Tag: experience

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Special Connections

One of the most beautiful things about life to me is that anything can become a beautiful divine moment.

It may be momentary, like a dew drop laying on a spider web glistening in the sun. Or it could be a lifetime friendship that begins with one word.

Never knowing feels like part of the magic and mystery. I’ve had lots of these moments during my life. I wait and I watch for them. I encourage them and it feels like more come when I am paying attention to life, rather than getting caught up in daily routines.

I worked for a non-profit agency and one of the opportunities each employee was offered was to wrap Christmas and Hannukah gifts at a local bookstore. Whatever the purchaser paid would be given to our agency to help fund our outreach into the community.

There was a sign-up sheet posted so I decided to book myself for an hour or two. I didn’t know very many of our staff at the time since I was new to the organization. That didn’t matter really because it seemed like such a nice thing to do and maybe I’d get to know someone better.

Well, imagine two strangers sitting waiting for folks to stop by and ask them to wrap presents. What else is there to do but talk? Ordinarily talk is about the weather or what you did over the weekend, not about things that really matter. Not about sharing from your depth with someone you barely know. Not about meeting somewhere in the middle of our earthly existence to see past everything else, to someone’s core. And not about saying out loud what you’ve never said before. Not about showing trust and not about believing someone could care enough to hear what you have to say.

These things just don’t happen.

But, in this case, that’s exactly what did happen.

I met a new friend, Carla, who would become one of my all-time favorite people and despite the fact that we live over a thousand miles away from each other and don’t talk very often, I still know in my heart we are deeply connected.

No subject seemed to be off the table that day while wrapping presents. We moved easily from one subject to the next. And we thoroughly enjoyed interacting with our customers, feeding of each other’s pleasure and the magic of the season.

I enjoyed the experience so much that I cut out a section of the paper we were using to wrap presents and wrote our names and the date on it and placed it on my bulletin board at work. It remained there for the thirteen years I worked there and came home with me.

Is it possible for me to tell anyone else how I’ve changed because someone else trusted me enough to be honest with me? Did I know then what beauty would be mine today because someone shared their truth with me?

It is one of those rare times when the giving and receiving mixed so thoroughly that we could not tell one from the other.

So, what did I learn that day?

Plenty. I learned that when you offer yourself the freedom to be a part of someone else’s life, you always profit, even if for only a moment. I learned that sharing is one of life’s most treasured gifts. I learned that taking one step can lead to a whole lifetime of rewards. I learned that by allowing myself to be honest, open, and trusting, I gain trust, openness, and honesty in return.

And I learned that there is magic and mystery in every moment I am prepared to give myself. I believe this is something worth remembering.

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Teachers

Do you have a favorite teacher?

I’d be curious what it is or was about them that made them your choice. Maybe they brought something out of you that you didn’t think you had. Maybe they encouraged you, gave you emotional support as well as knowledge or perhaps they demonstrated a belief in you that inspired you. It could also be they lead by example, showing you what was possible.

When I think about the teachers from my past, there are several who stand out.

When my family moved from Watertown to Delmar, New York when I was eight years old, I was signed up to go to Elementary school a couple blocks from our house. Although I’d completed third grade, my new school wanted me to repeat it because I’d missed too many days. They were adamant, regardless of the fact that all of the days were due to excessive snow fall during the winter.

I was not happy and didn’t want to repeat third grade. After a week or so it was apparent that I had learned the third grade material, so I was allowed to move back up to fourth grade. Since I was new to the school, I didn’t know anyone, either in third or fourth grade and that made the situation even more difficult for me.

But things changed for me the moment I met my fourth grade teacher, Mrs. Hosey. She treated me as if she’d known me all my life. I didn’t get preferential treatment, I got the same love, caring and devotion she gave to all of her students.

The whole year was magical. She helped make everything interesting and she found a special place in my heart.

