Category: truth

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What If Today…

I want to share something that I wrote for a dear friend of mine recently. It was intended to provide a spark to ignite a different way of viewing life. It was something that I needed. As with all of my posts, the thoughts and words arrive for me and then moved outward into the world.

The post is a dream in a way. Of a richer life. And of course, as it is in all cases, it depends on what we choose. I wonder to myself what will I choose, I wonder too, what will you choose?

What if today…

What if today…I choose to believe…to truly accept and embrace…that every single thing that happens to me is here to benefit me. What if I choose to see beyond appearances and all of the things that blind me. What if I give myself permission to believe that I am loved and cared for and know that everything I experience in my life is there to offer me something of value. That no matter what the world tells me, I can choose my own path. What if I embrace that my heart and spirit are the ones that set me free.

What if today I release any need to control the uncontrollable. What if I spruce up my ability to yield and let go of all the things that weigh me down…to set them aside and feel the precious liberation and the expansive freedom that choice creates.

What if today I collect all the most lovable parts of me and hug them and ask them to spread their joy throughout my body…my life.

What if today I allow every sorrow, pain, challenge, and concern to take the day off…to rest…what if I placed them all gently in the ocean of bliss that is my true home, where they can be washed clean.

What if, for one day, I give up needing to be in charge of anything and allow life to flow gently through me.

What if today…I breathe in peace and breathe out love.

What if today…is that day.

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Pep Talk

I have two questions for you. Don’t worry, they’re pretty easy.

The first is…do you believe you know when someone is not telling you the truth?

I can’t say with any sense of confidence that I always can. I think there are many times when others fool me. I might have an impression one way or the other, but I’m not one hundred percent sure.

I wonder what your answer is and how sure you are.

My second question is…do you know when you are telling yourself something untrue?

This one is easier for me, how about you?

I believe I almost always know when I’m trying to convince myself that something is true. There is a certain feeling I experience. A kind of ‘knowing’.

I wonder if you experience this same inner sense.

Okay, so you may be wondering why I asked you these two questions and what it has to do with a ‘pep talk’.

I’ll start by introducing two concepts that are popular in our culture. The first is the idea of ‘fake it until you make it’ and the second is the notion that ‘you can make something come true merely by attempting to manifest or attract it’.

Let me first say that if these work for you, please ignore everything I’m going to say. Somehow, you’ve discovered a way to reap the rewards of this kind of thinking.

But for me, neither idea works as advertised and the main reason is that they both represent lies I would be telling myself. Because I can tell when I’m not being truthful with myself, I cannot create fake feelings or manifest anything I don’t believe possible.

I simply won’t buy this kind of story without some evidence to support it, no matter how much I might want it. If you’re like me, telling yourself a fictional story (ie: that you are rich beyond your wildest dreams) does not make it so. And similarly, trying to convince yourself that you can attract anything just because you would like it to be so, does not work.

Certainly, I have hopes and dreams and want things but in order for me to experience them I need to find a different way.

Here’s the pep talk part.

I believe each of us has incredible promise and potential, in some part received at birth, in other parts taught to us or discovered by us. Capitalizing on what we already have and taking the next step, that is a way forward for each of us.

Asking for help, putting forth effort, taking advantage of opportunities, either presented to us or pursued by us, these are ways to experience what we want in life.

Expecting it to come to us by some mysterious means or without effort on our part seems to me an entirely unrealistic notion.

I firmly believe each of us in capable of taking the next step, whatever it might be, either with others help or because we actively pursue it ourselves. Taking one step leads to taking another and before you know it, you’re taking aim toward what you intend to experience.

I’d like to cheerlead you in this process. I encourage you to take action, no matter the size, then take some more. Don’t worry if the steps are sometimes sideways or backwards, just keeping moving. Congratulate yourself for what you accomplish and savor the experience. And once in a while tell yourself ‘BRAVO’ for your efforts…you are a superstar.

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What is Your Word Worth

On Christmas day I bet my grandson, Evan, $100 that he couldn’t throw his new basketball off their second story deck into his basketball hoop forty feet away. Mind you I’d already tried this twenty times without success, so I didn’t really think there was a strong chance that he’d be able to make the shot. But all sorts of things happen in this world.

