Tag: belief

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Standing In Your Own Truth

Have you ever wondered how you can stand in your own truth and speak from your heart what feels real and genuine to you?

Each of us is surrounded by a culture that influences us every moment of our lives. Our own thoughts and beliefs can be easily overshadowed and when we do use our voice others may not hear us or accept us.  It can be even more challenging because cultures need for conformity may be too binding and restrict our freedom of expression.

I’ve felt the weight of this many times in my life, and I wondered what Lia, a feminine, ethereal voice of god that speaks with me, would say about this. So, I asked, “How can I come to stand in my own truth.”

She answered, “By consciously releasing yourself (your self) from whatever power holds you back, recognizing it was placed there by others (for their purposes). They only have power over you if you accept it and allow it. You are free to choose and do not have to give your power away to them.”

I responded, “So, I don’t have to accept what others have told me nor what they will tell me in the future?” I needed more reassurance.

Lia paused, then said, “No, not now and not ever. You came here to earth with an inner knowing that guides you to your truth. Whether you believe this and trust it is another thing.”

Continuing, she added, “All throughout your life you will be challenged to decide what and who to believe. You will need to consider what you know inside you to be the truth and then decide to follow this or accept what the world teaches you and expects you to believe. Part of your difficulty is that you are in ‘relationship’ with others, and this makes it challenging to stand in your own truth, because they want you to stand in theirs.”

I recognize my own temptation to concede, to take the easy way and comply with the world around me, except that when I do, a part of me feels shaken, unhappy, and angry, as if I’ve let myself down.

She heard me and responded, “Yes, that’s because a part of you always wants to stand in your own truth and your own light. Whenever you accept anything that does not feel true to you, a conflict arises. You know something is wrong and this generates these feelings you have …and more.”

I asked, “And the sole remedy for this is to stand in my own truth and light?” She nodded yes and I asked, “Given how deeply trained I am by my culture and how strong the demands and expectations are upon me, how do I do this?”

“By letting go of all resistance to anything. You may believe that if you recognize how culture is demanding something from you that you do not want to give, that fighting and resisting it will work to free you. It won’t because it is true what you’ve heard, ‘that which you resist, persists’. It’s like you have a ball and chain around your ankle. You think you are free, but it follows you everywhere.”

I was confused and asked, “Aren’t they the same thing said two different ways?”

She explained so that I could understand, “No, resist mothing means you do not fight against things (ideas, expectations, requirements). It means you see what is there, but don’t pick it up and hold it inside of you. You do not make it a part of you.”

Going on, Lia added, “Release means letting go of what is already within you which does not feel like your truth. All the ideas that a part of you knows do not agree with your truth. It means you see them and know they do not serve you, so you allow them to fall away from you.”

I responded, “So, resist nothing means recognizing what others outside of me believe, but not making it a part of me, unless it feels like a part of my truth. And releasing means seeing what is inside of me that no longer feels like my truth and letting it go.”

I could sense Lia smiling and hear her say, “Yes, it is a divine process. A cleansing and washing clean and what remains is YOUR truth. This is where you speak from. This is the light that shines within and through you into the world.”

I am so grateful for her presence in my life and her encouragement to stand in my own truth and light.

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Knowing The Reasons

What are you thinking when you’re driving in your car and you’re approaching a traffic signal? Maybe your thoughts are different depending on what color it is.

If it’s red, do you slow down and prepare to stop. If it’s green, do you proceed through it, continuing on your way.

But what about if it is yellow?

Do you slow down or speed up? Maybe that depends on how far you are from the intersection and your internal calculations about whether you can make it through before it turns red?

Why the traffic quiz?

Well, I’m wondering if the answer to these questions reflects how we live the other parts of our lives and the decisions we’re likely to make.

How much risk are we willing to take and what does that say about us?

Since I asked the question, it’s fair that I have to answer it.

My inclination is to gauge the likelihood I can safely make it through a traffic signal, regardless of the color. If it has just turned, the decision is easy. But if it’s been the color it is or I wasn’t able to see the signal because I’m behind something too big to see around or I wasn’t paying close attention, then I’m left with a bit of guesswork.