I guess I made an impression on her too because about eighteen years later she made a special trip to open up a new account with me at a bank I was working at. She said she wanted to support me in my career. What an incredible gift she gave me, to know that I was loved.

When I went to college I felt completely out of water. Everything seemed challenging and I relied on my college advisor to smooth some of the way. Unfortunately, she recommended a four-credit science class more suited to pre-med students than to me for my first term. I got a D minus which wreaked havoc with my cumulative average. In fact, it landed me on academic probation. If I didn’t get my act together, I was going to Viet Nam.

Here’s where things changed again. Enter another one of my favorite teachers, Dr. Keiter from the Religion department. He taught a fascinating course and we clicked. I got an A minus and dug myself out of the hole I was in. Better than that, I found a kindred spirit. I took every course I could with Dr. Keiter and found them all extremely worthwhile. He was approachable, thoughtful, curious, and appreciative, all qualities every great teacher possesses.

The other college professor who helped change my life was, Dr. Bocher, who taught a course titled, Conversations In Biology. If I had taken that course first, I might have pursued a career in science, because she made it both intriguing and delightful. With her passion and teaching style I understood at a basic level, then was able to extend to more and more complex concepts. She was also approachable and would answer all my questions, often remaining after class to do so.

Many years after graduating I saw a notice in my college newsletter stating that Dr. Bocher was in an Assisted Living facility and would love to hear from past students. I jumped at the chance to tell her how much she meant to me. I never received a response but am trusting that she got my letter and knew how important she was to me and how significantly she’d influenced my life.

So, when you think back about the teachers in your life, are there some who helped inspire you or changed your life in certain ways? Perhaps you are a teacher and do this for others. If so, bless you.

I think in many ways we are all each other’s teachers.

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Feel Good Opportunity

I confess, I look forward to any opportunity to increase my sense of happiness and joy. Perhaps you do to.

Well, I have a suggestion for you. But first I want to preface by saying that I received this idea one day via email at work. I was so impressed and excited, I decided to invite my coworkers to join me in giving it a try.

Here’s the email I received.

One day a teacher asked her students to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving space in between each name. Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down. It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed in the papers. That Saturday the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a separate piece of paper. And listed what everyone said about that individual. On Monday, she gave each student his or her list. Before long the entire class was smiling. “Really?”, she heard whispered. “I never knew I meant anything to anyone!” and “I didn’t know others liked me so much”, were most of the comments. No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. She never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn’t matter. The exercise accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and with one another. That group of students moved on. Several years later, one of the students was killed in Viet Nam and the teacher attended his funeral. She had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin. He looked so handsome and mature. The church was packed with his friends. One by one those who loved him took a walk by his coffin. The teacher was the last to bless the coffin. As she stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as a pallbearer came up to her. “Were you Mark’s math teacher?” She nodded, “yes”. Then he said, “Mark talked about you a lot.” After the funeral, most of Mark’s former classmates went together to a luncheon. Mark’s mother and father were there, obviously waiting to speak to his teacher, “We want to show you something,” his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket. “they found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it.” Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded, and refolded many times. The teacher knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which she had listed all the good things Mark’s classmates had said about him. “Thank you so much for doing that,” Mark’s mother said. “As you can see, Mark treasured it.” All of Marks’ former classmates started to gather around. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, “I still have my list. It’s in the top drawer of my desk at home.” Chuck’s wife said, “Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album.” “I have mine too,” Marilyn said, “It’s in my diary.” Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group, “I carry this with me at all times. Vicki said without batting an eyelash, “I think we all saved our lists.” That’s when the teacher finally sat down and cried. She cried for Mark and for all his friends who would never see him again.

This story had such a profound impact on me that I decided to try it at work. I had no idea whether my coworkers would participate, but I hoped they would. I explained the idea and provided an employee list of everyone at our agency, leaving space for them to make positive comments and telling them they could use the back of the paper too, if they wanted. I gave them some time to complete it and return it to me and told them I would give each of them their custom list with everyone ese’s comments once I had a chance to write them out.

