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Do Overs

When I was a kid we resorted to the strategy of ‘do overs’ a lot, finding countless opportunities to take advantage of this practice. And why not? Everybody makes mistakes and wants a chance to do better.

It starts pretty early in life.

I remember one hot summer day when I received a beautiful cold sweet ice cream cone. I was so excited that I didn’t pay enough attention as I took it from my father. You can probably guess what happened. Yup, the ice cream scoop fell onto the ground and I was left holding the cone. I don’t remember whether I screamed or cried, but I got a do over…another ice cream cone. Go Dad, you rock!

Funny thing is, that do overs are programmed in to some things, kind of a recognition that everything doesn’t always work out the first time. Take our national pastime of baseball, for example. If you’re really good or perhaps, really bad, you can stand at homeplate all day long and hit foul balls. You get to keep trying till you hit the ball between the first and third base lines. I guess Abner Doubleday liked do overs a lot.

And sometimes in school, on rare instances, if you flunked an exam, you might get an opportunity to take a make-up test. I’m not sure how this gets decided, which ones you do and which ones you don’t, but I know it exists. Not that I ever flunked a test (wink wink).

I recognize that we are usually under some kind of pressure to perform tasks and that there are often expectations attached to our results. Supposedly, some people thrive under these conditions, but more often, I believe we’d feel much better if we knew there would always be the possibility of a do over.

What if life was like tennis, where you always get a second serve. Or even golf, where you can take a ‘mulligan’ (a well-loved, but unofficial opportunity to hit your shot over again), in case you drove your golf ball into the woods. I realize this doesn’t fly in professional tournaments, but in my opinion, life isn’t a tournament

Once you transition from school to the work world, you encounter all sorts of new experiences. Sometimes there’s latitude for errors and sometimes not.

I worked as a bank teller for a few years before moving up the ladder. At the end of each shift you had to ‘prove’, meaning that all of what you took in had to equal all of what you gave out. If it didn’t match, you had to find out why. This could be a very tedious and unnerving experience, especially if the amount was significant. Surprisingly, $100 differences were not uncommon. This happened to me a couple of times. We eventually found most of them, but imagine if every teller had to be perfect every day with no allowance for mistakes. No do overs.

And then there is the world of relationships. We all make so many mistakes no matter how hard we try. Of course, we can apologize and ask for permission to try again, promising to do better and hope our do over is granted.

I feel it would help us all if we remembered that each of us is a giver and a receiver when it comes to do overs. The giver can extend mercy and compassion. They can offer encouragement and express love and leave the door open. The receiver can promise to be more thoughtful or careful. They can show gratitude and love for their second chances and do those things that they promise.

I’m going to take some time over the next few days to pay attention to giving and receiving. I’d love to have you join me, and if you’re inclined, let me know how it goes with your do overs.

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Feelings

I may have mentioned this before. I know it’s in my most recent book, talking with (god). I keep a daily Feelings Journal, which gives me the chance to actually spend time feeling, instead of always focusing on thinking. Of course, I can’t help that some part of me is thinking while I do this. That seems inevitable. But, offering myself the chance to express how I really feel is priceless.

I discover so many wonderful insights when I open to what my heart is experiencing. Over the years, I’ve learned to open as wide as I can and to say whatever feels like it needs to be said.

Recently, I was sensing despair surrounding me, especially as it related to the political turmoil in our nation. Bravely, I chose to allow everything that upsets me to rise to the surface. In doing so, this observation came into view, “we fall off the rails and slip into our own darkness when we judge our lives by the darkness of others”.

I think this explains a lot and I can see how it applies to my life. Perhaps it may apply to yours also.

Others darkness affects me. It spreads out, enveloping everything in its path. Have you felt this?

It can affect my whole world, altering it and fading it, sometimes turning it into formless shadows.

One of the beautiful things about acknowledging my feelings is that I get to reclaim the colors in my world. I get to recognize that I am in charge of my own light and my own darkness. By allowing each of my feelings to be seen in the light, rather than staying deep inside of me, I can choose what is to become of them.

Sometimes only one or two feelings pop up, but other times there is a multitude. The last time this happened I allowed each feeling to have it’s own voice. It was very loud at first, but it subsided and a wise voice spoke saying, “don’t try to start with everything, start with one thing.”

