Tag: transformation

Posted on

Completion

A while ago I mentioned to you that I had chosen a task which would significantly challenge me. My son, Tommy, had told me about something called a Misogi.

Research informed me that it is an ancient Japanese Shinto practice where monks and their student would embark on a long journey high up into the mountains in search of a waterfall. The students, wearing thin short robes, would stand under the cold streaming water performing a ritual intended to purify their bodies and their minds.

An updated version is practiced by folks desiring to challenge and perhaps in some way, purify themselves. Those interested must choose something which they believe has a fifty percent or better chance of failure, and which will not harm themself or others.

I spent a bit of time wondering about this. It felt necessary. Important. Vital to me, especially because I wanted to perform it prior to my birthday.

I cast about for a difficult task and chose to walk from one end to the other and back on a Rail Trail close to my home. I speculated the distance would be somewhere between 18 and 19 miles.

The longest distance I’d ever walked in my life was a little over 16 miles and that was many years ago when I was in far better physical shape. Nothing much hurt in my body and I felt relatively fit.

I wondered, was it even possible for me to complete this journey?

Despite understanding how challenging it would be, I knew deep inside me that it was important. I could not have told you why, I just knew.

And so, I began to figure things out. I’d need to go on some ‘practice walks’, distances that would offer me a sense of what I might experience on my Misogi and prepare my body and my mind.

My first long walk was a little over 8 miles and my second just shy of 10 miles. Each of them provided keen insights I felt would ultimately benefit me.

Tommy asked if he could join me, which I immediately jumped at, knowing the shared experience would last a lifetime.

Today is my 71st birthday and I wanted to let you know that we completed the full distance (19.5 miles) last Saturday, August 19, 2023.

The significance of this adventure is still dawning on me.

We had a wonderful time catching up and sharing our lives, further bonding us. I am so grateful that we could do this together and know it would have been so much more difficult had I done this solo. We compared notes about our physical aches and pains and often checked our mileage to the finish line. When we made it, we celebrated with orange bubble gum cigars.

During the days that followed, I wondered whether there was anything in my life that was purified? Were some ‘contaminants’ removed? Did I feel cleansed in some way?

What was the purpose of my Misogi? Did I prove something to myself? Would I do it again?

If you thought about it, what Misogi would you choose for yourself? How demanding would it be? Can you tolerate the thought of failure? Are you driven by the allure of success?

In the end, I believe I wanted to test my sense of resolve. Could I, would I complete my chosen task, or would I give in? This task became less about success or failure and more about connecting to my inner strength. A strength that could overcome obstacles and challenges, regardless of the difficulties.

I freely admit I hit a physical pain wall at about 14 miles, and there was a moment of temptation to stop and give up. But something inside me refused to seriously consider the idea. I tapped into a reserve. I willed my body to continue moving for the next 5.5 miles, one stride at a time, knowing I could do it.

I think this is why I did this. To prove to myself that I could if I willed it.

I hope you can tap into your own inner reserve and accomplish whatever you set out to achieve in your life.

Posted on

Following Your Heart

Have you heard the expression, ‘follow your heart’?

What does it mean to you? How would you go about explaining it to someone else?

If you were asked whether you follow your heart or not, what would you say?

Since we can’t have a two-way dialogue at the moment, I’ll share what it means to me and then ask you another few questions.

A defining idea surfaces.

Is there a practical way to tell the difference between what your mind wants and what your heart wants? That feels like a tricky question for sure.

To me, the things that satisfy my mind bring me happiness, while those things that nourish my heart bring me joy. These two sensations feel entirely different. And while I like the ones that offer happiness, I love the ones that bring me joy.

Following my head (mind) prompts me to accomplish things by way of meeting or exceeding my objectives. I admit I have a tendency to grade or rate each of my experiences and I spend time evaluating them, wondering if I could have done better.

Unfortunately, when I don’t achieve what I set out to accomplish, I am often unhappy and can at times question my worth. While this is happening, I do recognize what a poor choice I’m making, so I try to create triggers within the experience. The triggers are sort of like check points, where I can shift away from my head and view things from my heart and my spirit.