I wondered if there would be any crazy comments that I might feel compelled to edit but there weren’t. They were all wonderful and very complimentary. It was a joy to complete each employees list and to see what they all said about me.

I handed each person their list.

As with the teacher, I didn’t hear much feedback, only that it was a nice thing to do.

Personally, I love my list. There were so many complimentary things said about me. I immediately posted on my office bulletin board and often stood in front of it and reread them all, especially on some of my tougher days at work.

Many years later, I still have my list and every once in a while, I’ll run into a former coworker, and they’ll tell me they still have theirs too. So cool!

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Letting Go

I made a promise to myself in October of 2020, that when I started writing these posts twice a week, I would be honest. I would tell my story without holding back. Without being afraid you, as a reader, would turn away from me.

Without the truth, what do we have?

Today I want to share a poem I wrote several years ago. It was true then and is true now.

Since I was young, I’ve felt a special connection to Jesus, who I now call, Yeshiwa (Yeshua), his name in his native tongue of Aramaic. I wrote this poem as a conversation between us, a way of gaining a better understanding of my life and finding a way of letting go.

I’m sure you have your own sense of what the truth is, and I would never ask you to accept anything I have to say (ever) if it does not feel right to you. My role in this life and with these posts is to share with you what feels true to me and invite you to decide for yourself. Being connected is its own divine gift.

So, here is my conversation.

I am connected to you

I feel it all the way through me

I know I can be you

If I am prepared

If I find the way

The narrow path

I wonder

What will I have to give up

Change, surrender, abandon

I wonder

How is it possible to open

As wide as you

What sort of strength will that take

Who can help me

Can you, do you want to

Must I make a hole in my roof

To be in your presence

I am listening closely

For your voice

Your touch

Your certain peace

My heart hears you calling me

I am invited into your courtyard

You wish to speak with me

It is hard to calm my spirit

To slow the questions

Difficult to breathe

I want to give you my heart

I volunteer it

You say that it is not necessary

That you have your own

That I need mine

You want to make sure

I am listening

So you wait

Till my eyes are soft

My heart quiet

I hear your words

Inside of me

Hard words for me to understand.

You tell me not to try to be you

There is only ever going to be

One of you

I misunderstand

I think inside me

A soft scolding

How could I think I could be you

But that’s not it

It’s not what you meant

You were clear

But I am cloudy

You try again

You ask a part of me to let go

To relax into silence

So I can truly hear you

I ask my ego

To lie down

And take a nap

And when I hear it snoring

I open as wide as I can

And you start again

You say there is only ever

One of each of us

We are different grains of sand that make up the beach

This is how it is

And it is beautiful this way

You fill me

With wonder

You tell me

That all of my trying

Has both made me who I am

And kept me from being who

I can be

And that it is time

To decide

There is no wrong decision

I can stay where I am

I love and am loved

Right where I am

And no harm will come to me

From not moving

From this place

Yet

I know

There is something ahead

Calling to me

I hear the most beautiful music

Pulling me

Gently into the light

Oh, the hallowed light

No more a dream

But real

How long I have waited

For this

You smile

You guide

You take my hand in yours

I could die happily

Right now in your arms

Oh, to be with you

I look into your eyes

I hear you

I hear you tell me

We are all each other’s saviors

There are other things

You want me to know

Am I ready

To hear them

I surely hope so

It feels as though a great deal

Depends on it

I hear you speak of freedom

Of letting my spirit go

Just simply letting go

I hear you tell me

To trust you

To trust me

That all this holding

All this planning

All this fear

About the future

About my present

It is so unnecessary

There is so much pain

Doubt

So many tears

You tell me

It was never meant to be this way

And that I never meant

To live this way

But somehow

I changed my mind

And although it has taken

A long time

I see now

Where my heart truly belongs

You ask me

If I am ready

I hear my own voice

Saying

Yes, I am ready

So ready

Now what

I ask

You breathe words into me

Give it all away

You say

Every last thing

Hold nothing

Hold nothing back

Hold nothing in

Let it all be free

Part of me understands this

Part does not

How

How is this done

I want to

I want to let go

Of everything

I can not hold the weight of it any more

I don’t want to

Are you sure

I ask myself

It’s hard to let go

Even though it is what I want

What I need

So I come to this

It is up to me to choose

And so I do

I choose to let go

And I feel

Something

Sacred happen

And

It feels like home

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Seeing Clearly

Do you know who you are?

