Tag: opportunity

Posted on

What Other People See

Do you ever wonder what the view is like through someone else’s eyes? It’s likely to be very different, but in what ways? What might we learn about them if we asked, and for that matter, based on the questions we ask, what might we learn about ourselves?

When I was in Junior High School, I discovered that I couldn’t see the blackboard at the front of the room well enough to read it. Clearly this was a problem since the homework assignments for the next day were written there.

Perhaps I need to pause here for a moment. Yes, I am dating myself. Now of course, it’s called Middle School and probably all the assignments are on a Chromebook or other laptop. Although there are always changes, not being able to see well enough remains the same.

At first, I tried to sit closer, but that wasn’t good enough. Even squinting didn’t help. So, I broke down and told my parents and they took me to get my first pair of glasses. I hated wearing them. Still do actually. And yet I need them for seeing anything in the distance.

I am often asked why I don’t wear them all the time. And some folks in my life want to know how I manage to get along not being able to make things out.

I guess that over time I’ve learned ways to adjust. I can usually determine who is in the distance by their gait or mannerisms, but not always. Sometimes I am at a complete loss to identify something or someone.

When this happens, it occurs to me that perhaps everyone has their own version of this.

It seems to me that it’s pretty easy to take things for granted. We only see certain things and miss others. We have blind spots and could use more acute vision. Maybe it would be handy to have an optometrist for our life, who could help us see what others see.

If a friend stopped you the next time they saw you and asked what your life is like, would you be able to help them see it through your eyes? Could you explain why you feel the way you do?

If you asked them to tell you how they see you, what do you suppose they would share? Is it likely that it would match what you see yourself?

Earlier in my life I wrote out a list of adjectives and asked several of my friends to circle the ones they thoughts best described me. It was a bit of a risk because the list included some unfavorable adjectives, ones I hoped they didn’t choose. When I got the completed lists back, I eagerly poured over them. This was a chance to see through someone else’s eyes and to satisfy my own curiosity.

I was surprised by many of their choices. In some cases, it tipped me off balance. I had to stop and think about how I related to each person in order to make sense of their answers.

For me, it was a grand opportunity. I had a choice to make. I could discount their answers and go on thinking that I knew best, or I could yield and accept that their perspectives had merit. That they knew things and saw things about me that I didn’t. I could shift beliefs about myself. And I could change whatever didn’t fit with who I wanted to be in the world.

I think we all have this same chance, if we pay attention. If we listen with an open heart. If we acknowledge that we have vested interests in maintaining our personal story, and yet if we listen carefully when others speak, we might be able to grow wiser.

If we loosen our grip on the image we project into the world, we can evolve and expand. If our eyes are fully open, we can flourish and see with clear vision this beautiful world of ours.

Note: To make a comment, please click on the Post Name, then scroll to the bottom of the page, write your comment in the box and hit enter.

Posted on

Open Doors

Have you ever had a door closed in your face? Whether intentional or not, some emotional pain might be involved.

It might hurt.

Maybe the person didn’t mean to and maybe they did. Either way you have to decide what to do with it. Of course, you could immediately let it go. That would certainly be wise.

You could rationalize it, noting that the person was probably in a hurry at the time or didn’t see you approaching the door. You could give them a pass.

You could tell yourself that it was just a mistake on their part, and everyone makes mistakes, realizing this includes you.

There are other options.

You could get angry and think the person was thoughtless or mean. That they did it on purpose, intending to hurt or annoy you. I’m not sure where the profit in this is though, especially if you carry it with you throughout the rest of your day.

You could use it as an opportunity to exercise patience, compassion, and love. Not only for the person who didn’t hold the door open for you but for yourself. If the door closing sparked an emotional reaction in you, you can choose to immediately forgive the person. And the forgiveness you extend can be all inclusive, so their reason doesn’t matter, whether it was intentional or not.

The beauty of this kind of forgiveness is that it includes YOU. There is no requirement to hold on to any anger or slight you may feel. You simply open your heart and release, moving on with the rest of your day.

Perhaps you’re wondering why the title of this post is, Open Doors, when all I’ve talked about is a Closed Door.