I believe this is when my default settings take over.

Surprisingly to me, I feel I have different sets of defaults, which means I don’t always have the same reactions or make the same decisions. Sometimes I’ll do the unsafe thing and go through a ‘pink’ traffic light (read this as, it’s actually ‘red’ but just barely). Sometimes I’ll jam on the brakes and manage to stop before going through. Not my wife’s favorite.

So, what do I think this says about me?

Actually, a lot.

I also sense that the decisions I make about everything else mean a lot too. There is always something operating in the background, inspiring, resisting, coaching, avoiding.

The question for me becomes, do I see what moves and motivates me? And if I see it, do I encourage it to inform me and modify my actions, allowing me to choose wisely? To choose consciously?

I’m quite sure the answer is that I don’t always choose wisely. I can see from the results of my decisions that I’m not experiencing the outcomes I had in mind. So, then what?

So, then I’m faced with a different question. Perhaps a two-part question. What are my motivations and what actions will assist me in experiencing my best results?

I think back to the example I began this post with and wonder, what is beyond the traffic light and why do I want to get there and why does it matter when I get there? Not knowing the answers to these questions makes a difference. It makes it challenging to see the bigger picture, the one that’s most important.

In the same way, not knowing what motivates me, what outcomes I want for myself or others and what difference it makes as a part of the grand scheme of my life all matters. The reasons are part of the decisions I make. Knowing the reasons is important, whether it’s a simple traffic light or a critical decision regarding some direction in my life.

Making conscious choices is important to me, so uncovering my reasons sheds valuable light and allows me to see more clearly. Any and all time I spend encouraging myself to see below the surface serves and benefits me. As a reminder, I try to remember this when approaching a traffic signal, no matter what color it is.

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People You Meet

I am a big believer that there is something special and unique that I can learn from every single experience I encounter in my life.

What do you think?

We can probably agree that some experiences are stronger than others and seem much more important or powerful, but believing that every single experience has something to teach us, perhaps you might think that could be going too far.

I might have felt that way at one time in my life but when I slow down and shift my perspective to a moment-to-moment framework something else happens. I see a wealth of meaning and connection.

It would probably help if I offered an example.

My wife and I recently went to Florida for twelve days of sunny, warm vacation. We arrived at our local airport, got our boarding passes, checked our bags, made our way through TSA and were sitting at our designated gate, awaiting boarding. There were lots of people milling around and most seats were full. Some of the flights were delayed, causing some annoyance to several passengers.

My wife and I sat down, storing our carry-on items in the empty seat between us. When the man next to her got up and headed toward the gate where boarding was starting, I decided to change my seat and took over his vacated space.

Despite my belief that he was boarding the plane, he must have been throwing something out, because he returned a moment or two later. Once he observed that I had taken his seat, he leaned toward me and said, “that’s my seat, sport!”, in what I would term a somewhat threatening voice and posture, leaving no doubt in my mind that he expected me to get up and relocate, so that he could have ‘his’ seat back.

Without giving it any thought, I stood up and changed back to where I had been sitting. However…I confess to feeling stung by his words and gestures, especially his use of the term ‘sport’. It reeked of condescension.

Part of me immediately went into hostile mode and wanted to know what right he had to speak to me in that manner or to demand ‘his’ seat back. There was no sign on it. He hadn’t left an open magazine there to claim his spot. He didn’t say to us, “I’ll be right back, could you save my seat for me?”. Nothing.

Another part of me wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he was having a really bad day. Maybe his flights had been messed up and he’d had to sleep overnight in the airport. Maybe his use of the term ‘sport’ wasn’t intended to ruffle or irritate me.

A third part of me wished I’d stayed where I was and told him he had no claim to the seat. No ownership. No rights. And, by the way, “who are you calling ‘sport’, sport!?”

There was yet another part of me operating during this sequence. I’ll call it my ‘inner observer’. It’s the part of me that takes notice of my thoughts and actions. It invites me to step back for a moment to consider. It encourages me to see if there is a bigger picture operating. And it asks valuable questions like, why is this triggering you and is it necessary or helpful for you to take this personally?

