There seems to be a battle going on inside of me and perhaps this happens to you as well.
It seems to center around the role of my ego, which spends a great deal of time feeling conflicted. On the one hand it wants to expand and grow larger and on the other hand, it wants and needs to protect what it has created.
As it expands, its defensible area requiring protection grows, creating more pressure. In effect, by its very nature, it is making its life (my life) more challenging with each expansion, no matter how small the bite.
It feels like a losing proposition, and I wonder how I will ever gain any sense of peace, if this continues?
I want peace in my life. I want to feel whole and complete and release any need to protect myself from everything around me.
I imagine you may feel the same way and that you too probably want to feel a sense of freedom.
I recognize I need help and I know where I need to go for it.
So, I ask my divine guide, Lia (which stands for Love In Action), a part of god who speaks to me in an ethereal feminine voice, for her counsel.
Her presence warms me immediately. I know she will help me find a clear path, so I begin to calm and slow my breathing.
She tells me it is up to me to make decisions about my way forward.
I want to know more, so she offers me this advice.
“Nothing happens in your life without you choosing it. It is important to remember that ‘choosing’ is a ‘command’ word to your whole being (essence), therefore, as you use it, you must apply it to all parts of you, including and especially, your ego.”
Lia tells me that her use of the word, ‘must’, is not meant as a requirement, but rather is used to note what I ‘must’ do, if I want to experience a certain outcome.
As usual, I need some clarification, so Lia continues, “What I am saying is that, if you believe and desire to feel whole, complete, happy, joyful, or any other feeling, you must ‘command’ (choose) that this belief is your reality.”
She knew I still needed more, and went on, “You do this all the time, as with so many other decisions and it becomes who you are, no longer who you want to be.”
She asked me if this made sense to me.
I responded, “Yes, and it would seem that this is what affirmations do, when they are honest, true and believable commands, from my inner to my outer self.”
“Exactly,” Lia agreed, “as you speak it (a choice which is commanded by you), so it shall be (what you accept into your life and experience in the world).”
“It is within this practice that all things come forth in your life. Without any conscious commands, nothing happens. You remain motionless, which allows all your defaults to appear and guide your direction.”
I began to understand what she was really saying. I am the maker of my life. Because I have so many programs running in the background, my life can run on autopilot.
I have enough experience with this to know it does not create the life I desire, so it is up to me to consciously choose what to command in my life.
This makes me fully responsible for the life I experience and as difficult as that may sound, it is exactly the way I want it to be.
I am grateful for her presence in my life and tell her so.