One thing, one feeling.

Yes, I could manage that. There is certainly wisdom in allowing the rest to wait their turn. And if they become unruly, I can always put them in ‘time-out’, after all, I am the one in charge.

So, where to start when there can be so many?

It’s up to you of course, but I’ll share my approach and you can decide if it feels right to you. I hope that’s the way it always works when you come here. You have your own magnificent life to live, so I hope you always feel free to choose your own way, no matter what you find here.

Sometimes I choose the feeling that speaks the loudest to me. I figure that if I do this, I’ll be able to hear the feelings with quieter voices better. Sometimes I have an inner knowing that the feeling with the quietest voice is the key to everything, so I start there. The selection process is mostly intuitive.

It probably doesn’t matter where you start, but it does matter that you start.

For me, the ideal starting point is by talking with (god). You know, if you’ve read my book, that (god) comes to me as father (Abba), mother (Na’a), brother (Yeshiwa) and sister (Lia or love In Action). I spend the most time with Lia these days. I can lay out all of my feelings in any way and in any order and they are all heard. Doing this gives me enormous peace. And talking with Lia and hearing her response fills me and brightens every color in my world

For you, there may be a different starting point. The beautiful thing is it’s up to each of us to choose our own path.

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SPECIAL NOTE:

I case you want to know more about creating or expanding your relationship with (god) you may want to consider reading talking with (god), which you can learn more about on the Books page of this website.

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Asking

One of the most consistent things I’ve heard about me in my life is that I ask good questions. It is a skill I spent a lot of time developing and has almost always proven to be beneficial, mostly for others, but also for myself.

It is a curious thing, this idea of asking. It is both encouraged and discouraged, depending on the circumstances. Parents often invite children to try new things and ask questions while they are learning. This is also true in school, but mostly applies to learning facts not questioning the teacher or the school’s policies.

Asking questions may also result in a lot of frowning when the subject of the asking broaches taboo topics, like politics, religion, a person’s weight or orientation. Actually, the list can be rather long.

Recently, I was thinking about the value of asking, mostly because I often refrain from asking for things for myself. I wonder why I do that? Perhaps I’m not alone. Maybe you do it too.

So, I spent some time and came up with several reasons why asking is such a good idea and why it is important for me to shift my perspective and find the value in asking.

Here’s what I want to share with you.

Asking prompts action. To me, it is not a step by step process, but rather an opportunity to purposeful choose the experience one wishes to claim as their own. Each question aids in exploring options and taking action.

Asking also creates an opening. It has the power to dislodge ‘stuck stuff’ and open some space so that one can choose whatever option seems wisest to them.

Asking generates excitement. It ignites sparks and wonderful ideas can spring forth and catch fire.

Asking initiates dialogues and connects people. It brings folks closer and clears the way forward in relationships. I’ve seen it happen so often that folks have conversations to try to resolve issues and get just so far then stall, when asking one more question might open the right door for them.

Asking sharpens our focus and provides opportunities to deepen thinking and create clarity. It forces folks to define situations, encouraging both analysis and insight, so that the direction forward is easier.

Asking can help us to let go of whatever we are asking was about. What I mean is, there is power behind every question in our lives and sometimes the power overwhelms us. By asking questions, we can unlock some of the power, releasing us and giving us some distance and peace.

Asking provides clarity, perhaps not immediately, but as a result of thinking about the issues and giving ourselves time to gain insights.

And, asking helps us to put out into the world what we hope to experience. Defining our questions shapes our view of the world. And once the questions exist and are real, we have the opportunity to form answers and create what we desire.

I find that it is always helpful for me to know what I am asking for and to have a sense of the actions I need to consider or perform in order to arrive where I want to be in my life.

I find it valuable and necessary to give myself permission to ask for what my heart desires. I haven’t been very good at this, but I’m interested in changing.

So, I’d like to ask you for something. If you find some merit in these posts, would you please tell a friend and invite them to join us here at my website: https://messagesforinspiration.com/

Or, if you’re open to it, invite more than one friend, because I would love to connect with as many people as I can. Thank you.

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Claiming Your Best Life

I’m not sure how you feel about mind opening ideas, but I have one for you. Actually, it’s not mine. I’m just the one passing it along to you.

It came from Lia (see below if you are new to this website for an explanation of who Lia is).

