Silence

When was the last time you found silence?

After a few minutes thought, I couldn’t remember my last time. You see, I believe silence is far more than the absence of noise. It is deeper and more profound. It is a gift beyond measure.

I can only hear silence if I give myself a chance to listen, to pause for my heart and my ears to be still. I need a space inside me to open for quiet, and for where everything seems to be at peace.

I wonder sometimes, do I understand silence?

Our world is so noisy with an incredible array of sources; cars, trucks, buses, planes, people talking, shouting, singing, birds, insects, wind and water, lawn mowers, clocks, chimes…the list is so long. And even if these all fall away, there is the sound of my own heart beating.

Inside me, I feel a strong need for silence. There is an indescribable value in it, beyond what I can explain with words. Perhaps you sense this too.

I wonder, how long could I sit and appreciate silence before it might become too much for me? I ask myself, what does ‘too much’ even mean? Do I need some form of noise in my life at all times?

When our children were young, they could watch TV, do their homework, and carry on a conversation, all at the same time. It seemed natural for them. Easy. I realized quickly I could never do that. It’s too much noise for me. I need breaks between periods of noise. I need a place to get away.

I wonder about this, and something comes to me.

It’s hard to explain, but I want the silence of ‘home’, which is the sound of heaven.

Silence, but not silent.

You may be asking, what does that mean, thinking that it makes no sense.

For me, it does.

Silent is the act of not speaking, while silence is a state of being, a place of peace, the essence of bliss, and yes, the sound of home, heaven.

There is movement, energy and love radiating in the silence.

This may sound appealing to you, and you may want to know how this kind of silence can be found.

The simplest answer I know is, it’s found inside of you.

My last post was about feeling loved. In it I shared that I have an intimate relationship with aspects of (god). That I invite (god) in and I ask (god) to be present and so (god) comes and sits with me, keeping me company, listening deeply to me, hearing me in a way unlike any other relationship.

It is here I find silence, in between our thoughts. It is here that bliss baths me.

It is here for all who choose it, no matter what name you choose to use for (god).

I’m reminded of the saying, ‘silence is golden’. It’s meaning for me does not come from the absence of noise in our busy world, but rather from the bliss of heaven, the magnificent place of peace that rests within each of us.

If you are searching for silence, consider going inside and asking for (god’s) presence to lead the way back to heaven.

Memories of Heaven

Do you believe in the afterlife? The idea that there is a place where you go once this earth life is over. A life beyond death.

Have you ever wondered about the beforelife? About where you came from, before you arrived here on earth. A life before life.

I have.

In fact, I have distinct memories of heaven. A place of sheer bliss. I’ve never heard of or spoken to anyone else who has these memories. It’s almost impossible to share what it’s like because there are no words to describe it. Words fail because it is a feeling.

Only one tangible memory has stayed with me.

It is the ceremony that took place before I came to this earth world. I was surrounded by my closest ‘kin’. That’s a very important word to me.

To understand ‘kin’, imagine looking out at the ocean. Water everywhere your eye can see. Seamless. Completely one. Then imagine being able to use a fine eyedropper. You slide it into the water, squeeze the bulb and pull out one single drop.

This is you. This is your essence, taken from the vast ocean of bliss. Imagine holding the eyedropper and squeezing the bulb and watching that one single drop fall back into the ocean, again, one with bliss.

The place where that drop was taken and the place where it falls back in are surrounded by other essences. These are your ‘kin’. Your bliss-playmates, those who will connect with you in all of your lifetimes. You have made divine promises to each other. You have such love that you will play any part chosen, despite how it will look from an earth perspective.

Our earth framework makes it impossible to understand this because we need rationality. We expect everything to make ‘sense’ to us. We find it very challenging to accept that some of our most profound teachers appear as enemies. If we could shift and see clearly, we might recognize them as our closest kin, here to serve our lives.

It is these kin who surrounded me in heaven. They aided me in the creation of my spiritual blueprint. A blueprint my physical, emotional, intellectual and ego selves would not remember. Only my spiritual essence would retain this wondrous awareness.

At the end of the ceremony, I accepted what I call, ‘the great forgetting’, because carrying the awareness of heaven with me into the earth world would not allow me to fully experience the duality that exists here. I would know the truth and could not ‘experience’ the world.

I came essentially as a blank slate, ready to receive the world. I came as we all do, as a baby. If you have ever held a baby in your arms and starred deeply into their eyes, you’ll know they still remember the essence of heaven. There is something special about their gaze. A reminder of what lies beyond the veil that separates heaven and earth.

One discovery I have made while here on earth is that revelations are possible. Revelations of the truth. Of things I chose to forget, but now remember. A form of enlightenment, of shining light into the darkness. Of opening to my spiritual blueprint.

I believe that each of us has this same capacity.

I believe that our hearts are the pathway, and that love is our guide.

I realize this is a most unusual post, but it felt completely right for it to be shared now. I don’t know exactly why it chose now to appear, but I trust it and hope my kin will see it.

More Heaven

Imagine that you are a being of light. You have form, but no tangible substance. And as light, you flow.

Imagine that you know everything there is to be known. For you, there are no unanswerable questions. You are pure awareness, pure consciousness.

You are part of the ocean of bliss. It is your home and you call it, heaven.

I was a part of this bliss. I am still a part of this.

This matters to me because the awareness of this represents an unbreakable promise, that I will return home, after my earth life is complete. There is immense freedom in this assurance.

There was a moment in time where I chose to shift my awareness and decided to live a life of a spiritual being, as a human being.

There was a ceremony for me in heaven. A passage. A losing and a gaining.

I chose to experience the ‘great forgetting’, where I released my awareness of all things, so that I could live without knowing the answers to all of my questions. I chose to shift my perspective so that I could create and experience every part of my human life with newness. And I accepted the gift of free will, the most precious of all gifts.

With free will, there are no requirements or obligations upon me. This is an incredibly beautiful thing, when I wholly accept and embrace it.

This matters to me because I am able to choose my own direction without restrictions, regardless of what my culture teaches. I can consciously choose to correct whatever I see or feel are my mistakes, not because I have to, but because I want to. Everything is open to me.

With the gaining, there was also a giving, because in this transition I chose to believe in separation. I chose to leave behind the truth, that I am part of the one, the whole, the holy.

I chose to accept what my culture taught me, that I have missing pieces and that I should live my life searching for them.

I accepted that (god) was not personally knowable or touchable and that my only way to the truth was through someone else’s voice.

And I did not see that fear was my beautiful messenger.

I did not realize that all of what happened to me was a part of my plan, so that I could create and experience anything I desired.

Understanding this, matters to me because I can wake up and abandon this illusion if I choose. I can give up my search for any missing pieces, in favor of accepting the truth. The truth that I am already whole. And I can live this human life, knowing that (god) lives within me, in each and every moment, and that when my human life is complete, I will be reunited with bliss and admitted to heaven.

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