure it,

Savor it,

Breath into it.

Would I try to hold onto it for dear life.

I wonder,

What do I want my life to be like.

So,

I sit with all of this

And let it wash over me

And I know what I want,

I want everything

To mean something to me,

Every sting,

Every fall and rise,

Every illusive dream,

Hurt, hope, every breath,

Every face and heart connection,

I want the whole collection of life,

Because it all matters.

And what I want most

Is to feel alive

And connected

And

I want to take nothing for granted,

Ever

I am curious what things you’d put on your list. Maybe you are too.

Be well.

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Sacred Timing

I’m going to admit something right up front…I’m frustrated with an issue I think ought to be going a certain way and isn’t.

Does this happen to you? Maybe a little? Maybe a lot?

Whenever I’m faced with this kind of situation, I know I need to dig deeper and I sense a need to explore, even if I don’t have any idea which direction to move.

This same kind of experience has happened many times in my life. Certainly, enough times for me to recognize the telltale signs.

Maybe you face the same thing and maybe it’s difficult for you to make any headway too. If so, here’s a few thoughts that might assist you or provide some clarity.

The first thing to show up is an increasing sense of annoyance and frustration at not being able to make sense of something or fit it together properly. It’s rapidly followed by a realization that I feel blocked by some inconvenient, inexplicable obstacle in my way. Regardless of logic, reason, or any amount of brainstorming, I cannot uncover any solution.

It’s a terrible feeling for someone who likes order (like me).

Right at the moment there is a small spark igniting inside me providing a tiny amount of light, just enough for me to see. Just enough for me to believe there is an answer somewhere if I only look in the correct place.

But where is the right place? When you are faced with your own situations where answers are out of reach, where do you look?

A little light bulb goes off and I hear a small voice inside me saying, “You’re not finding the solution because it’s not time yet.”

What does that mean? Is there really a right and wrong time for any of us to experience something? Is there such a thing as “sacred timing”?

I want to know the answer, so I say to my small voice, “I don’t understand why. I sense you are telling me the truth, but I need to know more. I’m not good with mysteries like this. Can you please give me a little direction here?”

There is silence and I know I’ll benefit from calming myself down and preparing to listen carefully. I quiet my breathing and wait.

I believe ALL answers are open and available to me, but that doesn’t mean they will appear according to my perceived or expected timetable.

“There is sacred timing with all things,” the voice tells me. “When no solution appears, despite your best attempts, that’s a clue for you that you are not ready for the answer.”

I resist wanting to hear this and ask, “Not ready according to who?” I realize my response is a little edgy, but I can’t help it. Okay, I don’t choose to help it (which is different).

The voice takes no offense at my tone and offers me sweetness in return. “Not ready according to you”, it says, followed by “who else?”

This change of direction unbalances me, so I ask, “Am I to believe that I am blocking my own way forward and that I am manufacturing my own obstacles?”

“Yes. Sit back and let that sink in.”

I sit back and try to loosen my defensiveness and release my narrow thinking. I truly want to know what’s happening and somehow this change in my attitude opens a door. It swings away from me revealing something I had not expected.

What I originally wanted would have focused me on a priority that does not serve me. By that I mean, I might have achieved an intellectual goal, but I would have missed my true spiritual aim. By delaying, I offered myself time to see clearly what is most important to me.

The voice speaks softly to me, “You see now what I’m saying, that inside you there is a true voice that always offers you your best, most beautiful life. And it does this in accordance with sacred timing. You can always trust in this. Should you forget upon occasion, let a spark light your way and remember this conversation.”

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Removing Obstacles

Here’s a bold statement.

Everything I experience in my life means something and there is always a message there for me. I firmly believe this is true for me and I also believe it is true for you.

Here’s how it comes about. I’ll take ‘obstacles’ as my example.

I find that sometimes if I’m not feeling well, I don’t always want to get better right away, because then I won’t hear the message. I’ve discovered there is value in being patient, waiting, and listening. Then when I hear or feel something, it’s wise for me to encourage it to surface and come fully to my attention.

At one time in my life, I didn’t feel it was safe to breathe. Partly this was due to COVID and its respiratory implications, but not solely. There were other reasons why I was concerned about breathing. I felt like I needed a filter, something that would prevent irritants and pollutants from entering into me.

Although initially I was safety conscious about external things getting through my defenses, I soon realized that the internal things within me could be every bit as harmful. I also sensed that many things I feared were not real, they only felt real. The distinction however escaped me.

As I thought more about this, some specific fears surfaced. One of these was the fear of rejection. The belief that others would not be interested in anything I had to say, nor would they read what I had written. I felt strongly motivated to prevent this from happening, and recognized two detrimental aspects were involved.