After his third unsuccessful attempt he asked me how many more tries he could have. I told him he could keep going as long as he wanted.

On his next shot the ball whisked through the air headed right for the basketball hoop and swished through the net. As expected, he was overjoyed, both because he’d made a difficult shot and because he would be $100 richer.

We both whooped and screamed at his triumph. It was a great moment for each of us to savor.

Of course, you may be wondering what happened next.

Well, I don’t usually carry an extra $100 in cash in my wallet, so I couldn’t give it to him when he ran up to me and asked for his payout. He knew we’d be seeing each other the next day, so I told him he could have it then, which seemed to appease him.

Now, $100 is a pretty significant amount of money and there are those in the world who like to offer promises but have no intentions of delivering. They find ways to wiggle out of their agreements. Adults are particularly adept at this, especially when it comes to comes to children. They make a case that they didn’t really mean it or that they were just kidding, or they’d be happy to pay some lesser amount.

I did not want to be one of these adults.

I want my word to mean something, so that when I give it, others can rely on it, especially children. They are often told untruths, led on with the sole purpose of getting them to comply or they are given something less than promised. This breeds a deep lack of trust and erodes good foundations.

I knew that delivering on my promise was entirely up to me. No one could make me pay up and I could have chosen to convince myself that I was joking about my offer. But what would that teach him about me? What would it teach me about myself?

The next night our extended family was going out to dinner together. When everyone sat down, I asked Evan to come over to me. I took out five twenty-dollar bills and handed them to him. His face lit up. I could tell his nine-year-old brain was contemplating what he could do with his winnings.

I asked him if he thought that I would actually pay him the $100. He looked at me and responded with a ‘yes’. I wanted to satisfy my curiosity, so I asked him what he would have thought if I didn’t keep my word and pay him. He looked straight into my eyes and said, “I would have thought that you don’t tell the truth.”

And there it was. Exactly what I thought. He would have lumped me in with all those who lie to him or those who cannot be trusted.

Deep inside me, I knew without hesitation that this was a defining moment for us. He may not always believe me, but for right now, our foundation is strong, and our eyes can see each other’s truth.

To me, $100 is a small price to pay for his belief in me.

What is your word worth to you?

Does it represent who you are as a person in this world? Can you be counted on to deliver what you promise? Is it important that you live up to your own truth?

My hope is that I can always answer these questions from a place of inner conviction, knowing I have a strong foundation.

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Letting Go

I made a promise to myself in October of 2020, that when I started writing these posts twice a week, I would be honest. I would tell my story without holding back. Without being afraid you, as a reader, would turn away from me.

Without the truth, what do we have?

Today I want to share a poem I wrote several years ago. It was true then and is true now.

Since I was young, I’ve felt a special connection to Jesus, who I now call, Yeshiwa (Yeshua), his name in his native tongue of Aramaic. I wrote this poem as a conversation between us, a way of gaining a better understanding of my life and finding a way of letting go.

I’m sure you have your own sense of what the truth is, and I would never ask you to accept anything I have to say (ever) if it does not feel right to you. My role in this life and with these posts is to share with you what feels true to me and invite you to decide for yourself. Being connected is its own divine gift.

So, here is my conversation.

I am connected to you

I feel it all the way through me

I know I can be you

If I am prepared

If I find the way

The narrow path

I wonder

What will I have to give up

Change, surrender, abandon

I wonder

How is it possible to open

As wide as you

What sort of strength will that take

Who can help me

Can you, do you want to

Must I make a hole in my roof

To be in your presence

I am listening closely

For your voice

Your touch

Your certain peace

My heart hears you calling me

I am invited into your courtyard

You wish to speak with me

It is hard to calm my spirit

To slow the questions

Difficult to breathe

I want to give you my heart

I volunteer it

You say that it is not necessary

That you have your own

That I need mine

You want to make sure

I am listening

So you wait

Till my eyes are soft

My heart quiet

I hear your words

Inside of me

Hard words for me to understand.

