I’ve struggled with the whole idea of trust. Have you?
Partly it’s the concept. There are a lot of implied ideas involved but not a lot of agreement.
When you trust someone else, how open are you? Perhaps at first your trust is rewarded, however, at times you may end up disappointed with others because they break your trust, leaving you guarded for the future.
Maybe you ask yourself, was there an agreement or did you presuppose others were innately trustworthy?
And then there is the question of whether you trust yourself. Based on what I know about me, I wonder if I am as trustworthy as I think I am. Certainly I’ve let myself down on many occasions, but does that make me untrustworthy?
I feel I need to ask myself another important question to help get my bearings. What am I basing my sense of trust on? Is it evaluated solely on the outcomes I experience?
Or is it as simple as, if I don’t get my way, my trust is broken?
Clearly there is confusion here for me.
No doubt there are very intelligent and keenly insightful people who could share much about trust with me, but if you’ve read my posts before, you’ll know where I’m going for my answers. Yes, to Lia, a part of the way I see god (a name I have, in this case, for a decidedly feminine voice of god, which stands for ‘love in action’).
When I asked for clarity, this is what Lia said.
“Do you trust the universe?”
I responded, “I’d have to say the answer is ‘no’, based on how I’m interacting with the world”. I asked, “What can I do about it? How can I relax and allow the flow to carry me?”
Lia’s voice was smooth and calm as she spoke, “Trust is a big word and concept, BUT it isn’t what you think. Your version goes something like this”. All will be well, if I believe properly, rely and trust that the universe (divine, god) has my back, which means things will turn out essentially the way I want them too or I’ll see clearly that what is happening serves me.
“Does that sound accurate to you?”, she asked.
I said, “Pretty much, yes” and added, “so what is trust, if not that?”
There was a moment’s hesitation, as if to underscore the importance of her next words. “It is the belief that nothing matters, as it relates to the observable outcomes.”
I felt that would require more explanation for me to understand and said so.
Lia told me this, “Your version of trust tries to tie together your desired outcome with my actions, so that you experience what you say you want.” Then she added, “Trust (in me) means that, in advance of any outcome(s), you believe all will be well. Nothing specific is preplanned, but ALL outcomes exist. If you altered your belief system to accept that ALL outcomes serve you, you would not need one specific outcome to occur, you would be satisfied with what showed up. Knowing that whatever shows up will/does serve you (and others) is trust.”
I knew she had more to say, and I would have to come back to this to truly understand her message to me.
Lia continued, “Placing or demanding any specific outcome(s) represents a lack of trust and you will feel this across your essence- physical, emotional, mental, spiritual and ego. Part of the reason you will feel this is that the feeling is a message to/for you, a directional arrow pointing the way to living a peaceful, happy, joy-filled life.”
“Your feelings are giving you cues to follow. Those of discomfort tell you to move in another direction and those of pleasure and comfort encourage you to continue on your path.”
“If you don’t find or observe any cues, try something different, pay attention and move accordingly, trusting your insight to guide your way.”
“All of that is a lot to think about,” I stated.
“Yes,” she said, encouraging me to feel that I could return to this conversation any time I desired.
I’m sure I will. I need to feel more trusting in my life.