Well, instead of having a door closed on you, have you had doors opened for you? Often kind-hearted people hold a door open for me and I return the gesture. It was part of my cultural training. It was considered a nice thing to do.

In the early part of my life, when I opened a door for someone, I had an expectation that they would say, thank you. That probably only happened about half of the time. I wondered, was this civility not a part of others training?

I had several decisions to make.

The first was whether I would allow the response to dictate my future actions. Would I stop opening doors because I didn’t receive a thank you? The second was a question I had to ask myself. Why was I opening the door for someone?

It seems like such a simple thing. Why should this create a thought-provoking question for me?

Over the course of time, I came to a conclusion. I open the door because I want to, not because I was told it was the right thing to do or so that I will be thanked. I do it because to me it feels like a nice thing to do. Period.

Removing the emotional baggage and releasing the conventional expectations I’d been taught, freed me. In the freedom, I am able to decide what I want. That’s an important place to spend some time.

Here’s another question. When a door opens in your life, let’s call it an opportunity, do you back away, afraid of what might happen?

Or do you take a tentative step forward, hesitant, but curious?

Or maybe you take several bold steps forward, excited by a new prospect.

Open doors are wonderful things. They invite us to take chances and explore. They offer us excitement and challenges. They create pathways for new adventures.

I’m trying to pass by all the closed doors now and walk through all the open doors, knowing they are the way forward. I hope you’ll join me in walking through yours.

Note: To make a comment, please click on the Post Name, then scroll to the bottom of the page, write your comment in the box and hit enter.

Posted on

Intuitive Nudges

When you don’t know the right direction in life to take, what do you do? Do you seek someone else’s advice or try to brainstorm all the ideas you can think of and then choose what you believe is the best answer? Or because of some uncertainty, do you just choose whatever comes to your mind first and hope things turn out okay?

It can often feel challenging and somewhat overwhelming, especially if you haven’t resolved the first question or situation before the next one pops up.

Wouldn’t it be helpful if we’d come here with our very own owner’s manual? A guidebook that laid out the best answers to all our questions or some neat flow chart we could follow to get where we want to go.

Here’s an idea to consider.

I believe we do have something we can always rely on to provide direction and insight. You may have already guessed it. It’s our intuition.

One of the difficult things about the intuitive process is our general lack of awareness about its existence and how to use it. Of course, there are numerous references to it culturally. One of these is ESP, or Extra Sensory Perception, which is our ability to know things without having any idea how or why we know them.

This disconnection creates a sense of disbelief. We don’t recognize the thread; therefore, we tend to downplay or ignore its importance. And, without a direct relevant connection, we are unlikely to trust our intuition, especially if the situation we’re faced with is very important to us.

I wonder, would it be possible for us to stop and take a closer look? What would happen if we paid very close attention to all the inner messages we receive? What might change in our lives?

I’d like to suggest an opportunity.

How about the next time you don’t have an immediate, well thought out answer for something that comes up in your life, you pause and sit back for a minute. You close your eyes and slow your breathing and allow your mind to calm down. And you ask for an answer to form in your mind. You allow yourself to be nudged into seeing and feeling what your inner guidance has to say.

There is enormous wisdom inside of you just waiting to come to the surface. It has always been present and will always be available to you.

One of the prerequisites though, is a level of trust. Will that be possible for you?

You might be asking, trust in who, or trust in what?

My answer, after many years of making my way through this amazing process is, trust in YOU. Some folks decide to place their trust in the universe or the divine or substitute other names. In essence, I believe it’s all the same, because you are part of the universe and part of the divine.

So, let’s say you are willing to give this a chance and have allowed yourself to be in a quiet space and opened yourself up to listen carefully to whatever comes your way in the silence. For this one time at least, say to yourself that you are going to trust what comes to you and take action according to what you hear and feel. Give in and accept it as your inner wisdom passing along a divine message to you.

You may want to write some of this down and note what happens, to give yourself some convincing evidence, so that next time it’s easier. Or you may just want to go with the flow and let things unfold whatever direction they do.

Either way, I hope that you begin to see that you are a deep well of knowing and that your inner wisdom is always present in your life.