You tell me not to try to be you

There is only ever going to be

One of you

I misunderstand

I think inside me

A soft scolding

How could I think I could be you

But that’s not it

It’s not what you meant

You were clear

But I am cloudy

You try again

You ask a part of me to let go

To relax into silence

So I can truly hear you

I ask my ego

To lie down

And take a nap

And when I hear it snoring

I open as wide as I can

And you start again

You say there is only ever

One of each of us

We are different grains of sand that make up the beach

This is how it is

And it is beautiful this way

You fill me

With wonder

You tell me

That all of my trying

Has both made me who I am

And kept me from being who

I can be

And that it is time

To decide

There is no wrong decision

I can stay where I am

I love and am loved

Right where I am

And no harm will come to me

From not moving

From this place

Yet

I know

There is something ahead

Calling to me

I hear the most beautiful music

Pulling me

Gently into the light

Oh, the hallowed light

No more a dream

But real

How long I have waited

For this

You smile

You guide

You take my hand in yours

I could die happily

Right now in your arms

Oh, to be with you

I look into your eyes

I hear you

I hear you tell me

We are all each other’s saviors

There are other things

You want me to know

Am I ready

To hear them

I surely hope so

It feels as though a great deal

Depends on it

I hear you speak of freedom

Of letting my spirit go

Just simply letting go

I hear you tell me

To trust you

To trust me

That all this holding

All this planning

All this fear

About the future

About my present

It is so unnecessary

There is so much pain

Doubt

So many tears

You tell me

It was never meant to be this way

And that I never meant

To live this way

But somehow

I changed my mind

And although it has taken

A long time

I see now

Where my heart truly belongs

You ask me

If I am ready

I hear my own voice

Saying

Yes, I am ready

So ready

Now what

I ask

You breathe words into me

Give it all away

You say

Every last thing

Hold nothing

Hold nothing back

Hold nothing in

Let it all be free

Part of me understands this

Part does not

How

How is this done

I want to

I want to let go

Of everything

I can not hold the weight of it any more

I don’t want to

Are you sure

I ask myself

It’s hard to let go

Even though it is what I want

What I need

So I come to this

It is up to me to choose

And so I do

I choose to let go

And I feel

Something

Sacred happen

And

It feels like home

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Everyone Is Worthy

I want to share a story from my life with you.

I know from personal experience, as I’m sure you do too, that sometimes we’re not treated as if we are worthy. It isn’t a very good feeling. I try to remember this and acknowledge the innate value we each possess.

One day many years ago, during a particularly hot summer, a man rang our doorbell. As I opened the door he stepped back and began his speech. He was trying to sell magazines to fund his tuition for college. He said it was a special program designed for people like him. Before I could ask, he told me who ‘people like him’ were. He’d had a tough youth, which was another way of saying he’d been in trouble all his life. He told me he’d grown up in the projects in downtown Albany and used to sell crack. He said he was really good at it, but not good enough. He finally learned you couldn’t survive very long doing that.

I think it’s possible to tell if another person is lying to you by looking into their eyes, if you can look long enough. I also think there are people who can stand the stare for a long time without showing the truth. I knew I wouldn’t have the length of time it would take, so I just decided to believe him.

I wasn’t the only one home that day. My son, Tommy, was there too. He was playing games in his bedroom, like any other eight-year-old would do and waiting for me to come back. I guess I was gone too long, so he came looking for me. He found me sitting on the front porch talking with a man he didn’t know. He watched and listened to us through the screen door. After a couple of minutes, he came out, sat next to me, and asked what we were doing. The man showed him the magazine choices we could make and made sure Tommy saw the one all about video games. He told Tommy that the subscription prices were the best and it would help him to be able to go to college and change his life. He told Tommy a bit about how it was for him growing up and how much trouble he’d gotten into. And that he’d been really bad but was hoping to get another chance. The order form had other people’s names on it, and he hoped we’d sign up for a couple of magazines. Tommy and I looked the form over. Tommy quietly looked up at me and said, “are we really going to order these Dad?”. I told him we were, and he looked at me with a funny, questioning expression.