I felt I was a prisoner because I thought I needed others attention. When this is your frame of reference, you never feel safe. A companion realization was that I had no control over what others thought, said, or did. No matter how attractive, insightful, or funny a thing was that I created, it might not catch others attention.

It’s easy to see how this is a recipe for an internal disaster. How is it that I sense rejection without knowing if it’s even present? This is what fear does to me though. It pushes me toward extremes and doesn’t want me to sit back or pause or consider. Fear likes it when I’m reactive.

Taking even one moment away from fear and asking the question, why do I need others to accept me or what I say or write? When I give myself this opportunity, there is space to breathe and embrace new directions. I can give myself a moment to ask, why is what I am doing important to me? What am I really after?

Because I paused, my answer is clear to me. I want to live from a heart of joy. One of the critically important steps for me to realize is that having to work my way through the obstacle of fear of rejection is a giant step along my path.

Without releasing this fear there would be no way forward. I see that it sat in my way, not as an obstacle, but as a signpost, guiding me to a better destination.

In this way my fear of rejection was an integral part of my path to living a joy-filled, joy-full life. And it can be for you too. You may need to substitute your own obstacle in place of my fear of rejection, but each and every obstacle is guiding us to our ultimate aim(s) in life.

Rather than resisting or turning back, when you meet your next obstacle, recognize that you have a choice. You can choose to see them as signposts telling you that they are not the way forward. You can shift and find what does work for you, what feels ‘right’ to you and what brings you joy or whatever you desire to reveal in your life.

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Completion

A while ago I mentioned to you that I had chosen a task which would significantly challenge me. My son, Tommy, had told me about something called a Misogi.

Research informed me that it is an ancient Japanese Shinto practice where monks and their student would embark on a long journey high up into the mountains in search of a waterfall. The students, wearing thin short robes, would stand under the cold streaming water performing a ritual intended to purify their bodies and their minds.

An updated version is practiced by folks desiring to challenge and perhaps in some way, purify themselves. Those interested must choose something which they believe has a fifty percent or better chance of failure, and which will not harm themself or others.

I spent a bit of time wondering about this. It felt necessary. Important. Vital to me, especially because I wanted to perform it prior to my birthday.

I cast about for a difficult task and chose to walk from one end to the other and back on a Rail Trail close to my home. I speculated the distance would be somewhere between 18 and 19 miles.

The longest distance I’d ever walked in my life was a little over 16 miles and that was many years ago when I was in far better physical shape. Nothing much hurt in my body and I felt relatively fit.

I wondered, was it even possible for me to complete this journey?

Despite understanding how challenging it would be, I knew deep inside me that it was important. I could not have told you why, I just knew.

And so, I began to figure things out. I’d need to go on some ‘practice walks’, distances that would offer me a sense of what I might experience on my Misogi and prepare my body and my mind.

My first long walk was a little over 8 miles and my second just shy of 10 miles. Each of them provided keen insights I felt would ultimately benefit me.

Tommy asked if he could join me, which I immediately jumped at, knowing the shared experience would last a lifetime.

Today is my 71st birthday and I wanted to let you know that we completed the full distance (19.5 miles) last Saturday, August 19, 2023.

The significance of this adventure is still dawning on me.

We had a wonderful time catching up and sharing our lives, further bonding us. I am so grateful that we could do this together and know it would have been so much more difficult had I done this solo. We compared notes about our physical aches and pains and often checked our mileage to the finish line. When we made it, we celebrated with orange bubble gum cigars.

During the days that followed, I wondered whether there was anything in my life that was purified? Were some ‘contaminants’ removed? Did I feel cleansed in some way?

What was the purpose of my Misogi? Did I prove something to myself? Would I do it again?

If you thought about it, what Misogi would you choose for yourself? How demanding would it be? Can you tolerate the thought of failure? Are you driven by the allure of success?

In the end, I believe I wanted to test my sense of resolve. Could I, would I complete my chosen task, or would I give in? This task became less about success or failure and more about connecting to my inner strength. A strength that could overcome obstacles and challenges, regardless of the difficulties.

I freely admit I hit a physical pain wall at about 14 miles, and there was a moment of temptation to stop and give up. But something inside me refused to seriously consider the idea. I tapped into a reserve. I willed my body to continue moving for the next 5.5 miles, one stride at a time, knowing I could do it.

I think this is why I did this. To prove to myself that I could if I willed it.

I hope you can tap into your own inner reserve and accomplish whatever you set out to achieve in your life.