When I allow my observer to take center stage I see, hear, sense, and understand more. My observer also aids me in releasing my initial thoughts and reactions. I can let go of my what does not serve or benefit me. I can release my ‘possession’ of the seat and allow his comment and tone to pass through me. I can set aside my personal reactions and ownership of being triggered by his manner or expectations.

This ten second ‘connection’ between us can inform my whole world and leave a lasting impact on me. The choice is mine to decide. Not his nor anyone else’s. Mine.

What I take away from this or any other single connection I form with another is entirely up to me. That’s a powerful thing and I can choose to carry with me all of the hurtful or all of the helpful feelings that go with it.

I believe everyone can do this.

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Important ‘INGs’

I love words.

Sure, there are exceptions (like vomit or cancer) but on the whole I think words are magical, wonderful, and powerful.

Lately I’ve been drawn to words ending in the letters ‘ing’ and noticing how they impact my life. Maybe you have your own favorite ‘ing’ words.

I thought I’d share some of mine and see if they are already on your list, or perhaps they are words you’d like to add, because you see some value for yourself.

I’ll start with ‘sleeping’. Lately I’ve been paying much more attention to my physical being and realize now how dramatically important it is for me to get a decent amount of sleep and at the optimal time. Previously, I thought I could get by on 6 hours of sleep but have come to understand how this devalues and depletes me. Sleep sets the stage for everything else I experience in life, so I’ve decided to make it a priority.

‘Eating’ is my next word. For a long time, I’ve been wondering if there was a better way for me to eat. Not only how much, but when and what foods in specific. I suppose everyone shifts and changes over their life to some degree, but I feel I need to be more careful in the selection of what I eat. I’m not looking to stir up a wide-ranging conversation about what’s the best or most beneficial plan, just what’s best for me.

I’ve also been considering what forms of exercising are in my body’s best interest. I’m inviting my innate wisdom to help me decide. Is it stretching, strengthening or something else. Perhaps it is a combination of things. The important point seems to be, to do something to keep myself active and in shape. Fortunately, there are tons of people and resources to assist me.

Not everything I’m considering is about my physical body. I’m also aware of and interested in my feelings. Do I allow myself the freedom to feel or does my thinking mind take over everything? I don’t want to bypass my feelings because they are critically important to a holistic approach to my life. And they assist in guiding me and the directions I choose to take in life.

One of the most undervalued aspects of my life is resting. It’s a big challenge for me because I am such a ‘doer’. I seem to be in constant motion and often don’t balance that with replenishing rest. It needs to be more of a priority for me and I’d profit from allowing and encouraging myself to believe in the value of downtime and a good rest.

Dreaming is something I’m really good at. I have huge dreams and I’m capable and highly motivated to turn my dreams into my reality. I give myself permission to have creative dreams without limits, kind of a brainstorming approach where you allow everything to come forward without judgement or evaluation. This sets my dreams free and allows a birth to take place. What you are reading right now (this post and the website it comes from) came about as a result of one of my big dreams.

Of course, there are many, many more.

Working, thinking, writing, walking, believing, experiencing…the list goes on and on. Yours probably does too. Someday it would be fun to compare lists.

As I was writing this post I wondered if there was one ‘ing’ that tied things together for me and a beautiful word popped up…living.

It creates a host of thoughts and feelings. How long do I want to live? What sort of quality life do I want to live? What experiences do I want to have?

I don’t have answers to all of my questions…I’m still considering.

Fortunately, I don’t feel that I need to know everything. The day-to-day journey is so fantastic, I’m just happy to be along for the ride. I hope you enjoyed reading this

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Going Wrong

You know by now if you’ve been reading my posts for a while that I constantly wonder about things.

Here’s my latest.

Is going ‘wrong’, only going ‘right in disguise’? Is it possible that I am misperceiving a situation and that I’m just not far enough down the road to realize the ‘rightness’ involved?

Maybe I would be served by standing back a bit and asking myself, “is it true or just my perception of the truth”?

Perhaps it would help if I took a brief inventory of the facts. Or recognized that what I might consider to be mistakes are just segways, not ends to themselves.