The man seemed pleased with our order and told me he’d accept cash or a check. I asked him if he was thirsty and when he said yes, I offered him a soda, which he happily accepted. I went inside to get the soda and a check. I gave them to him, and we talked about things for a while. He wasn’t in a big hurry and seemed to like hanging around with us. Somehow, we got on to the subject of birthdays. I asked him if he could wait a minute because I had something for him, but I had to get it from inside the house. He said he’d wait. After a minute I was back and he eyed me kind of sideways, trying to figure out what I was doing.

I handed him some folded bills and told him it might help with his second chance. He looked at me in a way no one else ever had. It was part surprise and part disbelief. A look I’ll never forget.

He asked me why I was doing this. I asked if he had a birthday and he said, “sure.” I told him that as far as I was concerned, today was his birthday and this was his birthday gift.

He just sat there shaking his head for a long, long time. His eyes got a little misty and he looked away. When he looked back at me, he said, “nobody has ever done anything like this for me.” It apparently was beyond him to understand why anyone would do such a thing for someone they didn’t even know. In that moment, truth came into his eyes. The truth about the magazines and the truth about his second chance. He left a little while later. As he walked away Tommy asked me whether we were ever going to see the magazines. I told him that I didn’t think so. That same puzzled look came back to him, and he looked up at me saying, “then why did you give him the money?”

The man, who was almost to the corner by now, turned back to us. He smiled and waved. I looked down at Tommy and said, “that’s why.”

We never did get the magazines. And I never saw the man again. But it really doesn’t matter to me because we all changed that day and it is still one of my favorite days ever.

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Threat Assessment

Do you always feel safe?

Or are you constantly aware that a certain amount of danger always exists? Perhaps it comes and goes depending on your circumstances.

Recently I was considering this issue and as I thought my way through it, some interesting ideas surfaced. I offer them to you for your consideration.

Five Aspects: Physical, Emotional, Mental, Spiritual and Ego

We are each comprised of five aspects. Each of these aspects focuses on specific areas of our lives and each is important and contributes to the whole. Ideally, they work in harmony, but sometimes they don’t, and this creates imbalances regardless of which aspect is challenged.

Ego’s Role

The ego’s job is to protect us from whatever it believes might pose a threat to us, whether it is true or not. Sometimes the ego can’t tell the difference, so it needs help from the other aspects.

Ego Messages

When the ego believes something is a threat, it reacts by sending messages to the other aspects, When they receive the message(s) they respond creating all sorts of reactions, many of which disturb the normal harmony that exists. When this happens repeatedly patterns are formed so that the same reaction(s) happen automatically.

If the message is received with a high intensity, the risk response is perceived to be greater, and this contributes to a stronger automatic response pattern. Even messages that are similar can create the same type of patterned response. Without some reason to change the automatic response, there is a linking that occurs. You encounter a threat, an automatic message is sent and received, and the same physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual reaction occurs, which creates programmed patterns, which then become your default settings.

All of this is based on a PERCEIVED threat, which our ego has detected and believes could represent danger and harm to us. It becomes very important to evaluate whether the threat is TRUE or FALSE, rather than accepting it at face value. There is great benefit to asking whether there is any tangible evidence to support the threat?

So, we can offer ourselves the opportunity to determine whether the threat is valid or a misperception by exercising our free will. We can step back and consider, using the intelligence of each of our aspects; physical, emotional, mental, spiritual and ego.

I find I often learn best when I reflect on an example. Maybe you do too, so, here’s one of mine. I am always fascinated by how significant this one simple event has turned out to be. It shed a brilliant, bright light on how important it was for me to break the cycle of automatic programed responses that did not represent the truth. They were merely default settings. They were based on incorrect information either told to me by others or misperceived by me.

Earlier in my life I formed a belief (based on what others told me) that if I was physically cold, I would ‘catch a cold’. This played out over and over in my life and was an extremely strong default setting. That is until one day some part of me challenged this idea. A tiny voice inside asked, “Do you truly believe that all one billion people living on this earth catch colds when their physical bodies are cold?” A heard the voice say something like, “That’s rubbish and can’t possibly be true. Maybe it’s time to take another look at your threat assessment and automatic responses that lead to this default setting.”

