How Do I Love Me

Who taught you about love? It might be hard to remember. It may go back so many years that you’re not even sure.

I believe all babies come to earth filled with love, ready to be held, so that they can share their overwhelming sense of wonder with anyone who picks them up.

I certainly felt this when I held my children and grandchildren. I looked into each of their eyes to see if they could remind me what heaven was like. I gazed at them and felt a beautiful sense of oneness and closeness. And I fell into their bright, shiny faces, absorbed in their afterglow.

I felt as much coming into me as I was sending into them. Each of them taught me about love.

Sometimes I wish I could remember what it felt like to arrive here on earth. To be the one held. I imagine what a difficult trip it must have been, having my first breath squeezed out of me and needing desperately to have my lungs filled with air. Then trying to adjust to all the open space around me and the chill and bright lights and commotion. It’s no wonder that many babies scream. I want to, just thinking about it.

As a baby’s days pass and their experiences deepen, I wonder, how are they to learn about life? Who will listen to them for the clues that they are ready to learn? Who will be their teachers?

Will it be an interaction, an exchange of the meanings of life or will the baby have to do all the receiving and not be allowed to do any of the teaching?

As the baby becomes a child, the lessons begin. All sorts of things must be learned. What ‘hot’ means. That food belongs in your mouth, not on your head or the floor. That scissors are pointed, and that most animals have soft fur, but very sharp teeth.

After a while the lessons shift from being primarily about safety and become about understanding the world. There is a process of discovery. What a color is and what letters are and how numbers work together.

All of this is important. Necessary even.

But what about love? Who teaches us about this? Is it someone who knows what it means and how it is shared? Or do we sometimes learn from someone, who themselves, was never taught and can therefore not teach?

Are we shown examples to follow? And if so, what do they tell us about love? Is there harmony between what we are told and what we see happen in the world?

Often there are wide discrepancies, and we are expected to behave according to other’s words and ignore their conflicting actions.

But we know the truth somehow. We can feel it.

And whether we like it or not, it becomes up to each of us to decide about love, especially, the love we feel for ourselves. We may be fortunate enough to have had wonderful role-models to follow, but if not, we owe it to ourselves to be our own source of love.

I believe that deep inside each of us there is an inexhaustible wellspring of love. It’s inside already, waiting to be tapped. We don’t have to look outside to find it. And we don’t have to wait for anyone else to give it to us. We can give it to ourselves.

I believe this is the truth because we all came here with it. Each of us was wrapped up in love.

We show our self love by giving ourselves permission to release all the lessons we’ve been taught by others that do not feel true to us, and recognize that they may have meant no harm while teaching us. They just didn’t know better.

We show our self love when we forgive those who failed to help us understand, that the most important love, is that which we show ourselves. Then we can move on.

We show our self love when we accept that we are all beautiful, radiant beings, able to embrace the truth that we are all lovable. And in this way, we take charge of answering the question, how do I love me.

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4 Replies to “How Do I Love Me”

  1. How do I love me ? It is in me ! I do see that, from your description. Loving yourself. For me , I’m struggling. I’ve lost the sense of joy and happiness. I can’t please everyone I need to . My loving my self , is gone because I put others first . I try to fix there situations. When I can’t , they are mad . My circle is disappointed. And I am left alone . Unhappy . Why do I need to fix and worry about everyone else . I don’t know . I’m buying there love . I think


    1. I believe loving ourselves is the most important aspect of this life. We are not taught this, in fact, often quite the opposite, so it is no surprise that we struggle. Especially if we’ve been taught to seek our love outside of ourselves and prioritize pleasing others first. We can do so much of this that there is very little love left over for ourselves. I hear your words and know how they feel within me and can imagine how they may feel inside of you. If I could wave a magic wand, I would swoop it over your head and take all of the fear and unhappiness away, leaving you with abounding love for yourself. But alas, I can’t do that. You are the only one who can give yourself permission to shift your love, placing it directly around you, rather than over the top of others. The question becomes, how do YOU initiate this change? One way is to release yourself from managing the world. It is too big anyway. Others are responsible for themselves. They can not grow through the actions of others (yours included), no matter how well intended. And, you can not grow without loving yourself. This means considering each of your decisions carefully. The next time you are faced with a situation, ask yourself, ‘how do I FEEL about this’? Your feelings are wonderful guides, if you allow them to be. What would YOU like to happen? This does not mean you ignore others, but it does mean you consider the impact of your decision for yourself first. Will your needs be met? Will there be joy in your life? I believe we each came here to create and experience our best, most joy-filled, loving life. If this appeals to you and is what you want, now is the time to choose it. You have free will, so you can choose whatever YOU desire. It is up to you to choose wisely. If you want a sounding board, I am here.

      Liked by 1 person

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