Category: worth

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What Were You Made For

It’s likely that you watched, listened to or heard about Billie Eilish’s song, What Was I Made For, which was the Official Music Video for the film, Barbie.

No doubt everyone has their own opinions about the song. I find it eerily haunting and beautiful. The undercurrent feels eye opening to me, especially when you consider how it fits into the movie.

Of course, you can take the song and movie at face value, but there is so much underneath of benefit and worth.

What would you answer if I asked you this deceptively simple question…what were you made for?

Perhaps you’ve already arrived at your answer.

But for those of you who have not previously considered this, what are you inclined to respond?

I always feel it’s fair that I answer the questions I ask, so here’s my response.

I need to back up a little.

I still carry with me some memories from heaven. There was a ceremony I participated in, and many choices were made. I do not remember all of them, but there are some that are clear to me. I probably ought to say, they become clear to me as my life goes on.

I believe I chose where, when and to whom I was born. It feels obvious to me that the experiences I’ve encountered fit neatly into my life plan. I realize and believe that each choice is fully and completely under my control because I have free will. This is not to say that I haven’t been manipulated or coerced or brainwashed into making choices others wanted. But the truth for me is that I allowed or sanctioned or surrendered and accepted the path others wanted me to take in order to please them or keep me from their wrath.

That is until I decided to put my self first. You may be thinking, that’s kind of selfish, isn’t it? And you would be correct.

I realized I am here, on this earth, to create and experience my life. MY life.

I love others here and I certainly want to show love, support, and encouragement, but not at the cost of losing myself in the process.

I don’t believe that is what I was made for.

I was made to explore, discover, absorb, create, connect, give and receive love. I was made to be able to make my own choices, follow my own path, and share whatever radiance that burns inside of me.

I believe you have this same birthright. It’s part of your spiritual DNA. It’s one of the reasons you were given free will, so you could choose and chart your own path.

However, for you to answer this really important question has nothing to do with what I think or what I say. It’s entirely up to you.

So, what were you made for?

Whatever the answer is, I believe it already exist inside of you and if you give yourself a chance to listen, you’ll hear the sweet quiet voice guiding you toward your own answers and choices.

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Inspiration

If I gave you a minute and asked you to tell me the name of the first person who comes to mind when you hear the word, “inspiration”, who would it be?

Did the name come quickly to you, or did you have to stretch a bit?

Did fantastic memories of the person flood your mind and make your heart feel more alive? Or did it take several moments for the connections to happen?

Maybe there are a lot of folks in your life who jump into your mind, so it took a few minutes to see which one ended up topping your list.

And now here’s a twist of a question…are YOU on your own list?

I asked myself this question and was somewhat shocked to find that it was my name that appeared at the top of my list. I realize I risk something by saying this to you. You could think that I am self-absorbed or conceited or something else with negative connotations. But…

I’m saying it anyway.

The main reason is because I have (mostly) released the idea of being small in this world. I know that’s what the world tends to do to us. It wants us to submerge ourselves and not stand out. It’s one way of keeping us safe. But at what cost?

It forces us to look outside ourselves for everything, as if we are not enough or don’t count for anything.

I will not accept this.

I don’t need others to think I am important or to focus on me. I don’t need (or want) others to single me out or place me on any kind of pedestal.

But I do want to acknowledge my own inner worth and value. For me. Not for anyone else, as if this earth world is some type of contest I need to win.

I choose to speak what feels like the truth to me. I choose to shine as brightly as I can, to light up my portion of the world with brilliance. I choose to be on fire and to do all of the things that make me feel alive.

I choose to be inspired by my own actions and to give the best of myself to the world.

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What is Your Word Worth

On Christmas day I bet my grandson, Evan, $100 that he couldn’t throw his new basketball off their second story deck into his basketball hoop forty feet away. Mind you I’d already tried this twenty times without success, so I didn’t really think there was a strong chance that he’d be able to make the shot. But all sorts of things happen in this world.

After his third unsuccessful attempt he asked me how many more tries he could have. I told him he could keep going as long as he wanted.

On his next shot the ball whisked through the air headed right for the basketball hoop and swished through the net. As expected, he was overjoyed, both because he’d made a difficult shot and because he would be $100 richer.

We both whooped and screamed at his triumph. It was a great moment for each of us to savor.

Of course, you may be wondering what happened next.

Well, I don’t usually carry an extra $100 in cash in my wallet, so I couldn’t give it to him when he ran up to me and asked for his payout. He knew we’d be seeing each other the next day, so I told him he could have it then, which seemed to appease him.

Now, $100 is a pretty significant amount of money and there are those in the world who like to offer promises but have no intentions of delivering. They find ways to wiggle out of their agreements. Adults are particularly adept at this, especially when it comes to comes to children. They make a case that they didn’t really mean it or that they were just kidding, or they’d be happy to pay some lesser amount.

I did not want to be one of these adults.

