Apology, Cost or Blessing

Have you ever considered that an apology could come at a cost to you or instead, be a huge blessing?

It’s interesting to me that the statement can be interpreted from several different directions. Perhaps the apology comes from you, but maybe the apology is offered to you.

Do you feel the same way in both circumstances?

Sometimes it depends on when the apology happens. If it’s too far into the future from the incident, it might lose its value. It also matters whether the apology is sincere or not, because without sincerity the words would not represent an expression of real sorrow or remorse, a kind of ‘non-apology’ apology.

So much goes into the act of an apology. It can be extremely difficult to know where you stand, as the one apologizing or the one being apologized to.

If you’ve seen my Facebook and Instagram posts, you’ll be familiar with the four-word questions I pose that have beautiful background art works created by my dear friend, Cheri Warren.

Together, we created a 52-card oracle deck which we hope to have available for folks who are interested. (More about that in the future- Self Discovery Cards, A 52 Card Deck that guides you to your true self).

What I wanted to share was that one way to use the cards is to shuffle the deck and choose one card at random, then answer the question posed.

I wanted to try the cards out for myself, so opened the pack, shuffled, chose one and flipped it over to reveal a card. It happened to be the one with this Post’s title, Apology, Cost or Blessing. I felt no connection to the card. It didn’t spark anything inside of me and I was a bit disappointed.

However, an hour or so later…wham! A string of meaningful thoughts arrived, seemingly out of nowhere. After the shock of recognition, a further question popped up.

‘To whom do I need to apologize?’

I sat with that, pondering. Then three words showed up…’Me, that’s who’.

I’d never considered that when the question came up. I’d immediately thought about what person I needed to apologize to or who had offended me enough that I’d expect an apology from them.

So, why me? Why would I need to apologize to myself?

A voice inside me spoke saying, “because you’ve released our power. You’ve let it leak out of us.” It was a somewhat angry voice and I realized it was my ego speaking. It was demanding to be heard saying, “you don’t stick up for us”.

I realized it was the truth and that there were many situations I allowed my power to ebb away. I felt truly sorry that my actions had caused myself pain and sorrow. I apologized and committed to make some important changes, ones that would hopefully keep this from happening again.

I recognize how this simple apology cost nothing but has created many blessings for me. I can be more honest in the moment, watching carefully what I do and say and making sure it is in harmony and alignment with my life plan, with who I am here to be. I am so happy that I chose that particular four-word question and look forward to the next one I choose, realizing it might take a moment or two before it reveals some deep truth to me