But what does this mean and how can one shift?

A way that works for me is to stop once I recognize a trigger and observe how I am feeling. Is an experience making me angry, anxious, afraid, irritated? Is it providing me with a sense of temporary pleasure or a fleeting glimpse of happiness which I know will not last? If so, these signal me that I am focused on my mind and it’s time to adjust, to shift toward something more real.

When I follow my heart, I notice I set up aims, which are looser than goals. They flex and adapt, and I can experience life, finding what feels like open, free, flavorful experiences. Ones that I can savor and not lose. They last. They become ‘keepers’.

Recently I’ve been struggling with a set of decisions regarding which projects from my list I want to move forward with. Every time I begin the process I’m faced with a series of obstacles. They block my path, and I cannot see over, around or beyond them.

Fortunately, a knowing part of me realizes that obstacles represent triggers too, so I allow myself to move deeper into my heart, knowing it is my mind that is having the problem.

As so often happens, I call out for help from Lia, a divine feminine voice that lives within me. She awaits me at all times and is ever present in my life. I believe she is awaiting each of us, ready to share once we ask for her assistance.

Although I ordinarily gain valuable insights quickly, I discovered that I needed a series of conversations over several days to reach far enough below the surface to unveil what I needed to hear. Lia is always patient with me, giving me time to uncover for myself what I so desperately feel I need. In this case, she led me forward until I could see with crystal clarity. She offered me an image I could hold on to and use whenever I felt at a crossroad.

It was a bracelet with two charms hanging from it. One was labeled, ‘fear’ and the other, ‘love’. She said that no matter what I encountered in my life, my experience would be guided by the choice I made between fear and love.

I wanted to know more. I wanted to feel what kind of difference this choice would make, particularly when I reimagined the projects I’d been considering. So, I found my list and asked myself what would be the outcome if in each case I chose to look at them with love.

I know this sounds simple. I also know simple things are often profound.

When I reviewed my list, everything fell into place. Rather than feeling confused, everything was clear to me, and I now know what to do.

So here are my follow up questions for you.

Is there a way for you to imagine wearing a bracelet with two charms, one ‘fear’ and the other ‘love’? Can you use love to find a way forward, no matter what the situation is? Can you use your heart (and your spirit) to lead your way forward?

I hope you can.

Posted on

Growth and Expansion

Here’s a post you might want to ignore because I’m going to challenge you.

The challenge is about growth and expansion. I want to see if right now is the time for you to take a look at your life and decide whether you want more.

I hope your answer is ‘yes’ because I believe in you and your capacity for change, especially in those areas you feel drawn toward.

Recently, I watched a movie and one of the main characters made a statement that he wanted his name to mean something. Can you identify with this? I know I can.

He wanted to amount to something, and I had the definite sense he’d been told by others that it would never happen. Has anyone ever said that to you or perhaps made you feel your life didn’t matter in some way?

What others say to us can have a profound effect on our lives, both positively and negatively. It’s important to remember that ultimately, we are in charge. We are the ones who get to decide what to accept and what to reject. So, it matters a great deal what we end up telling ourselves.

If you stopped reading for a moment right now and thought about it, what beliefs are you embracing about yourself? What gives your life meaning and purpose? How does what you believe find its way into your everyday choices and actions?

These questions make me wonder several things.

Were you brought up to believe in yourself? Did others affirm that you could or would be successful in life? Or were you told that you would never amount to anything? That you weren’t good enough or fast enough or smart enough? Did you let others convince you or did you seek your own path?

I’d like to offer you a fresh start, a new opportunity, and a new way of viewing your life.

Want in?

How about this.

The first moment you get a chance (you may not have a pen and notebook immediately available) begin by writing down a list of ten things (or more, if you like) that call to you. By ‘call to you’ I mean topics that feel personally important to you to explore. Brainstorm your list, which means you don’t evaluate, you just write. They could be related to physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual pursuits. Whatever they are, write them down.