Perhaps you get lost in the grand illusion of this life, making it difficult to see yourself clearly. Maybe you keep track of all of the events in your life, many of which you criticize yourself for, so that you experience challenges, and your true self remains hidden.

It is so easy to see only the surface of our lives, to score every perceived failure, to lament very unattained goal. We are tempted to regret every harsh word and gesture done by us or done to us.

Perhaps your anger holds you tightly in its grasp or you feel closed off from the world, drawn inward, needing to protect yourself. Maybe you are afraid to open to love, to be loved. Maybe the surface of your life is too real for you, and you find it hard to imagine knowing you are more than this. So much more than this.

Would you like to see with new eyes? With a new heart, one that sees the truth, the truth of who you really are?

Close your eyes for a moment. Imagine your eyes being washed, cleaned, refreshed, ready for new vision. Open your eyes and open your heart. Imagine you are facing a mirror. Allow your gaze to fall upon your reflection. Look deeply into your own eyes and know there is a depth to them that is infinite and that is connected to the one source of all power and love. To the divine center of all creation.

This is who you are…the eyes of love, able to see into every darkness and bring it light. Able to renew and refresh, to start again. And this time, to start with the awareness that you are made entirely of love. A radiance and brilliance beyond your present imagining. You are connected to the source of love. Connected in such a way that you will always be able to feel it.

This is who you truly are, love incarnate in the world. You are a part of the divine, living and moving in this beautiful world. In all things, you can choose the path of love. You are love.

Because you have been in this world for some time now and have listened carefully to what it says, you may be having a hard time believing this.

You might be asking yourself, how can such a claim be made? Where is the evidence…the proof of this?

You might not be prepared to take my word for it. I understand this. We’ve received so much training that opposes this perspective. We look around and notice how people are treated and can not reconcile how, if we are all love, how can so many hurtful things be happening?

So let me ask a question.

How can we see clearly that we are love and came from love when our observations of this world show us hatred, jealousy, contempt, oppression…and other manifestations of fear?

My answer is straightforward…we choose what to see and what to believe. And once the choice is made, we experience the outcome.

I believe that before we came to this earth, we existed as pure love. It is our true essence. However, since we have the gift of free will, we can choose any experience here on earth. If we choose fear, in any of its forms, we release our awareness of love and are trapped inside fear. From this place love appear unreal.

So, I invite you to choose wisely. When a decision point is reached, consider what you would like to experience the most in this world. Do you want to live in fear, or do you want to choose a loving path, one that connects you with others, supports you, encourages you, makes your life better?

It really is all about the clarity of our vision. Can we see what will come of our decisions? The better we can, the more wonderful a life we will lead. And knowing we are made of love can help us make an aligned choice, one that comes from our loving heart.

I hope you live seeing clearly.

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Everyone Is Worthy

I want to share a story from my life with you.

I know from personal experience, as I’m sure you do too, that sometimes we’re not treated as if we are worthy. It isn’t a very good feeling. I try to remember this and acknowledge the innate value we each possess.

One day many years ago, during a particularly hot summer, a man rang our doorbell. As I opened the door he stepped back and began his speech. He was trying to sell magazines to fund his tuition for college. He said it was a special program designed for people like him. Before I could ask, he told me who ‘people like him’ were. He’d had a tough youth, which was another way of saying he’d been in trouble all his life. He told me he’d grown up in the projects in downtown Albany and used to sell crack. He said he was really good at it, but not good enough. He finally learned you couldn’t survive very long doing that.