Note: To make a comment, please click on the Post Name, then scroll to the bottom of the page, write your comment in the box and hit enter.

Posted on

Mistakes

This is actually not a story about gardening, but it may seem like it at first.

Imagine that you have a large piece of property and want to create a garden and fill it with all sorts of wonderful vegetables. You think to yourself, what steps do I need to take to make this happen?

Knowing what you want to plant and when it would be the best time to get started would be helpful. So too would knowing how to prepare and fertilize the soil and fence it in properly so all of the animals in the area don’t eat your crop before you do.

But, I believe one of the very first steps would be to consider how big you want your garden to be. Once you’ve decided, you could measure the plot outline and place stakes at each one of the corners. And, maybe you’d want to string a line between the stakes so that you can get a better idea of the scope of your garden.

Cultivating the soil and planting your seeds might come next, however, I suggest you consult a real gardener or farmer for the best methods.

For my purposes, I’d like you to imagine that you’ve done all of the prep work and have begun planting your seeds and suddenly realize, that despite your best efforts, you don’t have enough space for everything.

Imagine what your reaction is to this situation.

Are you angry with yourself? Do you berate your lack of forethought? Do you feel like giving up?

Or, do you shift and focus on solutions? Do you think to yourself, all I have to do is move two of the stakes, so I can fit everything in? I’ve just made a simple ‘miss-stake’.

That’s all it really is…you’ve placed the stakes in spots that don’t work for you, so you pull two up and relocate them and then everything is okay again. Simple.

I really love the idea of…simple.

Imagine now that we’re talking about life and not a garden.

You want to experience or create something in your life, so you go about doing the things you believe will make it real for you. But, you know that there are things you don’t understand and that there will be challenges you’ll need to overcome.

You are human and part of that is making mistakes.

No matter how controlled, no matter how intelligent or careful or thoughtful you are, you will make mistakes. You’ll set something up, put something into motion, relate to another person, organize, plan and yet, you’ll make mistakes.

The good and wonderful news is…that’s okay and is to be expected. In fact, I believe, all mistakes lead us in the direction we truly wish to go. That is, unless we allow them to define us and our actions, so that we lose faith in ourselves. Rather than seeing our mistakes as taking away from us, we have the choice to shift our perspective and open to seeing mistakes as redirecting our path toward our best self.

When we shift our focus, we change the course of our lives. There is no more failure or need for negative thoughts about our self. We can see that each mistake offers us an opportunity to find a new and better path. We can be grateful for the insight brought into view and simply change the location of the stakes in our lives.

Note: To make a comment, please click on the Post Name, then scroll to the bottom of the page, write your comment in the box and hit enter.

Posted on

Asking

One of the most consistent things I’ve heard about me in my life is that I ask good questions. It is a skill I spent a lot of time developing and has almost always proven to be beneficial, mostly for others, but also for myself.

It is a curious thing, this idea of asking. It is both encouraged and discouraged, depending on the circumstances. Parents often invite children to try new things and ask questions while they are learning. This is also true in school, but mostly applies to learning facts not questioning the teacher or the school’s policies.

Asking questions may also result in a lot of frowning when the subject of the asking broaches taboo topics, like politics, religion, a person’s weight or orientation. Actually, the list can be rather long.

Recently, I was thinking about the value of asking, mostly because I often refrain from asking for things for myself. I wonder why I do that? Perhaps I’m not alone. Maybe you do it too.

So, I spent some time and came up with several reasons why asking is such a good idea and why it is important for me to shift my perspective and find the value in asking.

Here’s what I want to share with you.

Asking prompts action. To me, it is not a step by step process, but rather an opportunity to purposeful choose the experience one wishes to claim as their own. Each question aids in exploring options and taking action.

Asking also creates an opening. It has the power to dislodge ‘stuck stuff’ and open some space so that one can choose whatever option seems wisest to them.

Asking generates excitement. It ignites sparks and wonderful ideas can spring forth and catch fire.

Asking initiates dialogues and connects people. It brings folks closer and clears the way forward in relationships. I’ve seen it happen so often that folks have conversations to try to resolve issues and get just so far then stall, when asking one more question might open the right door for them.

