Category: inspiration

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What is Your Word Worth

On Christmas day I bet my grandson, Evan, $100 that he couldn’t throw his new basketball off their second story deck into his basketball hoop forty feet away. Mind you I’d already tried this twenty times without success, so I didn’t really think there was a strong chance that he’d be able to make the shot. But all sorts of things happen in this world.

After his third unsuccessful attempt he asked me how many more tries he could have. I told him he could keep going as long as he wanted.

On his next shot the ball whisked through the air headed right for the basketball hoop and swished through the net. As expected, he was overjoyed, both because he’d made a difficult shot and because he would be $100 richer.

We both whooped and screamed at his triumph. It was a great moment for each of us to savor.

Of course, you may be wondering what happened next.

Well, I don’t usually carry an extra $100 in cash in my wallet, so I couldn’t give it to him when he ran up to me and asked for his payout. He knew we’d be seeing each other the next day, so I told him he could have it then, which seemed to appease him.

Now, $100 is a pretty significant amount of money and there are those in the world who like to offer promises but have no intentions of delivering. They find ways to wiggle out of their agreements. Adults are particularly adept at this, especially when it comes to comes to children. They make a case that they didn’t really mean it or that they were just kidding, or they’d be happy to pay some lesser amount.

I did not want to be one of these adults.

I want my word to mean something, so that when I give it, others can rely on it, especially children. They are often told untruths, led on with the sole purpose of getting them to comply or they are given something less than promised. This breeds a deep lack of trust and erodes good foundations.

I knew that delivering on my promise was entirely up to me. No one could make me pay up and I could have chosen to convince myself that I was joking about my offer. But what would that teach him about me? What would it teach me about myself?

The next night our extended family was going out to dinner together. When everyone sat down, I asked Evan to come over to me. I took out five twenty-dollar bills and handed them to him. His face lit up. I could tell his nine-year-old brain was contemplating what he could do with his winnings.

I asked him if he thought that I would actually pay him the $100. He looked at me and responded with a ‘yes’. I wanted to satisfy my curiosity, so I asked him what he would have thought if I didn’t keep my word and pay him. He looked straight into my eyes and said, “I would have thought that you don’t tell the truth.”

And there it was. Exactly what I thought. He would have lumped me in with all those who lie to him or those who cannot be trusted.

Deep inside me, I knew without hesitation that this was a defining moment for us. He may not always believe me, but for right now, our foundation is strong, and our eyes can see each other’s truth.

To me, $100 is a small price to pay for his belief in me.

What is your word worth to you?

Does it represent who you are as a person in this world? Can you be counted on to deliver what you promise? Is it important that you live up to your own truth?

My hope is that I can always answer these questions from a place of inner conviction, knowing I have a strong foundation.

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What Can You Hear

Welcome to my first post for 2024. It’s wonderful to have you here with me. I’m constantly surprised and delighted that I am still writing and connecting with you. Back in October 2020 when I began, I had no idea how this would go. I wasn’t even certain that I would be able to manage technologically to maintain my website and process posts for you to see.

So, thank you for being here and for the comments you’ve passed along to me. It really means a lot that you take the time to let me know you’re out there.

During the three plus years I’ve allowed myself to tell you my truth and to share my story, realizing that it was possible that only some of you would remain interested, because it’s not an ordinary story.

But are any of our stories ordinary? Is yours?

I strongly tend to doubt it. We all live such fantastic lives no matter how common they seem at times. When we choose to open ourselves and let our divine essence run free, to explore and experiment, to offer honesty and light to each other, all of our worlds expand.

It took me a lot of years to let go of being small and hiding my light from all but a few. For me, it became necessary to release, to let go of everything that was holding me back.

I wonder, do you ever feel this way? Do you sense an absolute joy deep inside you, but are reluctant to bring it out in the open?

Does that feel too threatening somehow? Too intense? To revealing?

That is actually a large part of why I write these posts. I want to encourage you to step into your own magical, mystical, brilliant light. I know it’s there inside of you waiting. Waiting for you to decide what’s to be gained or lost.

I want to know what you can hear if you listen closely to your heart.

I had to know, no matter what the potential cost would be to me. I had to know for sure. And so, I wrote and wrote and wrote some more, until all of the fluff was gone. Until I was deep enough for the truth to come out, the honesty.

