Category: acceptance

Posted on

Everyone Is Worthy

I want to share a story from my life with you.

I know from personal experience, as I’m sure you do too, that sometimes we’re not treated as if we are worthy. It isn’t a very good feeling. I try to remember this and acknowledge the innate value we each possess.

One day many years ago, during a particularly hot summer, a man rang our doorbell. As I opened the door he stepped back and began his speech. He was trying to sell magazines to fund his tuition for college. He said it was a special program designed for people like him. Before I could ask, he told me who ‘people like him’ were. He’d had a tough youth, which was another way of saying he’d been in trouble all his life. He told me he’d grown up in the projects in downtown Albany and used to sell crack. He said he was really good at it, but not good enough. He finally learned you couldn’t survive very long doing that.

I think it’s possible to tell if another person is lying to you by looking into their eyes, if you can look long enough. I also think there are people who can stand the stare for a long time without showing the truth. I knew I wouldn’t have the length of time it would take, so I just decided to believe him.

I wasn’t the only one home that day. My son, Tommy, was there too. He was playing games in his bedroom, like any other eight-year-old would do and waiting for me to come back. I guess I was gone too long, so he came looking for me. He found me sitting on the front porch talking with a man he didn’t know. He watched and listened to us through the screen door. After a couple of minutes, he came out, sat next to me, and asked what we were doing. The man showed him the magazine choices we could make and made sure Tommy saw the one all about video games. He told Tommy that the subscription prices were the best and it would help him to be able to go to college and change his life. He told Tommy a bit about how it was for him growing up and how much trouble he’d gotten into. And that he’d been really bad but was hoping to get another chance. The order form had other people’s names on it, and he hoped we’d sign up for a couple of magazines. Tommy and I looked the form over. Tommy quietly looked up at me and said, “are we really going to order these Dad?”. I told him we were, and he looked at me with a funny, questioning expression.

The man seemed pleased with our order and told me he’d accept cash or a check. I asked him if he was thirsty and when he said yes, I offered him a soda, which he happily accepted. I went inside to get the soda and a check. I gave them to him, and we talked about things for a while. He wasn’t in a big hurry and seemed to like hanging around with us. Somehow, we got on to the subject of birthdays. I asked him if he could wait a minute because I had something for him, but I had to get it from inside the house. He said he’d wait. After a minute I was back and he eyed me kind of sideways, trying to figure out what I was doing.

I handed him some folded bills and told him it might help with his second chance. He looked at me in a way no one else ever had. It was part surprise and part disbelief. A look I’ll never forget.

He asked me why I was doing this. I asked if he had a birthday and he said, “sure.” I told him that as far as I was concerned, today was his birthday and this was his birthday gift.

He just sat there shaking his head for a long, long time. His eyes got a little misty and he looked away. When he looked back at me, he said, “nobody has ever done anything like this for me.” It apparently was beyond him to understand why anyone would do such a thing for someone they didn’t even know. In that moment, truth came into his eyes. The truth about the magazines and the truth about his second chance. He left a little while later. As he walked away Tommy asked me whether we were ever going to see the magazines. I told him that I didn’t think so. That same puzzled look came back to him, and he looked up at me saying, “then why did you give him the money?”

The man, who was almost to the corner by now, turned back to us. He smiled and waved. I looked down at Tommy and said, “that’s why.”

We never did get the magazines. And I never saw the man again. But it really doesn’t matter to me because we all changed that day and it is still one of my favorite days ever.

Posted on

Our Essential Nature

I believe that if we are open to learning, everything can teach us and that there is meaning in all that we experience. I also believe that there are valuable implications to everything in our lives.

Here’s an example from the other day. I grant you that at first glance it may not seem like much, but it helped me see deeper into my life.

I went to retrieve the newspaper from our front lawn. I opened the plastic bag our newspaper comes in to find that somehow the overnight rain had found its way through the bag and saturated one whole end.

Disappointed, I decided to hang each section on one of our drying racks, hoping it would be readable later in the day.

What struck me was the idea that each element, water and air, acts according to its nature.

The rain came and the water flowed naturally in all directions. It found the tiny pin hole in the plastic bag and seeped in, making part of the newspaper wet.

Water seeks to make all things wet.

