Tag: shift

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Would A Smile Help

I pulled a card from my Four Word Question deck at random and ended up with this card…Would A Smile Help?

My first reaction was, yes, of course a smile would help no matter what was happening. Smiles are awesome.

I wondered why. What is it about them that is so appealing?

My answer is…because they change how I feel inside me. They brighten my day and connect me, to the world, to others and perhaps most importantly, to the divine.

It feels like a smile is an extension of the love that is offered to the world. Smiles feel like they are filled with good intentions.

I don’t think I ever smile and still have negative feeling toward the world. I suppose it’s possible, but not very likely.

Smiles are definite mood shifters. They may be difficult to put on your face during challenging times. When this happens, they prompt a question for me. Given the choice, where would I rather be, in a happy or unhappy state of mind?

The trick might be whether I can answer this simple question while in a bad mood, a sad mood, after a fight with someone, a depressing day or during a sickness.

Sure, when I’m feeling fine, smiling is easy and fun and I think anyone can do it, but what about during the tough times in my life? I wonder, what would it take to remind myself to smile? What trigger would shift me from frowning to smiling? Could I set some kind of internal alarm that would go off, sparking me to remember to smile?

I want that to be the case.

I’m not talking about a Pollyanna approach where I tell myself that all is right with the world even though it’s not. I don’t find lying to myself to ever be the answer.

Recognizing that at any time in my life I have a choice of how I want to live and experience the world opens me and offers me the opportunity to choose. I find I choose much better when there’s a smile on my face. How about you?

I’m not denying that things can feel out of control and sometimes miserable. They can be and at times, they are.

What a smile does is it sends a message to me and to the world that I am exercising my ability to choose how to see and experience the world. It’s an opportunity to shift my consciousness.

This is an incredibly easy solution for me. Afterall, how many simple, easily controllable things can any one of us do? One answer is that every one of us can smile.

I also think to myself, I am not alone in this world. I ask what sort of message do I want to send out? If given the choice, what do I want to offer others?

My answer is often the same. I want to channel the love I feel running through me from my divine source.

It is such a simple thing to do. All I have to do is…smile.

It feels good and connects me to others. And it’s also great when you receive a smile in return. It’s actually life giving and life affirming and one of my most treasured things.

I invite you to test this out for yourself if it intrigues you. See what happens when you smile, even during your most difficult experiences. I bet you’ll find it lifts you up and brightens your day. I ask you, who couldn’t use that in their life?

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Ideals

I like to explore.

Sometimes it’s a road I’ve never been on before. Other times it’s a new recipe that sounds good to me. That one will be hard to believe for those who know how limited my culinary tendencies are.

Recently I decided to explore a new idea and listened to a podcast by Sahara Rose, which featured Isis Indriya as a guest. Their conversation focused on Kemet, otherwise known to most of us as Egypt.

I have to confess that I have very little awareness or understanding about this culture, its traditions or history and didn’t feel especially drawn to it. That is, until listening to Sahara and Isis talk about it with such reverence, curiosity, and devotion.

Part of exploring to me is releasing myself from my preconceived notions and opening my inner world and absorbing the essence of what others share with me. It is often deliciously fulfilling, broadens my beliefs, and provides me with more to savor.

This was certainly the case listening to them.

Another part of exploring is learning to appreciate what other people and cultures have to offer, so I was particularly interested when Isis began explaining about a set of principles she uses to guide her life.

I am always interested in what other folks choose to orient their lives around, especially since many of us are prone to viewing our lives through narrow lenses or how we fair in comparison with social media.

Breaking away from this can be a wonderful shift and I’d like to tell you about one of the principles Isis shared. It’s called the 42 Ideals of Maat, who is a Kemetic goddess.

Don’t be scared away yet. I’m not trying to convert anyone, just opening a window that you may find expands your world in directions that serve you. I believe we can learn from every culture if we allow our minds to be open.

