Category: thought provoking

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Nothing For Granted

I’ve been thinking about how often I seem to take things for granted. Maybe this happens to you too.

I began wondering why. Could it be that my mind is just too busy with other things or is there something deeper going on?

There was a somewhat melancholy feeling running through me and words started flowing onto a page in my journal. I thought I’d share them with you, so that maybe together we could remind ourselves to take nothing for granted.

Nothing For Granted

Life is precious,

Sometimes staying in one place,

Sometimes leaping head.

I want to remember it all.

I wonder to myself about things,

About moments I experience,

What if this were my last hug,

The last spoke word I’ll ever hear,

What if this were my last sunset,

Last long soothing shower I’ll ever have,

Last delicious meal I’ll eat,

Or song I’ll hear,

Or walk I’ll take,

What if it’s the last firefly I’ll see light up

On a hot summer night,

Last starlit sky,

Last new spring green explosion of leaves I’ll see,

Or the last brilliant colorful autumn extravaganza,

What if it’s the last time I’ll feel the warmth of a cozy blanket,

Or the sunshine on my face,

What if this was the last time I’ll feel my wife’s lips against mine,

Would it change what it means to me

To be alive,

Would I treasure it,

Savor it,

Breath into it.

Would I try to hold onto it for dear life.

I wonder,

What do I want my life to be like.

So,

I sit with all of this

And let it wash over me

And I know what I want,

I want everything

To mean something to me,

Every sting,

Every fall and rise,

Every illusive dream,

Hurt, hope, every breath,

Every face and heart connection,

I want the whole collection of life,

Because it all matters.

And what I want most

Is to feel alive

And connected

And

I want to take nothing for granted,

Ever

I am curious what things you’d put on your list. Maybe you are too.

Be well.

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Take Aways

Are you someone who likes a challenge? Are you someone who invests themselves deeply in life and reaches for meaning in every experience? If you are, I have something for you to try.

It’s the modern-day version of an ancient Shinto practice called, Misogi. The idea is to choose a physical challenge that has less than a 50% chance of success and does not hurt you or anyone else (obviously trying to distance this experience from the extreme sports world).

Last year, my son, Tommy, and I decided to walk a nearby rail trail from one end to the other and back again. The distance turned out to be 19.5 miles, which is farther than I’d ever walked before in one stretch, and that was many years ago. It took us eight hours and included a long downhill grade of about 2 miles and consequently the same uphill grade. For a reference, I should mention that I was 70 years old at the time and had several physical limitations.

This year we decided to swim the circumference of Mirror Lake, a small body of water that lies just behind the Main Street in downtown Lake Placid. We estimated the distance as between 2.2-2.7 miles.

The farthest I’d ever swam was perhaps 1.0 mile and I took a big break in the middle.

My plan was to train over a period of 8-10 weeks, increasing my distance to at least 1 mile comfortably. That plan was scrapped due to a significant knee issue requiring a cortisone shot and a challenging right shoulder problem. For many weeks I wondered if I would even be able to participate.

But that’s a part of the process, recognizing that things are not going to be ideal. Life simply does not line up to make all things easy for us. In fact, I’ve come to believe, that at least in part, the challenges we overcome offer far greater meaning to us than a simple easy pathway would.

Beyond getting ready physically there is a major mental component to the preparation. I spent several weeks questioning myself. I wanted to know why this was so important to me. Why did I need to challenge myself and what did I have to prove?

Interestingly, this prompted some major inner dialogues.

If you haven’t been reading my posts this may come as a shock to you, but I have conversations with (god) all the time. The voice of (god) often changes but the essence remains the same. In this particular case, it was a feminine voice, and she suggested I call her, Misogi.

After expressing some of my issues surrounding this whole challenge, I became quiet enough to listen to her.

She explained to me that the challenge of a Misogi has absolutely nothing to do with the beginning or destination, and everything to do with the journey. She counseled me to pay attention during the swim to what was happening inside of me. There would be observations and revelations waiting for me, she promised.

She was right.

I wrote some of them down to share with you. I did this so that you could see there is depth here. And there will be depth for you, as you contemplate your own versions of a Misogi. I believe we learn from each other, then go off and create and experience our own beautiful lives. We are steppingstones for each other.