I began to recognize that my physical body was experiencing a symptom (being cold) which did NOT necessarily need to lead to having a physical cold, so I started to tell myself a new story. A story where I was stronger than I’d previously thought and where I was healthy and resilient. I informed my ego that its threat assessment was inaccurate and then shifted my default setting from weak (catching a cold) to strong (moving on with my life as a healthy being).

What I realized was that I could do that with any default setting that I felt no longer served me. What a fabulous turn of events. Rather than allow automatic settings to rule my life, I now question my assumptions and seek valuable evidence in support of what is actually happening. What a liberation.

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Happiness and Joy

How do you measure your happiness?

Chances are if you are dieting, it is measured by whether you gain or lose weight. The changes may only be temporary, but they seem very important at the time. Of course, it’s possible to look deeper and evaluate according to the lifestyle changes you’ve made, even if they don’t directly impact your weight, but represent a healthier life plan for you.

Do you have other happiness measures?

Perhaps the size of your bank account, the funds in your investment portfolio, the car you drive, the number of friends you have, your athletic prowess or some other skill you possess?

Maybe your happiness is tied to something else entirely.

When I ponder this, I often land in the same place, asking myself whether my happiness is merely temporary? Is it easily stolen by someone else, based on their comments or opinions? Is my happiness too fragile or dependent on what happens to me?

These questions prompt me to reconsider the basis or source of my happiness. I confess I’ve struggled with this a lot.

I remember a time in college when my whole life seemed to be falling apart. My studies had stagnated, I had the absolute worst dorm room on campus, right next to the stairwell and common area lounge, facing the side of a hill so that little light penetrated and constantly being barraged by noise all day and all night.

Then my grandfather died. I was very close to him, and it hurt to think he was gone, and I didn’t even get to say goodbye. Not only that, but I also wasn’t invited home for the funeral. I guess my parents thought I’d miss too much school. Not one of their best decisions.

It’s likely you’ve had your own experiences of suffering, where happiness seemed a distant memory, if any memory at all.

Of course, life is balanced. There are up periods of happiness, and they are wonderful while they last, but some part of us knows they are temporary. There is an ebb and flow to happiness, and I believe everyone moves through its curve.

I wonder, what do we do when the unhappiness comes for us?

It took a long time for me to realize the problem I have with happiness is the source it arises from…my thoughts. I seem completely reliant on what I am thinking, placing my treasure there. Inside me, I know there must be a better way.

So, I do what I always do when my mind cannot solve a problem in my life, I drop into my heart to see what I am feeling, because my feelings shed light, guiding me forward.

I realize I have to wait, giving my mind a chance to release its hold and allowing my feelings to become clear. While I wait, I breathe in and out slowly, letting my heart open.

An awareness dawns on me. Happiness is fleeting because it is of the mind. It is my head telling me how I should feel. No wonder it comes and goes, because my mind wanders everywhere.

The awareness draws out a truth I have hidden inside. A truth that tells me happiness will always fluctuate.

It shares with me that what I want is…joy. Joy comes from the heart. It raises me up and cannot be stolen or destroyed.

I want to know more. I want to know the source of joy.

I am told, joy is the source. Joy and love are joined, forever in union, always available to me.

How, I ask?

I am told, remember that you are part of this joy, this love. Look outward into the world and see its reflection everywhere. Remember there is joy and love, even in those things you consider to be unhappy. Look past the surface. Look deeper and you will see the truth.

I want to believe this. I want to believe that I am a part of the joy and love that is my source. I want to remember.

For this moment, I understand I am being asked to trust this truth. It is up to me. And it is up to you too. What shall we do?

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Standing In Your Own Truth

Have you ever wondered how you can stand in your own truth and speak from your heart what feels real and genuine to you?

Each of us is surrounded by a culture that influences us every moment of our lives. Our own thoughts and beliefs can be easily overshadowed and when we do use our voice others may not hear us or accept us.  It can be even more challenging because cultures need for conformity may be too binding and restrict our freedom of expression.

