Tag: wholeness

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Whole Rather Than Perfect

I’ve thought a lot about the idea of perfection over the course of my life. I wonder if you have too. There is certainly a great deal of emphasis placed on it. Our cultural training seems to glorify perfection and encourages us to achieve it.

One of the main problems in my opinion is the state of perfection does not exist as a reality. It’s only an ideal. According to one internet source the definition of perfection is the condition, state, or quality of being free or as free as possible from all flaws or defects.

Consider that for a moment. Free of ALL flaws or defects. Not just some. Not almost all. Free from ALL.

Why would anyone be tempted to be perfect?

I know that for me, it never worked and that’s not for a lack of trying. There was always some aspect I could not accomplish, no matter how hard I tried. And I’ve seen so many others pursue their goals with the idea in mind that they could do it perfectly. They didn’t. They couldn’t.

At some point part of the mystery of perfection revealed itself to me. It may only be my personal revelation, but it might be something you would agree with.

Perfection is the ultimate challenge and cannot be achieved, or at least it cannot be sustained. Underneath the concept of perfection is a host of other demons. The feelings of unworthiness, and the overall sense of not being enough or of value. These all seem to me to go together, like a bunch of bullies that taunt you and try to put you down.

I believe that perfection is an earth word. Something dreamed up to separate us and create unhappiness. It invites us into a conditional world, where no one stands at the top, but folks can take satisfaction from being better than those below them.

I’m through with the word. I am releasing it from my vocabulary, along with the word, ‘should’. They are banned words now to me.

Part of me asked the question…is there an actual word that can replace perfection, something I can acknowledge and appreciate?

For me, one word stepped forward to fill the empty space…’wholeness’.

I need to explain my definition so you can see whether it fills in your empty space too.

Wholeness, for me, is a process, not an end result. I believe we all came to earth ‘whole’ and complete, inherently valuable, worthwhile, rare, and gifted, beautiful and loved. True, we’ve all fallen off the straight line of tracks, but it’s of no real consequence since we are still in the process.

There is no need for any comparison, feelings of lack, judgement, or criticism. Those all belong to perfection, so we can leave them by the side of the road.

Wholeness invites us forward, encouraging our dreams and opening our hearts. There is an unconditional love, peace and sense of joy attached.

Perfection yields sorrow, while wholeness creates soaring, drawing us upward into freedom.

Wholeness is a Heaven word. Wholeness is something we came here with and if we choose it consciously, consistently, open heartedly, it gets bigger. And the bigger it becomes the more joy there is, for us and all those around us.

I love the word, wholeness, and I am giving it a special place inside me to grow.

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No Missing Pieces

Do you feel as though you are missing something in your life, that there are pieces of you that you need in order to make your life work?

And perhaps you are wondering how you are ever going to be at peace within yourself?

There are periods in my life where these questions have confused me and circled me and found a home inside of me.

One of these periods happened this morning. But unlike my past, I did something rare and incredibly worthwhile.

I asked for help.

I asked my divine guide, Lia (which stands for Love In Action), a part of god who speaks to me in an ethereal feminine voice.

She told me I was trying too hard, which was no doubt true. It’s what I usually do, especially when I can’t seem to find an answer that fits.

Lia said to me, “A shift that would help you is to think of yourself as ALREADY WHOLE and that nothing you can ever do will make you MORE whole.”

What a stunning statement, if I could find a way to believe it. I imagined the amazing changes that could make in my life.

Already whole. Wow, does that take the pressure off!

I told her that sounded wonderful, but from my current mindset, I asked how could I come to believe it and accept it as my truth?

There was a moment of silence. I knew what this meant. It was time to clear my mind of distractions. I don’t know about you, but I cannot hear anything from the outside, if my inner dialogue is too loud. So, I paused and waited.

Lia felt me slow into stillness and spoke again, “As always, you CHOOSE it as your reality and once chosen, you repeat this (thought/feeling) as your reality. You do this over and over again.”

She waited a moment, then continued, “I know you tend to think there has to be some bigger, more extravagant concept or practice, but there isn’t. It is this simple. Try to remember, the best things in life are all simple.”

Being a slow learner sometimes I wanted to paraphrase what she’d said to me, to ensure I really understood. “So, I CHOOSE to tell myself I am WHOLE already and once I accept this and live this truth, I feel whole, and this changes me?”

A simple one word reply, “Yes.”

“But” I said, “I find this choice difficult to make when I don’t believe it. How can I when there feels like there are missing pieces to me?”

Clearly, I needed reinforcement, which is what I received as Lia spoke again, “Missing pieces are figments, mental mirages, but not the truth. You are seeing/observing the ‘outer’ layer only. It is your ‘inner’ layer that is your truth and where you are whole.”

I questioned, “So, I have to look deeper inside?”

She told me, “Yes” and I asked another question, “But what about my outside?”

Lia allowed me to settle down, sensing my inability to fully grasp what she was saying to me.

“Your conscious choices define your experience of everything in this world, both inner and outer. Your inner world already knows this and has used this power to create your magnificent life. Your outer layer, that which sees, but fears the world, needs to know that there are no real missing pieces and that you are already truly and completely whole. This happens through your ‘choosing’ to see the truth. The proof you seek happens every time you make this choice and believe the results. It really is that simple.”

