Category: learning

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Special Connections

One of the most beautiful things about life to me is that anything can become a beautiful divine moment.

It may be momentary, like a dew drop laying on a spider web glistening in the sun. Or it could be a lifetime friendship that begins with one word.

Never knowing feels like part of the magic and mystery. I’ve had lots of these moments during my life. I wait and I watch for them. I encourage them and it feels like more come when I am paying attention to life, rather than getting caught up in daily routines.

I worked for a non-profit agency and one of the opportunities each employee was offered was to wrap Christmas and Hannukah gifts at a local bookstore. Whatever the purchaser paid would be given to our agency to help fund our outreach into the community.

There was a sign-up sheet posted so I decided to book myself for an hour or two. I didn’t know very many of our staff at the time since I was new to the organization. That didn’t matter really because it seemed like such a nice thing to do and maybe I’d get to know someone better.

Well, imagine two strangers sitting waiting for folks to stop by and ask them to wrap presents. What else is there to do but talk? Ordinarily talk is about the weather or what you did over the weekend, not about things that really matter. Not about sharing from your depth with someone you barely know. Not about meeting somewhere in the middle of our earthly existence to see past everything else, to someone’s core. And not about saying out loud what you’ve never said before. Not about showing trust and not about believing someone could care enough to hear what you have to say.

These things just don’t happen.

But, in this case, that’s exactly what did happen.

I met a new friend, Carla, who would become one of my all-time favorite people and despite the fact that we live over a thousand miles away from each other and don’t talk very often, I still know in my heart we are deeply connected.

No subject seemed to be off the table that day while wrapping presents. We moved easily from one subject to the next. And we thoroughly enjoyed interacting with our customers, feeding of each other’s pleasure and the magic of the season.

I enjoyed the experience so much that I cut out a section of the paper we were using to wrap presents and wrote our names and the date on it and placed it on my bulletin board at work. It remained there for the thirteen years I worked there and came home with me.

Is it possible for me to tell anyone else how I’ve changed because someone else trusted me enough to be honest with me? Did I know then what beauty would be mine today because someone shared their truth with me?

It is one of those rare times when the giving and receiving mixed so thoroughly that we could not tell one from the other.

So, what did I learn that day?

Plenty. I learned that when you offer yourself the freedom to be a part of someone else’s life, you always profit, even if for only a moment. I learned that sharing is one of life’s most treasured gifts. I learned that taking one step can lead to a whole lifetime of rewards. I learned that by allowing myself to be honest, open, and trusting, I gain trust, openness, and honesty in return.

And I learned that there is magic and mystery in every moment I am prepared to give myself. I believe this is something worth remembering.

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Teachers

Do you have a favorite teacher?

I’d be curious what it is or was about them that made them your choice. Maybe they brought something out of you that you didn’t think you had. Maybe they encouraged you, gave you emotional support as well as knowledge or perhaps they demonstrated a belief in you that inspired you. It could also be they lead by example, showing you what was possible.

When I think about the teachers from my past, there are several who stand out.

When my family moved from Watertown to Delmar, New York when I was eight years old, I was signed up to go to Elementary school a couple blocks from our house. Although I’d completed third grade, my new school wanted me to repeat it because I’d missed too many days. They were adamant, regardless of the fact that all of the days were due to excessive snow fall during the winter.

I was not happy and didn’t want to repeat third grade. After a week or so it was apparent that I had learned the third grade material, so I was allowed to move back up to fourth grade. Since I was new to the school, I didn’t know anyone, either in third or fourth grade and that made the situation even more difficult for me.

But things changed for me the moment I met my fourth grade teacher, Mrs. Hosey. She treated me as if she’d known me all my life. I didn’t get preferential treatment, I got the same love, caring and devotion she gave to all of her students.

The whole year was magical. She helped make everything interesting and she found a special place in my heart.

I guess I made an impression on her too because about eighteen years later she made a special trip to open up a new account with me at a bank I was working at. She said she wanted to support me in my career. What an incredible gift she gave me, to know that I was loved.

