Category: poetry

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Nothing For Granted

I’ve been thinking about how often I seem to take things for granted. Maybe this happens to you too.

I began wondering why. Could it be that my mind is just too busy with other things or is there something deeper going on?

There was a somewhat melancholy feeling running through me and words started flowing onto a page in my journal. I thought I’d share them with you, so that maybe together we could remind ourselves to take nothing for granted.

Nothing For Granted

Life is precious,

Sometimes staying in one place,

Sometimes leaping head.

I want to remember it all.

I wonder to myself about things,

About moments I experience,

What if this were my last hug,

The last spoke word I’ll ever hear,

What if this were my last sunset,

Last long soothing shower I’ll ever have,

Last delicious meal I’ll eat,

Or song I’ll hear,

Or walk I’ll take,

What if it’s the last firefly I’ll see light up

On a hot summer night,

Last starlit sky,

Last new spring green explosion of leaves I’ll see,

Or the last brilliant colorful autumn extravaganza,

What if it’s the last time I’ll feel the warmth of a cozy blanket,

Or the sunshine on my face,

What if this was the last time I’ll feel my wife’s lips against mine,

Would it change what it means to me

To be alive,

Would I treasure it,

Savor it,

Breath into it.

Would I try to hold onto it for dear life.

I wonder,

What do I want my life to be like.

So,

I sit with all of this

And let it wash over me

And I know what I want,

I want everything

To mean something to me,

Every sting,

Every fall and rise,

Every illusive dream,

Hurt, hope, every breath,

Every face and heart connection,

I want the whole collection of life,

Because it all matters.

And what I want most

Is to feel alive

And connected

And

I want to take nothing for granted,

Ever

I am curious what things you’d put on your list. Maybe you are too.

Be well.

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What Can You Hear

Welcome to my first post for 2024. It’s wonderful to have you here with me. I’m constantly surprised and delighted that I am still writing and connecting with you. Back in October 2020 when I began, I had no idea how this would go. I wasn’t even certain that I would be able to manage technologically to maintain my website and process posts for you to see.

So, thank you for being here and for the comments you’ve passed along to me. It really means a lot that you take the time to let me know you’re out there.

During the three plus years I’ve allowed myself to tell you my truth and to share my story, realizing that it was possible that only some of you would remain interested, because it’s not an ordinary story.

But are any of our stories ordinary? Is yours?

I strongly tend to doubt it. We all live such fantastic lives no matter how common they seem at times. When we choose to open ourselves and let our divine essence run free, to explore and experiment, to offer honesty and light to each other, all of our worlds expand.

It took me a lot of years to let go of being small and hiding my light from all but a few. For me, it became necessary to release, to let go of everything that was holding me back.

I wonder, do you ever feel this way? Do you sense an absolute joy deep inside you, but are reluctant to bring it out in the open?

Does that feel too threatening somehow? Too intense? To revealing?

That is actually a large part of why I write these posts. I want to encourage you to step into your own magical, mystical, brilliant light. I know it’s there inside of you waiting. Waiting for you to decide what’s to be gained or lost.

I want to know what you can hear if you listen closely to your heart.

I had to know, no matter what the potential cost would be to me. I had to know for sure. And so, I wrote and wrote and wrote some more, until all of the fluff was gone. Until I was deep enough for the truth to come out, the honesty.

Maybe you need an example, a possible route to follow. When I gave myself permission to reveal my true feelings, this is what happened. I came into contact with god. We spoke to each other. This time it was a male voice. Without having to ask, I knew the voice was also a part of me, not separate, but the same.

I offer this conversation as one way you could begin. There are so many ways, enough so that anyone can find their own depth, their own center and balance.

I wonder what you hear

When you lean in close

Is it the sound of a sweet voice

Can you feel he loves you

Are you filled with hurting

Do you overflow with pain

Do you want to be close

Taken under his wing

Do you dream of belonging

Do you have hope for the future

Has the world often crushed you

Has it broken your heart

Do you need some salvation

Have you trusted the wrong ones

Have you hit lots of dead ends

Is your faith in the dust

Time to know something new

Time to let go this life

Time to open in all ways

To see his beautiful face

Nothing required

And nothing demanded

Just say one word

Just open the door

He is always waiting

He walks beside you

His hand is wide open

To take yours and mine

The dream is for real life

To spend it connected

To love every other

As much as we can

May your pathway become clear, and your truth be revealed. Without needing to know you directly, I can tell you, I love you.

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What Are You Looking For

Do you suppose that everyone is looking for something? Some extra portion of life? Some new spice, experience, dimension, or transition?

Are you?

If you are, do you know where to look?

This seems like a simple question, but it’s more than that. It’s the essential question. We have so many places and directions we can move, but how do we know for sure which will lead us toward what we want?

As you’ve observed by now if you’ve been with me for a while, asking questions is one of the main ways that helps me plot my course through life. Without questions, I wander, moving about aimlessly. I need focus and questions create pathways for me.

So, if you are willing, I’m going to take you on one of my journeys. In this case, it’s a somewhat poetic journey which starts with an important question. Because none of us is more important than another, sometimes it seems we don’t feel we can share what feels true to us.

I am taking a step. A step beyond my comfort level and placing words on a page, with the idea in mind that they may offer you something of value.

Who am I to speak to you?

And yet, who do I have to be?

Who do any of us have to be?

We all know a part of the whole.

I am wondering…

What do we look for in each other?

To be someone to help fill us up,

Someone to hear us,

To know why our heart beats?

Someone to touch our soul,

Someone to stand next to,

Or lean up against,

To help weather life’s storms?

