Tag: inspiration

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Adjectives

If you were offered the opportunity to choose a set of adjectives to describe yourself, what would they be?

Maybe like me, you’re a little foggy about the meaning of the word, adjective. Here’s a bit of help.

An adjective is a word that modifies or describes a noun (a word used to identify a person, place, or thing) or pronoun (identifying a specific person, place, or thing).

Adjectives can be used to describe the qualities of someone or something independently or in comparison to something else. For example, my sister is older than me (not that she admits it freely) or Einstein was smarter than the average scientist.

So much for the grammar lesson (not my favorite, and maybe not yours either).

So, back to my original question. What words did you choose? And, perhaps even more interesting, why did you choose the words you did? If you were asked, are they words you believe currently apply to you or maybe they are ones you’d like to apply to you in the future.

I remember once in high school, I found a long list of adjectives and decided to ask several of my friends to check off which ones they felt described me. I’m not sure if I tried to choose the ones I thought applied to me or just reacted to the ones they chose.

It was enlightening to run through their lists and compare them with each other and with what I thought about myself. As I recall, not all of them were ‘positive’ words, meaning I didn’t like the way they felt to me. Some of them were downright objectionable, but most I thought were pretty nice and I came away feeling good about myself.

I wonder what would happen if I repeated this exercise today?

Would I take it personally if I didn’t like all of the words they chose? Would it alter how I felt about them? Or how they felt about me?

How prepared would I be to accept their view? How prepared would they be to give me an honest assessment?

Sometimes we don’t want to know what other folks are thinking about us. It could be too threatening, and it could expose our vulnerabilities, bringing them to the surface. I think very few people would willingly choose to want that.

If you’ve been with me for a while, you know I always do whatever I’m asking you to do, so here’s my list.

Self-reliant, resourceful, loving, caring, helpful, creative, organized, funny (both intentional and unintentional), devoted, headstrong, resistant to authority, driven, too concerned about what others think, a dreamer.

I realize it’s a mixed bag and probably always will be. Notice I didn’t add the word, ‘perfect’. I acknowledge that there will always be room for me to improve (in my eyes and others) and grow and learn. I accept this as the truth.

What do you think your list says about you? Are there some hints available to you? And, now that you’ve done this once, might you want to repeat it and see what changes?

It dawned on me that my list contains words that came out of traumas in my life, especially the first two (self-reliant and resourceful). Something about my upbringing and adaptation to my cultural training encouraged (or the word could be, ‘forced’) me to look inward for my own guidance and support. I felt I could not entirely trust that I would be taken care of in all the ways I thought I needed, so I decided to be my own ‘boss’ and resolve whatever problems came my way, largely without the help of others.

It’s funny to me how, taking a good look at the adjectives I chose, they shed a great deal of light on how I live in this world and the decisions and choices I make. I wonder, is the same true for you

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Bucket List

I was at our local YMCA recently and came across a sheet laying on the check-out table. It was their version of a summer bucket list containing fifty or so items they were suggesting for summer activities. It was wide ranging, but as you might expect, heavily slanted toward physical health.

I’ve always liked the idea of bucket lists and began my own when I was in high school and have made numerous additions to it over the years. Many of the items have been ‘checked off’ and reading them gives me great pleasure.

A few items have dropped off my list due to spousal veto’s, such as hang gliding and roller blading, as she cites ‘excess ambition and potential physical damage with extensive recuperation time’ as her reasons. I feel compelled to concede, knowing she is no doubt correct.

Other items have been released, most notably, owning a castle on the Rhine. I can perhaps visit a castle on the Rhine, if we go on a European River Cruise, which IS on my bucket list. I think that would be a great substitute, after all the heating bills in the winter must be daunting.

I would love to know what others put on their lists and their reasons for their choices.

I thought I would share a few of mine with you, maybe to get you started on your own or just for a fun read. I split the groupings up into those I’ve already done and those presently on my To Do list.

Experienced

Built a treehouse for our children with my dad.