Hanging the wet newspaper on the drying rack created space for the air to circulate, surrounding the paper from all directions. The air did what air does, it dried the paper.

Air seeks to make all things dry.

What has this got to do with you or me?

Quite a lot actually.

I wondered, what is my essential nature? What do I do regardless of my circumstances? How do I decide what directions to travel or what decisions to make about my life?

Fire seeks to burn everything. Earth seeks to return all things to itself.

What do I do? What governs my behaviors? What governs yours?

I want to feel joy, give and receive love, have adventures, connect deeply with others.

I want to do good things, be productive, help others, allow my heart to open wide.

What do you want to do in this world? What makes you feel most alive? What lifts you up and sets you free?

I want to be like water, air, fire, and earth. I want to move freely and act from my essential nature.

But what is my essential nature? Is it what I want, or what I feel I need or is it something else? Is it what rises out of me without any conscious thought?

For me, I believe I am here on earth to be an expression of the divine. I realize that may seem like a bold statement. That’s okay with me because I believe we’re all here for this reason, to live lives of connection, to be each other’s kin (family) and to live a joy-filled life.

I believe this is our essential nature.

Sure, other things get in the way. We become distracted by life’s events and demands. We become influenced by other’s actions and behaviors. But, if we look a bit deeper inside ourselves, I believe we’ll notice our essential nature is to be at peace, live in harmony, love and be loved. Acting from this place, we can naturally flow, just like water, air, fire, and earth.

Posted on

Blame

Okay, so here’s a topic I’m intimately acquainted with both as a receiver and, sad to say, as a giver…blame.

I wish it weren’t so, but it is.

I wonder if you can identify with this too.

Clearly, I understand what blame means and certainly how it feels, but I thought I’d start my post by laying a firmer foundation.

The Merriam Webster dictionary offers three meanings; (1) to find fault with, (2) to hold responsible and (3) to place responsibility for. It seems to me the three are very close in meaning. Each appears necessary to have two positions, one, the individual who has done someone wrong and two, another person to point it out to them.

How often are you blamed for doing something that someone else finds unacceptable? Are others quick to choose you to blame? How does it make you feel?

And because we have all received our share of blame, has it seeped into you far enough that you end up often blaming others for their mistakes or omissions? It is certainly an easy thing to do.

I encouraged myself to move deeper into this sensitive topic because I knew there was hidden value waiting for me. I sensed no enjoyment present though, since the sting of blame lives pretty close to my surface.

Throughout my life I’ve been blamed for many things, some of which I have to admit are legitimate, but many are not. The blame I’ve received does not belong to me. In some cases, the ‘blamer’ is the responsible party, but won’t admit it, so is quick to point their finger at me first.

I don’t know about you, but I find it extremely difficult to accept someone else’s blame. I would much rather they share with me how something I said or did made them feel and ask me to change the way(s) I approach them. When they move immediately to blame, I become defensive.

Of course, when I have the presence of mind to realize what I’m saying or doing, I recognize the same tendencies in me I find so hard to accept in others. This makes me wonder, is there a better path? Can I find a truer, more open way of living?

Perhaps an answer lies further below the surface.

To me, blame is a ‘separation’ word. Someone is either right or wrong, good or bad and there is a need for accountability. Blame divides people.

What if we could exchange the idea of blame for something else? What if we substituted the word ‘mistake’. Would this make a difference in the world? Rather than there being a need to force one person into submission, maybe we could work toward fixing what went astray. We could view the mistake as a learning tool for everyone involved. We could explore other ways a situation could be handled and choose one that elevates all instead of having one person bear the blame.

Personally, I like the sounds of that. I think I’ll spend some time giving it a try, realizing that I’ll need to be aware of what I’m thinking, feeling, and doing when situations arise.

One other curious thing about blame came into view for me.

I wondered when and where the word came into existence. As with so many words, one source indicated it arose from the Greek culture, estimating its arrival around 1200 AD. I have no idea about the authenticity of this, but what I found interesting was the question it prompted for me…did people blame each other before there was a word for it? Probably.

For me, there are a handful of words I’d like to eliminate from my vocabulary. Here’s three I know for sure…should, shame, and blame. Maybe you’d like to join me in eliminating them from yours too.

Posted on

Following Your Heart

Have you heard the expression, ‘follow your heart’?