Someone to remind us about love,

About why we’re here,

To ask us about our dreams,

To lead us forward,

And to catch us when we fall?

Someone to remind us that we are family,

That we’ve chosen each other,

To support, to suggest,

To increase our range and

Help us see beyond ourselves?

And someone to help us know love

Through both human and divine touch.

To me, what each of us may be looking for is found both inside of us and inside of others. When we connect, we’re bigger, brighter, bolder than we are alone. We need each other. We want each other.

Solely looking outside doesn’t work for me. Neither does looking only on my inside. I need both. I need insight and reflection.

How about you?

What do you need and where are you looking?

After years of searching, I settled back, relaxed my mind and heart, and waited for an answer. A divine connection appeared, and a voice spoke.

“You can look wherever you like, but there is one sure, true path.”

“Tell me please,” I asked, “what is this path?”

“Always choose love. Open your heart and offer love, to yourself and to all others. From here you will find all that you seek.”

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Making A Difference

I wanted to share some thoughts about making a difference. It could be in someone else’s life, but the one that really, truly matters, is making a difference in your own life.

To me the reason for that seems to be because once you find the inner strength to make shifts in your own life, it automatically changes the way you approach life…and everyone you come into contact with benefits from this.

I’m not saying this is easy. I know it’s not, but when you see value and worth in shifting some of your beliefs, everything can change for you in a good way. There might be some discomfort as you adjust, but life can be so much better than we imagine it.

My offering comes by way of a poem I wrote many years ago.

Imagine you had a chance

To make a difference in someone’s life

Would you take it?

(or) would you stand back

At a Distance

And ask yourself questions?

What would you need to know?

Would it matter what they were like?

(or) what they believed in?

If they were nice to their friends?

If they were mean to their enemies?

Would it matter

If they paid you

With money or

With kind words?

Would your eyes ask any questions?

Would your heart move you forward

Or hold you back?

Would you question your skill?

(or) wonder about your motives?

Would you ask yourself

If you were

Good enough?

Or do you know

That you already are?

Do you know how precious,

How priceless you are?

How every good thing is within you already?

How we are meant to be connected

To everyone else

With no lines,

No fences

And no hesitation

We are all a part of the same dream,

The same human form

The same essential heart

Imagine

You gave yourself

The chance to make a difference

In someone’s life

Imagine

That you realize

You always can.

A hope of mine is that you choose to shift and open to a wider world, one where you offer yourself a chance to make a difference in your own life and the lives of others. Bon voyage.

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I Am My Dad Today

Has anyone faded away from you?

I know I am not alone. I know there are many others who share the loss I feel because someone they love is fading away from them.

Whether the reason has a name like dementia or Alzheimer’s or is nameless, whole parts of them seem to be missing and it creates a huge hole in their world. And my world too.

To watch this happen, whether bit by bit or all of a sudden and know there is nothing you can do to stop it, brings a cascade of tears.

How are we, the ones left empty and dry by their departure, to sit with this sense of loss?

I can only answer this for myself, but perhaps by sharing a part of me, there might be something valuable for you.

I write.

And through the writing, I allow my heart to bleed words onto the page.

For me, this is a way to vent the grief I feel and once it is outside of me, I can breathe again. I can let go of what I’m holding inside that rests on my chest and smothers me.

By writing, I open to wisdom and peace and let words flow through me into the open air.

Here is the poem I wrote.

I Am My Dad Today

I am my dad today.

At least that’s what my mother thinks.

She calls me by his name, her only connection to this world.

She asks me (him) where she is. I tell her but it doesn’t sink in.

She asks again.

I offer another answer and it falls into the same dark hole with everything else I say.

For a moment, I am not my father, and she asks me who I am.

I brace myself and tell her, I am your son.

A look crosses her face.

I wonder, could it be recognition?

She looks up at me and tells me she has no children.

I guess that makes my sister and me orphans. It’s certainly the way a part of me feels.

I wonder what string attaches her to this earth. I can’t see one. It must be some sort of magic.

It’s time for me to go. I tell her I need to go home to make dinner.

She asks me when she will see me again.

I try to calm myself.

I tell her that my sister, her daughter, will be with her tomorrow and that I’ll see her again the next day.

She turns away.

I walk out of her room wondering who I will be to her then. I cannot possibly know.

The one thing I do know is she will still be my mother.

I try to find some peace in this.

I love you mom.                             (end)

I know that I cannot change what is happening to her or to me, but I need to find a way to live in this new space.

I’m sure that others who have experienced this might be able to shed some light on this for me, but I want to know what god has to tell me.

So, I ask.

My answer comes from a part of god I know and love. It’s a part of god I know as Lia, which stands for Love In Action. She has a distinctly feminine voice and always speaks loving truth to me.

I try to calm myself and let go of the distractions that surround me. I breathe in and out, slowing and softening, so I can hear her voice clearly. When I find some peace, she speaks.

“The solace you seek comes when you release and accept.”

She continues, “Yes, of course, you feel deeply for the living loss of your mom, who is both here and not here. Rest easy and remember this…when she is with you, she is yours AND when she drifts beyond you, she is mine. She slips past the veil between worlds, and she comes to be with me. We sit together with the most precious love surrounding us and we rest in this beautiful state of bliss.”

I take heart and she tells me more.

“I know that all you see is a woman you love who appears to be here with you, but you cannot seem to reach her, and she seems disconnected and far, far away from you. I encourage you to see beyond this surface view. I ask you to accept my blessed assurance that she is with me and is always covered in my love.”

I sit with this revelation and let it fill me with peace. I do still feel the loss of connection with my mom, but something deeply profound has change inside of me and I now know she will always be taken care of, not by me, but by the sweetness of the divine.