Laid on a bed of nails (Baltimore Science Museum)

Walked 500 miles between my college (Hartwick) campus and my wife’s campus (State University at Oneonta) over a three year period

Marched in a Parade (as By Scout Den leader)

Blown an Alphorn (Switzerland)

Spent a night in a train car (during camping trip in heavy rain)

Served at a Soup Kitchen

Written a Country Western song for my wife

Helped out after 9/11 (on-site financial support and food supply)

Swam with dolphins (Key Largo)

Sponsoring two children through Compassion (Maria and Sara)

Won a stuffed animal at an Amusement Park

Skied one Black Diamond trail (mostly slid my way down)

Signed up as Organ Donor (unrelated to the black diamond trail)

Bowled over 200 (221)

Scored below 80 in golf (79)

Present Bucket List (some of them)

Attend Special Events: graduations and weddings for our three grandchildren

Hold any great grandchildren born during our lifetime

Participate in the Polar Plunge (Lake George January 2024)

Walk the Rail Trail from end to end and back with Tommy

Extensive Creek Walk with Jenny

Have 50th Wedding Anniversary party (only one requested gift-each attendee offers 50 memories)

Visit some National Parks (Zion, Bryce, Arches, Antelope Canyon)

Travel to different cities in the US on vacation

Fast for 36 hours

Make deep connections with others

Teach/facilitate a Retreat/Workshop at Kripalu

Write more Little Buddha books (perhaps a total of 10)

Get in touch with old friends

Travel to a country to see the Aurora Borealis

Learn more about nature (add ID apps to my phone)

Read a challenging book

Make new friends

Shoot a bull’s-eye in archery

These are just a few items because there are so many more I could write down. The thing I like most about doing this is that it engages me in this present wonderful life.

I can dream of anything, knowing that if I really truly want to experience it, there is a way. If I conceive it and believe it and take action, all things are possible. What a gift!

I hope that you fill up your own Bucket List with things that light you up and give meaning and purpose to your life.

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Power Sources

The title to this post could imply many things. I’m curious, what was the first thing that popped into your mind?

Electricity, gasoline, wind, water, sun light, geothermal?

Or did you go a different direction?

Maybe politics, finances, athletics, social status, influence, popularity?

There are other avenues as well; food, animals, plants, bees?

And whereas all of these, and many more represent power sources, the ones I was thinking about were the internal ones that reside within us and the ones we gravitate to that exist outside ourselves.

Our cultural training offers us a host of options to choose from. Personally, I’ve found that many of these are quite unreliable. At first, they seem attractive, but they don’t offer much depth and can easily slip away.

Here’s an example.

One external power source that’s popular occurs when we listen to and value what others say to us instead of considering and deciding what we think and believe. Trading our power for the temporary power we receive from others does not seem beneficial or sustainable to me. Allowing the opinions of others to guide our lives may be helpful at times, but once we have a sense of who we are and where we want to go in life, it can be extremely counterproductive if we use it exclusively, rather than exercising our own internal power.

I admit that the power offered us by others can be very seductive. Receiving positive comments, congratulations and rewards can make us feel good, but if it happens in place of how we feel about ourselves, it robs us of our own power.

Comparing ourselves with others does the same thing, whether it’s about our weight, sales numbers, bank balances or popularity. Having someone, anyone else, determine our worth or value leads inevitably to a loss of our genuine power.

Shifting away from what others think, say, or do and embracing our own internal sources of power to enhance our lives is worth whatever amount of time it takes.

Creating our own sense of direction and pursuing our dreams and desires provides a pathway toward self-improvement. We can open doors into music, reading, connecting with others, writing, artwork, and all sorts of physical practices.

And during these experiences we can tell ourselves that we possess the ultimate power, which is the ability to use our free will to decide the course of our lives. We can set the stage for pursuing whatever direction we choose and can establish our own criteria for a satisfying life.

Holding onto our own power yields our best chance to create and experience whatever we choose, rather than be held captive to others’ expectations or demands.

Perhaps this feels like too much of a challenge to you. It could be that you’ve been conditioned to follow the lead of others and you strongly sense a need for support and guidance to help you exercise your own free will.

I have a suggestion for you if this is the case. It comes from my own life experience over the last twenty-six years. If you’ve read anything I’ve written, you can probably already guess what it is.

If you need guidance, aid, and support, I recommend that you begin by engaging with whatever your concept is for (god).