What does it mean to you? How would you go about explaining it to someone else?

If you were asked whether you follow your heart or not, what would you say?

Since we can’t have a two-way dialogue at the moment, I’ll share what it means to me and then ask you another few questions.

A defining idea surfaces.

Is there a practical way to tell the difference between what your mind wants and what your heart wants? That feels like a tricky question for sure.

To me, the things that satisfy my mind bring me happiness, while those things that nourish my heart bring me joy. These two sensations feel entirely different. And while I like the ones that offer happiness, I love the ones that bring me joy.

Following my head (mind) prompts me to accomplish things by way of meeting or exceeding my objectives. I admit I have a tendency to grade or rate each of my experiences and I spend time evaluating them, wondering if I could have done better.

Unfortunately, when I don’t achieve what I set out to accomplish, I am often unhappy and can at times question my worth. While this is happening, I do recognize what a poor choice I’m making, so I try to create triggers within the experience. The triggers are sort of like check points, where I can shift away from my head and view things from my heart and my spirit.

But what does this mean and how can one shift?

A way that works for me is to stop once I recognize a trigger and observe how I am feeling. Is an experience making me angry, anxious, afraid, irritated? Is it providing me with a sense of temporary pleasure or a fleeting glimpse of happiness which I know will not last? If so, these signal me that I am focused on my mind and it’s time to adjust, to shift toward something more real.

When I follow my heart, I notice I set up aims, which are looser than goals. They flex and adapt, and I can experience life, finding what feels like open, free, flavorful experiences. Ones that I can savor and not lose. They last. They become ‘keepers’.

Recently I’ve been struggling with a set of decisions regarding which projects from my list I want to move forward with. Every time I begin the process I’m faced with a series of obstacles. They block my path, and I cannot see over, around or beyond them.

Fortunately, a knowing part of me realizes that obstacles represent triggers too, so I allow myself to move deeper into my heart, knowing it is my mind that is having the problem.

As so often happens, I call out for help from Lia, a divine feminine voice that lives within me. She awaits me at all times and is ever present in my life. I believe she is awaiting each of us, ready to share once we ask for her assistance.

Although I ordinarily gain valuable insights quickly, I discovered that I needed a series of conversations over several days to reach far enough below the surface to unveil what I needed to hear. Lia is always patient with me, giving me time to uncover for myself what I so desperately feel I need. In this case, she led me forward until I could see with crystal clarity. She offered me an image I could hold on to and use whenever I felt at a crossroad.

It was a bracelet with two charms hanging from it. One was labeled, ‘fear’ and the other, ‘love’. She said that no matter what I encountered in my life, my experience would be guided by the choice I made between fear and love.

I wanted to know more. I wanted to feel what kind of difference this choice would make, particularly when I reimagined the projects I’d been considering. So, I found my list and asked myself what would be the outcome if in each case I chose to look at them with love.

I know this sounds simple. I also know simple things are often profound.

When I reviewed my list, everything fell into place. Rather than feeling confused, everything was clear to me, and I now know what to do.

So here are my follow up questions for you.

Is there a way for you to imagine wearing a bracelet with two charms, one ‘fear’ and the other ‘love’? Can you use love to find a way forward, no matter what the situation is? Can you use your heart (and your spirit) to lead your way forward?

I hope you can.

Posted on

Adjectives

If you were offered the opportunity to choose a set of adjectives to describe yourself, what would they be?

Maybe like me, you’re a little foggy about the meaning of the word, adjective. Here’s a bit of help.

An adjective is a word that modifies or describes a noun (a word used to identify a person, place, or thing) or pronoun (identifying a specific person, place, or thing).

Adjectives can be used to describe the qualities of someone or something independently or in comparison to something else. For example, my sister is older than me (not that she admits it freely) or Einstein was smarter than the average scientist.

So much for the grammar lesson (not my favorite, and maybe not yours either).

So, back to my original question. What words did you choose? And, perhaps even more interesting, why did you choose the words you did? If you were asked, are they words you believe currently apply to you or maybe they are ones you’d like to apply to you in the future.

I remember once in high school, I found a long list of adjectives and decided to ask several of my friends to check off which ones they felt described me. I’m not sure if I tried to choose the ones I thought applied to me or just reacted to the ones they chose.