I think it’s possible to tell if another person is lying to you by looking into their eyes, if you can look long enough. I also think there are people who can stand the stare for a long time without showing the truth. I knew I wouldn’t have the length of time it would take, so I just decided to believe him.

I wasn’t the only one home that day. My son, Tommy, was there too. He was playing games in his bedroom, like any other eight-year-old would do and waiting for me to come back. I guess I was gone too long, so he came looking for me. He found me sitting on the front porch talking with a man he didn’t know. He watched and listened to us through the screen door. After a couple of minutes, he came out, sat next to me, and asked what we were doing. The man showed him the magazine choices we could make and made sure Tommy saw the one all about video games. He told Tommy that the subscription prices were the best and it would help him to be able to go to college and change his life. He told Tommy a bit about how it was for him growing up and how much trouble he’d gotten into. And that he’d been really bad but was hoping to get another chance. The order form had other people’s names on it, and he hoped we’d sign up for a couple of magazines. Tommy and I looked the form over. Tommy quietly looked up at me and said, “are we really going to order these Dad?”. I told him we were, and he looked at me with a funny, questioning expression.

The man seemed pleased with our order and told me he’d accept cash or a check. I asked him if he was thirsty and when he said yes, I offered him a soda, which he happily accepted. I went inside to get the soda and a check. I gave them to him, and we talked about things for a while. He wasn’t in a big hurry and seemed to like hanging around with us. Somehow, we got on to the subject of birthdays. I asked him if he could wait a minute because I had something for him, but I had to get it from inside the house. He said he’d wait. After a minute I was back and he eyed me kind of sideways, trying to figure out what I was doing.

I handed him some folded bills and told him it might help with his second chance. He looked at me in a way no one else ever had. It was part surprise and part disbelief. A look I’ll never forget.

He asked me why I was doing this. I asked if he had a birthday and he said, “sure.” I told him that as far as I was concerned, today was his birthday and this was his birthday gift.

He just sat there shaking his head for a long, long time. His eyes got a little misty and he looked away. When he looked back at me, he said, “nobody has ever done anything like this for me.” It apparently was beyond him to understand why anyone would do such a thing for someone they didn’t even know. In that moment, truth came into his eyes. The truth about the magazines and the truth about his second chance. He left a little while later. As he walked away Tommy asked me whether we were ever going to see the magazines. I told him that I didn’t think so. That same puzzled look came back to him, and he looked up at me saying, “then why did you give him the money?”

The man, who was almost to the corner by now, turned back to us. He smiled and waved. I looked down at Tommy and said, “that’s why.”

We never did get the magazines. And I never saw the man again. But it really doesn’t matter to me because we all changed that day and it is still one of my favorite days ever.

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Our Essential Nature

I believe that if we are open to learning, everything can teach us and that there is meaning in all that we experience. I also believe that there are valuable implications to everything in our lives.

Here’s an example from the other day. I grant you that at first glance it may not seem like much, but it helped me see deeper into my life.

I went to retrieve the newspaper from our front lawn. I opened the plastic bag our newspaper comes in to find that somehow the overnight rain had found its way through the bag and saturated one whole end.

Disappointed, I decided to hang each section on one of our drying racks, hoping it would be readable later in the day.

What struck me was the idea that each element, water and air, acts according to its nature.

The rain came and the water flowed naturally in all directions. It found the tiny pin hole in the plastic bag and seeped in, making part of the newspaper wet.

Water seeks to make all things wet.

Hanging the wet newspaper on the drying rack created space for the air to circulate, surrounding the paper from all directions. The air did what air does, it dried the paper.

Air seeks to make all things dry.

What has this got to do with you or me?

Quite a lot actually.