Isis shared a few of the Ideals, which intrigued me to look further because I liked them so much. They are a set of ideas that could assist anyone who desires to lead a truthful, just, harmonious, balanced life, which is something I want to do.

I’ll share the list with you, and you can see if any or all of them inspire you or draw you in.

I honor virtue, I benefit with gratitude, I am peaceful, I respect the property of others, I live in truth, I regard all altars with respect, I am sincere, I consume only my fair share, I have only good intentions, I relate in peace, I honor all creatures with reverence, I can be trusted, I care for the earth, I keep my own council, I speak positively of others, I am balanced in my emotions, I am honest in my relationships, I aspire to higher consciousness, I spread joy, I do the best I can, I create harmony, I invoke laughter, I am open to love in various forms, I am forgiving, I am kind, I am respectful of others, I release all judgement, I follow my inner guidance, I converse with awareness, I do good, I give blessings, I keep the waters pure, I am optimistic, I am humble, I achieve with integrity, I advance through my own ability and I embrace the All.

Admittedly that is quite the list and I find it difficult to accept that I would ever be able to live according to all of them, but that doesn’t change my outlook about embracing their value to me and consequently to the world.

I am strongly drawn to several of them, and I suspect if you spent a moment or two rereading the list there would be some you’d like as well.

As with everything I explore, there are aspects that I want to become an integral part of me. As I study the list, I find myself sensing the value of being a channel for good to enter the world through these ideals. It is my belief that heaven is a place of pure love and when I am aware of my direct connection with it, there is an opening within me. Through this opening all things flow and become ‘real’ in this world, encouraging attraction and even more love to be felt.

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Praise and Miracles

Do you receive praise for the things you do? Does it feel important to you? Do you offer praise to others?

I have a story to share with you. It’s part a book, Little Buddha Book Six, which is the most recent in a series I’ve written. The story comes about because one of the characters, Natalie, wants to see if she can write an engaging story that will appeal to a reader, to offer an important message and at the same time, limit the story’s length to less than three hundred words. Quite a challenge.

She used a picture to inspire her story of a stone roadway with homes on the left and right sides and poles with electrical wires connecting them.

One house has an exterior house light lite which casts a reddish glow on the stones.

Natalie’s story about a young boy goes like this…

I woke up on my mat next to my brothers and sisters and waited. My mother came in shouting, “Get up, get up, there is much work to be done.”

I stood, went to the stairs, climbed into the loft, reached for the broom, and began sweeping. I knew there would be an inspection, so I was careful.

I heard a noise and watched a mouse cross the floor. It tried to jump into a hole in the wall, but because it had eaten well, it could not fit. It leapt again, knocking a chunk of wall onto the floor, then ran in the opposite direction.

I went over to look inside the hole. I saw two disconnected wires and wondered about them. I twisted them together and finished sweeping the floor.

Later that night my father came home, “It’s a miracle,” he said, as he came through the door. “The light is on outside. How did this happen?”

My brothers, sisters and I stood in a line as we did each night, awaiting his approval.

“It was I father. I am your miracle.”

“This cannot be. You are just a boy.”

Hungry for a kind word from him, I said, “I twisted two wires together and the light came on. Are you pleased with me?”

He looked sternly at me and spoke, “Is it not enough that you know what you did, must you receive praise for it? A man knows what is important inside himself and does not need others to tell him. This is what my father taught me and what his father taught him.”

I felt downcast and pondered his words. I decided something in that moment. This would not be what I taught my son. I would teach him that he is a miracle.                  …end story

Even though I wrote the story, the ending completely surprised me, as if it had been supplied by someone else. I could feel the depth of the young boy’s reaction to the lack of praise he received, and the way his father’s words were spoken.

What I love about his reaction is that he promises he will live a different life and teach his son a different lesson. I can almost hear him speaking to his future son, telling him that he is precious to him and to the world, and that he is in fact, a miracle.