It was enlightening to run through their lists and compare them with each other and with what I thought about myself. As I recall, not all of them were ‘positive’ words, meaning I didn’t like the way they felt to me. Some of them were downright objectionable, but most I thought were pretty nice and I came away feeling good about myself.

I wonder what would happen if I repeated this exercise today?

Would I take it personally if I didn’t like all of the words they chose? Would it alter how I felt about them? Or how they felt about me?

How prepared would I be to accept their view? How prepared would they be to give me an honest assessment?

Sometimes we don’t want to know what other folks are thinking about us. It could be too threatening, and it could expose our vulnerabilities, bringing them to the surface. I think very few people would willingly choose to want that.

If you’ve been with me for a while, you know I always do whatever I’m asking you to do, so here’s my list.

Self-reliant, resourceful, loving, caring, helpful, creative, organized, funny (both intentional and unintentional), devoted, headstrong, resistant to authority, driven, too concerned about what others think, a dreamer.

I realize it’s a mixed bag and probably always will be. Notice I didn’t add the word, ‘perfect’. I acknowledge that there will always be room for me to improve (in my eyes and others) and grow and learn. I accept this as the truth.

What do you think your list says about you? Are there some hints available to you? And, now that you’ve done this once, might you want to repeat it and see what changes?

It dawned on me that my list contains words that came out of traumas in my life, especially the first two (self-reliant and resourceful). Something about my upbringing and adaptation to my cultural training encouraged (or the word could be, ‘forced’) me to look inward for my own guidance and support. I felt I could not entirely trust that I would be taken care of in all the ways I thought I needed, so I decided to be my own ‘boss’ and resolve whatever problems came my way, largely without the help of others.

It’s funny to me how, taking a good look at the adjectives I chose, they shed a great deal of light on how I live in this world and the decisions and choices I make. I wonder, is the same true for you

Posted on

Pause and Consider

Are you ever faced with a situation where there are a lot of factors to be considered or a quick decision needs to be made or there is heightened emotional feelings involved?

I find when that happens to me it’s very difficult not to get caught up and lose valuable perspective. It’s so easy to slip into worry, concern, or partial paralysis. To kind of stop dead in your tracks, like the proverbial deer in the headlights.

One of these situations occurred while my wife and I were on vacation recently. It wasn’t a huge deal. Nothing earth shaking. But it was troubling to me and under normal circumstances would have sent me into a tiny rage, in this case, directed at me.

Although we had plenty of time to pack for our trip and I didn’t leave anything to the end, nevertheless, I forgot to bring my backup prescription sunglasses. They’re the ones I wear when I swim in the ocean. I’m not going to risk my regular pair, so always include this backup pair, while packing.

Except, I didn’t.

Like I said, I’d normally freak out, wondering how I was going to be out in the sun and warm ocean while worrying I’d lose my only pair of glasses, which I need to drive.

But instead of freaking out, I was calm. I paused and sat considering my options. Obviously going back home for them was out of the question, so what could I do. I breathed in and out slowly, leaning into my sense of calmness. An answer came quickly.

I could go to the store and buy a reasonably inexpensive pair of sunglasses to use. Sure, they wouldn’t be prescription, but I could live with that. They would protect my eyes and I had a band that would keep them on my head. Even if they fell off, I could always buy another pair.

As I said, this isn’t a big deal, but I was very happy that I’d found a workable solution, had remained calm and had taken advantage of pausing to consider, rather than losing my composure and ranting.

I might have been tempted to move quickly on with my vacation life, but it felt there was something quite special about this event. I wanted to savor it and see if it had something to say to me that would be helpful for my future. So, I paused again and considered.

Sitting peacefully inside this situation felt promising and the reward was almost immediate. What if I applied this same ‘pause and consider’ practice to other situations and events in my life?

How beneficial could that be?

My answer was and is, very beneficial.

Being able to avoid my tendency toward some knee-jerk reactions gives me a sense of freedom and hope. I can use this one experience to build on and perhaps see it as a pattern I can repeat. Because it worked so well the first time, it provides me a framework to use over and over again in the future.

A curious question came to my mind…I wondered how long I’d have to wait for my next opportunity?

Silly question really, because since the sunglasses affair happened, there has been a constant stream of ‘practice sessions’ lining themselves up in my life, offering me opportunities to test out my new idea.