Maybe you need an example, a possible route to follow. When I gave myself permission to reveal my true feelings, this is what happened. I came into contact with god. We spoke to each other. This time it was a male voice. Without having to ask, I knew the voice was also a part of me, not separate, but the same.

I offer this conversation as one way you could begin. There are so many ways, enough so that anyone can find their own depth, their own center and balance.

I wonder what you hear

When you lean in close

Is it the sound of a sweet voice

Can you feel he loves you

Are you filled with hurting

Do you overflow with pain

Do you want to be close

Taken under his wing

Do you dream of belonging

Do you have hope for the future

Has the world often crushed you

Has it broken your heart

Do you need some salvation

Have you trusted the wrong ones

Have you hit lots of dead ends

Is your faith in the dust

Time to know something new

Time to let go this life

Time to open in all ways

To see his beautiful face

Nothing required

And nothing demanded

Just say one word

Just open the door

He is always waiting

He walks beside you

His hand is wide open

To take yours and mine

The dream is for real life

To spend it connected

To love every other

As much as we can

May your pathway become clear, and your truth be revealed. Without needing to know you directly, I can tell you, I love you.

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What Will You Remember Most

I ran across an email about Charles Schultz philosophy on life. In case the name didn’t register right away, Charles Schultz is the creator of the comic characters of Peanuts…think Charlie Brown, Lucy, Snoopy and the gang.

If you’ve read his comic columns, you’ll know he packs a lot of wisdom into a few short entries. Clearly his work is beloved by millions, as evidenced by the long tenure of its appearance around the world.

I’m not sure if the quiz in the email is his or someone else’s but either way, it’s pretty valuable and I wanted to pass it along to you.

It starts with a series of questions. See if you can answer any of them.

  1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
  2. Name the last five Heisman Trophy winners.
  3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America contest.
  4. Name ten people who have won the Noble or Pulitzer prize.
  5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.
  6. Name the last decade’s worth of World Series winners.

How do you think you did? I’m sure my score would be abysmal, but that’s exactly the point.

We’re not very good at remembering the headliners of yesterday, despite the fact that they were the best in their fields at the time.

Their applause died. Their awards have perhaps become meaningless. Their achievements mostly forgotten.

There is a second quiz and I’m sure you’ll do very well on it.

  1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.
  2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
  3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.
  4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.
  5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.
  6. Name a half dozen heroes whose stories have inspired you.

How did that go?

For me, it was not only easier but was much more pleasurable. I loved being able to bring such beautiful, special, blessed people back into my mind. To travel a little more with them.

But one more thing happened. It made me want to reconnect with some of them in person, or at least by email or phone, if they live far away.

The initiator of this quiz, whether it was Charles Schultz or someone else, helps us see that the people who make a difference in our lives are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money or the most awards.

They are the ones who care about us. Who spend time in our presence, help nourish us with food or ideas or their divine essence.

And I believe the same is true of us. We are involved in others’ lives because we love them and want them to have a healthy, meaningful, joyous life.

So, here’s my addition…a third quiz for you (and for me).

  1. Who do you want to spend more quality time with?
  2. When do you want to make that happen?
  3. What joy do you want to enter your life?
  4. What are you prepared to give and to receive?

Because the New Year is coming, it feels like a great time to make some new things happen.

When I think about it, it matters what I choose, because when my life draws down toward the end, I want to know what my answers will be to the question…what will you remember most.

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The Greatest Good

Have you ever wondered what the ‘greatest good’ actually means and how it applies to your life?

In the circles I run in, it’s a pretty commonly used term. Most who use it point to things that happen in life that may at first appear to be ‘negative’, but when viewed from a different perspective, are actually ‘positive’ and yield desirable outcomes.

The trick is to see how this could possibly be true.

Appearances are usually very strong and hard to see beyond and our idea of ‘fairness’ enters the picture, sometimes with a vengeance. We often can’t accept the negative events as integral parts of our lives and don’t see that they can lead to some pretty fantastic results.

This whole process requires a mind shift. In order to see how life is always serving us, we have to be open to new perspectives. That’s a very hard thing when what we’re experiencing is a life that feels so painful.

I’ve struggled with this concept. I’ve had some successes, but also some abysmal failures at seeing into the distance far enough to accept or embrace the challenges I’ve faced as being part of a ‘positive’ path.