I’ve felt the weight of this many times in my life, and I wondered what Lia, a feminine, ethereal voice of god that speaks with me, would say about this. So, I asked, “How can I come to stand in my own truth.”

She answered, “By consciously releasing yourself (your self) from whatever power holds you back, recognizing it was placed there by others (for their purposes). They only have power over you if you accept it and allow it. You are free to choose and do not have to give your power away to them.”

I responded, “So, I don’t have to accept what others have told me nor what they will tell me in the future?” I needed more reassurance.

Lia paused, then said, “No, not now and not ever. You came here to earth with an inner knowing that guides you to your truth. Whether you believe this and trust it is another thing.”

Continuing, she added, “All throughout your life you will be challenged to decide what and who to believe. You will need to consider what you know inside you to be the truth and then decide to follow this or accept what the world teaches you and expects you to believe. Part of your difficulty is that you are in ‘relationship’ with others, and this makes it challenging to stand in your own truth, because they want you to stand in theirs.”

I recognize my own temptation to concede, to take the easy way and comply with the world around me, except that when I do, a part of me feels shaken, unhappy, and angry, as if I’ve let myself down.

She heard me and responded, “Yes, that’s because a part of you always wants to stand in your own truth and your own light. Whenever you accept anything that does not feel true to you, a conflict arises. You know something is wrong and this generates these feelings you have …and more.”

I asked, “And the sole remedy for this is to stand in my own truth and light?” She nodded yes and I asked, “Given how deeply trained I am by my culture and how strong the demands and expectations are upon me, how do I do this?”

“By letting go of all resistance to anything. You may believe that if you recognize how culture is demanding something from you that you do not want to give, that fighting and resisting it will work to free you. It won’t because it is true what you’ve heard, ‘that which you resist, persists’. It’s like you have a ball and chain around your ankle. You think you are free, but it follows you everywhere.”

I was confused and asked, “Aren’t they the same thing said two different ways?”

She explained so that I could understand, “No, resist mothing means you do not fight against things (ideas, expectations, requirements). It means you see what is there, but don’t pick it up and hold it inside of you. You do not make it a part of you.”

Going on, Lia added, “Release means letting go of what is already within you which does not feel like your truth. All the ideas that a part of you knows do not agree with your truth. It means you see them and know they do not serve you, so you allow them to fall away from you.”

I responded, “So, resist nothing means recognizing what others outside of me believe, but not making it a part of me, unless it feels like a part of my truth. And releasing means seeing what is inside of me that no longer feels like my truth and letting it go.”

I could sense Lia smiling and hear her say, “Yes, it is a divine process. A cleansing and washing clean and what remains is YOUR truth. This is where you speak from. This is the light that shines within and through you into the world.”

I am so grateful for her presence in my life and her encouragement to stand in my own truth and light.

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Speaking Your Truth

If someone asked you what speaking your truth means to you, what would you say?

Some might say that it means being honest with others about how you feel and what you think. Or it could mean expressing yourself in a way that mirrors your inner thoughts and ideas clearly, so that another understands your position about something.

It might also mean taking a stand about something truly important to you. And maybe even more critically, taking action to ensure others know how dedicated you are to whatever cause or concern you support.

When I was thinking about what I consider to be my answer, I reflected on a number of obstacles that get in my way making it difficult to speak my truth. Perhaps you’ve encountered some of them as well.

In my ordinary day to day life, it is often challenging to separate out what is most important to me from the host of tasks I feel I need to complete on any given day. Some of the mundane chores seem to take up so much time that it feels like I run out of time. I’m sure this is not really the case, but it feels like it to me and I recognize my perceptions rule my life.

Another, and very different issue, is that I can initially become quite concerned about what others think about what I say (speaking my truth) and either disagree with me or disregard me. I realize I have no control over their reactions, nor do I really want any, and that it is wise to release any vested interest in their opinions, but a human part of me is tempted anyway.

An additional obstacle is that I don’t always fully know what my truth is. I may have picked up on hints or formed parts of what feels like the truth to me, but it’s not always completely formed or not clear enough for me to see it or speak it.