Imagine what kind of life that would create for his son, and also for his daughters. Imagine being regarded in such a positive manner, supported, encouraged, believed in.

I want to more than just imagine this in my life. I want to live it. I want to recognize the beauty and miracles that surround me every day.

Imagine what a difference this could make in the world if we treated each other as the miracles we are.

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Valuable Questions

I’ve discovered how incredibly valuable questions are in my life. Have you noticed this being true for you too?

A well-timed question can open doors you thought might never be opened or guide you in directions that provide insights you hadn’t anticipated.

Asking questions can narrow our focus so that we can feel, sense, or work our way forward. They can also prompt us to dive deeper and find meaning and purpose.

Asking questions was one of the main reasons why my friend, Cheri Warren (Website www.creativewarrens.com. Instagram @cheriwphoto. Facebook.com/creativewarrens) and I developed the Four Word Questions Oracle deck, also known as Self Discovery Cards. In addition to the questions I offer, Cheri provides stunning artwork which adds imagination, color, and beauty to the cards, making them immensely appealing. Together, we believe they have the power to spark your creativity and offer you clarity and insight in your everyday lives.

To give you a better idea of how it works I’d like to share a quick example, so you can see exactly what I mean.

There are 52 cards in the deck, along with two instruction cards, one section of which outlines three ideas for card spreads. A card spread is where you select four individual cards which represent meaningful aspects in your life. In the case of my example, I chose the card spread that focuses on, ‘influences, obstacles, solutions, and outcomes’.

It would take some time to review all four of the cards I selected, so I thought I’d center on one card for now.

The first card I chose proposed this question, “once free, what then?”, and represented the ‘influences’ part of the spread.

Occasionally, at first glance nothing of importance comes to mind, but I know if I stick with it, benefits will follow, as was the case with this card.

I wondered, what are the negative influences in my life? What impacts me the most and impedes my sense of progress, happiness, and hope?

Of course, each of us is surrounded by both positive and negative influences, but I don’t seem to pay as much attention to the positive, as I do the negative. How about you?

Maybe that’s because I tend to take the positives for granted, so my focus shifts to the negatives, the dramatic or the troublesome aspects of my life. And along comes this question reminding me that I have a choice. Further, it prompts me to ask a follow up question, sort of a part A and part B question.

If I allowed myself to release the elements of my life that I label ‘negative’, and free myself from them, ‘what then’?

The promise of liberation from these negative influences and the chance to embrace what I consider to be the ‘positives’, entices me forward.

There is excitement in the idea that this is up to me. No one outside of me is actually in control of my direction, despite any appearances to the contrary. I can choose my attitude and decide what to pay attention to.

Not bad observations for a card that at first glance did not seem to offer me much.

The rest of the reading increased in value and allowed me to adopt new beliefs, ones that serve me and bring happiness and joy into my life.

I believe this deck offers everyone this same opportunity and it is why Cheri and I believe in it so much. If you’d like a deck of your own, go to Cheri’s website: https://www.creativewarrens.com/self-discovery-cards and follow the simple directions.

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An Important Look Back

It was three years ago yesterday that I began writing these posts and I’m surprised and delighted that I’ve been doing them twice a week since then.

When I sat and thought about this, I realized that a lot has happened in the world over the last three years, especially due to COVID. And whereas that was and is hugely impactful, it’s not the only thing that matters.

If I asked you, what would you tell me about what has happened in your life? What would make it onto your personal highlight reel?

Have you found or lost someone significant in your life? Been released from a job or signed onto a new one? Have you traveled? Read a good book that still captivates you? Learned something new? Added to your family? Grown taller or shorter? I’ve lost a half inch in height, maybe you have too.

There is so much going on in our daily lives, it’s easy to lose sight of the bigger picture. We get wrapped up in all of the little stuff and sometimes miss what we ourselves say is most important to us.

When I stop for a moment and broaden my view, I find it enlightening. Opening up to a longer time span helps me to put things into better perspective. So, when I recognized that I’ve been offering my commentary through these posts for three years, I wanted to settle back and take a look at some highlights, and perhaps learn something important about myself.