In my case, I have constant conversations with Lia, a feminine, ethereal part of (god) who talks with me and provides wise council, often opening my eyes to things I do not see clearly.

I can tell you with the certainty that comes from literally thousands of conversations that she loves and supports me. She offers clarification and insight and never attempts to ‘overpower’ me. In fact, she reminds me that I am in charge of my own life and am my own greatest power.

Should you want to have your own conversation with Lia or with whatever name for (god) that feels right to you, I encourage you to take just one step in that direction and see what happens. I believe there is enormous power inside you waiting to be released.

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Anger

I was sitting at my desk giving myself permission to follow any thought that came into my mind. I wasn’t reaching for a specific destination, just kind of waiting to see what would show up.

An image appeared. It was an old-fashioned typewriter, perhaps a Remington. For those unfamiliar with these, allow me to explain briefly. You have to insert a piece of paper, threading it carefully so that when you turn a knob, it the paper into view. Each time you hit the return arm, it advances the paper and returns its position to the far left. There are several rows of individual buttons with letters, numbers or characters and you have to depress them to print on the paper. As you depress a button a long metal arm raises up and strikes an inked cloth ribbon, which makes an impression on the piece of paper.

Using this kind of typewriter is more of an art than a science. If you happen to hit multiple buttons at the same time, the striker arms will lock together, forcing you to separate them and start over.

If you hit a wrong button, you have to correct your mistake, which would mean inserting a piece of ‘correct tape’ over the mistake and hitting the same button again to make the page white, ready for the correct letter.

Believe me, it was maddening if you were only a marginally capable typist like me. I remember needing quite a bit of correct type to fix my errors.

Recalling this, I discovered I was still in touch with how angry it sometimes made me.

The next image that came to me was somewhat bizarre. I imagined hitting a series of different buttons. Each time I hit a letter, I sensed a whole word appear and felt its depth.

H…helpless, F…frustrated, A…afraid, V…vulnerable, B…blamed, I…inconsiderate, D…danger.

What was happening? It took a moment to realize there was a pattern here. Each of these words represented a source of anger for me. I sat back to consider and saw more letters appear. I…insecure, O…oppressed, H…hopeless, M…mean, E…expectations.

Wow, the last one caught me off guard. It had more juice than the others. I wondered why?

To gain some clarity I decided to ask Lia, a divine feminine voice that offers me spiritual insight.

“What gives,” I asked, “can you help me understand my anger better?”

“Yes,” she responded adding, “anger is one of your egos most effective tools.”

“Really,” I questioned?

“Your ego’s chief role is to protect you. It’s important though to understand my use of the word ‘you’ here. Over the course of your life your ego has established firm boundaries. It does this to provide you with a sense of safety.”

“From whom,” I asked?

“From everything ‘not you’. To do this your ego builds what I’ll call ‘expectation models’. You create these models to determine what is acceptable to you. All things which do not fit within your expectation models are seen as ‘threats’ and will often manifest anger in you.”

“Are you saying that my sources of anger are triggers for me and that they arise because they’re identifying events outside my expectations of the way I think things should be?”

“Yes, exactly. All anger occurs when there is a gap between what you expect to happen (based on your expectation models) and what you think/believe you want to happen. The wider the gap, the greater the fear and consequently, the amount of anger that appears.”

“So, what I’m actually doing is protecting my self-image so that I feel safe, right?”

“Yes, although a part of you knows better. It senses there is a better way.”

“Which is,” I asked?

“If your aim is to live a joyful, contented, happy life, it would be wise to begin relaxing your expectation models. When a trigger arises, consciously recognize how you feel and decide if this feeling serves you in some way. Does it bring you joy? If it does not, make a conscious decision to release your anger, in favor of living a joy filled life.”

“Living a joy filled life is my greatest desire, so I’m going to do as you suggest. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with me.”

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What Are You Afraid Of

Okay, so what are you afraid of? You don’t have to tell me of course, but if you chose to write out a list, what would be on it?

I would be very curious to see how many of the items we had in common.

I’ll share some of mine with you:

spiders, snakes, heights, abandonment, rejection, others anger, some driving conditions, health concerns, epic failure, grand scale success, falling and getting hurt…

I’m sure there are a lot more. These are simply the ones that popped out the fastest.