We were having a conversation and I was pushing for deeper insight. Really pushing. I told her that I wanted to know everything there was to know. I wanted to wake up and fully remember. I wanted to believe that we humans are really spiritual beings with unlimited abilities. I do believe that.

I asked Lia how I could experience my best possible life. Her short answer was, “claim it.”

I have to admit this type of answer has always been difficult for me to hear. It makes it seem simple or merely a case of deciding between available options. But it is not that simple for me, mostly because there are so many things I don’t know or understand. I don’t even know what all of the options are, so how can I choose the right ones?

Lia is very patient with me. Always. It’s one of the many things I love about her.

I’m so dense sometimes, but I keep trying, so I asked for more of an explanation.

Lia told me that there are an infinite number of lives that already exist and have always existed. They are fully formed and available for whoever chooses them. She said that no matter what sort of life we desire, the one we ask for is always open to us. Always available for us to claim as our own.

I needed a few minutes to try to absorb this.

I admit that I was confused, so I asked for clarification. Was she really saying that I could live whatever life I truly wanted and live it without any limitations? And, what about the life I was already living? Was she saying that I didn’t need to spend time fixing it and correcting all of the things I felt were wrong with it, before I could live ‘my best life’?

Lia smiled at me and went on to say that, of course, I could experience any life I desired. All I had to do was choose it as my own. She said that since the life I wanted to live already existed, I merely laid claim to it.

Lia said I could close my eyes and imagine what the life I wanted looked like and bring it into focus and see it as my truth. And to feel it as my truth. She told me that the more often I did this, the easier it would be for that life to appear. Lia told me this is how all lives can change.

I was stunned. Did this mean that I could choose to release all of the life stories I have been told? And, did this mean that I could hit the reset button and let go off trying so hard to fix all the things I felt were wrong with me?

Lia said, yes, I could release all of what no longer served me and claim my best life, for the rest of my life. What beautiful news.

Lia is a feminine part of (god) that I am connected with and her name stands for Love In Action. She and I are inseparable and she often comes to share (god’s) wisdom and love with me.

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Cease Fire

So, you have your story about yourself or more likely, you have a handful of stories. In order to manage your life, perhaps you try to use one of your stories to suit different situations you face. Maybe that works and maybe it doesn’t.

What I sometimes find is that my story seems out of sync with life, forcing me to make some adaptations. When this happens, there can be challenges within me. I’ve come to recognize and accept that there are distinctly separate parts to me. There are my physical, emotional, mental, spiritual and ego parts. No doubt there are others, but these are the ones that raise their heads first.

When one or more of these parts are in conflict, the whole of me is pushed off center and a sense of unhappiness can take over. Often, it’s only for a brief period of time, but occasionally, it lasts for an uncomfortable span.

Here’s a quick example.

When my family and I were on vacation last summer, I moved wrong and hurt my back. Physically, I needed to rest, gently stretch and take it easy. Emotionally, I was torn between knowing I needed to give my body time to heal, and feeling sorry for myself for the fun I would be missing. Mentally, I wanted to figure out how to heal faster or decide how I could have fun while recuperating. Spiritually, I wondered about the mind-body-spirit connection and about the healing process. Would it be possible for me to marshal energetic forces to heal more quickly? And, my ego, well it had a field day, offering plenty of advice and opinions all aimed at self-protection. It also chided me that I should have been more careful. Thanks, really helpful!

Maybe you are wondering where the cease fire comes in. Actually, right here. Well, almost.

One quick reference. According to Wikipedia, cease fires date back to the Middle Ages, when warring factions decided they needed a break in the battle. They were supposed to be reconsidering the need to fight and whether resolution was possible, but often each side used the time to resupply, as preparation for more fighting. Curiously, it was also known as a ‘truce of God’.

To me, a cease fire is extremely important because it creates an intentional ‘pause’. A pause, not to resupply inner arguments as part of the ongoing war, but to allow the story to be reconsidered. And perhaps to find a resolution, hopefully where all parties are satisfied with the proposed outcome.

You can think about it as a ‘reset button’. Imagine what a relief it would be, in the middle of a fight, an argument, or an internal battle, to be able to hit the ‘reset button’ and pause the conflict. Imagine the pause giving you time to start over, to see the conflict from another perspective or to allow the intense energy to dissipate and drain away. Imagine the freedom this would create inside of you and how it could change your story.