I’d like to say I’ve been gracefully able to pause and consider each time successfully, but since I’m still human, it hasn’t worked out that way. I still need more practice.

What has happened is I feel a new groove forming, laid by the foundation of that one singular event. A groove that will get stronger the more times I use it.

It’s interesting to me to consider, that had I not forgotten my backup sunglasses, I might not have learned a new skill that will benefit me for years to come. Very interesting indeed.

Posted on

A Good Friday Performance Invitation

This is a different post from my normal.

There is a special reason for this. There is something unique and beautiful that will only happen tomorrow on Good Friday, April 7, 2023, at 7:00pm (EST).

That’s when there will be a live performance of the play, Nine, A Holy Week Story of Love. This play was inspired by the events experienced by Yeshiwa (Jesus) and those involved in his life during his last week on earth. Each of the nine stories (Acts) offer an intimate view of how deeply and profoundly we are all loved by God.

If you live near Albany, New York you can attend in person at Unity Church in Albany, 21 King Avenue, Albany, NY 12206, but if you’re far away, you can watch the performance, as it will be Live Streamed on Unity Church in Albany’s website.

Go to Unity Church in Albany’s website (unityalbany.org), select Live Stream and click on the red button in the center of the graphic for the performance of Nine, A Holy Week Story of Love.

To be candid, this may not appeal to all mainstream Christian churchgoers, because there are a few significantly different interpretations of the events that occurred.

Let me offer you a little background.

I have always loved the Easter story and it touches my heart more deeply than any other story from the Bible. I feel connected to each person and sense their emotional and spiritual energy in ways my mind cannot comprehend.

On Good Friday in 2018, I spent three hours, from noon to 3:00pm, standing, sitting, and walking around the sanctuary of Unity Church in Albany (NY), with the hope that I would be able to connect spiritually and come to a greater understanding of the events surrounding Easter. I sensed a strength, peace and clarity and felt a ‘knowing’ arrive within me, as if I were present during that time. It felt intimate and real and I wanted very much to capture each of the stories so that they could be shared with the world. Over the next several weeks I received the words to this play.

But more than the words, I felt the beauty, grace, and loving heart of Yeshiwa (Jesus’s name in his native language of Aramaic) that was and is the center of each of these stories. I do not ask you to believe me. I ask only that you listen to the words and let them reveal to you what truth they have to share.

I cannot have any vested interest in the outcome of your decision. It is yours alone.

What I am vested in is making this available to you so that you can hear, feel, and know what incredible power and love is present and available for you. Every one of you, with no exceptions.

Each of the stories (Acts) focuses on Yeshiwa’s message, which is always about forgiveness, the power of redemption, and the divine intimacy of love.

My sole responsibility was to channel the words as I received them and to be true to their content. You might think that was an easy task. It was not. Imagine for a moment that you felt you had to relate a truth you knew could inflame others. Would you go ahead?

Despite how incredibly powerful these stories are, I agonized about placing them in front of others. Surrendering and trusting was extremely difficult for me. And yet, I knew in the deepest part of me that they belong to the world and so, along with other brave souls, we are offering them to you.

If you are curious to hear them for yourself, please join us. I know their power and I believe you will too.

Should you desire to have a copy for yourself, print and eBook versions are available on Amazon, which you can access on Amazon/Books, then enter, Nine, A Holy Week Story of Love, by Rob H Geyer. The blue background book contains the Cast Version and the sunburst yellow book is the full version.

Posted on

People You Meet

I am a big believer that there is something special and unique that I can learn from every single experience I encounter in my life.

What do you think?

We can probably agree that some experiences are stronger than others and seem much more important or powerful, but believing that every single experience has something to teach us, perhaps you might think that could be going too far.

I might have felt that way at one time in my life but when I slow down and shift my perspective to a moment-to-moment framework something else happens. I see a wealth of meaning and connection.

It would probably help if I offered an example.

My wife and I recently went to Florida for twelve days of sunny, warm vacation. We arrived at our local airport, got our boarding passes, checked our bags, made our way through TSA and were sitting at our designated gate, awaiting boarding. There were lots of people milling around and most seats were full. Some of the flights were delayed, causing some annoyance to several passengers.