Part of me wonders if there is something that ties them all together. Did I inherit them from my parents? Did they all happen early in my life when I didn’t have the defense mechanisms I have today?

I don’t immediately see any common threads.

Then I wonder, are my fears real or imagined? What I sense is that they FEEL real to me and that’s enough.

Another part of me asks, is there a distinction between being afraid versus not liking or preferring something? Could I substitute the word ‘uncomfortable’ for ‘afraid’?

I review my list to see and conclude that for most of the items, the answer could be YES, they make me uncomfortable, which begs the next question. Why?

Why, out of all of the things I experience in my life, do these items make my list? What is their source?

I wonder if I discovered their source, would it make a difference?

I scan my list again and determine that in most cases, YES, it would make a difference. If I knew WHY, I might be able to more easily release them. I could take back the power they hold over me.

That’s an appealing idea and it prompts a new question. What can I do to reveal the underlying cause or concern?

Here’s one thing that occurs to me. Most of the items on my list are NOT concerning from a distance. I can see a spider or a snake several feet away and not be scared. It’s only when I’m near enough for it to touch me that the fear kicks in.

Why is that? Does that same theory hold true if I substitute fear of failure or success for spiders and snakes? Is it true that from a distance failure and success pose no threat, but as they get closer, they produce fear?

Another question enters the picture. Is there an ‘edge’ involved here? Is it true for me that everything is okay until it reaches an ‘edge’, a point where it becomes more real to me?

I sit with this for a while then realize, yes, that feels true to me. So, now what? What resources are available to me? What decisions could I make so that I can feel better and be less fearful?

No doubt there are many self-help books which offer sound, practical, useful advice. And there are numerous professionals available to perform wonderful support and aid to those in need.

For me though, I want to see if I can solve my own challenges first, so I begin to look deeper within. I seek to move beyond the ‘edge’ and into previously uncharted territory. Did I adopt beliefs others in my life taught me? If they shared their reasons, do I still see any value in them? Is there real danger or are my concerns imaginary? Do I choose to release myself from their grasp or are they all worth keeping?

These are all important questions for me to answer.

I realize we each have our own lists and our own set of decisions to make about the items they contain.

I hope you end up choosing wisely and profit from your decisions.

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Threat Assessment

Do you always feel safe?

Or are you constantly aware that a certain amount of danger always exists? Perhaps it comes and goes depending on your circumstances.

Recently I was considering this issue and as I thought my way through it, some interesting ideas surfaced. I offer them to you for your consideration.

Five Aspects: Physical, Emotional, Mental, Spiritual and Ego

We are each comprised of five aspects. Each of these aspects focuses on specific areas of our lives and each is important and contributes to the whole. Ideally, they work in harmony, but sometimes they don’t, and this creates imbalances regardless of which aspect is challenged.

Ego’s Role

The ego’s job is to protect us from whatever it believes might pose a threat to us, whether it is true or not. Sometimes the ego can’t tell the difference, so it needs help from the other aspects.

Ego Messages

When the ego believes something is a threat, it reacts by sending messages to the other aspects, When they receive the message(s) they respond creating all sorts of reactions, many of which disturb the normal harmony that exists. When this happens repeatedly patterns are formed so that the same reaction(s) happen automatically.

If the message is received with a high intensity, the risk response is perceived to be greater, and this contributes to a stronger automatic response pattern. Even messages that are similar can create the same type of patterned response. Without some reason to change the automatic response, there is a linking that occurs. You encounter a threat, an automatic message is sent and received, and the same physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual reaction occurs, which creates programmed patterns, which then become your default settings.

All of this is based on a PERCEIVED threat, which our ego has detected and believes could represent danger and harm to us. It becomes very important to evaluate whether the threat is TRUE or FALSE, rather than accepting it at face value. There is great benefit to asking whether there is any tangible evidence to support the threat?

So, we can offer ourselves the opportunity to determine whether the threat is valid or a misperception by exercising our free will. We can step back and consider, using the intelligence of each of our aspects; physical, emotional, mental, spiritual and ego.