I’ve found that it requires constant reminders for me to remain open to the idea that all things work toward my greatest good. One day I decided to write a poem about this so that I’d have something to refer to when times were difficult for me.

It is also often the case that we want to relieve other’s suffering and pain, either directly or indirectly. We want to pray it away or wish it away. The problem is we don’t know what their greatest good is, no matter how perceptive we are.

Today, I’d like to share a poem with you, in the hopes that it might help you on your journey, both for yourself and for those you love.

Here it is, my friends.

There is a real beauty to our lives

Which sometimes fades

In the face of hardship

We feel the loss

And seek to restore our body

And make whole our spirit

Others open to us

Such loving

Beautiful souls

They want to share from their heart

Yet they too face a challenge

How do they live through their expectations

I hear them

They talk about letting go of the outcome

They speak about our highest, our greatest good

This is the tricky part

How is one to know another’s highest good

How is one to know that the greatest good may require

Descending deeper into suffering or sorrow

To follow a dark path before

Arising into bright light

How is one to know what is right for another

Since it can be so hard to see beyond the small slice of life

We become aware of

How do we rise above the challenge of the hoped for improvements

The desire for the lessening of another’s suffering

And the hope for reduction of their pain

Someone offers a consideration for us

They ask us

What about the idea

That the seeker is the one in charge

Of how much healing occurs

They ask us

What about the idea

That it is not the case of what

One is able to channel

As it is what the seeker chooses to allow in

And what of the idea

That the seekers spirit knows

What is best for their body and mind and heart

And that it always chooses wisely

That it is eminently trustworthy

And that the seeker will receive exactly

The right amount of energy

To sustain them

And what of the idea

That it is possible for both the seeker

And the channeler

To trust that the perfect plan is at work

For each of us

All the time

And therefore

To know

To feel certain

That no matter how it seems

Whether the outside pain

Grows or lessens

Intensifies or vanishes

That everything happens

Exactly as it ought

Is that amount of trust within us

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How You Love Me

If you’ve been reading my posts already, you’ll know that I have a very intimate relationship with the divine. We have conversations all the time. It can be when I have loads of time on my hands and we can have an hour or two long dialogues or it can be a brief inner talk while waiting in line somewhere.

I often wonder what you as a reader think when I say things like this.

Do you have your own conversations with the divine, so it seems normal to you? Or do you want to have a dialogue, but aren’t sure if it would work or what you would say or whether the divine would respond to you?

Do you think I am out of my head?

I probably am because I’m more fully in my heart and connected to spirit. I’ve been having conversations for so many years that I don’t think about whether they are real or possible or normal. They just happen.

One of the benefits of this is that I get to share them with you. If you’d like to engage in your own, please do. For me, all that is ‘required’ is to conceive the conversation is possible, to do your best to believe it and then give yourself some time to open, be quiet, then ask the divine to speak with you.

Often, I am overwhelmed with a sense of awe, wonder and a deep connection of love between us. I’d like to share one such ‘conversation’, which was really a love poem offered to me.

“How you love me”

I felt you speak to me

In answer to the opening of my heart

You let me know that the eventual

And ultimate outcome is already certain…

I come back to you

There is nothing quite as beautiful as this

In all of the world

To know you love me so much

That you want me back

In the meantime

It is so wonderful to know that

You do not require, expect or demand

Anything from me

And that your advice

Is just that…

Advice

It is meant to aid me in being happy

For that is what you want

What our dream and reality is about

You suggest

That I treasure each moment

That I accept and love

This moment

The only moment that actually exists

And if there are things I don’t like

To kiss them and let them go

Your voice is soft in saying

Love the moment

And let it go

You hear the noise inside me

And ask me to recognize

That when I feel weight on me

To see it, breathe it and release it

And know that you are not the source of this weight

You are never the source of it

You remind me again

If you don’t like it

Love it and let it go

You counsel

Be attentive

Be aware

Breathe

Remember always to breathe

Remember too

You get to choose

And choosing creates your reality

If it is not what you want

Or who you want to be

Simply choose differently

Until it is consistent

With whom you want to be

And what you want to experience

It may sound too simple

But I hear clearly you say,

Choose on purpose

Choose what you do

And be a reflection of the best you

You can be

And please know this

It is okay

To do it your own way

There is no need to please others

Just be you

And feel good about being you

I know that you know everything

And I am so happy to finally realize

That

I am enough

I have enough

I do enough

And

There is enough of everything

I am content now

Even though

I see only a small piece of the puzzle

I don’t need to know everything any more

What liberation that is to me

I am not responsible to judge anyone

What freedom this brings to me

I thank you for these dawning’s

They help me float above the surface

Of the world

And draw me closer to you

To love

My heart soars

With gratitude.