I decided to write down some events and see if any patterns emerged.

Maybe you’ve done this same thing or perhaps you’d like to do it now and join me in a little life review.

Before I share some of my observations with you, I’d like to suggest a framework for us to use. It consists of four parts: 1) physical wellness, 2) human relationships, 3) creative expression and 4) spiritual connections. Of course, please feel free to use whatever framework you find most comfortable and let it guide your way.

During the last three years I’ve experienced a significant increase in my attention to my physical health and wellbeing, especially over the last year. Visiting my mom at the Nursing Home twice a week clearly had an impact on me and shifted my attention. I’ve made radical changes to my approach to health and have adopted many new (and better) practices to support my wellbeing.

While reviewing for highlights I recognized how fundamentally important human relationships are to me. Being with family and friends, sharing adventures, eating, laughing, traveling, doing arts and crafts, and just plain old spending time doing nothing together. The act of connecting is both sacred and special to me and a center piece of my existence. Despite some sadness in losing folks, there is great happiness and joy in connecting with those who are here, knowing there is deep love between us.

The last three years has been filled with meaningful creative expressions for me. During that time, I wrote three books, co-created an oracle deck, directed, and participated in a play performed at our church, and opened wide to my artistic self, creating what I consider to be beautiful acrylic art pours.

When I had finished focusing on these three aspects, I shifted my attention to the spiritual part of my life. When I am deeply connected spiritually, everything else in my life glows radiantly. Knowing I am part of the divine essence of creation (as are you) allows me to give and receive with joy and love in my heart. This is my lifeblood and I daily nourish my spiritual relationships and connections. This is what gives my life its meaning and value and I am a much better human being because of it.

So, what did you learn during your review? Are there ripe places to be explored? Gaps to be filled in? Wonderful, meaningful ideas to be pursued?

I hope that you found this to be as enlightening an exercise as I did and gained some valuable insight and inspiration.

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Removing Obstacles

Here’s a bold statement.

Everything I experience in my life means something and there is always a message there for me. I firmly believe this is true for me and I also believe it is true for you.

Here’s how it comes about. I’ll take ‘obstacles’ as my example.

I find that sometimes if I’m not feeling well, I don’t always want to get better right away, because then I won’t hear the message. I’ve discovered there is value in being patient, waiting, and listening. Then when I hear or feel something, it’s wise for me to encourage it to surface and come fully to my attention.

At one time in my life, I didn’t feel it was safe to breathe. Partly this was due to COVID and its respiratory implications, but not solely. There were other reasons why I was concerned about breathing. I felt like I needed a filter, something that would prevent irritants and pollutants from entering into me.

Although initially I was safety conscious about external things getting through my defenses, I soon realized that the internal things within me could be every bit as harmful. I also sensed that many things I feared were not real, they only felt real. The distinction however escaped me.

As I thought more about this, some specific fears surfaced. One of these was the fear of rejection. The belief that others would not be interested in anything I had to say, nor would they read what I had written. I felt strongly motivated to prevent this from happening, and recognized two detrimental aspects were involved.

I felt I was a prisoner because I thought I needed others attention. When this is your frame of reference, you never feel safe. A companion realization was that I had no control over what others thought, said, or did. No matter how attractive, insightful, or funny a thing was that I created, it might not catch others attention.

It’s easy to see how this is a recipe for an internal disaster. How is it that I sense rejection without knowing if it’s even present? This is what fear does to me though. It pushes me toward extremes and doesn’t want me to sit back or pause or consider. Fear likes it when I’m reactive.

Taking even one moment away from fear and asking the question, why do I need others to accept me or what I say or write? When I give myself this opportunity, there is space to breathe and embrace new directions. I can give myself a moment to ask, why is what I am doing important to me? What am I really after?