I’d like to say that my vacation experience provided me with an immediately effective cease fire, but it didn’t. I had to spend time working through a few things before it leveled out. I discovered it takes practice.

I also learned that the practice is worth it and that each time I hit the reset button to call a cease fire, it becomes easier.

It also creates a wonderful opportunity for me to claim my best life, which I’ll talk about in the next post. See you then.

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Stories We Tell Ourselves

Three different thoughts occurred to me recently. Interestingly, they seemed connected, so I’m going to string them together in a series of posts for you.

The first one is about the ‘Stories We Tell Ourselves’ and how they impact our lives. The second post I’m calling, ‘Cease Fire’, and it is an opportunity for us to call a truce with ourselves. The third is an extension of the first two and is titled, ‘Claiming Your Best Life’ and may provide you a new perspective about the way you live.

I’d like to ask you a question first. Take whatever time you need to consider your answer.

If you were writing a book about your life, what would the main story be?

Of course, there are tons of sub-stories, each with their own plot lines and twists and surprising endings. But, what is your main story about?

I’ll assume you’ve come up with something, even if it’s a quick answer. Now, give it a moment to sit with you, then ask yourself if it is YOUR story or the story others have told you about yourself.

When I’m in a reflective mood, I often conclude that I’m really repeating old stories I’ve been told by others or ones where I’m responding to what I think I want my story to be, but not what it is. It can be pretty confusing.

Here’s another couple of questions. Is your story mostly good or mostly bad? Has it taken the turns you want or fallen short of your expectations? And, how susceptible are you to complying with what others want your story to be?

These can be very difficult questions to sort out and work through.

The first story that came to me was, The White Knight. The protector, the fixer, the shiny one. I don’t think anyone told me this was MY story. Rather, I believe the image of the white knight and the values surrounding the image were appealing to me. I have little doubt that I built this image to make myself feel stronger and to give myself a sense of worthiness. I liked the idea of riding in and rescuing someone in distress.

I believe what happened over the course of my life was that I took bits and pieces of others stories and added them to my own. And, I listened to what others said when they talked about me and accepted what I felt fit and rejected whatever didn’t.

Although your story may be completely different, does any of that apply to your story? Do you feel that you created your story and modified it to suit a view you liked?

Or perhaps, if you are dissatisfied with your story the question becomes, did you accept too much of what others told you? Have you allowed their story of you, to become your story of you?

I know it can work this way. I’ve seen it happen in my own life, after all, White Knights do fall off their horses. And, there are also more powerful knights in the kingdom who gain favor by knocking white knights off their horses.

To me the biggest question comes when you arrive at the place where you no longer like YOUR story.

That’s where the next post continues, so please come along for the ride.

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Stilling the Storm

I believe in the value of wisdom wherever you find it. Sometimes it’s found by observing the natural world. And, at other times, it can be seen through the eyes of a child or inside a vivid dream that connects you to the world beyond.

I believe we all have our own individual religious or spiritual paths to travel, so I tend not to advocate for one version over another.

For me, I’ve also discovered incredible wisdom in the stories from Yeshiwa’s life. Yeshiwa, being the Aramaic name for Jesus.

I feel a very strong connection to Yeshiwa. I feel and hear the messages revealed and they speak truth to me. I’d like to share one with you, but I understand if you need or want to shy away.

                             *********************

There is a story about when Yeshiwa and his disciples were gathered along the shore of a great sea. They were sitting and talking and waiting for Yeshiwa to tell them what would be happening next in their lives. Where would they go and what would they be doing? Everything was so new to them. Many of them were fisherman by trade and understood much about fishing and the sea, but still knew almost nothing about Yeshiwa’s mission.

Yeshiwa spoke, telling them that he wished to cross the great sea and preach to whatever crowds would be there. So, they all got into a long wooden boat and pushed away from shore. Yeshiwa crawled toward the stern and immediately fell fast asleep.

The crossing would take many hours, as it was broad in this part of the sea and the current was running swiftly against them. Despite the disciples taking turns rowing, exhaustion overcame them all.

The fishermen were the first to become aware of a growing storm heading toward them. At first, the crests of each wave rose gently over the sides and spilled into the boat. But, as the fierce winds howled and the waves grew in size, more and more water filled the boat, threatening to overwhelm it.