I wondered, what is my essential nature? What do I do regardless of my circumstances? How do I decide what directions to travel or what decisions to make about my life?

Fire seeks to burn everything. Earth seeks to return all things to itself.

What do I do? What governs my behaviors? What governs yours?

I want to feel joy, give and receive love, have adventures, connect deeply with others.

I want to do good things, be productive, help others, allow my heart to open wide.

What do you want to do in this world? What makes you feel most alive? What lifts you up and sets you free?

I want to be like water, air, fire, and earth. I want to move freely and act from my essential nature.

But what is my essential nature? Is it what I want, or what I feel I need or is it something else? Is it what rises out of me without any conscious thought?

For me, I believe I am here on earth to be an expression of the divine. I realize that may seem like a bold statement. That’s okay with me because I believe we’re all here for this reason, to live lives of connection, to be each other’s kin (family) and to live a joy-filled life.

I believe this is our essential nature.

Sure, other things get in the way. We become distracted by life’s events and demands. We become influenced by other’s actions and behaviors. But, if we look a bit deeper inside ourselves, I believe we’ll notice our essential nature is to be at peace, live in harmony, love and be loved. Acting from this place, we can naturally flow, just like water, air, fire, and earth.

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What Are You Looking For

Do you suppose that everyone is looking for something? Some extra portion of life? Some new spice, experience, dimension, or transition?

Are you?

If you are, do you know where to look?

This seems like a simple question, but it’s more than that. It’s the essential question. We have so many places and directions we can move, but how do we know for sure which will lead us toward what we want?

As you’ve observed by now if you’ve been with me for a while, asking questions is one of the main ways that helps me plot my course through life. Without questions, I wander, moving about aimlessly. I need focus and questions create pathways for me.

So, if you are willing, I’m going to take you on one of my journeys. In this case, it’s a somewhat poetic journey which starts with an important question. Because none of us is more important than another, sometimes it seems we don’t feel we can share what feels true to us.

I am taking a step. A step beyond my comfort level and placing words on a page, with the idea in mind that they may offer you something of value.

Who am I to speak to you?

And yet, who do I have to be?

Who do any of us have to be?

We all know a part of the whole.

I am wondering…

What do we look for in each other?

To be someone to help fill us up,

Someone to hear us,

To know why our heart beats?

Someone to touch our soul,

Someone to stand next to,

Or lean up against,

To help weather life’s storms?

Someone to remind us about love,

About why we’re here,

To ask us about our dreams,

To lead us forward,

And to catch us when we fall?

Someone to remind us that we are family,

That we’ve chosen each other,

To support, to suggest,

To increase our range and

Help us see beyond ourselves?

And someone to help us know love

Through both human and divine touch.

To me, what each of us may be looking for is found both inside of us and inside of others. When we connect, we’re bigger, brighter, bolder than we are alone. We need each other. We want each other.

Solely looking outside doesn’t work for me. Neither does looking only on my inside. I need both. I need insight and reflection.

How about you?

What do you need and where are you looking?

After years of searching, I settled back, relaxed my mind and heart, and waited for an answer. A divine connection appeared, and a voice spoke.

“You can look wherever you like, but there is one sure, true path.”

“Tell me please,” I asked, “what is this path?”

“Always choose love. Open your heart and offer love, to yourself and to all others. From here you will find all that you seek.”

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Making A Difference

I wanted to share some thoughts about making a difference. It could be in someone else’s life, but the one that really, truly matters, is making a difference in your own life.

To me the reason for that seems to be because once you find the inner strength to make shifts in your own life, it automatically changes the way you approach life…and everyone you come into contact with benefits from this.

I’m not saying this is easy. I know it’s not, but when you see value and worth in shifting some of your beliefs, everything can change for you in a good way. There might be some discomfort as you adjust, but life can be so much better than we imagine it.

My offering comes by way of a poem I wrote many years ago.

Imagine you had a chance

To make a difference in someone’s life

Would you take it?