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Good Advice

I love reading the thoughts and advice of folks who have been around the block a time or two. I’m fast approaching their age and have seen for myself how valuable listening to others wisdom can positively impact my life.

I’d like to share something written by Regina Brett, a 90-year-old woman from Cleveland, Ohio. Her advice was printed in the local newspaper, The Plain Dealer.

She offers 45 lessons life has taught her. Obviously, they may not all apply to each of us, but there are so many good ones. I thought I’d pass them all along to you and you can decide for yourself which ones might make your world a better place.

Occasionally, I’ve added my own editorial comment in parentheses after her suggestion.

Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good

When in doubt, just take the next small step.

Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will. Stay in touch.

Pay off your credit cards every month.

You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.

It’s okay to get angry with God. He can take it. (or substitute ‘She’ or other pronoun or your word for God)

Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up your present.

It’s okay to let your children see you cry. (even if you are a man)

Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.

Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry, God never blinks.

Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.

Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger. (Not so sure about this one)

It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is you to you and no one else.

When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer. (as long as it doesn’t hurt others)

Burn the candle, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie, don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

Over prepare, then go with the flow.

Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.

The most important sex organ is the brain.

No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

Frame every so-called disaster with these words, “In five years will this matter?”

Always choose life.

Forgive everyone everything.

What other people think of you is none of your business.

Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

Believe in miracles.

God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.

Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

Growing old beats the alternative– dying young.

Your children get only one childhood.

All that truly matter in the end is that you loved.

Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.

Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

The best is yet to come.

No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

Yield.

Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s a gift.

So, there they are. I hope some of them are worth taking along on your life journey. Be well.

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Special Connections

One of the most beautiful things about life to me is that anything can become a beautiful divine moment.

It may be momentary, like a dew drop laying on a spider web glistening in the sun. Or it could be a lifetime friendship that begins with one word.

Never knowing feels like part of the magic and mystery. I’ve had lots of these moments during my life. I wait and I watch for them. I encourage them and it feels like more come when I am paying attention to life, rather than getting caught up in daily routines.

I worked for a non-profit agency and one of the opportunities each employee was offered was to wrap Christmas and Hannukah gifts at a local bookstore. Whatever the purchaser paid would be given to our agency to help fund our outreach into the community.

There was a sign-up sheet posted so I decided to book myself for an hour or two. I didn’t know very many of our staff at the time since I was new to the organization. That didn’t matter really because it seemed like such a nice thing to do and maybe I’d get to know someone better.

Well, imagine two strangers sitting waiting for folks to stop by and ask them to wrap presents. What else is there to do but talk? Ordinarily talk is about the weather or what you did over the weekend, not about things that really matter. Not about sharing from your depth with someone you barely know. Not about meeting somewhere in the middle of our earthly existence to see past everything else, to someone’s core. And not about saying out loud what you’ve never said before. Not about showing trust and not about believing someone could care enough to hear what you have to say.

These things just don’t happen.

But, in this case, that’s exactly what did happen.

I met a new friend, Carla, who would become one of my all-time favorite people and despite the fact that we live over a thousand miles away from each other and don’t talk very often, I still know in my heart we are deeply connected.

No subject seemed to be off the table that day while wrapping presents. We moved easily from one subject to the next. And we thoroughly enjoyed interacting with our customers, feeding of each other’s pleasure and the magic of the season.

I enjoyed the experience so much that I cut out a section of the paper we were using to wrap presents and wrote our names and the date on it and placed it on my bulletin board at work. It remained there for the thirteen years I worked there and came home with me.

Is it possible for me to tell anyone else how I’ve changed because someone else trusted me enough to be honest with me? Did I know then what beauty would be mine today because someone shared their truth with me?

It is one of those rare times when the giving and receiving mixed so thoroughly that we could not tell one from the other.

So, what did I learn that day?