I want my word to mean something, so that when I give it, others can rely on it, especially children. They are often told untruths, led on with the sole purpose of getting them to comply or they are given something less than promised. This breeds a deep lack of trust and erodes good foundations.

I knew that delivering on my promise was entirely up to me. No one could make me pay up and I could have chosen to convince myself that I was joking about my offer. But what would that teach him about me? What would it teach me about myself?

The next night our extended family was going out to dinner together. When everyone sat down, I asked Evan to come over to me. I took out five twenty-dollar bills and handed them to him. His face lit up. I could tell his nine-year-old brain was contemplating what he could do with his winnings.

I asked him if he thought that I would actually pay him the $100. He looked at me and responded with a ‘yes’. I wanted to satisfy my curiosity, so I asked him what he would have thought if I didn’t keep my word and pay him. He looked straight into my eyes and said, “I would have thought that you don’t tell the truth.”

And there it was. Exactly what I thought. He would have lumped me in with all those who lie to him or those who cannot be trusted.

Deep inside me, I knew without hesitation that this was a defining moment for us. He may not always believe me, but for right now, our foundation is strong, and our eyes can see each other’s truth.

To me, $100 is a small price to pay for his belief in me.

What is your word worth to you?

Does it represent who you are as a person in this world? Can you be counted on to deliver what you promise? Is it important that you live up to your own truth?

My hope is that I can always answer these questions from a place of inner conviction, knowing I have a strong foundation.

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Everyone Is Worthy

I want to share a story from my life with you.

I know from personal experience, as I’m sure you do too, that sometimes we’re not treated as if we are worthy. It isn’t a very good feeling. I try to remember this and acknowledge the innate value we each possess.

One day many years ago, during a particularly hot summer, a man rang our doorbell. As I opened the door he stepped back and began his speech. He was trying to sell magazines to fund his tuition for college. He said it was a special program designed for people like him. Before I could ask, he told me who ‘people like him’ were. He’d had a tough youth, which was another way of saying he’d been in trouble all his life. He told me he’d grown up in the projects in downtown Albany and used to sell crack. He said he was really good at it, but not good enough. He finally learned you couldn’t survive very long doing that.

I think it’s possible to tell if another person is lying to you by looking into their eyes, if you can look long enough. I also think there are people who can stand the stare for a long time without showing the truth. I knew I wouldn’t have the length of time it would take, so I just decided to believe him.

I wasn’t the only one home that day. My son, Tommy, was there too. He was playing games in his bedroom, like any other eight-year-old would do and waiting for me to come back. I guess I was gone too long, so he came looking for me. He found me sitting on the front porch talking with a man he didn’t know. He watched and listened to us through the screen door. After a couple of minutes, he came out, sat next to me, and asked what we were doing. The man showed him the magazine choices we could make and made sure Tommy saw the one all about video games. He told Tommy that the subscription prices were the best and it would help him to be able to go to college and change his life. He told Tommy a bit about how it was for him growing up and how much trouble he’d gotten into. And that he’d been really bad but was hoping to get another chance. The order form had other people’s names on it, and he hoped we’d sign up for a couple of magazines. Tommy and I looked the form over. Tommy quietly looked up at me and said, “are we really going to order these Dad?”. I told him we were, and he looked at me with a funny, questioning expression.

The man seemed pleased with our order and told me he’d accept cash or a check. I asked him if he was thirsty and when he said yes, I offered him a soda, which he happily accepted. I went inside to get the soda and a check. I gave them to him, and we talked about things for a while. He wasn’t in a big hurry and seemed to like hanging around with us. Somehow, we got on to the subject of birthdays. I asked him if he could wait a minute because I had something for him, but I had to get it from inside the house. He said he’d wait. After a minute I was back and he eyed me kind of sideways, trying to figure out what I was doing.

I handed him some folded bills and told him it might help with his second chance. He looked at me in a way no one else ever had. It was part surprise and part disbelief. A look I’ll never forget.

He asked me why I was doing this. I asked if he had a birthday and he said, “sure.” I told him that as far as I was concerned, today was his birthday and this was his birthday gift.

He just sat there shaking his head for a long, long time. His eyes got a little misty and he looked away. When he looked back at me, he said, “nobody has ever done anything like this for me.” It apparently was beyond him to understand why anyone would do such a thing for someone they didn’t even know. In that moment, truth came into his eyes. The truth about the magazines and the truth about his second chance. He left a little while later. As he walked away Tommy asked me whether we were ever going to see the magazines. I told him that I didn’t think so. That same puzzled look came back to him, and he looked up at me saying, “then why did you give him the money?”

The man, who was almost to the corner by now, turned back to us. He smiled and waved. I looked down at Tommy and said, “that’s why.”

We never did get the magazines. And I never saw the man again. But it really doesn’t matter to me because we all changed that day and it is still one of my favorite days ever.

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What Is Valuable

I am constantly coming up with questions I feel are important for me to consider.