I find I often learn best when I reflect on an example. Maybe you do too, so, here’s one of mine. I am always fascinated by how significant this one simple event has turned out to be. It shed a brilliant, bright light on how important it was for me to break the cycle of automatic programed responses that did not represent the truth. They were merely default settings. They were based on incorrect information either told to me by others or misperceived by me.

Earlier in my life I formed a belief (based on what others told me) that if I was physically cold, I would ‘catch a cold’. This played out over and over in my life and was an extremely strong default setting. That is until one day some part of me challenged this idea. A tiny voice inside asked, “Do you truly believe that all one billion people living on this earth catch colds when their physical bodies are cold?” A heard the voice say something like, “That’s rubbish and can’t possibly be true. Maybe it’s time to take another look at your threat assessment and automatic responses that lead to this default setting.”

I began to recognize that my physical body was experiencing a symptom (being cold) which did NOT necessarily need to lead to having a physical cold, so I started to tell myself a new story. A story where I was stronger than I’d previously thought and where I was healthy and resilient. I informed my ego that its threat assessment was inaccurate and then shifted my default setting from weak (catching a cold) to strong (moving on with my life as a healthy being).

What I realized was that I could do that with any default setting that I felt no longer served me. What a fabulous turn of events. Rather than allow automatic settings to rule my life, I now question my assumptions and seek valuable evidence in support of what is actually happening. What a liberation.

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Limited Words

I have a question for you. If you let it, it could be a really important question, because your answer may end up guiding your life.

Here it is.

If you could only speak one hundred words from now until the end of your life, what words would they be, when would you speak them and to whom would you say them?

I ask you to avoid the temptation to answer right away. Instead, pause a moment to reflect.

Sit still and let the essence of this question take hold of you. Breathe in and out a few times.

Give your mind some room to consider.

One hundred words is not very many, so you may need a few minutes or a few hours to decide which ones are the most important to you.

Not only which words to choose, but who to say them to and when.

Would you spread them out, speaking only a few now, in order to save some for the years to come?

Or would you gasp a little and spill some words carelessly?

Stepping back like this could provide enough distance to take full measure of the importance of the words you use.

A while ago, I asked a variation on this theme. I asked that if you only had seven words you could use, what would they be? This time I’ve shifted, but the intention is similar because there is a limit. Whenever I feel the weight of some heavy limit upon me, I find it forces me to go deeper. I sense a need to clarify who I am and what is important to me.

The idea that I could only speak one hundred more words in my life is incredibly challenging and feels overwhelming.

I don’t like it at all. But the truth is, I know there is value in my asking.

One idea hits me. Maybe I could be clever and find ways to save some words. I could learn sign language or develop my own shorthand of signs. That way, I could still communicate, just not using words.

Still, being limited to one hundred words would be very difficult for me. Maybe for you too. Especially considering that a fairly common sentence could easily be seven to ten words. That’s only 10-14 sentences for my life.

If this situation was real and I truly had this limit, I believe I would want my family and friends to know I love them and that I care about them and their future.

I would want others to know how important they were to me and how much I hoped they would succeed and experience their dreams as reality.

I think I would skip all gossip, judgements, expectations, and admonitions. I would let others live their lives without commenting or giving my opinions because I would want to conserve my words for the good stuff.

I’m pretty sure my facial expressions speak volumes for me. I could replace my words with a variety of smiles and my body language could assist with conveying messages.

Even so, I think I would parse my words very carefully, which I see now that I don’t do at present. I take them for granted. I think this is a mistake on my part.

I think I will keep this idea in mind and let it guide my words for the future.

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Happiness and Joy

How do you measure your happiness?

Chances are if you are dieting, it is measured by whether you gain or lose weight. The changes may only be temporary, but they seem very important at the time. Of course, it’s possible to look deeper and evaluate according to the lifestyle changes you’ve made, even if they don’t directly impact your weight, but represent a healthier life plan for you.

Do you have other happiness measures?

Perhaps the size of your bank account, the funds in your investment portfolio, the car you drive, the number of friends you have, your athletic prowess or some other skill you possess?

Maybe your happiness is tied to something else entirely.