I sit back and try to absorb this message to me, and it becomes clear, I will only know the truth if I give myself to this simplicity.

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Chaos Transformed by Love

I look at the world today and see so much chaos. Fear seems to have taken deep root and manifested intense feelings that surface in disturbing ways. The air around us seems filled with worry, heart break and anger.

What can be done to help heal all of this?

For me, I realize I can not be at peace if I harbor animosity in my heart for another person. If I fail to see that we are one human family and that we are all made from the same love, then I am lost.

When I see the cruel and violent actions of others, I have to be able to distinguish between who they ‘appear’ to me to be and who they truly ‘are’. They are more than the show of their outward actions and beliefs.

Before I cast a stone in their direction, I have to force myself to realize they are no more who they ‘appear’ to be than I am. Beneath our surfaces, we are all a part of the one. All made from the same source of love.

What I am saying goes far beyond ‘acceptance’. If I am to help in the worlds healing in any way, I have to be able to live from a center of love. I have to embrace all of my own weaknesses and my wholeness.

None of this is about condoning the behaviors or beliefs of others that arose from their fear and hatred. Rather, it is looking beyond and seeing that all of their actions come from their separation from the truth. The truth of who they really are, beloved of (god).

If I want to experience more feelings of separation and dissonance in my life, the surest way is to believe myself separate from them or superior to them. I benefit from realizing that I have no idea what their lives have been like and what stories they’ve been told and come to believe about themselves and the world.

If I want to help heal the world, I know that I have to start with myself. And so, I ask for a shift in my focus and that I seek a sense of clarity. I ask to have my heart opened fully, so that I can understand the difficult paths others have chosen. I have to suspend my judgment and I have to listen carefully. And, as best as I can, I have to see the world through their eyes.

My task is to see and feel with a loving undivided heart, knowing I am part of the wholeness and the holiness, and see all others as the same. If I live with this kind of heart, I can be in the world, but not of the world.

For there to be any peace inside of me, the depth of my love has to be deeper than the depth of another’s fear. I need to see beyond their misperceptions and find something within them I can hold inside of me. I have to breathe into stillness, letting go of my fear, until I find my loving heart and some part of the truth that can serve as a guide toward understanding and peace.

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Forgiveness

I’ve spoken with a lot of people over my sixty-eight years. One of the most common themes I’ve heard is the sense folks have of being out of balance. Things are going along nicely and then, poof, something happens to change them.

Often, as the stories unfold, a disagreement has occurred. Sometimes it’s small or seemingly insignificant. But, at times, the issue creates a major flare up. And when a resolution to the issue doesn’t happen quickly, everything can unravel.

When each side feels that their opinion is worth more and that they should not have to give in, a distance occurs. Closing this gap and restoring harmony requires a degree of openness, a willingness to listen and a belief that common ground can be found.

Forgiveness can become the key, allowing each person to release the thought that there is only one right path. Hearts can be opened to see other directions so that new possibilities can become visible.

I want to offer two consecutive posts about forgiveness because I feel it is so important.

Many years ago, a friend of mine was having an extraordinarily difficult time forgiving an important person in their life. They asked me if I had any suggestions. My response to them came by way of a story. And, this story became the first chapter in my Little Buddha book series.

A man, Sam, asks Claire, a young six-year-old girl he’s met on the beach if she can help him understand how to forgive others. She’s shown her wisdom to him, enough so that he feels he can risk asking her this.

This is her response to him.

 “Imagine (pointing to the pail beside her) that my bucket is you. It’s everything you think and feel and experience during your life. Imagine that everything that is within you- YOU chose to put there. Nothing got in without your choosing. Nothing. Whether conscious or not, every thought, feeling, idea, reaction and prejudice. Every cruel word, every kind gesture, every act of faith, every indifference, everything. Imagine that each of these things takes up space, just like the grains of sand in my bucket. Once it’s full it’s very hard to find any space for anything, no matter how valuable or important. There are ways you can empty part of your bucket if you choose. One way is forgiveness. But first you have to imagine one more thing. Can you imagine that everyone else here is just like you? They’ve lived their lives filling their buckets and sometimes they don’t have any space left either. They’re doing the best they can with what weighs them down. In their hearts, they too wish to be free and to have open space to experience more of the beautiful things in life. But they too don’t know how. They probably sense it, dream about it and desperately want it just like you do. This is very important to know. To forgive anyone anything, requires YOU make a conscious choice. No one else can do it for you.” She eyed (Sam) carefully, “now bring to mind something which begs forgiveness. Feel the space it holds within you. The weight of it, the size, color and dimension. Imagine knowing it needn’t exist and that you can fill its space with something beautiful. Now, close your eyes. Welcome it in. Let it rest in front of you. Believe that it has served its full purpose for you, but does so no longer. Look inside your heart and allow love and compassion to open within. Breathe easily. Smile for a moment. Know that no matter what, this decision is up to you and no one else. Picture your love and compassion surrounding you and the focus of your forgiveness. Now, allow it to fade and fade and fade until it disappears. Breathe and feel the space inside you open. Feel the sunshine enter you and the air move around you. Listen for the sound of your own being. Sense the room created inside of you, now open for that which does serve you. For beauty. For wholeness.”

More to come.

Information about Little Buddha Book One, Two and Three is available by clicking on BOOKS and scrolling down.

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