One- doing this with my son swimming by my side was fantastic. Sharing a vision and a practice with someone important to you always makes any experience grander and more valuable.

Two- being in the water for five hours felt immersive, like we were a part of nature, an intimate participant and observer and it allowed us to swim within twenty feet of a beautiful loon gliding across the surface of the lake.

Three- the scenic splendor of the high peaks was awesome, especially the clear unobstructed views we had from the water.

Four- finding out what we were capable of, surmounting obstacles, and maintaining focus and purpose despite painful leg cramps (even my leg cramps had leg cramps there were so many).

Five- although I’d reduced my emphasis on completing the full distance, I recognized that I still wanted to succeed and pushed myself over my limits to see what doing so would feel like. It was so worth the effort. We completed the full 2.2 miles in five hours. No one’s record pace, but we had done what we set out to do, and there was, in fact, some real sweetness to that.

I personally don’t think it matters what you choose as your Misogi. What does matter is that you choose something that feels important to you. An if you do decide to choose a Misogi of your own, I hope you find values and benefits awaiting you during your journey.

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What If Today…

I want to share something that I wrote for a dear friend of mine recently. It was intended to provide a spark to ignite a different way of viewing life. It was something that I needed. As with all of my posts, the thoughts and words arrive for me and then moved outward into the world.

The post is a dream in a way. Of a richer life. And of course, as it is in all cases, it depends on what we choose. I wonder to myself what will I choose, I wonder too, what will you choose?

What if today…

What if today…I choose to believe…to truly accept and embrace…that every single thing that happens to me is here to benefit me. What if I choose to see beyond appearances and all of the things that blind me. What if I give myself permission to believe that I am loved and cared for and know that everything I experience in my life is there to offer me something of value. That no matter what the world tells me, I can choose my own path. What if I embrace that my heart and spirit are the ones that set me free.

What if today I release any need to control the uncontrollable. What if I spruce up my ability to yield and let go of all the things that weigh me down…to set them aside and feel the precious liberation and the expansive freedom that choice creates.

What if today I collect all the most lovable parts of me and hug them and ask them to spread their joy throughout my body…my life.

What if today I allow every sorrow, pain, challenge, and concern to take the day off…to rest…what if I placed them all gently in the ocean of bliss that is my true home, where they can be washed clean.

What if, for one day, I give up needing to be in charge of anything and allow life to flow gently through me.

What if today…I breathe in peace and breathe out love.

What if today…is that day.

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Pumping Iron

When the idea first came to me, I thought it would be a clever way to have two disparate topics joined into one, because there are striking similarities.

I have discovered over time that clever titles don’t usually work, so I opted for what you see above.

When I go to the gym, I have lots of choices; free weights, machines, walking the indoor track, swim, sauna, hot tub, classes and more. Each one of these options offer me a workout designed to target specific body development.

According to physical trainers there are two basic ways to make improvements, for example with free weights, you can increase the number of repetitions or increase the amount of weight.

Each method allows for improvements and generally the choice you make ends up with the same outcome.

From what they told me, there are no short cuts. It’s as simple as that. You must do the work if you want the payoff.

It seems as though most people who are there at the gym understand this concept. They seem very committed, and their bodies tell the tale. Not everyone of course. There are those, like me, who are a ‘work in progress’. We’re there to challenge ourselves and see if we can accomplish the sometimes-unlikely goal of being in better shape.

For me, I need to know, or at least sense that the work I put in is going to pay off. So, I try to do my free weight routine and gradually increase the number of repetitions, in an attempt to increase my body’s ability to perform. My watch word is ‘gradually’.

One of my favorite things to do is to see if one part of my life connects to another, even if at first the idea seems preposterous.

Enter…pumping emotional iron.

Emotions can be quite unruly. They can jump up at any time and sabotage my day. This may happen to you too.

I find that sometimes I’m going along nicely with my life and BAM, I encounter an emotional response to something, and I veer off course. It’s generally not a pleasant experience and I don’t enjoy the shock or surprise when it happens.

But here’s the thing.

If I pay careful attention and consciously stop when my emotional response hits, I can name it. Once named I can sit with it and decide if it is truly how I want to respond. If it isn’t, I can consider my options and make a better choice.