Another thought jumps in and joins the party.

How do I define wrong? From what point of view? From what chronological reference? Do I base it on my own thoughts or what I perceive to be my cultural training? Or am I starting from an ideal, so that any deviation becomes a problem?

The narrower my definition, the harder it is for me to consider things as being right and the easier for them to be wrong. Either way can be a slippery slope.

As is so often the case, I searched for an example or two, hoping to provide myself with some clarity. Fortunately, two good examples spring to mind that I thought I’d share with you. Perhaps they will spark some insight as you think about your own life.

The very first event in my life that felt ‘wrong’ in every way was when my parents told my sister and me that we were moving from Watertown to Delmar, New York. Immediately I realized my whole world would be tipped upside down. I wouldn’t get to see all of my friends, go to the same school, know how to get anywhere and a host of other upsetting things.

There was no way I was interested in changing my life. How could they just up and move us 185 miles away from where I wanted to be? More maddening still, I did not even have a vote. They decided and it was done.

I don’t know if you ever had to leave a place you wanted to stay, but it’s a hard thing and it felt truly ‘wrong’ to me.

But here’s where some time and distance becomes a key.

Were it not for moving, I would never have met my amazing, wonderful wife. And without her in my life, we would not have our two incredible, joyful children. And without our children, we would not have our delightful, gorgeous grandchildren.

And the list of blessings spirals out in all directions, other family members, friends, church life, our house. I would have none of these beautiful things in my life.

In light of this, how could I ever think my parents’ decision to move my sister and me was wrong?

My other example is also obvious to me, once I step away for a better view.

My job was eliminated. I had not planned on retiring for another couple of years and I wasn’t ready to leave, but I wasn’t given a choice. I was told I was done, no longer employed! It was a crushing blow, especially the way it was done. It felt ‘wrong’ to me.

But it opened doors for me. I had the opportunity to join my wife in babysitting our two local grandchildren. I consider this to be my favorite, most rewarding, best of all possible careers. To spend quality time with them has been a sheer delight and something I will remember forever.

Again, I had to ask myself, how could this event in my life have been ‘wrong’ when I have loved it so much? My answer is simple. The happenings to me were not wrong, they were just the right things wearing a disguise that took time to see through. I only needed to shift my perspective a little and see the clarity that was there all along

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Heaven and Earth

I’d like to invite you to join me on a short journey. It won’t take long, unless you want it to.

I was having a conversation this morning with Lia, an ethereal feminine voice of god that speaks with me and answers questions I can’t answer for myself. This morning I asked her about heaven and earth and our experiences of each.

As with so many of our conversations, it stretched my human mind.

I try very hard to follow along, for me, but also for you, so that I can share what feels like the truth. Of course, what feels like the truth to me, may or may not feel like the truth to you and I honor that. I don’t believe anyone is served by accepting another’s words, unless they sense the truth in them for themselves.

Here is what Lia shared with me.

In heaven, you know everything there is to know BUT you don’t ‘experience’ it. From an earth perspective it would be the difference between the ‘idea’ of love versus being hugged by someone and ‘feeling’ loved.

In heaven you know earth is a place where duality exists (good/bad, right/wrong). And it is a place where you can choose what to experience. You can exercise your free will, which allows you to create and experience the outcomes that happen based on your choices, some of which you anticipate and others that you do not. Your life is shaped by what you conceive and believe and by the actions you take. You can live without any awareness of heaven or with a full remembering that you are a part of one essence, one pure unconditional love.

In heaven you know that your stay on earth is temporary and that you will always return to heaven once you are done with your earth experience.

Some who come to earth choose to remember their true nature, that they are a part of one essence. They come to experience their earth life, while also knowing the truth. Most of these earth essences are teachers, guides for others, offering insight about the truth.

In heaven, each essence is a unique energetic vibrational frequency and as such chooses certain life paths and events to be a part of their earth life plan (spiritual blueprint). They do this because they want to know what life feels like. There is a yearning to experience these things that earth life offer and that heaven does not.

No one requires this. It is a free will choice each essence makes.