Because I paused, my answer is clear to me. I want to live from a heart of joy. One of the critically important steps for me to realize is that having to work my way through the obstacle of fear of rejection is a giant step along my path.

Without releasing this fear there would be no way forward. I see that it sat in my way, not as an obstacle, but as a signpost, guiding me to a better destination.

In this way my fear of rejection was an integral part of my path to living a joy-filled, joy-full life. And it can be for you too. You may need to substitute your own obstacle in place of my fear of rejection, but each and every obstacle is guiding us to our ultimate aim(s) in life.

Rather than resisting or turning back, when you meet your next obstacle, recognize that you have a choice. You can choose to see them as signposts telling you that they are not the way forward. You can shift and find what does work for you, what feels ‘right’ to you and what brings you joy or whatever you desire to reveal in your life.

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Better Decisions

I want to make better decisions. Ones that cause less pain and suffering. Ones that elevate me. Ones that work to my advantage and serve me. And ones that don’t cost me time, money, effort.

How about you?

Do you ever end up realizing that the choices you’ve made moved you in reverse somehow? Or that they’ve derailed you or created more problems than they’ve solved?

I was reminded recently just how easy it is for me to lose perspective and make a bad decision.

I was putting away some photo albums on a shelf near floor level. I thought it would be easy to lean down and slide them onto the shelf, but the combination of leaning forward while twisting was too much for my back and it immediately informed me of my mistake. It didn’t give me one of those horrific spasms, it merely tightened into a knot and refused to release. I tried icing it, a hot shower, muscle relaxation cream, gently stretching it…all my tricks. But nothing worked. It got worse and I knew if I didn’t get a chiropractic adjustment I was in for a long haul.

The funny (and not so funny) thing was that I believe there was a part of me that knew better than to lean over the way I did. I remember thinking it would be much smarter to move my massage table out of the way, set all of the photo albums on the top of the shelf within easy reach, and put a kneeling pad on the floor, so I could kneel there in comfort close to the shelf.

But I didn’t. I did what seemed easiest and told myself it would be okay, even though I really think I knew better.

So, why didn’t I make a better decision? That’s the questions that is lingering in my head.

Maybe you have situations like this in your life, where one part of you knows what the smart choice is, but another part of you acts before the smart part gets the chance. It’s almost like a contest between smart and easy. I want to call it ‘dumb’, but I’m not fond of offering myself criticism when there is a more productive way to view things.

How is it that you or I can shift toward making better decisions in our lives?

One answer that raises its hand, is to consider the likeliest outcomes of our choices. Using my example, I had to know there was a big risk of injury by not taking my time and using good techniques. I had to know that I might encounter significant pain and suffering, loss of sleep and quality of life. If I had weighed these probable outcomes versus the mild inconvenience of moving the table and getting the kneeling pad, the answer would have been incredibly clear to me. I don’t truly understand why I chose what I did but maybe that doesn’t matter. Maybe what matters is that next time I remember and make a better decision.

I think that’s one key. Remember the outcomes of our actions and consider their impacts, so that future choices are clearer to us. I definitely feel I’ll pay more attention when it comes to my physical movements, at least I certainly hope so.

Other ideas come to mind, and I prepare to listen.  

I could research for the best answers. I could weigh the pros and cons and see what directions they suggested. I could use my intuition to guide me. I could ask someone I trust and see what they suggest. Maybe they’ve encountered the same thing(s) in their life and could offer me sound advice.

One final thought comes to me. I could ask the divine for assistance. For me, this is similar to using my intuition, but even more powerful because it allows me to engage in a dialogue with my divine self, in my case Lia, an ethereal feminine voice that speaks to me whenever I ask for help, support or encouragement. Whichever direction you choose, I hope you find yourself choosing good decisions, ones that lead you forward into happiness and joy

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Anger

What generates your anger? Is it fear, perhaps of some outcome you don’t want to experience?