Plenty. I learned that when you offer yourself the freedom to be a part of someone else’s life, you always profit, even if for only a moment. I learned that sharing is one of life’s most treasured gifts. I learned that taking one step can lead to a whole lifetime of rewards. I learned that by allowing myself to be honest, open, and trusting, I gain trust, openness, and honesty in return.

And I learned that there is magic and mystery in every moment I am prepared to give myself. I believe this is something worth remembering.

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Another View of Death

I realize that death is a very difficult topic for many people, both when thinking about the death of others and as it pertains to themselves.


We’re generally steeped in our cultural and religious views and tend to accept whatever we’ve been told since we were children. Perhaps every so often we’ll challenge some of what others told us, but mostly I think we run on autopilot, treating the whole issue of death based on how our parents or other influential people in our lives trained us.

I’m not sure exactly why, but I don’t automatically accept what others tell me. I’ve had to figure most things out for myself, to have them fit together in a way that makes sense to me or at least line up in some kind of order.

So, when I think about the subject of death, I challenge myself to see it from different perspectives.

One example of this is a poem I wrote. I wanted to explore with an open mind, so I sat and allowed thoughts, ideas, and pictures to form.

Here’s what came through me.

Death

God’s most misunderstood child

A child I’ve known and come to love completely

A guardian of the gate, a part of the dark mist before the veil

The first to welcome you back

before any of the bright lights appear

A beautiful poet with words that are music

An usher toward your own destination

according to your own beliefs

A friend who has waited patiently

for the moment of your choosing

How divine to know that true life begins with this child

What peace to know love and bliss share this child’s name

How thankful for this I am.

I feel a need to explain a little and to give you some context.

I have memories of life in heaven before I came to earth. They are mostly images and feelings and very difficult to translate into words. I think that’s the way it is with some things, they transcend what we are able to communicate to each other.

The poem attempts to offer an alternate view by sharing that death is a transition back to a place of love and bliss. I absolutely believe this. I know this because I’ve been there and will return once this earthly life is over. There is enormous peace in this.

I fully recognize that we all have your own set of beliefs surrounding death and that many of them are based on how deeply we miss those who have died, especially if it was under horrible circumstances.

I’m not saying that the associations with death are not painful or are easy to manage, but I do feel there is something important about knowing where we and those we love go to next, that can alter how we feel about death.

From my perspective of having been in heaven before coming here, I understand there is something very important to remember.

It may not feel right to you, because we judge things solely from our earth world perspective, but what I remember is that every essence is there in heaven. No essence is excluded, regardless of what role they played while on earth. We all came from heaven, and we all return to heaven, pure and sacred. And because of this, death means something different to me. Not an end, but a new beginning. A reunion with the divine.

There is a guardian at the gate who never judges, never refuses. They always welcome every essence back, because it is everyone’s home. Death is just the doorway we enter from.

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Teachers

Do you have a favorite teacher?

I’d be curious what it is or was about them that made them your choice. Maybe they brought something out of you that you didn’t think you had. Maybe they encouraged you, gave you emotional support as well as knowledge or perhaps they demonstrated a belief in you that inspired you. It could also be they lead by example, showing you what was possible.

When I think about the teachers from my past, there are several who stand out.

When my family moved from Watertown to Delmar, New York when I was eight years old, I was signed up to go to Elementary school a couple blocks from our house. Although I’d completed third grade, my new school wanted me to repeat it because I’d missed too many days. They were adamant, regardless of the fact that all of the days were due to excessive snow fall during the winter.

I was not happy and didn’t want to repeat third grade. After a week or so it was apparent that I had learned the third grade material, so I was allowed to move back up to fourth grade. Since I was new to the school, I didn’t know anyone, either in third or fourth grade and that made the situation even more difficult for me.

But things changed for me the moment I met my fourth grade teacher, Mrs. Hosey. She treated me as if she’d known me all my life. I didn’t get preferential treatment, I got the same love, caring and devotion she gave to all of her students.

The whole year was magical. She helped make everything interesting and she found a special place in my heart.

I guess I made an impression on her too because about eighteen years later she made a special trip to open up a new account with me at a bank I was working at. She said she wanted to support me in my career. What an incredible gift she gave me, to know that I was loved.