In order to fully experiences parts of this plan, each essence consciously allows their awareness of the truth to be forgotten when they transition for heaven to earth.

Imagine playing a game here on earth but knowing the exact outcome before you start. Would that be a fun or meaningful way to play a game? Likely not.

This forgetting includes the events and the reasons for the events.

In heaven, each essence is able to choose any path, even and perhaps especially the ones that we as humans would not choose, because they are too painful in some way.

In heaven, one of the most beautiful knowings is that earth is temporary, and heaven is permanent. ALL essences who chose to experience earth, return to heaven, without exception.

Each essence is pure unconditional love, whether they appear that way on earth or not.

Each essence has free will, so can choose to experience earth in any way. Many essences choose to experience shattering events, which would seem an unlikely choice and yet many individuals involved say, they would not have it any other way because of what came out of the experience for them. Earth life is full of these examples.

To make sense of what seems senseless is not an easy shift. It may challenge earthly logic too much and more insight may be needed. All answers do not come at once. But once an essence returns to heaven and merges back into the one, all is once again known.

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Write Your Own Story

Do you like to read stories? Do you have a favorite subject or style? Is there an author you’re especially fond of?

If you wrote your own story, what would the title be? And just for fun…what movie star would play your role?

I love to write. Even as a child I loved to write, as long as it was my own idea. I remember sitting in a small room at the front of our house that my mom used as a sewing room. When my grandmother came for a visit, I’d sleep in this room. It had the most comfortable bed in the world (what our family referred to as the ‘slab lounge’).

It was the site of my first story. I was perhaps 9 or 10 years old, and I was infatuated with the FBI, so of course my story was about them going after a bad guy by the name of Shootist Mc Rowan. It was about ten pages long, but it pleased me to be able to say I’d written something, even if the only person that knew about it was me.

Fast forward over fifty years, one wife, two children, two careers, three grandchildren and the freedom of retirement. If you’d asked me if I’d ever thought I would be a published author, I would have said it was ‘highly unlikely’.

But life has a way of contradicting us.

Currently I’m writing the fifth book in a spiritual fiction series titled. Little Buddha (Books One-Four). It may seem boastful, but I can’t help it, I am in love with the characters, each of whom ‘speak to me’. They guide the series wherever it goes, and I follow along. I get to be a contributor, but am mostly the scribe, enjoying the cast and learning from them. It’s an incredible dance and I couldn’t be happier that they’ve invited me into their world.

What if you could write your own story, not the kind I’m writing, but a story about you.

I suspect you already are. I suspect you’ve been writing it for a long time and that parts of it may feel like they are cast in stone, unmovable, unchangeable.

It feels to me that we all do this every day of our lives. We tell ourselves what we need, have to, or should do. We may alter our supporting cast by discontinuing some characters or search for new ones we believe will be better for us.

But the central core of the story is ours. What are you telling yourself? Are the words harsh, judgmental, untrue, indifferent? Or do you offer yourself congratulations, give yourself freedom to make mistakes, learn, grow, love?

What if you could re-write your story?

What would you change? If you took a few moments to consider this, what would you write down? If you’re feeling courageous, you could even do that right now.

I know it might be difficult but imagine the rewards you could reap.

When I turned seventy (still hard to believe I’m that old, since I still feel mentally like I’m 24) I had some intense feelings about my story. I’d been telling myself for years that my physical health was sliding. I couldn’t do all the things I’d been able to do, or at least not easily, and I worried that I wouldn’t be able to enjoy my ‘golden years’.

So, I decided it was time to change my story and tell myself a new one. I focused a tremendous amount of energy on my physical being. I changed several eating habits, increased my exercising and walking, altered my vitamin regime, began a weigh weights program, increased my chiropractor, massage and energy work therapies, and added a whole new element to my routine- cold water therapy, which if you’ve been with me, you read about recently.

What this tells me is that I am in charge of my own story. I don’t have to believe what others say about ‘older people’ nor what the news tells us.

I can believe what I tell me. I can write my own story.

And so can you. And you can do it about anything if you really want to. There is no shortage of folks who will help you if you need assistance. You just need to ask. I hope you do.

