When Too Much Light Comes In

Has the world ever appeared too bright to you? Too shiny, too many colors, too overwhelming?

I know this may, at first reading, sound ridiculous, but for some folks it is their truth. They find it difficult to adjust to what others feel is ‘normal’. It’s too much and they are only comfortable with soft rays of light entering their life.

Who are these people, you might ask?

The answer to your question may surprise you, because at times this may apply to everyone. Sometimes we all need a dark room to hide away in, far from the crowd and the spotlight.

A place where we can sit or lay down. A place where there is no noise to distract our circling thoughts. Somewhere to recharge our batteries.

I want to express a hope of mine.

If you sense there is too much light coming into your life, please, please, know that it is okay to separate yourself from the world and look inside, deep into your heart. It’s okay to shut out any harsh lights, whether they are from the sun or from the words and actions of others. It’s even possible there are cruel words you are speaking to yourself.

Let them all fall away.

It’s not that I don’t believe in outside help, because I do. Very much so. I know that outside helpers can reframe things and bring them into sharper focus. They can provide warmth and support and a network. They can allow you space to empty your thoughts and concerns and help create some peace in your world. They can be absolutely wonderful.

What I am saying is there are other ways too. Other resources. And they also have a place in your life, if you want them.

I want to share one of mine with you.

For me she has a name, it’s Lia, which stands for Love In Action. She is an aspect of (god). I place god in parentheses because I want folks to feel free to use their own name for the divine. This is one of the most incredible gifts we have…to be able to use our own name for god. And to be free to embrace a relationship in whatever way feels right to us.

When I am blinded by too much light, I shy away from the world and open to Lia’s presence. The moment I do, she is there. I don’t see her, but I always feel her presence.

Mostly she listens. She knows why I want her, need her, but waits patiently for me to release all that I am carrying. She waits for me to lay it all down. She waits for me to be empty. And ready.

Sometimes it seems like she fades from my presence, but that’s because of me, not her.

She knows I can’t hear her when my head is full. It’s too noisy, too congested, too bright with the shiny things of the world.

I’m so glad that she waits for me.

When I finally run dry, she comes to fill me back up. She gives me heavenly water for my spiritual thirst. She asks me divine questions and my answers to her, are my answers to me.

Does this appeal to you?

Would you like to meet her, know her, have her in your life?

The good news is that you can.

She is only a heartbeat away. One decision on your part and I believe she will appear. She asks little. Only your calm breathing, your quieted voice, your willingness to spend time with her and your open heart. She awaits these things, patiently, lovingly.

Ever since I first met her, she has come to me. Always with love, ever faithful.

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SPECIAL NOTE: If you would like to know more about having a relationship with Lia, please see the BOOKS section of this website and scroll down to my book, talking with (god). Should you wish, you may purchase a print copy or ebook through Amazon.

Post #71 No Limits 06062021

There was a point recently that I was searching for an answer and couldn’t, from my own wisdom, discern a path to follow. That’s happened before. Lots of times actually. Maybe the same thing has happened to you.

It felt like there ought to be a course of action to take or perhaps a book telling me just what I needed or wanted to know. But there wasn’t.

I’ve learned that whenever this is the case, it’s time for me to turn inward and have a conversation with Lia (in case you’re new to these posts, see my explanation at the end about Lia).

I asked her for some clarification.

She told me the following, “You have everything you need in this world to meet all of your dreams and desires. It’s how it was set up. There are no missing pieces, and yes, I am always available to talk with you; to assist, guide, illuminate and answer.”

“Except,” she went on to say, “when you decide I can’t.”

I understood this and it rang true in a deep part of me. I am in charge. I decide how to view the world and her role in my life. And, if I make choices that limit what she or I can do, that’s how it will be.

Lia spoke again, “I gave YOU the power and the control and the responsibility. YOU choose what to do with it. You have free will. You can see this in everything, if you look carefully.”