Courage is yet another challenge in speaking my truth. I suspect I am not the only one who fears not being accepted by others, even while knowing I’ll probably never have enough insight to truly know what they think or feel.

Beyond that, speaking my truth is ultimately not about being accepted by others, having them agree with my views or supporting me in any tangible ways.

Speaking my truth (or you speaking yours) is about exploring and discovering what lies inside you, in your heart and in your spirit. And once revealed, allowing it to grow and flourish, so that it can be shared with the world.

And believe me, it’s there for that very purpose.

I feel strongly that each of us has within us parts of the whole. We share a connection to the one, the divine, where everything is known. Speaking our truth out loud encourages those around us to do the same. We all learn from each other. We all can invite each other into our inner worlds and thrive together.

At one point in my life, a few years ago, I made a conscious decision to speak my truth, both inside and outside of me.

Inside of me, I chose to spend solitary time talking with (god), as I’ve mentioned several times in these posts and to journal and meditate and walk, contemplating what I believe or know to be true for me.

Springing from this deep source, I’ve come to the conclusion that what is important to me to be shared is what I feel the truth is about life. To speak out loud so that others may hear my words, not to convince or sway, but to invite them to consider if there is any value for them in what I choose to say.

Speaking my truth then becomes a witness of what I perceive about the nature of things, in an effort to share my depth with other’s depth, and in that sharing we all become a part of the one.

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The High Road

You may be unfamiliar with the whole concept of ‘the high road’, so I’d like to share my definition with you.

Contrary to the Oxford Dictionary which lists the definition as, “a morally superior approach toward something”, my version is “simply speaking your truth in a way that supports and encourages you and others”.

My concept begs that a question be answered first.

What does ‘speaking your truth’ mean? And perhaps before you are able to answer this, there is a prior question that is necessary, ‘what is true for you’?

Do you feel forced to respond to questions from others or situations you face in a certain manner? Do you feel compelled to stay within the expectations of those you’re talking to or interacting with?

These are very big questions, so it might take you a few minutes to answer.

For me, the temptation is to respond in a way I believe others will find favorable. It’s part of my people-pleasing personality. This of course does not serve me well and I’ve spent quite a bit of time shifting away from it, to approaches that do serve me. But every so often, I observe myself either responding this way or being tempted to.

It takes a lot to resist this immediate impulse and I am still lured into it, though much more aware than I used to be. I’m happy each time I catch myself because this means I’m growing.

Often it takes my full awareness to wait before I let my voice come to the surface and speak what feels like the truth, especially when I know it’s not what someone else wants or expects to hear.

For me, this is part of taking ‘the high road’.

I constantly coach myself to be sensitive to other versions of the truth, to acknowledge the potential value they may offer me, but not be overwhelmed by their expectations or speak half-truths in response.

It’s hard for me to confess/admit but I am not here to please others, although when I come from a place of love, this is often what happens.

Walking ‘the high road’ means several practical things to me.

It means searching for multiple answers instead of choosing the easiest one.

It means before acting, that I consider my choices and which one(s) represent who I am and who I want to be in this world.

It also means that, because so many others are important to me, that I take the time I need to feel comfortable with my decisions, realizing I want them to support me first and then others to the extent I am able.

And it means spending time looking inside myself and sensing where the path of love is guiding me.

I am aware enough now to recognize I can’t do all of this by myself.

I need help.

I believe we all need help.

Sometimes help comes from friends, or family or a wonderful counselor. Sometimes it comes from someone who challenges us or annoys us or threatens us. Despite how hard it is to recognize this; it is often still the truth.

And there is another source of aid. It’s one I speak of often, so you probably already know. It is the divine, by whatever name you use. For me, the presence of the divine is not theoretical. It’s personal and tangible and magnificent and only one request away. For me and I believe, for you, the presence of the divine is always waiting patiently, ready to support you, encourage you and love you.

So, a final part of the process of taking ‘the high road’ is talking with the divine and coming to know within myself what is the truth for me. It’s also what you can do if it feels right to you.