When I ponder this, I often land in the same place, asking myself whether my happiness is merely temporary? Is it easily stolen by someone else, based on their comments or opinions? Is my happiness too fragile or dependent on what happens to me?

These questions prompt me to reconsider the basis or source of my happiness. I confess I’ve struggled with this a lot.

I remember a time in college when my whole life seemed to be falling apart. My studies had stagnated, I had the absolute worst dorm room on campus, right next to the stairwell and common area lounge, facing the side of a hill so that little light penetrated and constantly being barraged by noise all day and all night.

Then my grandfather died. I was very close to him, and it hurt to think he was gone, and I didn’t even get to say goodbye. Not only that, but I also wasn’t invited home for the funeral. I guess my parents thought I’d miss too much school. Not one of their best decisions.

It’s likely you’ve had your own experiences of suffering, where happiness seemed a distant memory, if any memory at all.

Of course, life is balanced. There are up periods of happiness, and they are wonderful while they last, but some part of us knows they are temporary. There is an ebb and flow to happiness, and I believe everyone moves through its curve.

I wonder, what do we do when the unhappiness comes for us?

It took a long time for me to realize the problem I have with happiness is the source it arises from…my thoughts. I seem completely reliant on what I am thinking, placing my treasure there. Inside me, I know there must be a better way.

So, I do what I always do when my mind cannot solve a problem in my life, I drop into my heart to see what I am feeling, because my feelings shed light, guiding me forward.

I realize I have to wait, giving my mind a chance to release its hold and allowing my feelings to become clear. While I wait, I breathe in and out slowly, letting my heart open.

An awareness dawns on me. Happiness is fleeting because it is of the mind. It is my head telling me how I should feel. No wonder it comes and goes, because my mind wanders everywhere.

The awareness draws out a truth I have hidden inside. A truth that tells me happiness will always fluctuate.

It shares with me that what I want is…joy. Joy comes from the heart. It raises me up and cannot be stolen or destroyed.

I want to know more. I want to know the source of joy.

I am told, joy is the source. Joy and love are joined, forever in union, always available to me.

How, I ask?

I am told, remember that you are part of this joy, this love. Look outward into the world and see its reflection everywhere. Remember there is joy and love, even in those things you consider to be unhappy. Look past the surface. Look deeper and you will see the truth.

I want to believe this. I want to believe that I am a part of the joy and love that is my source. I want to remember.

For this moment, I understand I am being asked to trust this truth. It is up to me. And it is up to you too. What shall we do?

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People You Meet

I am a big believer that there is something special and unique that I can learn from every single experience I encounter in my life.

What do you think?

We can probably agree that some experiences are stronger than others and seem much more important or powerful, but believing that every single experience has something to teach us, perhaps you might think that could be going too far.

I might have felt that way at one time in my life but when I slow down and shift my perspective to a moment-to-moment framework something else happens. I see a wealth of meaning and connection.

It would probably help if I offered an example.

My wife and I recently went to Florida for twelve days of sunny, warm vacation. We arrived at our local airport, got our boarding passes, checked our bags, made our way through TSA and were sitting at our designated gate, awaiting boarding. There were lots of people milling around and most seats were full. Some of the flights were delayed, causing some annoyance to several passengers.

My wife and I sat down, storing our carry-on items in the empty seat between us. When the man next to her got up and headed toward the gate where boarding was starting, I decided to change my seat and took over his vacated space.

Despite my belief that he was boarding the plane, he must have been throwing something out, because he returned a moment or two later. Once he observed that I had taken his seat, he leaned toward me and said, “that’s my seat, sport!”, in what I would term a somewhat threatening voice and posture, leaving no doubt in my mind that he expected me to get up and relocate, so that he could have ‘his’ seat back.

Without giving it any thought, I stood up and changed back to where I had been sitting. However…I confess to feeling stung by his words and gestures, especially his use of the term ‘sport’. It reeked of condescension.

Part of me immediately went into hostile mode and wanted to know what right he had to speak to me in that manner or to demand ‘his’ seat back. There was no sign on it. He hadn’t left an open magazine there to claim his spot. He didn’t say to us, “I’ll be right back, could you save my seat for me?”. Nothing.