My wife and I sat down, storing our carry-on items in the empty seat between us. When the man next to her got up and headed toward the gate where boarding was starting, I decided to change my seat and took over his vacated space.

Despite my belief that he was boarding the plane, he must have been throwing something out, because he returned a moment or two later. Once he observed that I had taken his seat, he leaned toward me and said, “that’s my seat, sport!”, in what I would term a somewhat threatening voice and posture, leaving no doubt in my mind that he expected me to get up and relocate, so that he could have ‘his’ seat back.

Without giving it any thought, I stood up and changed back to where I had been sitting. However…I confess to feeling stung by his words and gestures, especially his use of the term ‘sport’. It reeked of condescension.

Part of me immediately went into hostile mode and wanted to know what right he had to speak to me in that manner or to demand ‘his’ seat back. There was no sign on it. He hadn’t left an open magazine there to claim his spot. He didn’t say to us, “I’ll be right back, could you save my seat for me?”. Nothing.

Another part of me wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he was having a really bad day. Maybe his flights had been messed up and he’d had to sleep overnight in the airport. Maybe his use of the term ‘sport’ wasn’t intended to ruffle or irritate me.

A third part of me wished I’d stayed where I was and told him he had no claim to the seat. No ownership. No rights. And, by the way, “who are you calling ‘sport’, sport!?”

There was yet another part of me operating during this sequence. I’ll call it my ‘inner observer’. It’s the part of me that takes notice of my thoughts and actions. It invites me to step back for a moment to consider. It encourages me to see if there is a bigger picture operating. And it asks valuable questions like, why is this triggering you and is it necessary or helpful for you to take this personally?

When I allow my observer to take center stage I see, hear, sense, and understand more. My observer also aids me in releasing my initial thoughts and reactions. I can let go of my what does not serve or benefit me. I can release my ‘possession’ of the seat and allow his comment and tone to pass through me. I can set aside my personal reactions and ownership of being triggered by his manner or expectations.

This ten second ‘connection’ between us can inform my whole world and leave a lasting impact on me. The choice is mine to decide. Not his nor anyone else’s. Mine.

What I take away from this or any other single connection I form with another is entirely up to me. That’s a powerful thing and I can choose to carry with me all of the hurtful or all of the helpful feelings that go with it.

I believe everyone can do this.

Posted on

Whole Rather Than Perfect

I’ve thought a lot about the idea of perfection over the course of my life. I wonder if you have too. There is certainly a great deal of emphasis placed on it. Our cultural training seems to glorify perfection and encourages us to achieve it.

One of the main problems in my opinion is the state of perfection does not exist as a reality. It’s only an ideal. According to one internet source the definition of perfection is the condition, state, or quality of being free or as free as possible from all flaws or defects.

Consider that for a moment. Free of ALL flaws or defects. Not just some. Not almost all. Free from ALL.

Why would anyone be tempted to be perfect?

I know that for me, it never worked and that’s not for a lack of trying. There was always some aspect I could not accomplish, no matter how hard I tried. And I’ve seen so many others pursue their goals with the idea in mind that they could do it perfectly. They didn’t. They couldn’t.

At some point part of the mystery of perfection revealed itself to me. It may only be my personal revelation, but it might be something you would agree with.

Perfection is the ultimate challenge and cannot be achieved, or at least it cannot be sustained. Underneath the concept of perfection is a host of other demons. The feelings of unworthiness, and the overall sense of not being enough or of value. These all seem to me to go together, like a bunch of bullies that taunt you and try to put you down.

I believe that perfection is an earth word. Something dreamed up to separate us and create unhappiness. It invites us into a conditional world, where no one stands at the top, but folks can take satisfaction from being better than those below them.

I’m through with the word. I am releasing it from my vocabulary, along with the word, ‘should’. They are banned words now to me.

Part of me asked the question…is there an actual word that can replace perfection, something I can acknowledge and appreciate?

For me, one word stepped forward to fill the empty space…’wholeness’.

I need to explain my definition so you can see whether it fills in your empty space too.

Wholeness, for me, is a process, not an end result. I believe we all came to earth ‘whole’ and complete, inherently valuable, worthwhile, rare, and gifted, beautiful and loved. True, we’ve all fallen off the straight line of tracks, but it’s of no real consequence since we are still in the process.

There is no need for any comparison, feelings of lack, judgement, or criticism. Those all belong to perfection, so we can leave them by the side of the road.