Once they’re on the page, you can take a second look and spend some time sitting with each of them to see which have the loudest voice inside you. It’s also here you can evaluate and see which seem the most realistic to you to accomplish, but don’t shy away if your inner voice calls you back to one of them. That’s a sure sign of its importance in your life.

Okay, you have your list, you’ve selected the ones that raised their hands and you’re ready to go. Pick one that you feel most drawn to and energizes you.

Now it’s action time.

Tell yourself that you have the power to make progress on this item, that it has called to you because it wants to live through you. It wants to come alive in this world and you are the one to give it life. Jump in. Get excited. Think of one or two or three practical steps you can take and then take them. And as you act, give yourself credit for choosing to grow and expand your universe, no matter what size your actions take.

I know you can do it!

Now go prove to yourself that you can do it. And with every action you take, shift your perspective, and believe in yourself. Grow and expand. You deserve it.

Posted on

What’s Your Mission

Something happened the other day and it really shocked me.

I listened to what I was saying and heard it in an entirely new way, and it made me wonder whether you’ve ever heard these words coming out of your own mouth…”I’m not doing this for the money.”

Or perhaps you may have said, “I didn’t take this job to become rich.”

Or maybe, “Somebody has to do this, so it might as well be me.”

It made me very curious, and I wanted to know what perspective would account for any one of these statements.

I repeated, “I’m not doing this for the money,” again and couldn’t help asking myself, “then why are you doing it?”

This seemed like an important question for me to answer. After all, isn’t it essential to know why you and I do things? What value is there in making a statement about why you or I are NOT doing something?

Isn’t it much better to spend our time exploring the reasons for our actions?

So, I shifted my mindset, and embraced the idea of affirming my positive reason(s) for taking specific actions in my life.

My statement, “I’m not doing this for the money”, in this case referred to my writing. I just finished my seventh book (Little Buddha Book Five), a feat I never in my wildest imagination thought was possible and felt I needed to declare what my motives were for these acts of creation.

I thought about this and focused my attention on what I WAS trying to accomplish and answered the following: ‘writing brings me alive, and through this process I give birth to characters and situations that inspires readers and invites them to explore and transform their lives.’

So, I ask you, if you’ve allowed yourself to focus on any statements that center on the negative, like the ones that began this post, is there a way for you to reframe them? Can you find a way to shift and discover or reveal the affirmative reason(s) why you ARE doing them?

I believe there are clear benefits to doing this.

For me, I could instantly feel a sense of power and connection arrive inside of me.

I believe each of us have many purposes for being here on earth. I guess I could even call them ‘missions’. And I don’t mean SOME of us do, I mean ALL of us. I believe you have specific talents that make you and your contributions unique in this world. And from where I sit, the world needs you and all of what you have to offer.

Imagine for a moment what wonderful things could happen in your life if you spent even a small amount of time dedicated to unveiling the reason(s) why you are here. And once they’re uncovered, you embrace them and show them off to your family, friends, coworkers…to the world.

Imagine how much this one act of revelation could change the direction of your life. My hope is that you feel drawn to this exploration.

Need a little nudge?

If so, sit back and relax. Breathe in and out slowly, extending the length of each breath. Intentionally open your mind and heart and ask for some inner guidance to show you a direction to travel. Ask to have an image displayed that feels like a part of your mission here. And once something comes into view, accept it, and embrace it. It doesn’t have to be extraordinary; it could be one small step in an important direction. If it calls to you, give yourself permission to follow and see what happens. It may just be exactly why you came here.

May it be so.

Posted on

Healing

Let’s say the point wasn’t whether you or I believed in the historical figure of Jesus. Or that every word captured and recorded was done so correctly. Or that there were changes made to the content of what Jesus said.

Let’s say that the point was what his life could mean to us personally, if our minds, hearts, and spirits were open.

And while I’m saying this, let’s also say we did the same thing with other important figures, like Buddha and Mohammed.

What would happen if we allowed ourselves the opportunity to hear the broader message? And what if we could hear messages without having to qualify them or put them in a strict religious context.