Here’s where the parallel comes in for me.

Consciously making a choice is my first repetition. If and when the situation repeats, that becomes my opportunity to increase the number of repetitions. The more I consistently choose the better decision, the stronger I become.

I’ve tried this method, and it works for me. I’ve even substituted different emotions and situations and find that it still works.

I offer this as one possible way to gain some freedom from having emotions control us and hope it provides you with an idea that could enhance your life.

Remember, there are no short cuts…you have to do the work to get the payoff.

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I Know Who I Am

I want to share this with you. It’s sort of a poetic approach to releasing strong feelings that kept circling inside of me. I am grateful that I accepted this style of outlet and invite you to come along on a part of my journey. It may even stimulate you to walk a different path of your own.

This is called…I Know Who I Am…

I admit it…I feel some rage inside of me

From an early age…I knew I was not a number…or a letter…no matter what society…or schools said

And I refuse to be defined…in this way

Defined by a social security number or bank account balance

Or my GPA or retirement fund or my house’s worth

The part of me that has value…is far beyond any number or letter

Beyond my car’s trade in amount or my weight or my pledge at church

I am more than my…driver’s license number or the calories I eat or the number of friends I have…or any number or letter that attempts to limit me or contain me or define me

Ever since my beginning…others have chosen to judge me or control me or place me in a box…to identify me

I didn’t know any better…so I let them

I abided by their rules…submitted to their concepts…lived according to their choices

That’s where all of my rage comes from…from a deep place where conformity is required

Where the grades were assigned to me…limiting my growth and expansion

I’ve always carried an inner knowing that these attempts would ultimately fail

That I would break free…somehow…some way…some day

Because I am not only…earth’s child…I am heaven’s child too

Inside of me there exists…limitless possibilities…endless potential…and dreams wanting to be experienced

It’s up to me what I choose to believe…no one else gets a say…even if they think they do

I am a part of the divine…endowed with treasure…born into this world…open for exploration

I am not limited by other’s choices

I am not their number

I am my own heart and spirit

Looking inside…I find a place of peace…where rage’s fire is quenched

I can give back what others have placed upon me

They can keep it if they want it…but I can have my own peace

I can embrace…the truth of who I am…for I am a drop of the ocean of bliss that is heaven

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Tipping Point

Are you on your right path?

It’s a really important question and one I’ve been asking myself, especially recently.

I just returned from six weeks of vacation and have been struck by how wonderful it felt to have so few obligations or commitments.

It made me quite sensitive to my inner feelings and I discovered a strong desire to reevaluate my choices.

I sensed a depth to these feelings that surprised me, and I noticed a need to change some of my actions. I felt I could no longer continue doing things because it was my pattern of behavior. Rather, I needed to feel that what I chose to do was a part of my right path.

In many ways this felt intimidating to me, and I felt shaken out of my normal routines.

Have you ever experienced this? Have you experienced that out of seemingly nowhere you’re guided to reconsider your thoughts and actions?

I felt a strong realignment surging through me, but initially I did not understand what it meant or how it would change me.

I had to release my ‘need’ to understand and just sit with my feeling until I arrived at a point of knowing.

This is a very uncomfortable thing to do and very disorienting.

However, I find life shifts like this to be accompanied by bright light around the edges, offering hope in the distance.

A picture did finally appear and a fuller understanding of what all of this means. If you are experiencing this, or you have in the past, or if you do in the future, please consider being open to sitting with your feelings until the light appears. I believe it arrives to expand our lives or to clarify them in beautiful ways.

For me, I realized the sense of oppression I placed upon myself by requiring certain actions in my life. I’ve always lived with the habit of having to expand and broaden myself. This is not a ‘bad’ thing unless it reaches a tipping point. That’s the fine line between where an action, thought, dream, desire, or practice shifts from sunshine to darkness.

Perhaps you’ve experienced where there is a shift that occurs between owning a thing to being owned by a thing. For instance, you think you are enjoying living in your house then everything seems to go wrong all at once and you find yourself feeling owned by your home.

It’s not just homes that have this power. Everything does, depending on your outlook and choices.

I discovered that I made a number of decisions which have created tipping points. One of these is demanding and requiring myself to write two posts EVERY week. What began as a joyful expression shifted into writing constantly under a deadline, sapping some of the joy from the experience.