Asking sharpens our focus and provides opportunities to deepen thinking and create clarity. It forces folks to define situations, encouraging both analysis and insight, so that the direction forward is easier.

Asking can help us to let go of whatever we are asking was about. What I mean is, there is power behind every question in our lives and sometimes the power overwhelms us. By asking questions, we can unlock some of the power, releasing us and giving us some distance and peace.

Asking provides clarity, perhaps not immediately, but as a result of thinking about the issues and giving ourselves time to gain insights.

And, asking helps us to put out into the world what we hope to experience. Defining our questions shapes our view of the world. And once the questions exist and are real, we have the opportunity to form answers and create what we desire.

I find that it is always helpful for me to know what I am asking for and to have a sense of the actions I need to consider or perform in order to arrive where I want to be in my life.

I find it valuable and necessary to give myself permission to ask for what my heart desires. I haven’t been very good at this, but I’m interested in changing.

So, I’d like to ask you for something. If you find some merit in these posts, would you please tell a friend and invite them to join us here at my website: https://messagesforinspiration.com/

Or, if you’re open to it, invite more than one friend, because I would love to connect with as many people as I can. Thank you.

Note: To make a comment, please click on the Post Name, then scroll to the bottom of the page, write your comment in the box and hit enter.

Posted on

Take A Chance

How does inspiration actually work? I think it’s a good question.

When you name a website ‘messagesforinspiration’ like I did, you really probably ought to know. When it comes down to it, everyone has to decide for themselves, but I thought I’d give you my answer.

I believe that all inspirations start with an idea. It can be any idea, but the ones I favor are meant to open a door or a window for you. Maybe it opens only a crack, but still it represents something new or perhaps something that you haven’t tried in a while.

I think that the ideas can come from anywhere. They can be very simple or seemingly complex, but they have to capture some part of your imagination and offer some hope for a positive change in your life.

My aim is to provide thoughts and ideas which may intrigue you or prompt you to accept a challenge or embrace an opportunity.

So, for today, here’s one for you.

Take a chance.

I don’t mean being cavalier about your choices in life or doing anything dangerous. But, I do believe that we can become so set in our routines that we rarely look outside the box. And, there is a lot outside the box!

I’m suggesting that you take a chance about one thing and see what happens.

What fascinates me most when I take a chance, is the revelation of how everything is connected. On the face of it, things seem separate, but if I look carefully, I realize they link together. And, if I really, really look carefully, they link both forward and backward.

It’s always helped me to have examples, so I’d like to share one with you from my life to illustrate what I’m saying.

Many years ago, Maureen and I were visiting Asheville, North Carolina and were shopping in its quaint downtown area. We ended up in a local bookstore and I was attracted to the display of local writers. One of the books had a beautifully hand drawn picture on the cover. I picked it up and began reading. As I turned the pages, the author (and illustrator) recounted the first leg of his journey on the Appalachian Trail. I fell in love with the idea of vicariously walking the trail with him, especially since the idea had always appealed to me. I bought the book and told myself to read the daily entries and not rush ahead. It was a fabulous experience.

I wanted to let the author know how much his book meant to me, so I researched him and found his home address in Asheville and decided to ‘take a chance’ and write to him to express my appreciation. Along with my note I decided to offer him a gift copy of my first Little Buddha book, as an additional thank you. I mentioned to him that I didn’t expect any reply, but would certainly be happy to receive one.

Several weeks later his reply arrived. He was thrilled that I’d bought and read his book, honored that I would share mine with him and wanted to stay in touch, which we did.

A few years later, he began his fourth and final section of the trail which put him within 50 miles of my home. He called and relayed that he’d miscalculated his food supplies and wondered if I’d be able to help him out. I met him just off the trail where it crossed Route 20 in Massachusetts. I bought him a hot breakfast from McDonalds plus gave him a lunch and dinner I’d made, so he could make it to his next food restocking location.

Fast forward a few more years.

If you’ve checked out the BOOKS page on this website you’ll notice the first book mentioned. It’s titled, talking with (god). I encourage you to look carefully at the cover. It’s magnificent  and so beautifully draw. Guess who drew it, as well as the rest of the incredible illustrations inside? You got it, my friend, the Appalachian Trail hiker, Mike ‘Sketch’ Wurman.