Even the most seasoned fisherman became very afraid, worrying that their boat would sink and they would all be drowned.

The nearest to Yeshiwa shook him, over and over, until he awakened.

“Master, do you not see what is happening and how much danger we are in?”

Yeshiwa stood, raised his eyes to the furious sky, breathed out one breath and said, “Peace, be still.”

All was instantly calm and silent. And the sky returned to brilliant blueness and the water appeared as smooth as glass.

Yeshiwa sat and looked at the faces of his disciples. They were in awe. Never in their lives had they seen such a thing. How could this have happened? Who was this man, who had command over the wind and the sea?

Yeshiwa asked them, “Why were you afraid? Did you not know where to place your faith?”

The disciples cast their eyes downward and could not meet his gaze. They heard the gentleness in his voice, but understood so little of what he said and none could answer his questions.

Yeshiwa spoke to them saying, “Raise your eyes to mine my beloveds. Hear my words and place them deeply in your hearts, so that you may carry them with you always.”

“I tell you the truth, it falls to you to teach, as I have taught you. You are one with the Spirit and can not be separated. Not by wind or waves, nor by anything else that will ever happen in your lives. You may take this on faith, that you and I are one, always connected and never apart. No storm can change this, so be free inside your heart and rest in me.”

                                    *****************

I remember this story when my life is a storm. I close my eyes and fall into my heart, knowing that I am always connected, a part of the one. And I can say to any storm, “Peace, be still.”

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Benefit of the Doubt

My six-year-old grandson, Evan, was playing with Legos on the floor and was searching for a particular figure. He described it to me, so I could help him locate it, by saying that it was the one with the smiley face, not the mad face. To him, smiley face equaled, ‘happy’ and mad face equaled, ‘angry’. He wanted the happy one.

I can’t help myself. I asked him, “what do you think the mad faced Lego figure is angry about?

He stared up at me and said, “huh?”

I know it was silly of me to ask, but I wanted to see what he might say. Now I knew for sure. He ought to know better by now that I ask ‘dumb’ questions.

This little episode got me thinking. Do I gauge someone by their facial expression?

Of course, I do. If I see a person with a smiley face, I imagine they are happy. And, if I spot someone with a mad face, I’d assume they are angry. I wonder, how much of the time this is the truth?

There are no doubt a million reasons why someone is displaying one face or another. Then, there is the fact that everyone’s facial expressions change all the time. That makes it even more unlikely that I could make any accurate assumptions about what’s going on inside of them.

I recognize that what they’re experiencing is completely about them, but I also know that I let others emotional states impact me. I let their faces influence me and, if I’m not aware enough, I make some judgements about them or come to conclusions that may be totally incorrect. Once I do this, it becomes all about me.

I try to guard against this tendency by reminding myself that, even on my best days, I can’t possibly know what’s going on inside another person.

And, I ask myself whether I am prepared to give them the benefit of the doubt. To hold in my mind that they are doing the best they can under whatever circumstances they’re facing. And, to offer them whatever support I can for their journey.

I’ve come to realize how powerful it is to give someone, ‘the benefit of the doubt’ and how wonderful it is to receive the same. I sometimes think to myself, what would my life would be like if I did this more often? Or better yet, if I set this as one of my defaults, so that when I initially reacted negatively (with a mad face) to something, I stopped and told myself that there is probably a very good reason for whatever was happening, (shifting to a smiley face).

I grant you this takes practice. From my recent attempts, I’ve come to the conclusion that the practice is well worth the time and effort.

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Never Mind

“Never mind.”

Have you heard these words before? I certainly have and I suspect you have too.

I’ve heard them most often when used to cancel out a request that’s been made. An individual has asked a question or expressed a need for help. If the question isn’t answered quickly enough or the plea for help is ignored, ‘never mind’ can be uttered with some passion and anger. The subtext is a kind of, ‘thanks anyway!’, and the person who asked the question or needed some help usually walks away frustrated.

It also happens that ‘never mind’ is used more softly. At times an individual will request something, but realize they are capable of filling their own need or rethink the importance of their request. Saying ‘never mind’ is their release of need, both for the one they asked and for themselves. It is often accompanied with a shrug or a little laugh, as if to say, ‘sorry to trouble you.’