Please understand this has not impacted my desire to be of service by sharing what feels important to me to pass along.

What it has done is to make me consciously aware that I need to write when I am inspired, rather than according to a strictly keep schedule.

Realizing this has opened an important part of me and has offered a sense of peace and freedom.  I realize that adhering to my designed schedule is a source of discomfort that I’ve been feeling and has resulted in a hesitancy to make any changes in my life pattern, even though it’s the right move for me.

So, what does all of this mean?

It means I choose to continue writing posts because I love to be able to express my feelings and thoughts, but…I’ll be writing them when I feel inspired, rather than according to my originally scheduled twice a week pattern. They will come when their time is right.

I hope you will stay tuned and continue reading them as they appear.

I hope even more that you make decisions in your life which are true for you and keep you on your right path.

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Staying In Your Own Lane

While away on a break from writing original posts I thought I’d share some of my favorites with you from the past three and a half years. In mid-March I’ll return with more original posts. Until then, please enjoy these.

It’s interesting to me how various phrases come into our working vocabulary. One I’ve recently heard is the phrase, ‘stay in your own lane’, by which the person generally means, mind your own business, and stop interfering in mine.

There can be especially troublesome moments, at work and in other settings, when someone who has an insufficient knowledge or ability to handle things, attempts to interject themselves in tasks that are not assigned to them. Although it’s difficult to redirect these folks, it’s often necessary in order to inform them that you have things covered and it’s your job, not theirs.

Overstepping is particularly challenging when the person refuses to stop, either by their intentional or unintentional actions and it may require supervisory intervention.

Why all this focus on ‘staying in your own lane’?

The answer is, because I’ve been having conversations with Lia, an ethereal feminine voice of god who has been offering me wisdom and guidance about this very subject, but from an entirely different direction.

How so, you may ask?

It all started with a conversation about the challenges I felt about being able to stay connected to the divine. What I want most in my life is to feel a direct, unwavering, deep connection with the divine, so that the whole of my life revolves around it.

What I discover on a daily basis is that there are numerous distractions that push or force or entice me away from this straight line. There are so many of them that I easily get caught up in them and lose my focus. Although I tell myself that they are worth my attention, what really happens is that they sap my strength and dissipate my power, which makes it difficult and near impossible to maintain my true aim, union with the divine.

I cannot stay in my own desired lane.

No outside force is doing this to me. They may try, but because I have free will, whatever happens is either because I allow it, or I choose it.

Of course, I turned to Lia and asked for her guidance. Here is what she told me.

“Until you practice ‘staying in your own lane’ (in my case, paying attention to my most important aim of deeply connecting with the divine), you think it is not possible, but as you practice, you see that it is possible. When a distraction arrives (anything I initially perceive as not heading me toward the divine), the first and most essential step is to take notice of its arrival. Spend a moment truly seeing it for what it is, an opportunity to teach you something valuable. Allow it to offer you its insight, thank it, then move back into your lane.”

I wondered if there was more. There was.

Lia continued, “Distractions are not permanent, but rather temporary events, guideposts to help redirect you with a greater awareness, and improve your focus.”

That made sense to me, especially if after some practice, it became a relatively quick process for me. If I could make the choice to acknowledge them, see their value and release them, I would easily be able to return to my straight path and then stay in my lane.

I expressed a deep sense of gratitude to Lia for sharing these valuable insights with me and I hope they are of worth to you as well.

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Closets

While away on a break from writing original posts I thought I’d share some of my favorites with you from the past three and a half years. In mid-March I’ll return with more original posts. Until then, please enjoy these.

I believe this is the first post that I have written that forced itself out of me. The topic kept coming back and despite the fact that I resisted it, it would not be denied.

Why? What was I trying to avoid? I wasn’t sure but I knew I had to explore it.

Have there been times in your life when you knew something important was about to happen, but there was an element of concern in your mind? Maybe I ought to be clearer, I don’t mean ‘concern’, but straight up ‘fear’.

That’s the sense I had when the topic, ‘closets’, came into view.

