Tag: stillness

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Stilling the Storm

I believe in the value of wisdom wherever you find it. Sometimes it’s found by observing the natural world. And, at other times, it can be seen through the eyes of a child or inside a vivid dream that connects you to the world beyond.

I believe we all have our own individual religious or spiritual paths to travel, so I tend not to advocate for one version over another.

For me, I’ve also discovered incredible wisdom in the stories from Yeshiwa’s life. Yeshiwa, being the Aramaic name for Jesus.

I feel a very strong connection to Yeshiwa. I feel and hear the messages revealed and they speak truth to me. I’d like to share one with you, but I understand if you need or want to shy away.

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There is a story about when Yeshiwa and his disciples were gathered along the shore of a great sea. They were sitting and talking and waiting for Yeshiwa to tell them what would be happening next in their lives. Where would they go and what would they be doing? Everything was so new to them. Many of them were fisherman by trade and understood much about fishing and the sea, but still knew almost nothing about Yeshiwa’s mission.

Yeshiwa spoke, telling them that he wished to cross the great sea and preach to whatever crowds would be there. So, they all got into a long wooden boat and pushed away from shore. Yeshiwa crawled toward the stern and immediately fell fast asleep.

The crossing would take many hours, as it was broad in this part of the sea and the current was running swiftly against them. Despite the disciples taking turns rowing, exhaustion overcame them all.

The fishermen were the first to become aware of a growing storm heading toward them. At first, the crests of each wave rose gently over the sides and spilled into the boat. But, as the fierce winds howled and the waves grew in size, more and more water filled the boat, threatening to overwhelm it.

Even the most seasoned fisherman became very afraid, worrying that their boat would sink and they would all be drowned.

The nearest to Yeshiwa shook him, over and over, until he awakened.

“Master, do you not see what is happening and how much danger we are in?”

Yeshiwa stood, raised his eyes to the furious sky, breathed out one breath and said, “Peace, be still.”

All was instantly calm and silent. And the sky returned to brilliant blueness and the water appeared as smooth as glass.

Yeshiwa sat and looked at the faces of his disciples. They were in awe. Never in their lives had they seen such a thing. How could this have happened? Who was this man, who had command over the wind and the sea?

Yeshiwa asked them, “Why were you afraid? Did you not know where to place your faith?”

The disciples cast their eyes downward and could not meet his gaze. They heard the gentleness in his voice, but understood so little of what he said and none could answer his questions.

Yeshiwa spoke to them saying, “Raise your eyes to mine my beloveds. Hear my words and place them deeply in your hearts, so that you may carry them with you always.”

“I tell you the truth, it falls to you to teach, as I have taught you. You are one with the Spirit and can not be separated. Not by wind or waves, nor by anything else that will ever happen in your lives. You may take this on faith, that you and I are one, always connected and never apart. No storm can change this, so be free inside your heart and rest in me.”

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I remember this story when my life is a storm. I close my eyes and fall into my heart, knowing that I am always connected, a part of the one. And I can say to any storm, “Peace, be still.”

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Expectations

I still find it upsetting when my expectations are not met. It doesn’t seem to matter what size they are, the unsatisfied feelings I get are pretty much the same. Some part of me knows there is a wealth of value in every experience of my life, but, when I’m in the moment, I often can’t see that.

Here’s a real-life example.

Despite all of my best efforts, my first website post wasn’t visible on Sunday, October 4, 2020 at 7:30am as I’d promised and I’d expected.

I confess, I panicked. I sat in front of my computer, frustrated, unhappy and frankly more than a little angry. And, I had no idea how to fix the problem. I believe I might even have said a bad word or two. Okay, I did say a bad word of two.

Even though I eventually found a work-around, I realized I had many more changes that needed to be made so that you could navigate more easily. And, so that you can share your comments and read those which others have written. I’m still working on these.

Looking back, I understand that I reacted very emotionally. Nothing specifically wrong with that, after all, I am human. But, were my reactions helpful and what might have served be better?

Well for one thing, I could have stopped and allowed myself to sit in stillness. I could have breathed in and out slowly until my emotions came to a halt. And, I could have allowed a part of me to stand at a distance and observe what was going on inside of me. From this place I could have acknowledged my feelings, encouraged them to speak to me and embraced them. If I had, I might have understood what was beneath the surface. I might have realized that each feeling came to serve me and offer me a message.

Many years ago, my wonderful friend and Unity minister, Jim Fuller, shared in one of his sermons that it is very important to ‘feel your feelings’. This idea was a foreign concept to me and had not been a part of my cultural training. And yet, I sensed how significant and necessary it could be for me.

So, I began expressing my feelings in a daily journal. It’s been almost six years and I’m still writing every day and discovering truths hidden beneath the surface.

And now, back to my opening paragraph about my unmet expectations. When I stood still and gently breathed in and out and let my intense emotions drain away, I found that my fear of failure sat directly on top of me. Fear that I could not manage the technology necessary to communicate with you. Fear, that despite my deep desire, I could not keep my promises to you and share my thoughts based on when I said I would.

So, I turned to Lia, one of my names for (god), which stands for ‘love in action’, and asked for her wisdom.

She reminded me of a simple, yet powerful message she’s offered me in the past, “just show love”. These words sunk into me and allowed the power of my expectations, and the fears underneath them, to fade away, replaced by a marvelous sense of love.

I hope to remember this wisdom sooner next time.