Holding and Releasing

I’ve been thinking about what it means to hold onto things and the value there can be in releasing them.

Here’s a simple, quick test for you.

Stand up and pick up something in each hand, like a book or other small object, then raise both of your arms, stretching them away from your body at shoulder height. Okay, now hold this position for as long as you can. You can also modify this if you can’t stand up at the moment. Simply hold the objects as if you were standing.

It’s incredible to me how fatiguing this exercise can be, despite the limited amount of weight you’re holding. Of course, the fact is, you’re also holding up the weight of each of your arms. After a little research, I discovered a 190-pound persons arms weight about 10 pounds each, which adds to the difficulty of sustained holding.

Why does any of this matter unless you are a body builder and need to increase your strength? Well, for me, it’s because the physical challenge of this exercise has emotional, intellectual, and spiritual ramifications.

How, you ask?

Imagine that instead of physical weights, you substitute something else. Here’s a few examples I’d offer, but if something more personally relevant strikes you, please use it in place of what I’ve provided.

Imagine someone in your life just said something mean to you, or you remember a time a year ago, ten years ago or from your childhood where you felt ignored, abused, or devalued.

If it was easy to conjure up this image, it’s clearly something you’re still holding on to. Something that has weight and the longer you hold it, the heavier it gets. You may think you’ve let it go, but if you still remember it, you probably haven’t.

And what about a time when you couldn’t get something done because it was too hard. You didn’t understand it or didn’t have enough time or a good enough teacher to help you. And because of this, you failed. How heavy is the feeling of failure to you?

Can you visualize a time when your spirit suffered because you felt too weak or too small? Perhaps someone else convinced you that you were not spiritually worthy, not lovable, not valuable. I suspect the weight of this cannot be measured.

So, what is the antidote?

From the title of this post, you may realize that, in my view, it is the act of releasing, of letting go of the weight, setting it down or setting it aside, that is the antidote.

Easier said than done, you might be thinking. Or you may be entertaining the question, how is it possible to release what you are still holding?

As with all things, I believe it begins by making a conscious choice, recognizing that you have the power to choose the direction of your life. The decisions and actions of others are their ‘business’, not yours, and you needn’t have any investment in them.

Because you have ‘free will’, you are in charge of what to keep and what to release, no matter what others tell you. And you are the one to decide if you take anything personally that others say to you. You have the freedom to choose, and you can exercise this freedom in every moment of your life.

Some things that we have absorbed over the years have taken root in us, but we can make a practice of releasing them. Each and every time they surface, we can acknowledge them and the weight they place on us and bid them farewell, knowing they are no longer necessary in our lives. We’ve experienced them enough and can let them go.

This may only take one time, but it may also have to be repeated, before we are free from them.

I wish you well with your practice.