Okay, so what are you afraid of? You don’t have to tell me of course, but if you chose to write out a list, what would be on it?
I would be very curious to see how many of the items we had in common.
I’ll share some of mine with you:
spiders, snakes, heights, abandonment, rejection, others anger, some driving conditions, health concerns, epic failure, grand scale success, falling and getting hurt…
I’m sure there are a lot more. These are simply the ones that popped out the fastest.
Part of me wonders if there is something that ties them all together. Did I inherit them from my parents? Did they all happen early in my life when I didn’t have the defense mechanisms I have today?
I don’t immediately see any common threads.
Then I wonder, are my fears real or imagined? What I sense is that they FEEL real to me and that’s enough.
Another part of me asks, is there a distinction between being afraid versus not liking or preferring something? Could I substitute the word ‘uncomfortable’ for ‘afraid’?
I review my list to see and conclude that for most of the items, the answer could be YES, they make me uncomfortable, which begs the next question. Why?
Why, out of all of the things I experience in my life, do these items make my list? What is their source?
I wonder if I discovered their source, would it make a difference?
I scan my list again and determine that in most cases, YES, it would make a difference. If I knew WHY, I might be able to more easily release them. I could take back the power they hold over me.
That’s an appealing idea and it prompts a new question. What can I do to reveal the underlying cause or concern?
Here’s one thing that occurs to me. Most of the items on my list are NOT concerning from a distance. I can see a spider or a snake several feet away and not be scared. It’s only when I’m near enough for it to touch me that the fear kicks in.
Why is that? Does that same theory hold true if I substitute fear of failure or success for spiders and snakes? Is it true that from a distance failure and success pose no threat, but as they get closer, they produce fear?
Another question enters the picture. Is there an ‘edge’ involved here? Is it true for me that everything is okay until it reaches an ‘edge’, a point where it becomes more real to me?
I sit with this for a while then realize, yes, that feels true to me. So, now what? What resources are available to me? What decisions could I make so that I can feel better and be less fearful?
No doubt there are many self-help books which offer sound, practical, useful advice. And there are numerous professionals available to perform wonderful support and aid to those in need.
For me though, I want to see if I can solve my own challenges first, so I begin to look deeper within. I seek to move beyond the ‘edge’ and into previously uncharted territory. Did I adopt beliefs others in my life taught me? If they shared their reasons, do I still see any value in them? Is there real danger or are my concerns imaginary? Do I choose to release myself from their grasp or are they all worth keeping?
These are all important questions for me to answer.
I realize we each have our own lists and our own set of decisions to make about the items they contain.
I hope you end up choosing wisely and profit from your decisions.