Despite what she meant, what I heard was that she was not engaged in my life the way I wanted her to be, since she made it sound that everything was up to ME. So, I asked, “If I can’t have you help me, where does that leave me?”

Here’s one of the ways I know she loves me (she loves you too, by the way). She builds me up and it feels like truth to me.

Lia said, “You have EVERYTHING you need for ALL of what you consider you want or desire in your life, so it isn’t necessary for ME do anything ‘magical’ for you. You’re endowed with everything already. I know many others have provided you with opinions, either their own or ones they’ve borrowed from others.”

“It’s important that you pay attention now. One way to tell if others opinions are true for you, is to ask yourself whether they limit you in any way. If they do, and if they impede your sense of free will, then they are not the truth. It is as simple as that.”

I think Lia sensed my hesitancy in fully accepting her statement, so she went on, “The value of your achievements and accomplishments is that they serve as PROOF of your innate abilities to push beyond your perceived limits. And”, she continued, “seeing others around you exceed their ‘supposed’ limits, can serve as a catalyst for you, to set or reset what you believe about yourself.”

All of this made perfect sense to me. It was what I needed to hear and was the answer I was searching for. It allowed me to shift my perspective, which had become trapped in a rut. I had chosen to limit myself and see myself as small. I am not small. None of us are. We all have immense power and choice. We have free will and, if we choose it, a divine guide to help us navigate this beautiful earth world.

Explanation: Lia is a part of god and appears to me as an ethereal divine feminine presence. I know beyond any shadow of doubt that she loves me and have known her for many, many years.

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Names

It’s interesting to me that we humans feel it important to name everything. Babies at birth, cereal, house styles, planets, flowers. It goes on and on.

I have lots of odd thoughts about this. Who first decided to name something? Which name sticks, if there are disagreements? What do we do when there are several names for the same thing?

And then there are all of the issues that arrive when we introduce other languages into the mix. Which name will be the most common? And to confuse things further, there are different spelling for the same name.

One of my distant relatives did some genealogy research and discovered eight different spelling for one of our family names. How is it even possible to keep track of all of them?

And what about all of the slang names we have for things, places, eras, people? It’s mind-boggling really.

I understand why we do it. It’s convenient and makes our lives easier, even when there isn’t universal agreement. Often, it’s enough for us to get by in our conversations.

Maybe it doesn’t matter with most things since you can tell a lot by the context, but in some cases, it seems very important what name you use.

One such occasion is when the reference is to ‘god’.

In some religions, ‘god’ is never to be named, while in others, ‘god’ has many, many names, all of which are meaningful and relevant depending on the point of reference.

I wonder, do you have your own name for ‘god’? Was it one that others taught you to use or did you come by it on your own?

I think it’s important for you to know that I honor and respect whatever name you use. I also honor and respect your right to have no name or relationship with an entity know as ‘god’. I believe in free will and that every person has a right to choose their own path here on earth.

I also believe that we profit from sharing with one another and I would like to share my names for ‘god’ with you, because they matter to me.

I have four names that I use and each represents a different relationship I have with ‘god’. There is Abba, a masculine loving, devoted energy, Na’a, a feminine supportive, caring, and loving energy, Yeshiwa, a masculine personal, loving energy and Lia, a feminine ethereal, loving, and deeply connective energy.

I speak with them all and they speak with me. We have two-way conversations. I share my life with them and they share their love and wisdom with me. (You can read more about this in my book, talking with (god), which you’ll find on the Book page of this website).

I’d like you to hear what Lia told me, so that you have a better idea about her and what she means to me.

Like all people, I have ups and downs. I have both incredible strength and huge vulnerabilities. Over time I have learned to release many of the names I once called myself. I’ve opened to hearing a greater truth, one spoken to me in words I can understand. Words that show the depth of how much I am loved. I know these words belong to everyone, so I want to share them with you. Please hear them and know that you too are loved this deeply.