The first thought I had was simple enough. After all we have lots of closets in our house, most of them pretty full. Some have clothes, shoes, boot, jackets, hats, and other articles of clothing. Others have towels, sheets, our vacuum, extra Kleenex and toilet paper, and a host of miscellaneous things.

Okay, no big deal there.

I did notice that closets are places to hide things you don’t want to see out in the open, because they would be too messy or take up too much space you need for other things.

This observation seemed to offer a clue, but the picture still wasn’t clear.

I remembered a saying about closets, that they are a place to store your skeletons. I checked out Wikipedia and discovered the saying came from 19th century England and was an idiom used to describe an undisclosed fact about someone which, if revealed, would damage perceptions of the person.

So, now I’m getting closer. Closets are an important hiding place for what you don’t want others to know about you. They house secrets and hide what we might describe as shameful things. I wondered; don’t we all have things we hope never see the light of day? Things we’ve thought or done that if others knew, would alter their opinions of us?

That’s closer to my fear about not wanting to write this post, but not the end point yet.

It only took a second longer to realize that closets have a much more significant reference point…’coming out of the closet’, where an individual reveals their sexuality, rather than hiding it. For those brave people who take this extraordinary step in their lives, I want to say, bravo to you.

Allowing others in society to dictate who a person can or cannot be through the use of shame, denial, stigma, humiliation, or any other form of control, devalues all humanity, especially those who refuse to continue hiding who they really are.

Unfortunately, many feel a strong sense of need to adhere to a set of religious beliefs that have been taught to them. Beliefs that are fear based rather than love based.

I fully realize this is an emotionally charged topic and is often seen as divisive, with only polar views, so that any stand I voice may be both popular and unpopular.

Okay, now it’s obvious to me why I wanted to resist this post.

But I have to take a stand.

I believe in love. Love opens, expands, embraces, forgives, accepts, is compassionate, caring and, valuing. It is the foundation of everything.

I also believe that the only role that fear plays is to be a messenger, a guide, a redirection from itself back to a state of love. Fear is meant to be temporary. Love is meant to be permanent.

I stand with all those who believe in love and encourage all those who believe in fear to use it to return to love. Everything is out in the open in love and nothing is hidden, nor does it need to be. I believe we all are meant to be who we are in this life. We have free will for this very purpose and it is not up to anyone to control another’s view of their life. I believe love offers us all a chance to embrace our lives in the ways we choose.

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A More Complete Diet Plan

While away on a break from writing original posts I thought I’d share some of my favorites with you from the past three and a half years. In mid-March I’ll return with more original posts. Until then, please enjoy these.

It certainly seems to me that there is no agreement about the best or perfect diet plan to follow. A casual glance reveals an incredible variety of approaches including ketogenic, Mediterranean, low-carb, Veganism, Carnivore and Paleolithic. I could easily name ten more I noticed during thirty seconds of research.

If you factor in specific issues and concerns, the complexity multiplies. We face so many varying physical challenges; diabetes, heart disease, dementia, cancer, allergies and so many more, all calling for modifications to any plan we choose.

It can easily become mind-boggling.

In wondering where to turn for wise counsel we seek out experts. Unfortunately for us, there are experts for every conceivable diet plan. Each has a set of facts to support their position, making it all but impossible to know what path to take.

Adding to this we may find that it is difficult to stick with whatever we do choose. Some diet plans are too restrictive or complicated or cut out all of the foods we like making it very difficult to adhere to them.

I am not a professional in the field nor would that ever be a claim I would make. It is always advisable to discuss all of your specific issues with a qualified medical professional.

What I am is a person who generates a lot of questions. I have found throughout my life that asking good questions prompts me into action, and action is what drives me forward. I am someone who tries to think into and out of issues so that I can offer perhaps a broad range of considerations which might be helpful to you.

For me, the primary question to ask before choosing any path is, ‘why’? What do you personally hope to experience? Weight loss, a fuller life, improve specific aspects of your health or simply look and feel better? Through my personal experience and that of others I know, I have come to realize that without answering the question, ‘why?’, it’s very difficult to apply any plan selected.

I sense it is also critical to take into consideration each aspect of myself; physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. If I am missing any one of these, I’m unlikely to experience success.