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Starting Over

If someone approached you and asked, would you like to start over, would you accept their invitation?

Would there be any hesitation on your part? Maybe you’d need to spend a moment considering what aspects of your life you’d want to change, to begin again.

If I gave you a few moments and invited you to do a little inventory, what do you suppose you’d come up with?

I’ve been thinking about this for a couple of weeks now. While it might have begun as a fun exercise, it’s turned into something much more engaging, and I find myself drawn toward it in a way I didn’t expect.

I started out wondering about things like, my eating habits, physical exercise routines, sleep patterns, and how I spend my leisure time. These things are important to me, and I have made numerous changes, and each change feels positive to me and gives me a sense of satisfaction, as long as I consider them ‘aims’ and not ‘objectives’ (see my post on this subject for more, if interested).

I found I needed to move beyond these. Something else was calling to me. It didn’t appear immediately, as if it might want to stay hidden.

What could it be?

As I often do, I sat back and gave myself a few moments of quiet to consider. I wanted to open up some space inside me to receive an answer. I’m tempted to move too quickly, as if I will run out of time, so I don’t always give myself a chance to listen. I have to temper that default setting, so I sat in silence and waited.

What filled the gap surprised me.

I felt an overwhelming sense of pressure on my chest, like a very heavy weight was laying across me, forcing me downward. I knew at once what it was.

It was the weight of all of my cultural training. All the things I’ve been taught to believe, regardless of whether they make any sense. It’s interesting to me that they are not all spoken things. Many have been absorbed from what I see modeled around me. I take them all in and they sort themselves into places inside me. They fit into file cabinets I can’t see but know are there and they come out whenever their name is called.

I know it’s going to be challenging to sort through them in order to know which to keep and which to release. So much so, that I’m not sure I’m equal to the task. That is until I realize how much the ones that don’t benefit me, weigh me down and hold me in place.

I am tired of this constant process. I am tired of living with these inconsistencies and untruths. And this becomes fuel for me. It propels me forward.

You might be wondering, what cultural trainings I am talking about. I am too. I don’t believe I know them all. But I do know enough of them to get started.

Here’s one.

Part of American culture is expressed in the statement, “All men are created equal.” I have so many problems with this. For one, it’s the use of the word, “men”, rather than “people”. I rail against the idea that my wife, daughter, granddaughter, mom, sister, and all other women would be immediately excluded. Some would say, give our forefathers some slack, they were only using the language of their time.

I can’t. I won’t. It would not have been any more ‘right’ then, than now.

Even if this word were changed, the idea itself is only given lip service in our culture. We are not treated equally. Anyone with eyes can see this any day of the week.

We are not equal, but I don’t believe that’s even the key. What feels right to me is that we are all unique, all worthy of love, all part of the divine. What separates us from seeing this is what our cultural training teaches us.

That’s one thing I aim to change while I start over.

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Cold Water

Are there times when you receive the same message over and over again? It may come from different sources, but the intent seems clear.

This happens to me every once in a while, and I’ve learned to pay attention and let the messages soak in. I allow them to roll around in my mind and see what they have to offer me. Most of the time, they are full of surprises and run off in numerous directions, but they always end up feeling important.

The most recent instance of this occurred a couple months ago. It started with my son, Tommy, mentioning a Netflix series titled, Limitless, that he thought I might find interesting. It was a brief series about Chris Hemsworth’s (yes, Thor) pursuit of improving the quality of his life by engaging in several different endeavors. Although I found the entire series fascinating, and Chris’s conviction, strength, and endurance remarkable, what really spoke to me was his cold-water experience.

After some preparatory training he ended up swimming in a wet suit through frigid water for a significant distance to test his physical and mental abilities to withstand the torturous swim out to a buoy and back. I am amazed by his passionate pursuit and his desire to improve and extend the quality of his life.

At the end of each episode Chris shares some of his ‘take-aways’ and mentioned that a part of his plan was to end his showers with 30 seconds of cold water. He’d learned that cold water enhances our immune system and he wanted to capitalize on that advantage.

I thought about this and decided that I wanted to do the same thing.

Soon after making this decision, I received five more confirming messages about the cold-water experience and its value.