This is certainly true for me, and I wonder what I can do about it. Are there ways for me to block it, dissipate it, resolve it, avoid it, or allow it to pass through and out of me?

It feels important to me to understand anger better, so that I can decide how to respond. What I’ve learned so far is that I have trigger points, easily recognizable events that signal my anger is rising. And I understand that I need to make a conscious decision as soon as I feel the first spark fly.

I cannot always do this. It would surely be nice, but I can’t so far and I realize I may need some help to get there.

I wonder, why do I want to express my anger? What do I get out of it? It might feel good temporarily, in the heat of the moment, but I’m reasonably sure that it will wear off and I’ll be left feeling badly, knowing I could have responded better.

So, I’m back to my original question of why I get so angry sometimes. I’ve certainly seen it modeled in my life and I have precious little exposure to anyone who doesn’t express anger in theirs.

There are some folks who have been so thoroughly trained not to show anger that they hold it deep inside themselves until it explodes, often without any warning. That must be an incredibly difficult way to live.

What I want is to be in the presence of someone who allows anger to pass right through them without holding onto any of it. I want to know that secret.

But, since I haven’t met anyone like that, I am choosing to walk another path, one that leads to Lia, the ethereal feminine voice of god that speaks to me and offers guidance and support.

I sit back, relax, breathe in and out slowly and prepare myself to listen. I ask for help and open space for Lia’s magnificence to make a divine connection.

As always, she comes to me, ready to invite me into her depth. Here are the words she spoke to me.

“Like all things born of fear, anger arrives to redirect you to the truth. It is another message, a way of showing you the path that leads to love.”

“Anger prompts you to pay close attention to your heart. To release what your mind suggests, and your ego tells you is important and encourages you to shift to your heart and your spirit.”

“You know this is the truth because you FEEL it and you KNOW it. It is not up to me to convince you of anything. I merely point out the path you say you most want, the one that leads to joy.”

“When anger arises in you or in reaction to another, decide what is important to you, releasing fear and embracing love. It really is that simple.”

“If you wish to be free, choose love.”

I tried to absorb all of what she told me. I sat and let it soak in, every bit of it and I wondered whether there was anything else she wanted to tell me. I quieted, waited, and asked Lia if there was something more it would be helpful for me to know.

“Yes, know that practice creates change and change creates new patterns. Choose the patterns that reveal love.”

I am so grateful to know there is hope for me and for you too, if you choose this path.

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Your Autobiography in Five Minutes

I wanted to offer you a chance for something special today. It’s not my ordinary post because this one is more interactive if you choose it to be.

Would you like to participate in a challenge of sorts? If not, I understand, but if you’d like to learn something important about yourself, please consider joining me in writing a quick autobiography. Something that tells YOUR story. Your story, told by you.

Of course, it can take more than five minutes, but the essence of this exercise is to force you to grab the headlines of your life. To sift through what could be many years and let the prime stuff float to the top.

Here’s your chance to tell your story from your own point of view. You may wish to share it with others, but if you’d rather you can keep it to yourself.

Feel free to create your own format but try to stick with the five-minute timeframe and see what happens.

If you’d rather have some suggestions, here are some sample questions to get you started. Please feel free to substitute or add your own questions.

When and where did you arrive on this beautiful planet?

Who is your immediate family?

What effect have they had on you?

What are the most important events in your life?

What are the most fulfilling things you do during the day?

What have you accomplished during your life?

There, that’s it, unless you want to take a bit more time and consider adding a few more questions of your own.

In fairness, I’ll share some of my answers with you since I’m the one suggesting this exercise.

Personally, I found this exercise quite revealing.

I arrived in August of 1952, in Ogdensburg, New York to a wonderful set of parents and a sister who keeps track of all of my childhood memories. I owe so much to them for giving me a healthy, happy childhood. For buying me clothes, food, and providing me with a warm house to live in. And for moving us from my hometown, so that I could meet my extraordinary wife and have two spectacular children, who have brought three fabulous grandchildren into our lives. I love how my parent’s biographies led to mine, which along with my wife, link to the next generation and the next, forming a sacred continuum. I feel blessed to have my family in my life. They stretch me, give joy to me, push me in directions I didn’t think I was capable of, make me laugh, teach me things and both give and receive love.