I am so profoundly glad that I took a chance and wrote to him. Thank you, my friend for being in my life.

Note: To make a comment, please click on the Post Name, then scroll to the bottom of the page, write your comment in the box and hit enter.

Posted on

Habits

Every day we experience opportunities for growth in our lives. Some of the opportunities we may long for, while others we’d just as soon not encounter.

When we’re provided these choices, we have to decide whether to resist or accept them. A great deal of our harmony and peace of mind depends on which choice we make.

The more I think about this, the more obvious it becomes that every single thing that happens to me offers me something of value. At first, the item or event may not appear to be important. But, if I open and allow myself a moment of consideration, often rewarding things happen.

Here’s one seemingly insignificant example.

I brush my teeth twice a day. Once in the morning and once before I go to bed at night. You may do the same thing.

So, there I am in front of the medicine cabinet. I open it and reach for my toothbrush and tube of toothpaste, which has a flip top. Being a creature of habit, I hold the tube with the label facing me, then find I can’t flip the top open.

This bugs me. I don’t know why, it just does.

So, at least twice a day there is something in my life that is guaranteed to irritate and annoy me.

I’m pretty sure I know what you’re thinking.

When I was a kid, I’d say, “Duh” and follow that with something obvious like, “so reach for the toothpaste and hold it with the label facing away from you (numbskull).”

Problem solved, right?

I have to wonder, what prevents me from executing this very simple solution? I’m pretty sure I know.

Habit.

Reinforcement of the same thing, day after day, until what I choose, becomes second nature to me.

But, is this helpful? Certainly, for me, not always.

My next question is, how many other things in my life are on this kind of auto-pilot?

My answer would have to be, a lot.

It’s fascinating to me that habits hide our power and become a substitute for conscious thought and decision making. Is the world too complicated for us to navigate, so we allow habits to take care of many things for us?

It makes me wonder.

Here’s another example.

Do I really listen to someone’s answer when I ask them, “How are you today” or is this just a habit? Not surprisingly, the answers we’re inclined to give to this question are often as habitual as the question itself.

What if I gave myself a chance to be present when they spoke? What sort of difference would that make in my world…and theirs?

I tested this out recently and discovered it makes a great deal of difference.

When I asked someone how they were, I looked directly at the person and stood still and waited for their answer. Most of the time, it took a minute for the person to realize I was actually waiting for them to respond. Often, they stopped, returned my gaze and appeared to consider their answer for a moment. When they got over their shock, they relaxed and said something about the way they felt, then stopped speaking and looked expectantly in my direction. I took in what they’d said and responded, saying something that I hoped made it obvious I’d heard them and that what they said mattered to me.

Amazingly, when I remembered to do this, I found we formed a real connection. I felt a spark and that felt good to me. And, it made me want to continue exploring other habits of mine and seeing what benefits I might be able to find.

If you do some exploring of your own, please let me know what you discover.

Note: To make a comment, please click on the Post Name, then scroll to the bottom of the page, write your comment in the box and hit enter.

Posted on

Kindness

Here’s an opportunity to try something new. To open a door in your world and see where it leads. What beautiful shift might occur in your outlook if you allowed yourself some freedom. Freedom to explore some new spiritual practices. Ones that appeal to you and offer hope and excitement and a sense of connection, perhaps to an inner part of you or perhaps to what you think of when you hear the word, ‘divine’.

Ready? I’m going to assume that you said ‘yes’, and I’ll keep going.

Although there are literally hundreds of directions we could go, let’s take just one step and see what happens.

Spiritual practices offer us every possible direction, so we can go inside or stay outside. For this exercise, let’s do both at the same time.

It will be fun. I promise.

So here it is…spend a little time and create an “intentional act of kindness plan” for the next seven days. I say, “intentional”, rather than the more common term of “random”, because I believe the creation of a plan IS “intentional”. You’re doing it “on purpose”, not with a specific idea of how it will turn out, but because you want to be present and somewhat purposeful.