It is interesting to me that we can use the same expression to mean two very different things. I’m pretty sure there are a ton of examples that fit this description.

Beyond these two examples, I’ve thought of three other interpretations I’d like to share.

First, I want to tell you how this post came about. These two words popped into my head and I just knew they needed to be the subject of a POST. I knew nothing beyond that. I stared at a blank page in my notebook and said to myself, ‘let’s just see what happens’. I’m telling you this because it represents a state of being I encourage, where you let go and trust there is wisdom to fill the void.

And, I want to tell you, there is always wisdom to fill the void.

What about ‘never mind’ meaning that it is okay to be open and to accept what comes your way, knowing you are loved and cared for by the divine universe (you choose the name you like best for the divine universe). Whether it is a less than desirable grade on a test, a bump in your fender, a perceived sense of disrespect or anything else that makes you feel less.

Or the slight variation of ‘never mind’ meaning that you allow everything to be as it is, without having to control it. A kind of ‘never mind’ freedom. So, when others don’t act as you would prefer or say the things you don’t want to hear, you release whatever sting of pain their words or actions might have created in you.

Here’s my last one.

What if ‘never mind’ became a suggestion to shift where you live your life from. So, the expression would read, ‘never mind (first)’.

What if you lived your life from your ‘heart’ first, instead of your ‘mind’? What would that be like?

This idea is not to suggest that your ‘mind’ doesn’t play a significant role in your life. It does. It has to. But, is it first?

What comes to me is this question.

Where is my best life going to come from?

My answer is, ‘never mind’, but rather from ‘my heart’. How about you?

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Random Image

Do you ever have ideas just pop into your mind, completely unaware of their origin or reason for coming to you? I do. In fact, it happens pretty often.

When this first began, I didn’t pay much attention to when ideas arrived. I thought to myself, ‘oh, that’s interesting…but, I’ve got stuff to do’, disregarding them, only to have the ideas return later.

Believing myself to be someone who respects both intuition and inspiration, I’ve learned now to slow down long enough to take the idea inside and let it sit with me. This is definitely an acquired skill, but offers such value to me and to anyone who chooses it.

So, when my latest idea arrived, I leaned back, breathed into it a bit and let it have its way with me. Here’s what it said:

‘Why don’t you create a post from a random image.’ A statement, not a question.

I responded that I needed more information than that to take any action and was given this:

‘Go to your website, click on the POST button, click on the IMAGE button, see what comes up and SELECT a picture that speaks to you, then write a post about it.’

‘Oh sure’, I thought, ‘simple.’

I confess, I tabled the idea and went on about my business.

Over the next week or so the idea reappeared, sort of like someone knocking at your door, leaving and coming back and knocking again. I knew I would give in.


‘Okay,’ I said, ‘Stop already, I’ll do it!’

At the beginning of this post is the image that spoke to me.

It’s beautiful and very intriguing to me. How is that the tree is growing in the middle of this gorgeous body of water? I don’t think I’ve seen anything like it before. I also loved the subtlety of the colors and the mix of purple and orange as it spreads across the picture.

I looked closely at the image. I don’t think it’s photo-shopped, but again I wondered, how is it possible for the tree to be there?

I let my mind wander. I let my heart go with it to see what my mind would pick up on. I wondered if the ‘idea’ that started this all directed me to this specific image. Was that possible?

And, I wondered too, what has this all to do with inspiration?

As it turns out, quite a bit, I believe.

This whole exercise is about inspiration. It’s about thoughts and feelings appearing inside me with no obvious cause or reason. They just show up and it’s up to me to recognize them and to learn from them and appreciate them. To invite them to sit down with me, like I would if a friend called me up to have a chat.

If we truly pay keen attention to our lives, I believe it is always like this. Invisible, intangible, delightful inspirations come into our day. We have the chance to work with them and see where they will take us. The question I feel it’s important for me to ask myself is, ‘will I invite them in?’

Once I’ve decided to open myself up, it becomes magical, mysterious and memorable. I can’t explain from where, or how the ideas come. Or, why they chose me. And I can’t explain about the tree in the middle of this water. The thing is, it all inspires me. It’s beautiful and wonderful.

And I sit back…thankful for inspirations.

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