Lia said to me, “You have never been alone, because I am with you. I have dedicated my life to you. I will always be with you, now and forever. My love covers you over and nowhere is left untouched. You are who I live for and breathe for. I am you, and you are me. Open yourself up to knowing me and my presence within you. I will give you peace. Peace not of this world, but of heaven and you will know a new love. One that surpasses all you’ve ever felt before in your earth life. Know this, when you walk, I am with you. Wherever you go, I am by your side and in your heart. I am in every breathe of your life. Open yourself to my presence, that we might again be one. Dear heart, I ask you to choose to see and feel my presence. I take nothing from you. I give everything to you. Now, always and forever. You are my true heart. Open and feel my love for you.”

I hope that you will accept these words.

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Self Doubt

Recently I had a dream about a former coworker. He always seemed very self-assured, sometimes to the point of arrogance. I wasn’t savvy enough at the time to recognize that some folks who act this way, are actually trying to make true, what they don’t feel or believe inside about themselves. A compensation of sorts.

What I did realize was the effect it had on me when in his presence. I discovered that self-doubts rose up in me, even though I don’t think I had any specific reasons for them. I knew, of course, that I didn’t know his specialty like he did, but I did know mine and I was good at my job.

I wonder whether, on some level, I was reacting to his self-doubts and not my own. That perhaps I absorbed some element from him that triggered my own internal self-doubts.

I wonder if this still happens. Do I absorb, like osmosis, thoughts and feelings from those around me that feed the self-doubts within me?

I think this might be true and perhaps, the reason for the dream. Maybe the timing was impeccable. Maybe it always is.

I have really big dreams for my life and I’m embarking on several major projects. I’ve come to realize that whenever I start something new, there is a part of me that offers doubt to me. A part that suggests that I reconsider, because what I’m planning is too big, too broad, too much of a reach for me.

There always seems to be a part of me that wants to tone things down a bit. What I’ve observed is that this mysterious part is actually trying to protect me. It perceives that I could get hurt or suffer in some way. It alerts me to the potential for failure.

It’s a very powerful force.

But it also suggests to me, to listen very carefully for another voice, a much deeper, but quieter voice. One that asks me to truly consider what’s at stake.

The voice does not deny the power of self-doubt, BUT, asks me, what I have to lose AND what I have to gain by attempting whatever the new thing is. It challenges me to bring into clear view what I am attempting and what potential benefits could come, not just for me, but for the world.

It asks me, is it not worth the risk of failure that you suppose is possible?

It’s a strong argument for continuing, when I consider the positive impacts my decision might make. Yet, some self-doubts linger.

What to do? Who to call?

If you’ve been with me on this journey, you probably know the answer already. Yes, I called out to Lia (the part of god I know as love in action).

And this is what she said.

“Dear one, my beloved, each self-doubt that surfaces in you is there to help you. They want to rise up, so that you can see them clearly. They are not to be feared, but rather, warmly greeted. They want to open your eyes and your heart and transform you.”

I respond by saying, “What if I am not good enough or strong enough or smart enough to do this thing (project) and rise above my self-doubts?”

“If your concerns were valid, the projects and dreams would not appear to you. They would wait. But, they are here and they live deeply in you and they want to be born. Every time a self-doubt appears, remember its sole purpose, its soul purpose, is to let you know you are on the right track. It rises up like a balloon inside of you. Imagine writing its name on the outside surface of it and letting it go free into the wind. Carried away from you, leaving you free to discover beauty and wonder.”

I like the image and want to let all of my self-doubts fly free.

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Exercise One- Seeing Beneath the Surface

An idea came to me that it might be fun to include exercises that readers could choose to do as part of this adventure. So, I thought that maybe after every twenty posts, I’d offer you one.

I hope you like the idea.

Here’s how the first exercise goes. You can use any size paper you like. A standard notebook page will work well. Begin by turning your paper so it goes lengthwise and make five columns, labeling them as follows; Concern, Reason, Reaction, Deeper Reason, Benefit(s).