One consistent thing that others have told to me over the years, whether at work, home, church, or casual conversations, is that I ask good questions. I take from that, that there is some immediately perceived value they sense. It’s probably not so much about my question, as what it stirs inside them that they feel would be worth considering.

So, here’s my latest question…what makes anything valuable?

I played with it for a little while and realized it could be asked another way too…what make something valuable?

If you’re interested, you can play along too, coming up with your own answers. In fact, I encourage you to jump in and see what rises up in your consciousness.

For me, I sense a need to define ‘valuable’ before I can explore the question fully.

I think my temptation is to accept a worldview of the word as referring to an object worth a great deal of money, such as land, gold, houses, or jewelry.

Fortunately, that’s not the only meaning. It can just as easily mean having qualities worthy of respect, admiration, or esteem.

I think my tendency is to consider what a person, place or thing means to me personally. The closer my connection, the more valuable something becomes to me.

If I sit back for a moment, it occurs to me that nothing is inherently valuable. It only becomes valuable once we desire to own or experience it. I find there needs to be some personal connection, some investment I believe is worth my time or other resources to trade for what I want to possess.

So, what would I be willing to pursue that would be worth this trade?  What would you trade?

As I think about this, I realize my answers have changed a great deal over the years. As a child, it was all about toys and playing with friends and my family. Once I went to school, the toys changed, but playing with friends and family didn’t. Eventually, freedom become incredibly important to me. I wanted to be able to roam around on my bike and explore and then when I got my driver’s license, my world expanded further. In college, it was never so much about my studies, it was about my friends (especially my girlfriend- my eventual wife) and again, the freedom to explore the surrounding countryside.

Then of course more things changed. I had a job, a career, a family of our own, a car, a house. All of those things were valuable to me. And all of those things were worth the trade of my time and talents.

Now that I am retired, my wife’s and my ability to remain connected to our children and grandchildren is extremely valuable to us. Beyond that I treasure having the freedom to pursue my personal creativity, whether its writing or artwork.

I also greatly value my physical, emotional, and intellectual health. Most of all though, it is my spiritual health I value, and it guides my life. I yield to this desire easily because I know that above all else, I am made of spirit. I know I am a part of the divine essence. I came from there and return to there. Knowing this in my heart offers me a genuine sense of being valuable in this world.

So, my final answer to the question of ‘what makes anything valuable’ is that we are all from the same source, the same spirit essence. We are all inherently valuable. We don’t need to accomplish anything in our lives to be valuable. It is our very nature.

I hope you feel the power and truth of this.

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What Is Worth Keeping

It’s spring-cleaning time and my daughter and I are preparing to have a joint garage sale at my house, which is much more accessible than hers for car and foot traffic.

It’s a time to declutter our houses. A big part of me thinks it’s also time to declutter my mind.

I want to focus on what is important in my life, what is worth keeping. I often refer to this as, embracing what serves me, or the corollary, releasing what no longer serves me. I want to keep all of the meaningful things and release the ones that weigh me down or take away my energy.

Every so often I’m torn, uncertain whether I can part with some of my things. I have an emotional bond with them. I wonder, is trading them for money worth it to me? And it matters what I answer.

Collecting my ‘stuff’ prompts another question. One that goes far beyond the items for the garage sale.

I wonder, what else am I attached to in my life?

Who am I connected to and how do we impact each other’s lives? What personal expectations do I have of myself and others? Am I attached to being who others want or need me to be?

Do these attachments serve me? Do they bring me closer to my aims and support my feeling good about myself? Do they assist me in experiencing my best life?

Or are they a source of more clutter? Things begging to be detached and released?

It’s clear I need to spend more time clarifying.

I also wonder, if I decide they served me at one time, but no longer do, how do I let them go? Is it as simple as studying each of them and seeing how they connect to me financially, emotionally, intellectually, physically, and spiritually?

Well, is there really anything simple about that?

Maybe, when all is said and done, it’s a matter of which weigh me down and which raise me up.

I wonder, which direction offers me the best chance at happiness and joy?

What feels important to me is to focus on those practices in my life that set me free, that recharge me, that connect me to the world. Rather than attempting to declutter a tangled mess, perhaps I can zero in on what opens me up and helps me soar.

I wonder what items you would put on a list if you created one?

I thought about mine and I’m happy to share it with you.

I love to go on day trips with my wife, to vacation with her and with the rest of our family, when they are available. I love to spend time with our family, no matter when it happens. I love to walk, swim, float, and spend time creek-walking. I love to read, write, and listen to interesting pod casts. I love artwork and other forms of creation. I love to talk with folks, especially those who want a depth of connection. And I love to be out in nature.

These are all worth keeping. They all raise me up.

They all nourish me and inspire me.

What works for you? How might you discover what feeds you, in order to know what is worth keeping?

I hope you are able to easily discover your path and hold on to all of the things that are most important to you.