Before I choose a diet plan (or any other important decision) I spend time having an inner dialogue and allowing my physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual selves to voice their concerns and desires. This may sound unusual to you, but sitting back and focusing on each voice provides an opportunity to flesh out my ‘why’ and any challenges which might make it harder for me to succeed.

It also feels important to me to define what ‘success’ means to me because I have little doubt we all end up expecting certain things to happen no matter what decisions we make. Keeping our expectations reasonable and realistic will surely assist us in reaching our aims.

Once you know your ‘why’ and have listened to your inner voices for direction and given some thought to your version of success, it becomes very important to create an action plan.

No matter what diet plan you’ve chosen, there are steps you’ll need to take to shift from what you’re doing presently to how you’re going to implement your new plan. Releasing old patterns and adopting new ones requires some will power.

Is it easy for you to alter your perspectives and habits or will this create major hurdles for you? I believe this is where your ‘why’ comes into play. Once you’ve answered the question of ‘why’, hopefully you’ve armed yourself with positive motivations you can use to overcome any challenges or difficulties you encounter. Having important physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual reasons for your choices gives you power and offers you your best chance for the success you desire.

Whatever you decide, I hope you experience a wonderful life.

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Completion

While away on a break from writing original posts I thought I’d share some of my favorites with you from the past three and a half years. In mid-March I’ll return with more original posts. Until then, please enjoy these.

A while ago I mentioned to you that I had chosen a task which would significantly challenge me. My son, Tommy, had told me about something called a Misogi.

Research informed me that it is an ancient Japanese Shinto practice where monks and their student would embark on a long journey high up into the mountains in search of a waterfall. The students, wearing thin short robes, would stand under the cold streaming water performing a ritual intended to purify their bodies and their minds.

An updated version is practiced by folks desiring to challenge and perhaps in some way, purify themselves. Those interested must choose something which they believe has a fifty percent or better chance of failure, and which will not harm themself or others.

I spent a bit of time wondering about this. It felt necessary. Important. Vital to me, especially because I wanted to perform it prior to my birthday.

I cast about for a difficult task and chose to walk from one end to the other and back on a Rail Trail close to my home. I speculated the distance would be somewhere between 18 and 19 miles.

The longest distance I’d ever walked in my life was a little over 16 miles and that was many years ago when I was in far better physical shape. Nothing much hurt in my body and I felt relatively fit.

I wondered, was it even possible for me to complete this journey?

Despite understanding how challenging it would be, I knew deep inside me that it was important. I could not have told you why, I just knew.

And so, I began to figure things out. I’d need to go on some ‘practice walks’, distances that would offer me a sense of what I might experience on my Misogi and prepare my body and my mind.

My first long walk was a little over 8 miles and my second just shy of 10 miles. Each of them provided keen insights I felt would ultimately benefit me.

Tommy asked if he could join me, which I immediately jumped at, knowing the shared experience would last a lifetime.

Today is my 71st birthday and I wanted to let you know that we completed the full distance (19.5 miles) last Saturday, August 19, 2023.

The significance of this adventure is still dawning on me.

We had a wonderful time catching up and sharing our lives, further bonding us. I am so grateful that we could do this together and know it would have been so much more difficult had I done this solo. We compared notes about our physical aches and pains and often checked our mileage to the finish line. When we made it, we celebrated with orange bubble gum cigars.

During the days that followed, I wondered whether there was anything in my life that was purified? Were some ‘contaminants’ removed? Did I feel cleansed in some way?

What was the purpose of my Misogi? Did I prove something to myself? Would I do it again?

If you thought about it, what Misogi would you choose for yourself? How demanding would it be? Can you tolerate the thought of failure? Are you driven by the allure of success?

In the end, I believe I wanted to test my sense of resolve. Could I, would I complete my chosen task, or would I give in? This task became less about success or failure and more about connecting to my inner strength. A strength that could overcome obstacles and challenges, regardless of the difficulties.

I freely admit I hit a physical pain wall at about 14 miles, and there was a moment of temptation to stop and give up. But something inside me refused to seriously consider the idea. I tapped into a reserve. I willed my body to continue moving for the next 5.5 miles, one stride at a time, knowing I could do it.

I think this is why I did this. To prove to myself that I could if I willed it.

I hope you can tap into your own inner reserve and accomplish whatever you set out to achieve in your life.