It is really hard to choose only a few events in my life to claim as important because there are so many. I wonder how could I select only a handful? Beyond getting married, having children and being at the births of our grandchildren, getting off academic probation my Freshman year at college and not having to go to Vietnam, choosing not to go to seminary and become a minister, doing big and little things with my family, buying our house, paying for our children to go to college and saving for retirement rank right up there.

What about the most fulfilling things I do during the day? I start every morning by writing down at least five things I’m grateful for, my exercise routine, having breakfast with my wife, connecting with my children and grandchildren, writing posts and new books, walking in the sunshine, visiting my mom who turns 100 soon and connecting with friends far and wide.

And finally, what have I accomplished in my life? I have made a lot of friends, traveled to beautiful places, lived by my own moral code, shown love to others, especially my family and friends, donated to those in need, written books that will hopefully outlive me by generations and shared what I feel is the truth.

The curious thing about this autobiography was not only what I put in but what I left out. All the challenges, pain and suffering, heartache, and troubled times faded out of the picture. They just weren’t important enough to be mentioned. That says a lot to me.

I wonder what you chose to include and exclude.

I hope this was valuable to you and highlights the best of your life.

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Sharing Pain

An important question surfaced recently that I wanted to share with you.

It’s really more of a confession of sorts because I don’t feel it casts me in the greatest light. But I’m committed to telling my story as is, rather than what I want others to think it is. At least, that’s what I try to do.

My question is this…why do I feel a need to share about my physical pains with others?

Surely, they have their own. Do they really need to hear about mine? And I wonder, will it turn into a contest of whose pains are worse, a game that seeks to constantly up the ante?

Telling another about my pains and suffering might be okay if someone specifically asked me and wanted to know. Or if I was at a medical office, and they needed to understand my story in order to provide helpful solutions.

But ordinarily, do others need to be bothered by my list of aches and pains? I’m pretty sure they don’t.

If I’m paying close enough attention though, I hear my words and recognize I’m sharing my pains and sorrows and most of the time it’s unsolicited.

I encourage myself to sit back and open to what fills the silence. I allow myself to let everything come in, no matter how it feels.

Here’s what happens.

A series of answers march forth, one after the other, trying to educate me.

First to appear is a sense that I am asking for others sympathy, as if that will provide me with some useful energy. I’ve discovered, it doesn’t.

Next is a feeling that some part of me needs to complain, to say how hard I have it and how unfair it all is, in an attempt to elicit empathy or sympathy. Occasionally it works, but seriously, how often do others want to have to provide this to me. Afterall, they have their own issues and concerns and probably need the same thing from me.

Other times, I have a desire to be released from my pains and sorrows and am looking for legitimate opinions and suggestions from others on how to accomplish this. I need relief. But one thing I’ve noticed about myself is that I don’t always listen to what they have to say, or I listen and yet fail to do the things that might make my situation better.

This seems ridiculous to me. To receive great advice then disregard it…what sense does that make? Not much.

I wonder to myself, could there be something valuable in divulging my conditions? Might it open a door to a worthwhile conversation with someone, something beyond ‘misery loves company’?

It struck me that if I was open and sensitive to others, I might find some common ground, some territory to have a meaningful discussion, one that might go beyond physical issues. It might transcend the usual dialogue and delve into areas of commonality. We might be able to talk about our genuine feelings about our physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual lives.

That felt very different to me. Beautiful, in fact.

Maybe it’s not about what I share, but how I share. Perhaps it’s about coming from a place of compassion and love, rather than a place of need and fear. I think that next time I’m going to try to keep this in mind and rather than coming from fear I will seek to come from love, the source of all good things in life