Wholeness invites us forward, encouraging our dreams and opening our hearts. There is an unconditional love, peace and sense of joy attached.

Perfection yields sorrow, while wholeness creates soaring, drawing us upward into freedom.

Wholeness is a Heaven word. Wholeness is something we came here with and if we choose it consciously, consistently, open heartedly, it gets bigger. And the bigger it becomes the more joy there is, for us and all those around us.

I love the word, wholeness, and I am giving it a special place inside me to grow.

Posted on

(OR) Everything Serves You Indirectly

Although unusual, this is the continuation of my previous two posts, all dealing with the interesting and challenging topic of how everything that happens to us serves us, either directly or indirectly.

I realize that it a huge claim and I’m not saying I don’t have my own difficulties comprehending it, but I nonetheless believe it is the truth and I want to share with you why I feel that way.

During recent conversations, Lia, a clear, beautiful feminine voice of grace and love who is always with me and is part of god, began explaining how, even though I may have challenges accepting this idea, it is still the truth.

Lia had previously shared with me an example of how an experience in my life served me directly (see my last post from September 25, 2022). After she pointed out several things to me it became quite clear.

But what baffled me was her statement about how all things serve me ’indirectly’ as well. She told me it would require a shift in my frame of reference and that I would have to release my cultural perceptions, because they limit my ability to see the ‘big’ picture.

She went on to say that I would need to shift from my earthly perspective to a heavenly perspective, at which point I felt I needed a whole new conversation to stretch my understanding.

Lia reminded me of a few of our previous conversations where we touched on this subject. In one of those she told me the following, “Your frame of reference is the KEY. In heaven you know everything there is to know. Every answer to every question. What you may want though is to ‘experience’ life, to create, to feel and think and sense life. In order to do this, you choose to come to earth, and you choose to forget all that you knew, so that you can fully experience life. You let go of knowing how all things are connected and interwoven. You allow yourself to be emptied, so that you can use your free will to decide how to view life. Part of this choice is to accept what your culture teaches you, rather than remembering what you knew in heaven, and you are provided space to make any and all decisions.”

I sat back for a few minutes absorbing her words to me.

Lia continued, “Every experience is filled with meaning and with hints about life (earth and heaven) and completely open to whatever interpretation YOU wish to choose. Each time you choose, you create patterns, pathways that become convenient routes for your thoughts to travel. You allow your cultural training to guide this process and although it saves you from making every decision, it also blinds you to the truth. A part of you already knows the truth, that all things are connected and that all things ‘eventually’ serve you. Some of these are obvious, others are not. They take time to unravel and become clear.”

Wow, this was a lot to take in, and as usual, I needed an example, so I asked Lia for one. I knew I needed to prepare myself, to not automatically reject what she had to tell me, merely because it would challenge me.

I could feel her smiling at me sympathetically, knowing how hard it is for me sometimes. “You can take any situation, and if you look at what happened before it, during it and (most of all) after it, you’ll see there are always connections and outcomes that ‘serve’ you, despite how it may appear. Here is one example I’d like to share. When your job was eliminated abruptly after twelve years and a great deal of success, it shook you to your roots. Immediately separated from your source of income, group of friends and professional colleagues, stripped of some of your sense of self-esteem, and a host of other conflicting thoughts and emotions, a part of you imploded. In no way could you see anything about this that served you. You felt it was not fair or just or right and these reactions blinded you for a period of time from seeing any positive outcomes. That is how your culture teaches you to see the world, in this case, personal rights and wrongs. But that is only a small part of the story.”

Lia went on to share, “You ended up still employed, but at a different location, one that you chose to leave after six months so that you could retire, and as you’ve claimed on numerous occasions, begin your best career- helping take care of your three-year-old granddaughter, Kirsten. This change also provided you the flexibility to write, travel, spend time with family and friends, exercise and many other pleasurable pursuits, all things you would not have been able to do. And it gave you an opportunity to forgive those involved in your ‘firing’ for their actions and insensitivity. And there are so many other connections that came months and years later, ones you are yet to see.”

I felt the absolute truth of her words and recognized that stepping away and gaining some distance allowed me to shift my frame of reference. Part of me could see this whole situation from heavenly eyes and it made all the difference.