When I went to college I felt completely out of water. Everything seemed challenging and I relied on my college advisor to smooth some of the way. Unfortunately, she recommended a four-credit science class more suited to pre-med students than to me for my first term. I got a D minus which wreaked havoc with my cumulative average. In fact, it landed me on academic probation. If I didn’t get my act together, I was going to Viet Nam.

Here’s where things changed again. Enter another one of my favorite teachers, Dr. Keiter from the Religion department. He taught a fascinating course and we clicked. I got an A minus and dug myself out of the hole I was in. Better than that, I found a kindred spirit. I took every course I could with Dr. Keiter and found them all extremely worthwhile. He was approachable, thoughtful, curious, and appreciative, all qualities every great teacher possesses.

The other college professor who helped change my life was, Dr. Bocher, who taught a course titled, Conversations In Biology. If I had taken that course first, I might have pursued a career in science, because she made it both intriguing and delightful. With her passion and teaching style I understood at a basic level, then was able to extend to more and more complex concepts. She was also approachable and would answer all my questions, often remaining after class to do so.

Many years after graduating I saw a notice in my college newsletter stating that Dr. Bocher was in an Assisted Living facility and would love to hear from past students. I jumped at the chance to tell her how much she meant to me. I never received a response but am trusting that she got my letter and knew how important she was to me and how significantly she’d influenced my life.

So, when you think back about the teachers in your life, are there some who helped inspire you or changed your life in certain ways? Perhaps you are a teacher and do this for others. If so, bless you.

I think in many ways we are all each other’s teachers.

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Garage Sale Insights

It is my personal belief that every single thing I encounter in my life has meaning. The fact is I miss most of the learnings I could be experiencing because I don’t grasp them at the time. Occasionally, something will connect after the fact, but I sense the majority passes me by.

How is it for you? Do you feel that you’re missing some of the valuable things happening in your life? Would you like to find ways to change this and live a richer life?

I’m trying to change some of my ways I experience my life, to deepen my awareness and to connect the dots, so that my life expands, grows, becomes more joy filled.

Now, you might not expect to find anything valuable in hosting a garage sale, but for me, many gifts presented themselves. Perhaps it was because I intended to find them. I chose to open myself up and look closely, believing gifts would appear and enrich my heart.

I wondered, if it is as simple as that, why don’t I do this all of the time? Maybe it’s an issue of practice, as well as attention.

My daughter and I share many traits, one of which is a giving heart. We agreed that we would let every customer pay whatever they felt items were worth. We both recognized this was an unusual choice, since most of those who organize and hold garage sales are trying to maximize their earnings. For us, we wanted to release the things we were selling and have happy customers.

Although we did price some items, if someone asked for a reduced price, we granted it immediately. For the rest of the items we sold, we accepted whatever the customer decided to pay.

This was one of my first learnings.

It seems everyone loves a bargain and there were in fact many who were quite happy to be able to purchase things at minimal costs, but there were also many who would not buy at the deflated prices we suggested. It was simply too good a deal for them, so they paid more than we asked.

Curious…why do you suppose that is?

One conclusion I drew was that they wanted a fairer trade and did not want to take advantage of our generosity. Maybe there are several explanations for this, but it was always fascinating to watch their faces and try to read their thoughts.

Another learning was about the value of human connection.

My daughter, Jenny, and I greeted everyone who came to our garage sale, young, old, and in between. This seemed to surprise many who stopped by. They stood for a moment, looked at us, smiled and said ‘hello’ back. Seeing their returned smiles lit me up and made my day. No one passed by without acknowledging us. It was a beautiful thing, and I am still energized by the recall of it.

It shows me that all of us here on earth can get along, we can make valuable contact with each other, we can extend ourselves, even if just a little bit. This fills me with hope and wonder.

It was also fun to meet neighbors and catch up with friends who stopped to check things out. There is something magical and mysterious about our human connections and I constantly find that I am overwhelmed (in a good way) with how much we want and need each other. Despite enjoying my alone time, I love feeling deeply connected to others, even if it’s during a garage sale.

Jenny and I both felt very satisfied to have released our grip on the things we own, to share them with others and to make a little money for ourselves.

An idea surfaced for each of us, to only buy something new if we were prepared to give up something old. I’m not sure if it will stick, but I’m sure we’ll learn something valuable no matter what happens.