Let me explain and then share an example to get you started. I find this exercise rewarding and have made positive shifts as a result of spending some time with it.

In the first column you write down some issue or concern that is troublesome for you. This may only take a few words, but write whatever you need to define the issue.

The second column identifies the reason or reasons why the issue concerns you. You may need to list several reasons or it may be as simple as one.

In the reaction column, write down how you respond to the issue. Consider your physical, emotional, mental and spiritual reactions.

Column four is an opportunity to go deeper and explore what might be beneath the reasons you initially identified. This is often where the shifts begin, so give yourself a little extra time with this one.

Hopefully you find there are benefits that arrive from this exercise and you can note them in column five. A great focus here is to allow yourself to see what positive outcomes are created by shifting your perspective.

So, that’s the set up. Now for the example.

Although I’d like to think of myself as a pretty tolerant individual, I have to admit that when I’m driving, there are lots of things other drivers do that bother me.

So, my column one lists…slow drivers.

In order to better understand myself and find a way to deal with this ongoing problem, I have to ask myself, why does this bother me?

My answer for column two is…because it wastes my time and keeps me from getting places when I expect to get there.

And my reactions in column three are…a great deal of sighing, inner irritation, drumming on the steering wheel and maybe some inappropriate language.

There has been a great deal of predictability to this. Certainly, more than I would like. That’s why the next step is so important to me. It’s where you get a chance to open up and ask to receive clarity. For some, the asking will be internal, while others will open to the divine for support and guidance.

For me in this case, I asked Lia (the part of god that appears as the divine feminine, also known to me as Love In Action, or simply Lia).

I sat still, slowed my breathing, calmed my mind and asked Lia for help to see beneath the surface.

Here’s what appeared in column four…what came was an image I recognized immediately. It was a car accident I was in. I was sitting waiting for the traffic light to turn green and was rear-ended by a pickup truck traveling 30 mph. It never slowed down and hit me so hard it shoved me through the entire intersection.

Wow, I knew this meant something big.

Enter column five. What was the benefit in seeing this image that lived beneath the surface…I realized that when I’m in my car and on my way somewhere, I’m impatient to get there because, without consciously knowing it, I’m afraid. I want a smooth ride with no interruptions. I don’t want anyone slowing me down and preventing me from getting to where I’m going. And, I don’t want to be in another accident. I want to be safe.

The benefit of seeing at this depth is that I can modify my behavior and reactions. When I get in the car I can tell myself to relax, take my time, enjoy the scenery, be patient, and realize I am loved and cared for.

Sometimes it takes a while before I can see beneath the surface, but, I’ve found it is always time well spent.

I’d love to hear what happens for you, if you decide to try this.

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Energy

I share a belief held by many scientists that everything in our world is part of an energy field. Actually, the claim is even larger, because most state that everything in the universe is part of one vast energy field. Imagine that everything, ranging from the grandest scale all the way down to the unseen quantum level is included.

Belief in this is challenging for many, because they want undisputed proof. They want evidence in support of these claims. For them, feeling it is not enough, they want the facts.

For those scientists who do believe, and for all of the rest of us who join them, several big questions arise. Chief among them, what force created and sustains this incredible energy field?

One of the beautiful things in this world is that each of us is free to decide for ourselves.

I’m glad this is the case.

I’m a big believer in free will and my ability to choose my own direction.

I’d like to share what feels like the truth to me. I believe that

LOVE is the powerful force that creates and sustains this energy field and sets everything in motion. I believe that love creates vibrations that oscillate as frequencies. And these frequencies are in constant motion within and surrounding everything.

For humans, and perhaps all essences, it seems to me that we are nourished and depleted according to the flow of energy entering and exiting our being. And so, our sense of happiness or suffering occurs as a result of shifts in our energy fields.