What if we rested our minds and opened our hearts and paid close attention to the essential messages and how what they said could impact our lives.

Imagine how we could be transformed if we didn’t get hung up on minor discrepancies, but gave ourselves freedom to see the bigger picture?

Perhaps a practical example would be helpful.

Rather than focusing on the authenticity or correlation to specific Bible passages, invite yourself to read this with your heart and listen for what speaks to your spirit about healing.

This story is based on Luke 18:35-43, about a beggar asking for healing from Jesus.

A man came and stood before me, broken by the world, and burdened by shame given him by others. He could not remember having harmed another. Not ever. But they said he deserved his blindness. And none would weep for him. Nor would they guide him or hold him. He had been cast out, away from them. They saw only his difference, never his sameness.

He said to me, “Teacher, I am not worthy, but I know if you wish it, you can make me well.”

He moved closer to me. “Please, please, make me well.”

The others near us heard his request. They said to him, “Why do you bother Jesus, he has more important things to do than take time for you. Leave him alone.”

But I said to the crowd, “Your eyes are closed. If they were keen you would see that I have come for him and for all those like him. He alone among you knows the truth. Knows who I am. Blessed is he. Blessed more shall he be.”

I reached out and gently lifted his chin so that his face would meet mine. I could see the change in him the moment I looked into his eyes. I spoke these words so that others might know the truth. The truth he had already perceived.

“Your faith has healed you. You have listened well to the spirit inside of you. The inner guide who can release all untruths you’ve been told and all untruths you have accepted as your own. The light you see in me, has released you, for now you know the truth is up to you to decide. Nothing more stands in your way. You perceive in me divine connection and perfect health. You know to your depth that you are also divine. Your faith in me has shifted to your faith in your own divinity and the love the divine has for you. Go and be well, live and teach others this truth.”

Many heard these words, but few understood their meaning. For those that did understand, their worlds were also changed, and their hearts were healed. This you can do also.”

To me, the essential meaning rests in how we are healed by our own beliefs and our own faith. Jesus came to teach us to recognize and accept our own divinity and our own personal relationship with the divine. Through this truth and awareness, we can be healed.

Posted on

Closets

I believe this is the first post that I have written that forced itself out of me. The topic kept coming back and despite the fact that I resisted it, it would not be denied.

Why? What was I trying to avoid? I wasn’t sure but I knew I had to explore it.

Have there been times in your life when you knew something important was about to happen, but there was an element of concern in your mind? Maybe I ought to be clearer, I don’t mean ‘concern’, but straight up ‘fear’.

That’s the sense I had when the topic, ‘closets’, came into view.

The first thought I had was simple enough. After all we have lots of closets in our house, most of them pretty full. Some have clothes, shoes, boot, jackets, hats, and other articles of clothing. Others have towels, sheets, our vacuum, extra Kleenex and toilet paper, and a host of miscellaneous things.

Okay, no big deal there.

I did notice that closets are places to hide things you don’t want to see out in the open, because they would be too messy or take up too much space you need for other things.

This observation seemed to offer a clue, but the picture still wasn’t clear.

I remembered a saying about closets, that they are a place to store your skeletons. I checked out Wikipedia and discovered the saying came from 19th century England and was an idiom used to describe an undisclosed fact about someone which, if revealed, would damage perceptions of the person.

So, now I’m getting closer. Closets are an important hiding place for what you don’t want others to know about you. They house secrets and hide what we might describe as shameful things. I wondered; don’t we all have things we hope never see the light of day? Things we’ve thought or done that if others knew, would alter their opinions of us?

That’s closer to my fear about not wanting to write this post, but not the end point yet.

It only took a second longer to realize that closets have a much more significant reference point…’coming out of the closet’, where an individual reveals their sexuality, rather than hiding it. For those brave people who take this extraordinary step in their lives, I want to say, bravo to you.

Allowing others in society to dictate who a person can or cannot be through the use of shame, denial, stigma, humiliation, or any other form of control, devalues all humanity, especially those who refuse to continue hiding who they really are.