I’m going to suggest that you start out with creating ideas. What acts of kindness come to your mind. Just let them pop into your head and write down a bunch of ideas that appeal to you. Once you have them captured, say each one out loud and see which ones your heart is drawn to.  Make a list of 3-5 ideas (or more) that you want to put into practice during this week.

Once you have your list, imagine what you need in order to perform these acts of “intentional kindness”. Remember that they can cost you nothing or something. That part is entirely up to you.

How are you going to create some magic for someone else? Who will it be? When will you do these things? Plan it out a bit, but not too much. This isn’t intended to be a chore for you. It’s not another “to do” item, but rather an overflowing from the joy that lives inside of you, now and what is to come.

Okay, so now you have your plan.

One more thing. I’m going to suggest that you perform some acts of kindness anonymously and some where the person you’re doing this for knows that it is you. I’m very curious to know if that changes anything about the experience for you, so I’m going to ask you, if you are willing, to record your feelings about each one of the “intentional acts” you perform. That’s really a big part of this exercise.

That ought to be enough to get you started.

I would like to share with you that for my sixty-third birthday I performed 63 intentional acts of kindness. It was an amazing adventure. I learned so much about myself throughout the process, which actually took me all month to complete.

I was constantly surprised, amused and overjoyed by my experience. I found deep connections are always within reach, as long as I was willing to take one simple step.

I wish you well on this journey and would love to hear whatever you care to share.

Note: To make a comment, please click on the Post Name, then scroll to the bottom of the page, write your comment in the box and hit enter.

Posted on

Worthiness

Do you seem to have an endless list of things to do and not enough time to do them? Even the most important ones?

There’s probably some club you could join where everyone feels this way. Of course, it’s likely you wouldn’t have time to go to any of the meetings.

I could be in this club.

I have a TO DO list almost a mile long and as soon as I start to feel I’m getting ahead, I add new things to it. Most of the time I add more than I complete.

I asked myself recently how I felt about this. The answer was, burdened.

My thinking mind said, ‘but there’s so much to do and we need to get it done. We have to organize and prioritize. We can do this, we just need to make some adjustments. Let’s identify ways to handle this.’

My thinking mind set about brainstorming ideas; I could get up earlier, avoid distractions and break up my TO DO list into smaller more manageable pieces.

Perhaps these were reasonable fixes, but the feeling part of me knew each of these ideas would only add more items to my already bulging list.

An idea dawned on me.

Maybe the answer wasn’t to identify and fix the reasons why I couldn’t get everything done.

Maybe the answer or answers would appear if I explored the belief(s) that drove my need to check off all of the items.

This felt promising.

I began to wonder what would happen if I didn’t complete each of my self-assigned tasks. As I looked at each item, I discovered a common theme. I would not feel good about myself.

But why?

That now seemed like the critical question to ask. What did completing items from my list really do for me? Well, it gave me a sense of accomplishment. Beneath this, where my beliefs live, I realized there was more. It also gave me a sense of worthiness, which came through the praise of others and my own self-congratulations.

So, why is this necessary?

That answer eluded me at first, until I went inside and looked into my heart and spirit, and then I knew. I saw clearly how my ego was driven by fear and how it believed this fear was necessary in order to protect the self-image it had created. An image that firmly rested on praise from the outside and the inside. My ego believed it was vital to create opportunities (like the TO DO list) that would serve as nourishment to keep me healthy.

In the past I would have begun an internal argument with my ego. I would have attempted to convince my ego that it was wrong and that this approach would always lead to unhappiness.

But, I’ve learned that my ego plays a necessary part in my life and I no longer argue with it. Instead, I offer it love, which is the only thing that allows it to relax and calm down. I thank it for doing its job and keeping me safe. I offer it my gratitude and then share from my heart and spirit a more powerful truth. That I am inherently worthy and valuable. That I am radiant and beautiful and beloved. That I am a child of god and never need to prove myself, to be found worthy.

Looking beneath the surface, beyond my worldly concerns and thinking mind, I find a place of love. My true home.

In this light, I can let go of the significance of all of my TO DO items and they can each patiently wait their turn now.

To make a comment, please click on the Post Name, then scroll to the bottom of the page.