(or) would you stand back

At a Distance

And ask yourself questions?

What would you need to know?

Would it matter what they were like?

(or) what they believed in?

If they were nice to their friends?

If they were mean to their enemies?

Would it matter

If they paid you

With money or

With kind words?

Would your eyes ask any questions?

Would your heart move you forward

Or hold you back?

Would you question your skill?

(or) wonder about your motives?

Would you ask yourself

If you were

Good enough?

Or do you know

That you already are?

Do you know how precious,

How priceless you are?

How every good thing is within you already?

How we are meant to be connected

To everyone else

With no lines,

No fences

And no hesitation

We are all a part of the same dream,

The same human form

The same essential heart

Imagine

You gave yourself

The chance to make a difference

In someone’s life

Imagine

That you realize

You always can.

A hope of mine is that you choose to shift and open to a wider world, one where you offer yourself a chance to make a difference in your own life and the lives of others. Bon voyage.

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Sacred Timing

I’m going to admit something right up front…I’m frustrated with an issue I think ought to be going a certain way and isn’t.

Does this happen to you? Maybe a little? Maybe a lot?

Whenever I’m faced with this kind of situation, I know I need to dig deeper and I sense a need to explore, even if I don’t have any idea which direction to move.

This same kind of experience has happened many times in my life. Certainly, enough times for me to recognize the telltale signs.

Maybe you face the same thing and maybe it’s difficult for you to make any headway too. If so, here’s a few thoughts that might assist you or provide some clarity.

The first thing to show up is an increasing sense of annoyance and frustration at not being able to make sense of something or fit it together properly. It’s rapidly followed by a realization that I feel blocked by some inconvenient, inexplicable obstacle in my way. Regardless of logic, reason, or any amount of brainstorming, I cannot uncover any solution.

It’s a terrible feeling for someone who likes order (like me).

Right at the moment there is a small spark igniting inside me providing a tiny amount of light, just enough for me to see. Just enough for me to believe there is an answer somewhere if I only look in the correct place.

But where is the right place? When you are faced with your own situations where answers are out of reach, where do you look?

A little light bulb goes off and I hear a small voice inside me saying, “You’re not finding the solution because it’s not time yet.”

What does that mean? Is there really a right and wrong time for any of us to experience something? Is there such a thing as “sacred timing”?

I want to know the answer, so I say to my small voice, “I don’t understand why. I sense you are telling me the truth, but I need to know more. I’m not good with mysteries like this. Can you please give me a little direction here?”

There is silence and I know I’ll benefit from calming myself down and preparing to listen carefully. I quiet my breathing and wait.

I believe ALL answers are open and available to me, but that doesn’t mean they will appear according to my perceived or expected timetable.

“There is sacred timing with all things,” the voice tells me. “When no solution appears, despite your best attempts, that’s a clue for you that you are not ready for the answer.”

I resist wanting to hear this and ask, “Not ready according to who?” I realize my response is a little edgy, but I can’t help it. Okay, I don’t choose to help it (which is different).

The voice takes no offense at my tone and offers me sweetness in return. “Not ready according to you”, it says, followed by “who else?”

This change of direction unbalances me, so I ask, “Am I to believe that I am blocking my own way forward and that I am manufacturing my own obstacles?”

“Yes. Sit back and let that sink in.”

I sit back and try to loosen my defensiveness and release my narrow thinking. I truly want to know what’s happening and somehow this change in my attitude opens a door. It swings away from me revealing something I had not expected.

What I originally wanted would have focused me on a priority that does not serve me. By that I mean, I might have achieved an intellectual goal, but I would have missed my true spiritual aim. By delaying, I offered myself time to see clearly what is most important to me.

The voice speaks softly to me, “You see now what I’m saying, that inside you there is a true voice that always offers you your best, most beautiful life. And it does this in accordance with sacred timing. You can always trust in this. Should you forget upon occasion, let a spark light your way and remember this conversation.”