When I went to college I felt completely out of water. Everything seemed challenging and I relied on my college advisor to smooth some of the way. Unfortunately, she recommended a four-credit science class more suited to pre-med students than to me for my first term. I got a D minus which wreaked havoc with my cumulative average. In fact, it landed me on academic probation. If I didn’t get my act together, I was going to Viet Nam.

Here’s where things changed again. Enter another one of my favorite teachers, Dr. Keiter from the Religion department. He taught a fascinating course and we clicked. I got an A minus and dug myself out of the hole I was in. Better than that, I found a kindred spirit. I took every course I could with Dr. Keiter and found them all extremely worthwhile. He was approachable, thoughtful, curious, and appreciative, all qualities every great teacher possesses.

The other college professor who helped change my life was, Dr. Bocher, who taught a course titled, Conversations In Biology. If I had taken that course first, I might have pursued a career in science, because she made it both intriguing and delightful. With her passion and teaching style I understood at a basic level, then was able to extend to more and more complex concepts. She was also approachable and would answer all my questions, often remaining after class to do so.

Many years after graduating I saw a notice in my college newsletter stating that Dr. Bocher was in an Assisted Living facility and would love to hear from past students. I jumped at the chance to tell her how much she meant to me. I never received a response but am trusting that she got my letter and knew how important she was to me and how significantly she’d influenced my life.

So, when you think back about the teachers in your life, are there some who helped inspire you or changed your life in certain ways? Perhaps you are a teacher and do this for others. If so, bless you.

I think in many ways we are all each other’s teachers.

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Feel Good Opportunity

I confess, I look forward to any opportunity to increase my sense of happiness and joy. Perhaps you do to.

Well, I have a suggestion for you. But first I want to preface by saying that I received this idea one day via email at work. I was so impressed and excited, I decided to invite my coworkers to join me in giving it a try.

Here’s the email I received.

One day a teacher asked her students to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving space in between each name. Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down. It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed in the papers. That Saturday the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a separate piece of paper. And listed what everyone said about that individual. On Monday, she gave each student his or her list. Before long the entire class was smiling. “Really?”, she heard whispered. “I never knew I meant anything to anyone!” and “I didn’t know others liked me so much”, were most of the comments. No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. She never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn’t matter. The exercise accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and with one another. That group of students moved on. Several years later, one of the students was killed in Viet Nam and the teacher attended his funeral. She had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin. He looked so handsome and mature. The church was packed with his friends. One by one those who loved him took a walk by his coffin. The teacher was the last to bless the coffin. As she stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as a pallbearer came up to her. “Were you Mark’s math teacher?” She nodded, “yes”. Then he said, “Mark talked about you a lot.” After the funeral, most of Mark’s former classmates went together to a luncheon. Mark’s mother and father were there, obviously waiting to speak to his teacher, “We want to show you something,” his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket. “they found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it.” Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded, and refolded many times. The teacher knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which she had listed all the good things Mark’s classmates had said about him. “Thank you so much for doing that,” Mark’s mother said. “As you can see, Mark treasured it.” All of Marks’ former classmates started to gather around. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, “I still have my list. It’s in the top drawer of my desk at home.” Chuck’s wife said, “Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album.” “I have mine too,” Marilyn said, “It’s in my diary.” Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group, “I carry this with me at all times. Vicki said without batting an eyelash, “I think we all saved our lists.” That’s when the teacher finally sat down and cried. She cried for Mark and for all his friends who would never see him again.

This story had such a profound impact on me that I decided to try it at work. I had no idea whether my coworkers would participate, but I hoped they would. I explained the idea and provided an employee list of everyone at our agency, leaving space for them to make positive comments and telling them they could use the back of the paper too, if they wanted. I gave them some time to complete it and return it to me and told them I would give each of them their custom list with everyone ese’s comments once I had a chance to write them out.

I wondered if there would be any crazy comments that I might feel compelled to edit but there weren’t. They were all wonderful and very complimentary. It was a joy to complete each employees list and to see what they all said about me.

I handed each person their list.

As with the teacher, I didn’t hear much feedback, only that it was a nice thing to do.

Personally, I love my list. There were so many complimentary things said about me. I immediately posted on my office bulletin board and often stood in front of it and reread them all, especially on some of my tougher days at work.

Many years later, I still have my list and every once in a while, I’ll run into a former coworker, and they’ll tell me they still have theirs too. So cool!