Another part of me wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he was having a really bad day. Maybe his flights had been messed up and he’d had to sleep overnight in the airport. Maybe his use of the term ‘sport’ wasn’t intended to ruffle or irritate me.

A third part of me wished I’d stayed where I was and told him he had no claim to the seat. No ownership. No rights. And, by the way, “who are you calling ‘sport’, sport!?”

There was yet another part of me operating during this sequence. I’ll call it my ‘inner observer’. It’s the part of me that takes notice of my thoughts and actions. It invites me to step back for a moment to consider. It encourages me to see if there is a bigger picture operating. And it asks valuable questions like, why is this triggering you and is it necessary or helpful for you to take this personally?

When I allow my observer to take center stage I see, hear, sense, and understand more. My observer also aids me in releasing my initial thoughts and reactions. I can let go of my what does not serve or benefit me. I can release my ‘possession’ of the seat and allow his comment and tone to pass through me. I can set aside my personal reactions and ownership of being triggered by his manner or expectations.

This ten second ‘connection’ between us can inform my whole world and leave a lasting impact on me. The choice is mine to decide. Not his nor anyone else’s. Mine.

What I take away from this or any other single connection I form with another is entirely up to me. That’s a powerful thing and I can choose to carry with me all of the hurtful or all of the helpful feelings that go with it.

I believe everyone can do this.

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Important ‘INGs’

I love words.

Sure, there are exceptions (like vomit or cancer) but on the whole I think words are magical, wonderful, and powerful.

Lately I’ve been drawn to words ending in the letters ‘ing’ and noticing how they impact my life. Maybe you have your own favorite ‘ing’ words.

I thought I’d share some of mine and see if they are already on your list, or perhaps they are words you’d like to add, because you see some value for yourself.

I’ll start with ‘sleeping’. Lately I’ve been paying much more attention to my physical being and realize now how dramatically important it is for me to get a decent amount of sleep and at the optimal time. Previously, I thought I could get by on 6 hours of sleep but have come to understand how this devalues and depletes me. Sleep sets the stage for everything else I experience in life, so I’ve decided to make it a priority.

‘Eating’ is my next word. For a long time, I’ve been wondering if there was a better way for me to eat. Not only how much, but when and what foods in specific. I suppose everyone shifts and changes over their life to some degree, but I feel I need to be more careful in the selection of what I eat. I’m not looking to stir up a wide-ranging conversation about what’s the best or most beneficial plan, just what’s best for me.

I’ve also been considering what forms of exercising are in my body’s best interest. I’m inviting my innate wisdom to help me decide. Is it stretching, strengthening or something else. Perhaps it is a combination of things. The important point seems to be, to do something to keep myself active and in shape. Fortunately, there are tons of people and resources to assist me.

Not everything I’m considering is about my physical body. I’m also aware of and interested in my feelings. Do I allow myself the freedom to feel or does my thinking mind take over everything? I don’t want to bypass my feelings because they are critically important to a holistic approach to my life. And they assist in guiding me and the directions I choose to take in life.

One of the most undervalued aspects of my life is resting. It’s a big challenge for me because I am such a ‘doer’. I seem to be in constant motion and often don’t balance that with replenishing rest. It needs to be more of a priority for me and I’d profit from allowing and encouraging myself to believe in the value of downtime and a good rest.

Dreaming is something I’m really good at. I have huge dreams and I’m capable and highly motivated to turn my dreams into my reality. I give myself permission to have creative dreams without limits, kind of a brainstorming approach where you allow everything to come forward without judgement or evaluation. This sets my dreams free and allows a birth to take place. What you are reading right now (this post and the website it comes from) came about as a result of one of my big dreams.

Of course, there are many, many more.

Working, thinking, writing, walking, believing, experiencing…the list goes on and on. Yours probably does too. Someday it would be fun to compare lists.

As I was writing this post I wondered if there was one ‘ing’ that tied things together for me and a beautiful word popped up…living.

It creates a host of thoughts and feelings. How long do I want to live? What sort of quality life do I want to live? What experiences do I want to have?

I don’t have answers to all of my questions…I’m still considering.

Fortunately, I don’t feel that I need to know everything. The day-to-day journey is so fantastic, I’m just happy to be along for the ride. I hope you enjoyed reading this