Unfortunately, many feel a strong sense of need to adhere to a set of religious beliefs that have been taught to them. Beliefs that are fear based rather than love based.

I fully realize this is an emotionally charged topic and is often seen as divisive, with only polar views, so that any stand I voice may be both popular and unpopular.

Okay, now it’s obvious to me why I wanted to resist this post.

But I have to take a stand.

I believe in love. Love opens, expands, embraces, forgives, accepts, is compassionate, caring and, valuing. It is the foundation of everything.

I also believe that the only role that fear plays is to be a messenger, a guide, a redirection from itself back to a state of love. Fear is meant to be temporary. Love is meant to be permanent.

I stand with all those who believe in love and encourage all those who believe in fear to use it to return to love.

Everything is out in the open in love and nothing is hidden, nor does it need to be. I believe we all are meant to be who we are in this life. We have free will for this very purpose and it is not up to anyone to control another’s view of their life. I believe love offers us all a chance to embrace our lives in the ways we choose.

Posted on

Holding and Releasing

I’ve been thinking about what it means to hold onto things and the value there can be in releasing them.

Here’s a simple, quick test for you.

Stand up and pick up something in each hand, like a book or other small object, then raise both of your arms, stretching them away from your body at shoulder height. Okay, now hold this position for as long as you can. You can also modify this if you can’t stand up at the moment. Simply hold the objects as if you were standing.

It’s incredible to me how fatiguing this exercise can be, despite the limited amount of weight you’re holding. Of course, the fact is, you’re also holding up the weight of each of your arms. After a little research, I discovered a 190-pound persons arms weight about 10 pounds each, which adds to the difficulty of sustained holding.

Why does any of this matter unless you are a body builder and need to increase your strength? Well, for me, it’s because the physical challenge of this exercise has emotional, intellectual, and spiritual ramifications.

How, you ask?

Imagine that instead of physical weights, you substitute something else. Here’s a few examples I’d offer, but if something more personally relevant strikes you, please use it in place of what I’ve provided.

Imagine someone in your life just said something mean to you, or you remember a time a year ago, ten years ago or from your childhood where you felt ignored, abused, or devalued.

If it was easy to conjure up this image, it’s clearly something you’re still holding on to. Something that has weight and the longer you hold it, the heavier it gets. You may think you’ve let it go, but if you still remember it, you probably haven’t.

And what about a time when you couldn’t get something done because it was too hard. You didn’t understand it or didn’t have enough time or a good enough teacher to help you. And because of this, you failed. How heavy is the feeling of failure to you?

Can you visualize a time when your spirit suffered because you felt too weak or too small? Perhaps someone else convinced you that you were not spiritually worthy, not lovable, not valuable. I suspect the weight of this cannot be measured.

So, what is the antidote?

From the title of this post, you may realize that, in my view, it is the act of releasing, of letting go of the weight, setting it down or setting it aside, that is the antidote.

Easier said than done, you might be thinking. Or you may be entertaining the question, how is it possible to release what you are still holding?

As with all things, I believe it begins by making a conscious choice, recognizing that you have the power to choose the direction of your life. The decisions and actions of others are their ‘business’, not yours, and you needn’t have any investment in them.

Because you have ‘free will’, you are in charge of what to keep and what to release, no matter what others tell you. And you are the one to decide if you take anything personally that others say to you. You have the freedom to choose, and you can exercise this freedom in every moment of your life.

Some things that we have absorbed over the years have taken root in us, but we can make a practice of releasing them. Each and every time they surface, we can acknowledge them and the weight they place on us and bid them farewell, knowing they are no longer necessary in our lives. We’ve experienced them enough and can let them go.

This may only take one time, but it may also have to be repeated, before we are free from them.

I wish you well with your practice.

Posted on

What Is Valuable

I am constantly coming up with questions I feel are important for me to consider.

One consistent thing that others have told to me over the years, whether at work, home, church, or casual conversations, is that I ask good questions. I take from that, that there is some immediately perceived value they sense. It’s probably not so much about my question, as what it stirs inside them that they feel would be worth considering.