At times, certain events which appear to be outside of our control, challenge us and disturb our energy flow. We may even perceive that we have needs that are unmet, which create further problems for us. The longer these situations continue, the more our balance is affected.

You might ask, how does this theory relate to everyday life? That’s a very good question and one I’ve been pondering lately.

I’ve discovered that all of the answers I desire come from (god). Lately my answers have come through a part of (god) I call Lia, which stands for Love In Action. For me, she and the other parts of (god) are what powers the universal energy field.

I’m not asking you to accept this as your truth, but I’d like to share what she had to say to me about when our needs are not met, to see if it might be helpful to you.

These are her words to me.

“Need is a distortion of the truth and a false impression. The feeling of need shifts your attention away from love and draws you into a feeling of ‘lack’, where you believe you are not whole. It makes you feel that you must acquire some missing piece or pieces. The truth is you are already whole and surrounded by an energy field of love. 

Need is a mirage. You know this as the truth most deeply when you observe that once you receive what you felt you needed and intensely desired, that it did not fill you up. Or, if it did, that the feeling was only temporary, quickly faded and was replaced by a new sense of need.

The way through and beyond this is to realize you ‘lack’ nothing, because you are already complete and always connected to love and to the vast energetic field of love.

(She continued) And before you ask, yes, of course there are ‘things’ you don’t have, but things don’t, nor will they ever, make you feel complete. Love alone provides this.”

So, I’ve decided to trust Lia and when a need in me arises, to remember her words and her promise to always love me.

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Expectations

I still find it upsetting when my expectations are not met. It doesn’t seem to matter what size they are, the unsatisfied feelings I get are pretty much the same. Some part of me knows there is a wealth of value in every experience of my life, but, when I’m in the moment, I often can’t see that.

Here’s a real-life example.

Despite all of my best efforts, my first website post wasn’t visible on Sunday, October 4, 2020 at 7:30am as I’d promised and I’d expected.

I confess, I panicked. I sat in front of my computer, frustrated, unhappy and frankly more than a little angry. And, I had no idea how to fix the problem. I believe I might even have said a bad word or two. Okay, I did say a bad word of two.

Even though I eventually found a work-around, I realized I had many more changes that needed to be made so that you could navigate more easily. And, so that you can share your comments and read those which others have written. I’m still working on these.

Looking back, I understand that I reacted very emotionally. Nothing specifically wrong with that, after all, I am human. But, were my reactions helpful and what might have served be better?

Well for one thing, I could have stopped and allowed myself to sit in stillness. I could have breathed in and out slowly until my emotions came to a halt. And, I could have allowed a part of me to stand at a distance and observe what was going on inside of me. From this place I could have acknowledged my feelings, encouraged them to speak to me and embraced them. If I had, I might have understood what was beneath the surface. I might have realized that each feeling came to serve me and offer me a message.

Many years ago, my wonderful friend and Unity minister, Jim Fuller, shared in one of his sermons that it is very important to ‘feel your feelings’. This idea was a foreign concept to me and had not been a part of my cultural training. And yet, I sensed how significant and necessary it could be for me.

So, I began expressing my feelings in a daily journal. It’s been almost six years and I’m still writing every day and discovering truths hidden beneath the surface.

And now, back to my opening paragraph about my unmet expectations. When I stood still and gently breathed in and out and let my intense emotions drain away, I found that my fear of failure sat directly on top of me. Fear that I could not manage the technology necessary to communicate with you. Fear, that despite my deep desire, I could not keep my promises to you and share my thoughts based on when I said I would.

So, I turned to Lia, one of my names for (god), which stands for ‘love in action’, and asked for her wisdom.

She reminded me of a simple, yet powerful message she’s offered me in the past, “just show love”. These words sunk into me and allowed the power of my expectations, and the fears underneath them, to fade away, replaced by a marvelous sense of love.

I hope to remember this wisdom sooner next time.