Okay, I got it!

So, I began ending every one of my showers with 30 seconds of cold water, not only while standing with my back to the water, but another 30 seconds while facing the icy stream. WOW! Incredibly bracing!

I wondered whether I could stand doing this day after day. Did I have the stamina and the drive it would require? Only time would tell.

Fortunately, what I did have was a sense of purpose. I wanted the positive effects this experience would create by improving my immune system. I really wanted this.

It’s now been 70 days since I began, and I haven’t missed once. In fact, I’ve extended my times of exposure from 30 to 60 seconds per side. It takes enormous disciple on my part to do this every day, but I immediately feel the benefits and sense they have a compounding positive effect on my body.

I’m not sure if I’ll extend the time further, but I am planning on participating in the next Polar Plunge. This is an annual event held in Lake George (NY) in January, where participants swim in the freezing cold lake water. I’ve had this on my bucket list for a long time but have never been serious enough to pursue, until now.

So, what’s the point of this post if you’re not interested in ruining showers for the rest of your life? Well, for me, it represents a major change in what I think I am capable of. If I can do this hard thing, what other hard things can I do?

I’m now focusing some attention on my sleeping patterns and my breathwork. I know they need a lot of fine tuning and it’s great to know that I will be the recipient of whatever benefits happen. To know I am able to make lifestyle adjustments gives me hope and reminds me that I am in charge of my own life.

What hard things might you be capable of? What benefits might happen in your life if you make some changes?

As I discovered with the cold-water experience, I’d only know if I tried.

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Aims and Objectives

Do you have any aims and objectives in your life? If you were to list them, what would they be?

This question intrigued me, and I wanted to pursue it, but felt that first I needed to define both terms. Were they different or versions of the same idea?

After some thought I came up with the following.

Objectives felt like solid goals. They are definitive expectations which I pursue with the firm conviction of accomplishing them. They are measured by ‘completion’.

Aims felt more fluid. They are intentions that I set, with the hope of experiencing them. My aims are movements toward ‘progress’.

Once I sat back a bit, I could easily see how different these two concepts are. One is heavy and the other is light.

For me, aims and objectives set up a basic framework for my approach to life. What I have to share may connect with some of you, either because you feel the same way or because you know someone else who is like this.

When applying these concepts, I found that they have to become practical to mean anything to me. There has to be something specific to sink my teeth into.

I though back over my life and one truth became apparent to me.

In almost every case, objectives only felt valuable if I accomplished them all. Whenever there was something left undone, it plagued me and reduced my sense of self-worth.

In contrast, aims offered me flexibility, room to grow, and a way to alter my perspective about my pursuits. In short, they gave me freedom and allowed me the opportunity to enjoy the progress I experienced.

I thought I’d share an example with you from my life.

I used to be a White Knight.

A white knight is someone who feels the need to be a savior on some level. Although a white knight can be helpful to have around, they end up stealing other’s ability to stand on their own and only offer the white knight a sense of self-worth if they are rewarded by someone else.

As a white knight I felt it was my responsibility to save people, to please people, to right wrongs, and to protect the ‘little people’. These responsibilities created all of my objectives. And as you can probably guess, I was never wholly successful and as a consequence, I always experienced frustration and a continual depletion of my own worthiness.

It took many years for me to see clearly how this approach to life did not benefit me or anyone else. And yet, seeing something and doing something about it are two very different things.

I’m sure it wasn’t a change that happened in one singular moment, but that’s how it felt. There was a dawning and a major shift because at once, I knew that embracing ‘aims’ was my way forward. That, and being honest with myself, even if that meant moving into uncharted territory.

I realize my aims might sound unusual to you, but it’s truly what I feel, and it represents the light I aim to step into.

I aim to be a divine messenger. I aim to invite people to experience new thoughts and ideas. I aim to aid, encourage, and support folks during their earth walk. I aim to assist others with finding their own clarity and making choices which benefit them on their path through life. And I aim to experience JOY while in the flow of my own life.

Releasing objectives and embracing aims offers me a world of freedom and opens me fully.

My hope is that you find your own right path.