So, here’s my latest question…what makes anything valuable?

I played with it for a little while and realized it could be asked another way too…what make something valuable?

If you’re interested, you can play along too, coming up with your own answers. In fact, I encourage you to jump in and see what rises up in your consciousness.

For me, I sense a need to define ‘valuable’ before I can explore the question fully.

I think my temptation is to accept a worldview of the word as referring to an object worth a great deal of money, such as land, gold, houses, or jewelry.

Fortunately, that’s not the only meaning. It can just as easily mean having qualities worthy of respect, admiration, or esteem.

I think my tendency is to consider what a person, place or thing means to me personally. The closer my connection, the more valuable something becomes to me.

If I sit back for a moment, it occurs to me that nothing is inherently valuable. It only becomes valuable once we desire to own or experience it. I find there needs to be some personal connection, some investment I believe is worth my time or other resources to trade for what I want to possess.

So, what would I be willing to pursue that would be worth this trade?  What would you trade?

As I think about this, I realize my answers have changed a great deal over the years. As a child, it was all about toys and playing with friends and my family. Once I went to school, the toys changed, but playing with friends and family didn’t. Eventually, freedom become incredibly important to me. I wanted to be able to roam around on my bike and explore and then when I got my driver’s license, my world expanded further. In college, it was never so much about my studies, it was about my friends (especially my girlfriend- my eventual wife) and again, the freedom to explore the surrounding countryside.

Then of course more things changed. I had a job, a career, a family of our own, a car, a house. All of those things were valuable to me. And all of those things were worth the trade of my time and talents.

Now that I am retired, my wife’s and my ability to remain connected to our children and grandchildren is extremely valuable to us. Beyond that I treasure having the freedom to pursue my personal creativity, whether its writing or artwork.

I also greatly value my physical, emotional, and intellectual health. Most of all though, it is my spiritual health I value, and it guides my life. I yield to this desire easily because I know that above all else, I am made of spirit. I know I am a part of the divine essence. I came from there and return to there. Knowing this in my heart offers me a genuine sense of being valuable in this world.

So, my final answer to the question of ‘what makes anything valuable’ is that we are all from the same source, the same spirit essence. We are all inherently valuable. We don’t need to accomplish anything in our lives to be valuable. It is our very nature.

I hope you feel the power and truth of this.

Posted on

Limitless

My friend, Cheri Warren and I, created a Four Word Question Deck for Self-Discovery. It’s based on an Instagram series of four-word questions I created and beautiful background pictures Cheri designed. We created a 52-card deck that asks questions with the intention of serving as a springboard for going deeper into your inner awareness. They act as a kind of prompt for your intuitive side to tune into knowledge and wisdom you don’t normally experience. If they sound like something you’d be interested in purchasing, information is available at the end of this post.

The reason I’m mentioning this at the beginning of the post is that I recently shuffled through the deck and randomly selected one card to focus on. It read; “is your life limitless”.

I’ve pulled several cards in the past for review since we made the deck and each time it starts out as a mystery why the card appeared. I began with an assumption that they would always make immediate sense to me, but they don’t. And now that I’ve had a chance to reflect on it, I’m glad they don’t, because it encourages me to engage more deeply with them.

In this case, my first reaction to the card, “is your life limitless” was that it depends on what I choose to believe about the whole concept of limitlessness.

I could defer my choice and allow my cultural training to govern my answer and my life path, or I could make an entirely different decision. It was difficult for me to get beyond the idea that my answer has to be, ‘no, my life is not limitless’, regardless of how much I want it to be otherwise.

There are in fact plenty of limits for me to contend with. I have obvious physical, emotional, and mental limits. I cannot defy gravity and fly on my own. I cannot imagine being able to emotionally handle losing family and friends because of a war or other tragedy. And I cannot understand calculus or quantum physics. There also happens to be other significant things I feel limited in performing, which makes me wonder how the answer could be anything but, ‘no’.

And yet I want my answer to be ‘yes, my life is limitless.’

How can I justify this outrageous claim?

