Tag: directions

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Second Chances

I believe in second chances.

I’ve seen them arrive in my life from many directions. Sometimes given to me and sometimes given by me.

When I was in Junior High School, (yes, there was such a thing at one time), I lived so close to the school that I had to walk back and forth each day. There was a short way and a long way. The short way was initially my preference because it meant I got home for cookies sooner. The downside was that there was a group of bullies that often walked the same way.

A friend of mine, who walked with me, and I were consider great sport for them. Insults and taunting, snowballs in the winter and threats and chasing whenever the mood stuck them. Not fun! And remember, this was long before bullying was taboo in schools.

Somehow my friend and I made it to Senior High School. The bullying subsided, probably because, in addition to living far enough away to be able to ride the bus, they were fortunately on another route.

Fast forward about twenty-five years.

I was a Branch Manager for Albany Savings Bank and had just transferred to the Delmar branch. Part of my job was to interview and hire all of the staff. Applications were forwarded to me for review by Personnel. A batch came one day and guess what? One of my candidates was one of the kids that bullied me in Junior High School.

I had total control over who I interviewed.

So, what to do?

I was curious about him. How had his life unfurled? Was he still a bully? Would he remember me? I wanted to find out. So, I had Personnel set up the interview.

A few days later it was his appointed interview time. I saw him as he walked into the branch. He showed no signs of recognizing me, not even my name, when I introduced myself. During general conversation he understood I’d gone to the same high school he did and during the same years, but nothing else. Not from his side or mine.

I liked him. I could tell he’d led a troubled life but was trying to put things back together.

I hired him on the spot.

He did a good job as a teller. Not flawless, but respectable, and he was very good with our customers, which was a high priority for me.

It seemed that when I was called upon to oversee any of his transactions, he was a little nervous. It was like this every time.

A few months later apparently, he couldn’t stand it any longer. He came out front to see me.

I looked up and he began speaking, “Rob, you know who I am don’t you? You know I used to give you a hard time on your way home from school, right?”

“Yes,” I said.

His baffled look told me a lot. “Then why did you hire me,” he asked, obviously confused?

“Because,” I responded, “I believe in second chances…yours and mine”.

It didn’t appear that he understood, so I continued, “by hiring you, we BOTH got a second chance to see who we want to become in this world.“  

I am very glad that I made the decision I did. I think he was too.

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Kindness

Here’s an opportunity to try something new. To open a door in your world and see where it leads. What beautiful shift might occur in your outlook if you allowed yourself some freedom. Freedom to explore some new spiritual practices. Ones that appeal to you and offer hope and excitement and a sense of connection, perhaps to an inner part of you or perhaps to what you think of when you hear the word, ‘divine’.

Ready? I’m going to assume that you said ‘yes’, and I’ll keep going.

Although there are literally hundreds of directions we could go, let’s take just one step and see what happens.

Spiritual practices offer us every possible direction, so we can go inside or stay outside. For this exercise, let’s do both at the same time.

It will be fun. I promise.

So here it is…spend a little time and create an “intentional act of kindness plan” for the next seven days. I say, “intentional”, rather than the more common term of “random”, because I believe the creation of a plan IS “intentional”. You’re doing it “on purpose”, not with a specific idea of how it will turn out, but because you want to be present and somewhat purposeful.

I’m going to suggest that you start out with creating ideas. What acts of kindness come to your mind. Just let them pop into your head and write down a bunch of ideas that appeal to you. Once you have them captured, say each one out loud and see which ones your heart is drawn to.  Make a list of 3-5 ideas (or more) that you want to put into practice during this week.

Once you have your list, imagine what you need in order to perform these acts of “intentional kindness”. Remember that they can cost you nothing or something. That part is entirely up to you.

How are you going to create some magic for someone else? Who will it be? When will you do these things? Plan it out a bit, but not too much. This isn’t intended to be a chore for you. It’s not another “to do” item, but rather an overflowing from the joy that lives inside of you, now and what is to come.

Okay, so now you have your plan.

One more thing. I’m going to suggest that you perform some acts of kindness anonymously and some where the person you’re doing this for knows that it is you. I’m very curious to know if that changes anything about the experience for you, so I’m going to ask you, if you are willing, to record your feelings about each one of the “intentional acts” you perform. That’s really a big part of this exercise.

That ought to be enough to get you started.

I would like to share with you that for my sixty-third birthday I performed 63 intentional acts of kindness. It was an amazing adventure. I learned so much about myself throughout the process, which actually took me all month to complete.

I was constantly surprised, amused and overjoyed by my experience. I found deep connections are always within reach, as long as I was willing to take one simple step.

I wish you well on this journey and would love to hear whatever you care to share.

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