I thought about this for quite a while and asked myself, what are my life limits? Can I become a millionaire, walk on the moon, travel around the world, be kind to everyone I meet, sit under a waterfall in the mountains?

It occurred to me that one of the values of considering this question is because it assists me in determining what’s important enough to me to push my limits. Sure, it’s easy to see I have defined limits, but am I allowing my assumptions about them to control the outcomes I experience in my life?

The answer to that for me is ‘yes, I am’. So, I have to wonder, why is this my choice? Am I afraid to push beyond what I believe is possible? How is that worthwhile for me?

So, despite my initial reaction to the appearance of this card, that of course my life is not limitless, I want to shift my awareness and make a conscious choice to test my limits to see which of them are real. I want to collect up all of my assumptions, place them in a bag and tie a tight knot at the top so they can’t escape.

I want to explore the magnitude of my capabilities. How else will I ever know what my actual limits are? If I answer too quickly, I know I will feel smaller than I am. If I listen to everyone else around me, I will fall prey to those who don’t want me to experience too much success. And, if I resist trying to grow, I fail before I even begin.

The value of this card has shown itself to me. Within these four words there lies the promise of expansion outward into the greater world. My life may not be entirely limitless but there is still so much beauty, magic, and radiance for me to experience.

In my heart, I believe the same is true for you.

Should you be interested in purchasing your own Four Word Question Deck for Self-Discovery, please visit my website:

www.messagesforinspiration.com and click on the Four Word Question tab, then click on the picture of the box. From here you can place your order directly.

Posted on

Grace

Are you familiar with the idea of grace?

Perhaps the most common usage, would be the ‘saying of grace’ before meals, especially dinner.

I wondered where the practice came from. It wasn’t hard to discover. It appears in most Christian traditions and is a short prayer said before a meal. Saying grace comes from the Latin phrase ‘gratiarum actio’, which means an act of thanks.

Some traditions believe that grace and thanksgiving impart a blessing which sanctifies (makes holy) the meal, while other traditions focus on the belief that humans should thank God for the food and other blessings they receive.

I’ve never really been entirely comfortable with either of these concepts. I am very grateful that there is food in the world for me and I want it to create health for my body, but there’s something underneath the idea of saying grace that is bothersome to me.

I feel as though I need to take a big step backwards and perhaps ask myself several questions. I use questions as prompts. They challenge me to think deeper and delve into new territory.

Does saying grace change the flavor of the food? Does it change the power of the food to create better health in me? If I don’t say grace, do I lose some of the value of the food?

And then there is another side to this. When I say grace, who am I saying it to?  Is God the granter of grace? If so, does God speak everyone’s language and grant everyone’s wishes?

If you are with a group of people and grace is said, do all of those present have to think, feel, and believe the same thing for grace to work?

Maybe I tend to think too deeply into issues, but it feels like something important is waiting here for me to discover.

As I lean into this whole idea, I sense the word ‘grace’ has more far-reaching implications for me.

In the religious culture I was raised, ‘grace’ has a very specific meaning. God offers us grace as a free gift because God is willing to forgive us and bless us, even though we all fall short of living righteously (a good life). Further, grace is viewed as the love of God shown those who do not merit love.

These statements, and the concept of grace as it’s used, touches a nerve in me.

Who does not merit love?

In my world, there is no one who does not merit love. Some may act from places of hurt so deep that they appear cruel and heartless. But there is a place within them that is human and lovable. Every one of us comes from love and returns to love.

In my view, we all came from heaven and return to heaven. We are all parts of the whole, the holy, the one. We all deserve love and no one is excluded.

The way grace is used implies that we are missing something and need to be supplemented from outside of ourselves. This makes us dependent on someone or something else to be whole.

This is the part that challenges me because I believe that god lives inside of me (and inside of each of you), therefore I am not dependent on an external force to grant me grace.

I believe that each of us is connected to each other and to the world. We extend love because inherently, we are love. None of us is ‘less than’ or unlovable and so none of us needs grace from the outside. It is always within our power to offer love to ourselves and to remind each other that ultimately, love is who we are.